Love Is Overdue (42 page)

He pulled back slowly. “Let’s go to
bed.”

I drew the covers back then and
climbed in while I watched Ben undress slowly, taking his time,
emptying his pockets of a ridiculous amount of crap – his phone,
his keys, his wallet, a chain of about four or five condoms – and
tossing everything down onto the night table. Ben and I definitely
lacked diligence when it came to condoms but to his credit, he made
more effort than I did.

“
Oh, I thought we weren’t
fucking,” I teased him, eyeing the condoms, as he pulled his
t-shirt up over his head and began working on his belt.

He sucked his teeth at that. “We never
use these anyway…it just makes me feel better knowin’ that I try,”
he said with a little laugh, pulling off his jeans and his boxer
briefs while I just kept staring. He pulled the covers back and
climbed in next to me.

I laughed softly. “If you say so…” My
voice trailed off, though, as Ben’s naked body pushed up against
mine.

“
It wasn’t so bad, you
know,” he said softly, running his palm across my hip, dipping into
the small of my back.

“
What?” I wanted to
know.

‘
Me…coming here,” he said
simply.

I thought for a moment and then just
sighed. “She’s not herself, Ben…it’s like…the shit that comes out
of her mouth, lately, I just…” My voice trailed off.

Ben propped his head up on his hand,
keeping his eyes on me, but he didn’t say anything right
away.

I hadn’t ever told Ben what Laz had
told me the night he arrived…I hadn’t told anyone. And even though
I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and the memory of that day so
many years ago had come flooding back to me – drowning me,
assaulting me, suffocating me – with such vividness, I still
couldn’t face it. I wasn’t sure if I ever could…

Ben’s hand kept stroking me gently.
“Nobody can control the shit that comes out of anyone’s mouth,
Gabby,” he said finally. “That’s what makes life so
interesting…”

I rolled my eyes but laughed softly.
“You’re funny.”

“
Well, it’s true. I
sometimes wonder about the shit that comes out of your mouth, too…”
His voice was soft…teasing me…

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I
see.”

He smiled. “Maybe that’s what keeps me
comin’ back for more.”

I
sucked my breath in at the thought. “It was weird…she never had
much of a filter, even when I was little,” I said softly, Ben’s
body just warming me from the inside out. “Like when I got my
period…I was still so young, only eleven, and her whole
conversation with me about the whole thing, when I think back on it
– was just one giant inappropriate nightmare. Her first concern was
that now that I was a woman, losing the weight would be that much
harder – I guess she thought puberty would have just taken care of
all the baby fat on its own…” I sighed, remembering. “And then she
just kept insisting that I start using tampons right away. I kept
telling her I didn’t feel comfortable shoving anything up there – I
wasn’t ready, you know – but she said it was important that I…how
did she put it…
prepare
myself. At first I didn’t know what
the hell she was talking about…I mean, I was eleven fucking years
old...but she kept insisting, she said if I didn’t prepare myself
properly, when a man shoves it in the first time, I’ll never be
able to get over the pain.” I thought for a moment, still trying to
wrap my head around the memory. “It scared the fucking shit out of
me, Ben. The more I think about it now, I wonder sometimes
how
magical
that first time had actually been for
her…”

Ben’s smile had faded slowly as he
kept watching me and listening to me, and then he just brought his
hand to my face, tracing my eyebrow lightly with the tips of his
fingers. I tried to read the expression on his face but I couldn’t.
He’d been looking at me like that a lot lately, though, almost like
he wanted to say something but was stopping
himself...deliberately.

“
What?” I asked
softly.

“
I didn’t say
anything.”

“
Oh…so you just want to lie
here and stare at me?”

He let his breath out slowly.
“Maybe…you’re easy on my eyes.”

I smiled at that. “No…I think you want
to say something.”

“
Yeah?” He paused, still
watching me. “What do I wanna say, Gabriela?”

“
I can’t read your
mind.”

He smiled at that. “That’s good. You
don’t want to read my mind.”

I raised my eyebrows quizzically.
“That’s upsetting,” I admitted.

He kept watching me like that for a
few more moments and then just pulled me closer. “Come here…” He
started kissing me again and I lost myself in it for a while, as I
always did, but then pulled back.

“
You’re acting weird.” I
had to say it.

“
No…you’re just paranoid,”
he whispered, as I felt his hand reach down between my
legs.

I sucked my breath in as his finger
slid across my clit. “No…Ben…for real…” My voice broke as he
slipped a finger inside me. I was so wet already. My body and my
head were not cooperating. “Stop distracting me…”

He met my eyes again. “You want me to
stop?” he whispered, his fingers beginning to slowly pick up the
pace, finding the perfect rhythm.

I squirmed slightly, moaning softly as
I felt the pleasure building, more so by how he was looking at me –
as he always did – than anything else.

“
Shit…” I let my breath
out. “Yes, I want you to stop.”

“
Hmm…” He sighed, sliding
his finger out slowly, cupping my pussy in the palm of his hand.
“You want me to use my mouth?” He stared back at me, his expression
unchanged – not looking at all bothered by my pathetic
protest.

“
Ben…please…” I was losing
this battle fairly quickly.

“
Yes or no?”

I bit my lip as he massaged me slowly
with the palm of his hand…squeezing ever so gently. “Yes,
but…”

He sucked his teeth softly in that
sexy way of his. “Stop it,” he snapped at me, looking dead serious.
“Yes or no?”

I sucked my breath in again, as I felt
my whole body convulse in pleasure. “Oh fuck…” I moaned, my head
still stupidly trying to fight him, but there was never any point
to that and I knew it. My body didn’t know how to say no to him and
probably never would.

“
Yes…” I gasped, my voice a
faint whisper. He knew how to shut me up when he wanted
to.

I saw the flicker of a smile on his
lips but it disappeared just as quickly. He lifted himself up on
his two hands then, resting his palms on the mattress on either
side of me, still staring down at me. “You gonna be quiet, right?”
He stressed it again.

Fuck, he was so goddamn demanding, it
made me sick with passion.

“
Yes,” I repeated again,
getting impatient. I’d flipped a total 180 in less than twenty
seconds…

“
Mmm…” He licked his lips
then. “Good, baby…” he whispered as his eyes finally dropped and
his tongue trailed down between my breasts.

I closed my eyes and held my breath
then as his face kept moving lower, teasing me, taking his sweet
time and making me squirm.

“
Shhh…” I felt his breath
then as it teased my dripping wet pussy, his mouth just hovering
over my clit, causing me to arch my back, so desperate for his
mouth, those lips…that expert tongue… “Stay still, don’t move,” he
ordered me as he blew lightly on my clit, the cool air sending
another rippling wave of pleasure through my whole body.

“
Fuck, Ben, don’t tease me
like that,” I groaned out of desperation, then quickly bit my
lip.

“
Keep your fucking voice
down, baby, am not playin’…”

Oh
shit
… And so I just
held my breath again, waiting, until finally I felt the heat of his
tongue just seep through me and fill me and just warm me from the
inside out. I felt my toes curl and my fingernails dig into my bed
sheets.

“
Ohhh…fuck, baby…” I
contained my voice to a whisper. “Yes, just like that….Ben, just
like that…”

His tongue sped up then without
warning, and I felt everything inside me convulse. I groaned again
and bit my lip quickly to shut myself up, but he pulled back
immediately anyway, showing me absolutely no mercy.

“
Fuck, you don’t listen, do
you?” he scolded me harshly in that deep seductive voice of
his.

“
Please don’t stop,” I
begged, pulling my voice back to a whisper. “I’m sorry,
baby…please…” I panted. “It feels too good…”

“
Hmm…” He waited, though,
as if he was contemplating whether or not I deserved another
chance. I felt him slide two fingers deep inside me then and I
gasped, but bit my lip before I cried out, and so his tongue went
back to work again, the intense warming pleasure building up again
so deeply.

“
Yesss…” I could feel it
again everywhere as the sensation began to spread. “Baby, I’m gonna
come…” I was panting, as Ben’s mouth kept up the steady, hypnotic
rhythm, giving me exactly what I needed.

But then, without warning, my voice
escaped me and I felt my whole body seize up in panic. This time
Ben didn’t ease up on me, though, and so I grabbed my pillow
quickly – suddenly – pressing it hard into my face as I shook,
trembled and came so hard, moaning so deeply, not giving a fuck
anymore…

And so, as I recovered, I kept that
pillow firmly pressed against my face, moaning and shuddering, even
as I felt Ben’s lips trailing softly back up my body. I gasped as I
felt his mouth latch onto my nipple and suckle me gently. I groaned
again…

A moment later Ben pulled the pillow
from my face, laughing softly. “You’re so fucking crazy…” He teased
me in a whisper.

I let my breath out deeply as I stared
back at him in total frustration. “Yeah, and you’re an asshole,” I
shot back, only half-joking.

He sucked his teeth at that, though,
his smile fading slightly. “Nah…you don’t mean that.” He didn’t buy
it for a second.

I sighed, just staring back at him. I
loved him so much it was all I could think about. It was right
there again…on the tip of my tongue…

“
Ben…”

His hand moved back down between us
then, just spreading my thighs apart…and just like that I felt him
enter me, filling me up, as he lowered his face down to mine,
pushing up on the palms of his hands.

“
Yes, baby…”

I moaned softly. “That feels so good,”
I whispered instead.

He kissed me so deeply, drowning me
with his mouth…his tongue…and eventually I felt his face pull back.
I gasped and caught my breath. He was still going so slow, just
watching me. He lifted my arm up over my head to give himself room
to rest his weight on his elbow, and ran his other hand back down
my face again, making me shiver. It was hard to look him in the
eye. It was too much…too intense…and I just didn’t trust myself
anymore.

“
You’re so beautiful,
Gabriela.” He whispered it so softly.

I met his gaze then. “Oh…” I didn’t
know what to say. The only thing I wanted to say as I stared back
up at him was the one thing I kept forcing myself not
to…

He smiled, sucking his breath in as he
pushed in a little deeper…a little harder. “Could just watch you
like this all night…you got that face, y’know…” His expression
turned serious again.

“
What face?” I wanted to
know.

He bit his lip then, as I felt a wave
of pleasure rush through him. I could sense it. “Fuck…” He groaned
softly. “The kinda face you can pick outta a crowded room…like the
only thing you can see…you know that kinda face, right?” His voice
was so soft. Dead serious. He ran his finger across my
lip.

I just nodded. I couldn’t
speak.

It made Ben smile again, those eyes of
his just piercing through me. “Hmm…w’happen, baby? I fuck the voice
right outta you, huh?” he teased me in a whisper, as I felt his
cock slide in and out so slowly…but going deep, making sure I felt
every inch…

I let my breath out as I stared up at
him.

“
This isn’t fucking, Ben…”
My voice was so soft but I knew he heard me. And I like to think he
knew what I meant.

His eyes stayed glued to mine but he
didn’t say anything to that. Instead he just slowly brought his
hand up to my face, running his fingers down my cheek, tipping my
head to the side so I had to look away. And then I just gasped
softly as his mouth, lips and tongue began trailing tender kisses
from the corner of my eye, down over my cheek bone to my ear, my
jaw, my throat...going so slowly…taking his time as I trembled
under the heat of his body, his hands and his mouth…savouring every
touch…

I had read a lot of books and I’d
watched a lot of movies…but I’d never in my life known what the
fuck they were talking about… That night Ben fucked the shit out of
me while I again resorted to gagging myself with my pillow…but
before he did, he made love to me. And it was the most amazing
feeling I’d ever known.