Love Is Overdue (47 page)

I shook my head. “I don’t want to go
home.” I turned to look at him. “I’m sorry for…the things I said
before on the phone – the way I talked to you and…”

“
It’s okay.” Ben cut me off
gently. “You don’t look so good, though. How much you been
drinking?”

I sighed. “I’m fine,” I dismissed it,
then thought for a moment. “So where were you tonight? You said you
were like an hour away…”

“
Maple Ridge,” he said
then. “I just went to check a friend after I put Sophie to bed –
needed someone to talk to.”

“
Oh.” I thought about that.
What about me?
I
wanted to ask, but I didn’t. “Which friend?”

He hesitated, giving me this look that
said he really didn’t want to tell me. “Amira.”

My heart fell immediately.
“What?”

Ben sighed. “Please don’t do this
again, Gabby,” he practically pleaded with me. “She works for CPS –
I needed some advice. I don’t know what the hell am gonna
do.”

“
So when I called you she
was right there?” I was mortified. And starting to get angry – as
irrational as that was. Everything was just too much…

Ben leaned
back against the porch railing. “What do you want me to say?” He
looked at me closely, just staring me down. “I don’t want to fight
with you. And I have to get home too so…it’s late. Let’s just
go.”

Ω

“
I don’t want to go home, Ben.” I said it again as soon as
he pulled the Escalade away from the curb next to Ivan and Angela’s
house. It was now well past midnight. “Can’t I just come stay with
you tonight?”

He didn’t say anything right away. He
stared out at the road in front of him and I tried to read his
expression but it was hard in the darkness. And the silence was
almost deafening.

Then he glanced over at me briefly.
“Let’s just take a drive first.”

I had no idea what he meant – or what
he had in mind – but I just stayed quiet as he headed up East
Hastings towards downtown, crossing back through Chinatown, until
we neared the foot of Gastown and the shipyard on Waterfront Road.
He pulled his car up along the Main Street Dock and in a secluded
spot next to Portside Park he finally parked and cut the
engine.

“
What are we doing here?” I
wondered aloud finally.

He looked over at me finally. “Just
pull your seat up all the way and get in the back.”

My eyes went wide in shock at his
sudden command. I knew he wasn’t in much of a talkative mood, so a
drive had seemed quite puzzling to me, but I had no idea this is
what he had in mind. Even still, I felt my blood rush through me
suddenly and a warm tingle – although hesitant and somewhat fearful
– settle between my legs.

“
You mean…” I didn’t
move.

“
Like this, baby.” And he
reached under his seat and pulled the handle, yanking it forward as
far as he could and then flung open the door and hopped
out.

By the time I’d followed suit and slid
in the back seat with him, he had already unbuckled Sophie’s
booster seat and was tossing it over the back rest and into the
trunk.

“
What are you doing?” I
asked cautiously yet again.

But Ben wasn’t wasting any time. His
hand was already on his buckle, unclasping. The waist of his
boxer-briefs peeked out as they always did. Today they were Calvin,
but they were usually Ralph Lauren or DKNY. His off days were
always Calvin…

“
I want your mouth,
baby.”

He was on his knees next to me, and he
ran the palm of his hand up across his belly then, pushing his
t-shirt up to his chest, showing me those gorgeous flat muscles,
that trail of dark black hair that ran down from his navel and
under the waist of his Calvin’s. The bulge between his legs was
already more than visible.

He slid his thumb over my chin. “I
miss those pretty lips.”

Fuck, he knew just how to get me
going. But this wasn’t like Ben at all. This forward. This pushy.
Commanding. Just pulling me in the back seat and demanding a blow
job? Seriously? Part of me just wanted to tell him to fuck
off…

But then his hand reached inside and
he pulled that gorgeous thick brown cock out – still half-flaccid,
but still so impressively and beautifully huge, I couldn’t help but
suck my breath in in delight as he gently ran the head across my
cheek. He smelled like a mixture of soap, Bounce dryer sheets and a
full day’s worth of confinement and it was intoxicating. My pussy
got wet immediately, realizing Amira hadn’t been anywhere near
it…

“
We’re like three blocks
from the police station…” I whispered, as he teased my lips with
his cock, staring down at me and wetting his lips.

“
These windows are
well-tinted, Gabby.” He grabbed hold of himself and smacked my lips
a few times, stroking himself to his full engorged size within
seconds.

He attacked my throat then, going
deep, and not holding anything back, and I let him take it, moaning
softly as he gagged me over and over again. He groaned loudly as he
filled me, grabbing the back of my head, fucking me with such
force, like his life depended on it. I had never experienced this
rawness from him – if it had been anyone else, and not the man that
I knew and loved and ached so badly for in every single way, I
would have felt cheap. Used. An object of his selfish
desires.

But I didn’t care. This was Ben. I
would give him whatever he wanted.

“
Oh fuck, baby…” I gasped
as I pulled back, needing to catch my breath. My jaw and my lips
were in a numbing, aching pain. My pussy was so wet, I felt my
panties sticking to me, suffocating me. I needed release so badly,
I was practically swimming in my own juices. “You make me so wet,”
I whispered, wanting him to take my implied cue, willing him to
touch me with my eyes, as they practically pleaded with
him.

Ben groaned again, as he pulled his
slick wet throbbing cock from my mouth, squeezing the head between
his fingers, and teasing me with a drop of semen on the tip of my
tongue. “You want me to fuck that wet pussy, Gabby?” he growled at
me in barely more than a whisper. But it hit every sense in my
body.

“
Yes,” I gasped
desperately.

“
Get on your back,” he
ordered me then. “And put your leg up here,” he added, slapping the
back rest.

I did as he asked, my dress bunching
up around my waist as Ben quickly slipped his jeans off and
straddled my one thigh, pushing my other leg further up in the air.
He didn’t bother to pull my panties off – he just tugged the strip
of material to the side roughly with his fingers. He spread my lips
apart, staring down at me hungrily, and pushed two fingers inside
my dripping cunt. I groaned at the sensation. But as he slid them
in and out a few times, slipping deep inside the slick wet flesh,
he still didn’t seem satisfied, so he leaned over and spit on my
pussy – not once, but twice – and I shuddered in waiting agony, as
his fingers went back to work between my legs, then stroking and
wetting up his cock with our mixture of juices, preparing himself
for my pussy.

He held the base of his cock and began
just teasing me with it, rubbing the head up over my clit and back
down again, the sensations just pulsing through me, attacking me so
deeply, and pulling me into such a hypnotic trance.

And then his cock slid deep inside me
and he let out a low groan from the back of his throat. “Fuck…” He
grabbed onto my leg to steady himself and stared down at where our
bodies joined in that slippery, wet pool of pleasure, that was just
pulsating between us so steadily. He just kept watching my pussy,
his cock – his eyes not veering from that spot. He began to fuck me
harder – deeper. I was moaning, his depth and size pushing me to
the precipice of my threshold of pain again and again and
again.

I
grabbed my aching breasts and squeezed. They were still trapped
uncomfortably under my bra and my dress and I tugged at them,
trying to free them again and again – staring back at Ben, silently
pleading and begging for him to come suck them, to come kiss me,
touch me – hell, even just look at me.
Look at me, baby…

“
Fuck…Ben…please…” I
moaned, my voice trailing off, as he just kept fucking me – in,
out, in, out – attacking my insides, ravaging me, his eyes still
glued to that one spot.

And then, without warning, I just felt
his body tense. He sucked his breath in and just let out this deep,
almost animalistic groan and he grabbed his cock so smoothly,
pulled out in a mere second, and I watched as he emptied himself
onto my belly, his eyes suddenly shutting – a brief look of almost
pain as it crossed his face, and then vanishing just as
quickly.

And then it was over.

I didn’t move. I couldn’t. My body was
still on fire – still needing release – still aching for him. And
he was finished? I was shocked. I couldn’t move.

Ben didn’t say anything. Eventually he
just eased my leg down slowly and fell down onto the seat beside
me, running his fingers back through his dreads, letting his breath
out slowly.

I grabbed the hem of my dress and
pulled it back down over my legs quickly. The entire scene suddenly
replayed in my mind in a whole new light. And everything about it
suddenly felt wrong – really wrong. If I hadn’t been there to see
it with my own eyes, I would have never believed it had actually
happened. Not Ben…

I
sat up next to him, adjusting my panties awkwardly, the wetness on
my belly sticking to the fabric of my dress. I would have to
remember to spot clean it as soon as I got home. It was dry-clean
only…
Fuck…

“
What the hell was that?” I
demanded suddenly, Ben still not speaking.

He glanced at me then. “What is it
now, Gabby?” He actually looked annoyed. “I have a lot on my mind
and all you seem to wanna do is pick fights with me. What the fuck
is your problem?”

My jaw dropped. The contempt in his
voice sent a chill up my spine. “I’m not picking a fight with you,
Ben, but when you go and park your car and force me into the back
seat and use me and fuck me like some cheap ass ten-dollar whore, I
think you owe me a bit of an explanation!”

Ben’s eyes went wide at that but then
he just sucked his teeth. “I cyan deal wit your shit right now,
girl,” he said, pulling his jeans on quickly. “And you wonder why I
can’t tell you anything…fuck…” He couldn’t have gotten dressed
quickly enough, I noted as I watched him, still too stunned to make
any sense of what was happening…

We drove in silence. I didn’t say
another word and neither did he. And I knew then that he never had
any intention of having me come spend the night with him. Fucking
me on the side of the road had been my consolation prize, his way
of letting me down easy…

And so as he pulled up in front of my
apartment to drop me off, it didn’t come as any surprise to me. I
grabbed my handbag but stopped short before opening the door to get
out. I glanced over at Ben, but his eyes were just staring out the
front windshield.

I took a deep breath, as I fought back
the tears threatening to fall. “Whatever you do, Ben…keep Sophie
safe. If that means cutting off Maria completely then so be it. I
can only imagine how things might have been different for me if my
dad came to save me back then.” I kept my voice as steady as I
could but looked straight ahead. I saw Ben glance over at me then
out of the corner of my eye. “She’s seen enough. Don’t let her see
any more.”

I flung the car door open and left
without another word.

Chapter
Twenty-Two

Three weeks. It was the amount of time
that could go by in the blink of an eye or drag on in an eternal
time warp, depending on the situation. When Ben and I had first
met, three weeks seemed to pass by in a blissful fog – being with
him seemed to stop time and make it pass by in a heartbeat all in
the same breath. The three weeks that had passed since he’d broken
up with me, on the other hand, was just an endless continuum of
pain, hurt, and an unbearable sadness that I had never felt
before.

The truth was, I had never had any
real boyfriends – any real relationships that went beyond just
passing flings or casual sex buddies. I had never had any problems
meeting men that wanted to fuck me and in its own small way it gave
me a sense of validation – that I was attractive, I had sex appeal,
I could turn a man on and keep him coming back for more – at least
for a while. But what Ben had given me went beyond any other
relationship I had ever known. He had pulled me into his world, and
allowed me to pull him into mine. I had felt a connection and a
closeness and a need for him that was so strong and so deep – and
it went so far beyond the sex, although the physical void that he
had left me with was an agonizing pain all on its own.

The actual break-up didn’t happen in
the car the night he’d fucked me in the backseat near the
shipyards. It happened two days later, although we hadn’t spoken in
between then either. He hadn’t called or texted and I refused to
give in either. What he had done had hurt me – and I wasn’t ready
to let it go that easily – but I did realize the stress he was
under. By the next day, when the reality of what Ben had been
enduring and dealing with, all in the span of the past 24 hours,
really hit me – I couldn’t hold his actions against him anymore.
But I still wasn’t ready to call.