Love Is Overdue (53 page)

My eyes went wide as I just stared
right back at him in shock.

“
Gabriela…” His voice
poured out so smoothly, as he just stared me down. “Don’t look so
surprised – you know I could spot your face in a sea of a thousand
different women…”

I nearly choked on my
drink.

“
This is for you,” he said
softly.

“
Holy…fucking…shit…” I
heard Corinne exclaim in disbelief but I refused to acknowledge it.
I couldn’t. I was basically stunned into a complete cathartic
trance.

And within seconds the band started up
again and the melody nearly made me fall to my knees. Ben kept his
eyes glued right on mine.

And I just stared right back at him as
I fought back the tears, as him and the band gave me their own
heart-wrenching, beautiful rendition of Gregory Isaacs’ ‘Love Is
Overdue’ – and I just stood there and listened, taking it all in -
the people, the crowds, the noise around me becoming a vast sea of
nothingness. I only heard him – his voice, the music – and stared
right back into his beautiful eyes. It was all I could do. It was
all I wanted to do. It was all I needed.

Corinne was nudging me, knocking me
back into reality – the last place in the world I wanted to be
right then. “Holy shit, Gabby…”

The song was over but I still couldn’t
move. Ben was fixing the mic back up onto the stand. His eyes were
right back on mine again. “Yes, people...y’all are amazing …peace
and love. Respect.” He gave the crowd a little salute with his two
fingers and with that, he jumped off the stage and disappeared back
into the crowds.

I started to panic. Where was he
going? What if he disappeared again for good? I was losing it. My
heart was racing.

Corinne was dragging me back through
the crowds and over to the bar. “I think you need another drink,”
she explained, as I heard the band start up again.

No, I needed Ben. He was all I needed,
all I wanted…

“
Two Long Island
iced-teas!” Corinne was shouting out at the bartender. “It’s on
me!” She waved me off as I started to reach for my
purse.

I couldn’t speak. My eyes just kept
scanning the faces around me, the throngs of people that just kept
blocking my view. Maybe if all these faces and bodies would just
fucking disappear, I could finally find him – I could finally have
him there next to me. Where was he? Why wasn’t he coming to find
me? After all the trouble he’d went to, after everything he’d
planned and carried out, trying to get me here…why was he staying
away? Why?

Corinne handed me my drink and when I
turned around I saw Ivan stepping up to the bar. I caught his eye
and he just shook his head slowly, a slow smile spreading across
his face. “Damn, girl…”

“
Ivan…have you seen Ben?” I
shouted out over the music.

He lowered his eyes at me then.
“Yeah…on stage…didn’t you?” He looked amused as hell.

“
Well…yeah…”

Ivan sucked his teeth. “He got it bad,
girl…make sure you let him down easy...”

My eyes went wide in shock.
“What?”

He was still chuckling to himself. “Am
just playin’…don’t worry yourself, am sure he’ll find you…” And
then he turned to the bartender. “Yow…Corona an’ lime…”

Fuck
. I couldn’t stand
it anymore. I needed some air.

“
I’ll be right back!” I
shouted over to Corinne then, who had started up a conversation
with some guy who’d been eyeing her as we waited in line to get to
the bar. I handed her my drink and turned to survey my
options.

Making my way back through the chaos
of the bar to the front door seemed too daunting so instead I
turned and headed towards the restrooms, remembering the back
entrance where Ivan had picked me up in the alley. The cool night
breeze hit me immediately as I stepped out the door, the music
fading away behind me.

I glanced to my right and saw a small
group of people sharing a joint so I turned left instead and leaned
up against the side of the building and pulled out my phone. Maybe
I should text him, I thought absentmindedly, but then I decided
against it. Ivan was right. Ben would find me.

Not ten seconds after I had tried to
conjure his presence up in my mind the back door swung open and
there he was. Just like that. I nearly fell over, but instead I
just sucked my breath in and watched as he turned to his right and
then left and then locked his eyes right on mine and began making
his way slowly over to me.

He smiled at me and it just warmed me
all over. “There you are.”

I didn’t know what to say. “Hi.” It
was all I could manage.

He stopped right in front of me.
“Hi.”

“
Houdini…” I let my breath
out slowly.

He laughed softly, not taking his eyes
off me. “You been lookin’ for me?”

“
Hey Ben!” Someone from the
group of pot-smokers was calling out to him then. “Want a hit off
this?”

Of course,
I thought.
It was just like Ben to know everyone. Some things never
changed…

Ben averted his eyes from me briefly.
“Nah, man…I’m good.” And then he just turned right back to
me.

“
Wow. It’s not like you to
turn down a free hit.”

“
It’s not like me to do a
lot of things…but somehow I still been doin’ them,” he admitted
softly.

“
Like what?” I wanted to
know.

He raised those sexy eyebrows at me,
making me flush. “You want a list?”

“
Maybe.”

“
Hmm…” He thought for a
moment, and then took another step closer to me. “How ‘bout just
the most important one?” he asked softly. He sounded so
serious.

“
What is that?” I wanted to
know, my heart beating furiously.

“
Missing you so much I
can’t fall asleep at night.”

I didn’t say anything right away. I
just stared back at him. “That’s it?”

He shook his head slowly.
“No.”

“
What else?”

His eyes stayed fixed on mine as he
reached out and pushed a lock of hair from my eye. “Baby, I want
you back...”

I waited again. “That’s it?” I
whispered.

He sucked his teeth softly. He placed
the palms of his hands on the brick wall on either side of my face
and stared down at me. “Gabby, I’m so in love with you I can’t even
think straight anymore…”

I sucked my breath in and bit my
lip.

“
I don’t want you back…I
need you back…or I may never sleep again.” He paused, his eyes like
two black pools without a ripple in sight. I saw my own reflection
staring back at me.

“
How is that?” he wanted to
know.

I swallowed. I still had no
words.

“
You not gonna say
nothin’?”

I just shook my head
slowly.

Ben pulled each of his hands slowly
from the wall and brought them to my face, caressing my cheeks so
tenderly as he sucked his breath in. “I could get used to that,” he
whispered so softly, as his mouth met mine and he just started
kissing me so deeply – so fucking intensely – just swirling his
tongue around mine and pulling me in like he was never going to let
go. I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan, as my whole body
seemed to just melt against that wall.

“
Oh shit…” I gasped as he
pulled back slowly.

“
Mmm…” He laughed softly,
still stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. “I knew it wouldn’t
last,” he whispered.

“
Why should I believe you,
Ben?” I whispered then, having finally found my voice, my heart
just racing in circles.

He sighed softly, giving my question
some serious consideration. “You saw what I did in there, right?”
he asked softly. “Harassed you with those fucking flyers all
week…you watched my video too, didn’t you?”

I sighed. “Yeah…typical fucking
narcissist that you are…mention me only at the very end…only you
would have the gall to think I would sit and watch the whole twenty
minutes…”

He just smiled back at me. “I was
right, though.”

“
Yeah, I guess you were.” I
just stared back at him. “How did you even know I would be here? I
mean, with my mom and everything else, how did you expect me to
just show up here like this?”

“
I didn’t,” he admitted.
“Well, at first, but…I tracked Corinne down. She was really
helpful…plus she know how to get her hands on some good shit – am
surprised the connections some of you white girls got, for
real…”

My eyes went a little wide. “What?” I
was so confused. “So you guys are like smoke buddies now? How long
has this been going on?”

He smiled at the expression on my
face. “Not long, baby.”

I let my breath out, my heart rate
just quickening again with the way he was looking at me. “I just…I
can’t believe you did this.”

His smile faded. “I know you, Gabriela.” He traced my
eyebrows with his fingers, still holding my face. “I spent a long
time tellin’ you and tryin’ to convince myself we just going with
the flow, right? Wait an’ see w’happen and whatever
else…well,
fuck
…this is what
happened. I love you.”

I caught my breath. “Took you long
enough,” I whispered.

“
This isn’t easy for me, baby.” He looked so serious. “I
can’t help how I feel about you. I tried really hard. The timing
fucking
sucks
…” He sighed,
still holding my face between his hands, gazing right into my
eyes…into my soul… “I could give you million reasons why I
shouldn’t be in a relationship, Gabriela…and only one reason why I
should.”

I swallowed, my heart sprinting the
hundred-meter dash. “What is that?”

He smiled at that. “You’re not
listening to me, are you? Because I love you,” he whispered so
softly.

I
could feel my eyes welling up.
Third time’s the charm
, I thought to myself…

“
I’m so sorry, baby…” He
bit his lip, staring down at my mouth again, as his thumb ran
across my bottom lip…and then he sighed softly. “Those white boys
are starin’ at us, aren’t they?”

I sucked my breath in and couldn’t
help a little laugh. “I don’t wanna look.” I lifted my hand up
then, running my fingers over his beautiful face. “I been looking
for you for too long, Ben.”

He smiled at that, and then just
kissed me again so tenderly. “Let’s get the fuck outta here,
Gabby.”

Ω

I lay on my side in Ben’s bed and
turned and observed him, as he sat naked, leaning forward in the
lounger against the wall, rolling up an after-sex blunt, his dreads
hanging loose and falling over his shoulders as he focused on his
task. His dark, smooth silhouette seemed to glow in the moonlight
pouring through the bedroom window, like a statue of a Nubian
god.

After he’d gotten out of bed he’d
switched the music on his iPod, and some Jack Johnson started
humming softly out of the speakers on his dresser. His varied taste
in music always surprised and impressed me at the same time. It was
definitely fitting the mood since we’d spent the past hour making
love to Nina Simone’s greatest hits…

I smiled. “I like watching
you.”

He lifted his eyes then and I caught a
glistening glimpse of his tongue as he licked the seal. “You gonna
smoke this with me, baby?” he asked softly. Seductively.

I shook my head slowly.
“No.”

“
Hmm…” He lit up then, and
I watched a billow of smoke encircle him in the afterglow. And then
he leaned back slowly against the back of the padded chair and
reached between his legs with his free hand, pulling up on his cock
slowly as he stared back at me, teasing me silently, and feasting
on my bare breasts through the piercing slits of his narrowed
eyes.

After one more long pull on his joint
he was rock hard and throbbing for me.

I sucked my breath in in approval.
“That’s impressive,” I whispered back.

He smiled at me, ever so slightly.
“You see what you do to me?”

I felt myself squirm, just watching
him stroke it so slowly. “Just keep doing that,” I insisted, in
little more than another whisper.

“
Shit…” He let his breath
out slowly. I could see he was amused with my fascination. He
brought the joint to his lips and took another long pull, his face
disappearing into another cloud of smoke, and my eyes fell back
down to watch his cock swell up and dwarf that big hand of
his.

I shuddered. How the fuck did he know
how to do this to me?

His eyes were assaulting me – piercing
me – as soon as the smoke cleared. “Show me your pussy.” He sounded
dead serious.

I sucked my breath in, as I felt
myself get wet. “No.”

I saw his eyes go wide in the
moonlight. “No?”

“
You don’t deserve to see
my pussy.”