Love Is Overdue (43 page)

Chapter Twenty

“
Okay, so I’m
confused.”

I’d met Tony for a coffee over my
lunch break, but the sun had evaded us and it was pouring rain, so
we took a seat by the window inside JJ Bean, and made ourselves
comfortable.

“
So am I,” I admitted,
taking a little sip of my double shot of espresso. My caffeine
intake had been increasing steadily over the past month.

“
So you told him you love
him and he said what?” Tony liked repeating information over and
over again before he dished out any advice.

“
Nothing.”

“
He didn’t say it
back.”

“
No.”

“
And then what
happened?”

“
He just kissed
me.”

Tony groaned. “Fuck, that’s a hard
one, Gabby…”

I sighed. “I know.”

“
I mean…” The look on
Tony’s face showed the wheels were beginning to turn. “On the one
hand, maybe that was his way of saying it back…maybe he thought
you’d appreciate that more or something…but more likely he was just
tryin’ to shut you up and change the subject.”

I shook my head slowly and stared out
the window. “I should have never said it, I mean, it’s too soon, I
just…I don’t know…” My voice trailed off as the memory of that
moment outside of Ben’s restaurant kept replaying itself over and
over again in my head. “It hasn’t even been three months
yet.”

Tony gave me a look. “Haven’t you ever
heard of love at first sight?”

I
rolled my eyes. “That’s a load of crap, Tony. I believe in
lust
at first sight. I believe in wanting to rip someone’s
clothes off at first sight… but
love
? Come on…actually
I probably don’t even know what love is, but with Ben, it’s
like…it’s the only way I can describe how I feel, it’s all I can
think about when I’m with him, Tony…I’ve never felt this
way…
ever
.”

Tony sighed. “Of course you
haven’t…you can’t fall in love with a bunch a douchebags that treat
you like a pile a garbage…although I was startin’ to
worry.”

“
Thanks, Tony,” I replied dryly. “But I mean…” My voice
trailed off then, my mind wandering again. “I almost think feeling
the way I do wouldn’t even be possible if he didn’t also feel it –
I mean, the way he looks at me, Tony, the way he listens to me and
puts up with all my weirdness and this whole thing with my mom
and…
fuck
…I mean, look at him…and look at me. I
mean
really
.”

Tony sucked his teeth at that. “You
need to stop saying that shit. If anything, that right there is
what gonna make you lose him…for real, Gabby.”

“
What?” I was
confused.

“
You!” He waved his hand at
me dramatically. “Talkin’ like you’re not good enough for him – a
guy only gonna listen to that crap for so long before he starts
believin’ it himself.” He stared me down for a minute. “Anyway, I’m
sick of talkin’ about your love-life, it’s getting old. We only got
forty-five minutes, remember?”

I forced a smile. “I’m sorry,
Tony.”

And then Ben’s name popped up on my
phone along with Gregory Isaacs’ “Love Is Overdue” – the personal
ring tone I had assigned to him.

I snatched it up quickly.
“Hello?”

“
Hey, Gabby, whassup?” His
tone was casual, even though I could hear the noise from the
kitchen loudly in the background.

“
I’m good, just havin’
lunch with Tony,” I said.

“
Awright, cool, I’ll let
you go. Come check me before you go home today, okay?” he said
then.

I smiled and just ignored Tony, who
was already making faces at me. “Okay, I will.”

“
Later.”

I clicked my phone off and
sighed.

“
Did you seriously make
that his ringtone?” Tony wanted to know.

“
Yeah, why?”

“
You’re kinda pushin’ it a
bit, aren’t you?”

“
Not really. I mean, it’s
not like he ever hears my phone ring when he calls me,” I pointed
out. “Well, except for the other day. I couldn’t find my phone and
I was just tearing up my bedroom looking for it and so he insisted
on calling me so I could find it. It was pretty fucking
embarrassing, we had to listen to the chorus like four times – and
he just kept lookin’ at me all weird – until I found it stuffed
inside my pillowcase.” I shuddered at the memory.

Tony just
groaned and shook his head. “You need help.”

Ω

Ben joined me on the bench outside the
back door of the restaurant just after 5 o’clock. “Whassup,
beautiful…”

He had
approached me from behind and I nearly jumped, but smiled back at
him as he sat down next to me. “Not much…gonna get wet tryin’ to
get home, though,” I sighed, staring out at the rain that was still
pouring down steadily. The awning that jutted out from the building
above our heads only protected us by a few feet or so.

“
You’ll live.”

I gave him a little look. “So what
time you gettin’ outta here?” I cut to the chase, since I needed to
get home. Now that Ben was paying me these late night visits my
efficiency at home and with my mother had improved. I was running
on adrenaline.

He reached out and took my hand
casually. “That’s why I wanted to see you,” he explained. “I can’t
come tonight.”

My heart sank immediately. “Why
not?”

“
Maria called me this
morning. She asked me to take Sophie tonight,” he explained. “I had
to go pick her up after school and now Sally is watchin’ her for a
few hours but I’ll probably take off here early…”

“
That’s kinda weird,” I
admitted. “For her anyway. Is she sick? Is it the baby?”

“
Maria? I don’t know. I
didn’t really get into it.”

I sighed, the disappointment far too
evident on my face.

Ben glanced over and smiled at me
though and then pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll make it
up to you. Don’t worry.”

I nodded. “I know.”

He was playing with my fingers –
stroking them one by one. “I’ll call you later,” he promised, and
then pulled my hand up to his lips, kissing each one of my fingers
quickly, teasing me. I loved it when he did that…

“
Gotta go.” He planted a
quick little kiss on my forehead and then he was gone.

Ω

“
Did I ever tell you about the time your father won
1000
reals
in a cock-fight and took me to
Carnival?”

My mother was reminiscing again that
evening, while I was trying to watch a movie.

I sighed,
grabbing the remote and hitting pause. “Yes, Mama. And then he
claimed to have lost you in the crowd, so instead he went on a
bender and blew all his money on booze and strippers, and you had
to hitch-hike back to Sao Paulo, which is how you met Raoul. I know
the story.” I waited for a moment to see if she would continue and
when she didn’t I hit play.

“
I always wondered what
would have happened if I had just waited in the square for him to
return that night…”

I rolled my eyes and hit pause
again.

“
I was very hot-tempered in
those days, Gabriela.”

“
You don’t say.”

“
Why don’t you get out the
board? Let’s play a game before bed.”

“
I don’t feel like Scrabble
tonight, Mama, I’m watching this.” I could feel my patience
wearing. I was still pretty bummed about Ben not coming over. I was
now just biding my time until he called me.

“
You know, your father was
a gambler and a drinker but he never beat me.” She obviously wasn’t
through yet.

I glanced over at her then and set the
remote down, defeated.

“
We all make our choices in
life, I suppose.”

I sighed, finally realizing how true
that was.

My mother was eyeing me. “You look
stressed, Gabriela. Is it Ben?”

“
No,” I shot back, getting
defensive. “Not all men are the cause of every woman’s
problems.”

She laughed at that. “If you say
so.”

I stared back at her. “You know, Mama,
I don’t understand it, I really don’t. You always kept telling me
how much you wanted me to find someone that really cares and loves
me and treats me right and gives me all the things you never had,
but now – when I finally think I may have found the one – all you
do is talk shit about him and try to convince me he isn’t right for
me. Why?”

My mother just shook her head slowly,
staring back at me. “I have nothing against Ben. He seems like a
very good man, Gabriela, but you need to be realistic. Do you
really think you can hold onto a man like that? With his money and
his looks and his intelligence? I just don’t want to see you get
hurt…you’re my daughter, Gabriela. You’re the most important person
in the world to me.”

I could feel the bile of my anger just
rise into the back of my throat. “How dare you.”

“
Gabriela!” My mother
stared back at me in shock.

“
You don’t think anything
of me, Mama.” My voice was barely a whisper. I knew if I tried to
speak any louder I would begin to scream at the top of my lungs.
“You never have.”

“
How can you say
that?”

“
Because it’s the
truth.”

“
Gabriela, I’m just trying
to protect you – that’s all I have ever tried to do!”

“
Bullshit.”

My mother just shook her head at me.
“You are as stubborn as a mule – just like my sister Raissa. Do you
know that she actually thought she could be a burlesque dancer? She
convinced the owner of the cabaret in town to let her perform –
just one night – and she was laughed off the stage! Do you know how
humiliating that was for her? I know – I have told you the story
many times…”

“
Yes, Mama. Many times,” I
agreed with her. “And where is Raissa now, Mama?” I spoke slowly,
finally looking up to meet her eyes. “She married a doctor and
moved to Rio. She spends her days sunbathing on the beach and
vacations in the south of France… And where, may I ask, are you?” I
fixed my eyes to hers and watched her face crumble in
pain.

I didn’t care. She fucking deserved
it.

My phone was ringing and it knocked me
back into reality. I glanced at the display but I didn’t recognize
the number. I stood up and bolted from the living room then,
clicking my phone on only once I was half way down the
hallway.

“
Hello.”

“
Hi there...I’m looking to
speak with a Gabriela Pereira – did I pronounce that
correctly?”

“
Speaking.” I pulled out
one of the kitchen chairs and collapsed down among the dirty dinner
plates that I still hadn’t cleared away.

“
My name is Courtney, I’m
calling from Care One In-Home Respite Services. I understand you
had filled out an application for over-night respite care for your
mother Ana…”

My ears immediately perked up.
“Yes…yes, that’s right.”

“
Well, we’ve reviewed your application and we’re now able to
provide you two nights a week starting this Tuesday – oh wow, I
guess that’s tomorrow night…”

I caught my breath. “Oh my god, are
you serious?”

The rest of the conversation became a
blur. All I felt was a rush of relief…and the exciting thrill of
falling asleep in Ben’s bed in less than 24 hours…

Ω

I awoke with
a start and glanced at my clock-radio. It was after 1 am. Groggily,
I reached for my phone lying on the night stand and checked the
display. No missed calls. I felt a knot in my throat – an
uneasiness that just wasn’t sitting right with me.

After I had hung up with the respite
agency I had sent Ben a text almost immediately.

baby…>

His reply came about five minutes later.
later>

And now this. Nearly five hours had passed and nothing. No
other text. No c
all.
Nothing.
It took me another hour to fall back
asleep.

Ω

Ben’s
Escalade wasn’t in his parking stall the next morning – even by
10:30. I sat at my desk in the office, unable to think about
anything else. This was so fucking stupid. I pulled out my
phone.

Send.

My phone buzzed a few minutes later.
going on>

I stared at the display in complete
confusion. What the hell was going on with him? Ben not coming in
to work?

Send.

Again minutes passed before I got a
reply
. this now. We’ll talk later>