Love Locked Down (7 page)

* * * *

“ T
errence please don't bring that up. That was unreasonable of you to ask of me. I needed someone to talk too.”

“ Dana, our business is between us from now on. No one else. That even includes my sister. I know that's your friend as well as my sister but I do a lot for Tamera...
a lot
. I've totally paid for her tuition so she has a good start in life. Once she gets her degree the rest of it is up to her. There wont be any loans or borrowing none of that. I'm actually glad she met you because before you two met she'd changed her major twice. All wasted classes paid for by me.” I said frowning. “ All I'm saying is when I'm out it's just us two.”

Dana and I spent the remainder of the weekend in what was in every sense of the word our own personal bubble. The phone calls from the guards came as expected so that I could check in, and at ten on the dot they were knocking on the door to actually see me but otherwise we were left alone to enjoy each others company. To talk and get to know each other beyond the two hour visits that had steadily become a part of our routine the past six months.

* * * *

I
n a weekends time, I felt like I was getting to know Terrence in ways I never had. Even having the liberty to just touch him made me feel closer to him. To hold his hands and kiss him were memories I'd carry with me until he was released. Just like I had refused to have our first kiss be on display in front of people who could care less about me...about
us
. We held back on completely sealing the deal as far as sex. Yes we had slipped a little the first day with the whole shower episode,hell who am I kidding? Terrence and I teased each other sexually the entire weekend. But we'd stopped ourselves before we went over the edge. I wanted him so bad I was angry with him for not giving in to me, but now I was glad he'd stuck to our original plan. Terrence insisted our first time being intimate would be in our own home and not behind the walls of Sampson State Penitentiary. I was a little shocked by that. Granted I was nervous as hell about anything happening between us, I thought for sure he'd want to. I mean what man wouldn't want sex after being locked up almost two years? I wouldn't say my little Victorias Secret stash went to waste. Terrence controlled himself but he was damn sure looking. When Sunday came we were both quiet,each of us hating to be apart now that we'd finally had the opportunity to be around each other.

I moved about the room packing up all the items I'd brought with me to make it a comfortable visit for us. I was trying to stay strong for Terrence and not break down crying but when he walked out of the bathroom in his orange prison jumpsuit I broke down. When I'd walked into this room Friday morning I had no idea that my relationship with Terrence would change so much in three days. I walked into this shabby room unsure of my feelings of the man I'd come to know through phone conversations and short Saturday visits and I was leaving completely in love.

I wanted my husband out of here in the worst way. Now that I'd gotten to be around him it was hard to imagine myself leaving without him. I was back to square one. Saturday visits with hundreds of other inmates. I didn't intend on breaking down into a pool of tears in front of Terrence but I couldn't help it.

“ I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next couple months Terrence. I don't regret this weekend but I feel like it would have been easier if I hadn't been with you like this. How do I go back to not being able touch you when I want. Have dinner with you, sleep next to you?” I asked between sobs.

“ Dana this will all be over in a less than four months just hold on a little bit longer. It could be less than that,my lawyer said there's a good chance I'll make early parole.”

* * * *

I
sat in my cell waiting to be escorted out of Samson State Penitentiary for good. True to his word,my lawyer had gotten three months shaved off my sentence for good behavior. It had been so touch and go, I hadn't even told anyone I was being released today. It was the way I wanted it. I didn't want anyone picking me up looking at me or just being in my space. I needed a few hours to just be alone after damn near two years of no privacy. I planned on taking a cab into the city to my place,taking a nice hot shower,shaving ordering a meal of my choice,then I was going to see my sister...and my wife.

“ Terrence man can you do me a favor?”

“ Depends on what the favor is man,I'm not doing anything that gets me in any trouble or around someone I don't want to be around.”

“ Man I just need you to check on my baby mama for me. Cherise ain’t visited in damn near a month. I ain’t got no money on my books either. Can you call this number and see what's up? Tell her to get at me.” Marquise his soon to be former cellmate asked.

“ I'll call once but that's it, I can't take up too much time calling your baby mama. Man you been in here a minute you may need to realize she may be tired. Every woman ain't built for this. I'll tell you what I can do to help you out. I'ma see about putting a couple months on the books for you . At least that's one less thing you have to worry about in here. I'll get you set up for the next four months. Hopefully you'll have some answers by then. Another thing,if you want some legit work when you get out,come holla at me. I got you.” I said standing to look around my cell impatiently.

“ Nigga you already know I'ma get at you. This my first and last time up in this muthafucka. Man you sure about leaving me this stuff?”

Marquise’s eyes were wide looking at the virtual goldmine I was leaving behind.

“ Yeah man I don't need none of it. I'm walking out with the clothes on my back. If any of this stuff makes your time here more comfortable you're welcome to it.” I said stepping over to the cell door and looking at the clock.
Right on time
, I thought smiling watching the guards walking towards my cell.

“ Let's go Hill!” the guard barked.

“ Take care man. I'll make that call for you and hook your books up.”

“ Be easy man.” Marquise said wishing like hell it was him walking out of those penitentiary doors. His time was coming though. Six more months and he planned to be out just like Hill.

* * * *

“ M
r. Hill! It's good to see you.”

“It's even better to see you.” I said greeting my doorman James as I walked into the  building. Damn it was good to be out. I never thought I'd miss the smell of the city but damn it felt good to just breathe any air other than the stale contained prison air I'd grown used to. Even the smell of smog was a welcome scent. No time limits but my own, no one looking over my shoulder or having to watch my back. When I walked through the doors of my home it was if I'd never left. I'd had my lawyer hire a cleaning lady last week to come through and clean the place up and stock the refrigerator for me. I headed straight for the shower and stripped out of the clothes I'd worn home. They were going straight into the garbage. I took a long relaxing shower. By the time I was done I felt like I'd damn near washed the last two years of my life away,minus the one good thing that had come of it. My wife.

Speaking of my wife, I guess I need to let her know I'm out.
I think I'll just go up to the school and call her and Tamera once I get to the campus.
I thought about calling my mom but decided to check with Tamera first to see what was going on with her lately. Better to know ahead of time when dealing with my mama.

Shit. It's early so let me make this phone call to my parole officer,I
thought picking up my cell phone and placing the call to the one thing tying me to the negativity of the last two years. After checking in and scheduling my appointment, I headed to my favorite barber shop and then to Parsons School of Design.

* * * *

“ T
here's something about this design that's just driving me crazy Tamera! Something about it is just off to me...maybe it's the hemline?” I said looking over my sketch book.

“ Girl you're crazy. The dress is gorgeous just the way it is. Matter of fact I want you to make it for me. I wanna be the first one rocking it bitch!” Tamera said taking a bite of her sandwich. “So there's a party tonight over on 134
^th
. Toya and Maria are throwing it at their place you did tell them you were going right?”

“ Yeah, I did say I was going. I'm not leaving the house until after I talk to Terrence though. But he usually calls around seven so it's no big deal. I'll have to find something to wear though. It's just a casual get together right?” I asked taking a bite of my Cobb salad.

“ Yep. Just throw on something casual. We haven't been out in months. We need to get loose!  You been so involved in this flim-flam of a marriage with my brother, you don't even hang out no more.” Tamera said rolling her eyes at me as she took another bite of her sandwich. I wanted to slap that fuckin' sandwich out of her goddamn hands. What the hell did she mean “flim-flam”? That's my husband. My marriage. And wasn't a damn thing “ flim-flam” about it.

“Tamera you
know
why I haven't been out in months. It’s because I'm married....to your brother!”

“ So? I mean that's more like an arrangement more than it is a marriage. It's my brother but it ain't like he's in love with your ass. He helped you out when you were in a bind. My brother just wanted to make sure you didn't make out with his money before you paid him I'm sure. Terrence is no fool. Even though he's my brother he is locked up. Surely you’re not  going to lock yourself away for a marriage certificate that's no more than a technicality? I'm pretty sure my brother doesn't expect you to do that Dana.”

I sat there shocked. Outside of Janay, we were as close as friends could be. Surely Tamera didn't think I was going to marry someone...her brother none the less, and go out and what? Date other men? Sleep with other men? I had more respect for what Terrence and I were trying to build whether Tamera knew about it or not. Even though I kept my business with Terrence to myself,it still hurt me to hear Tamera talk about her brother that way. As if she didn't care about his feelings or have his back fully while he was locked down.

I prayed I was just overreacting but lately some of the comments Tamera made really had me feeling some type of way. The comments flying out of her mouth were rude as hell. Unbeknownst to Tamera, the only reason I wasn't checking her left and right was because she was my sister-in-law ! This bitch didn't even realize the only reason we hadn't damn near come to blows as of late was because of my according to her “ flim-flam” of a marriage.

Yes we'd been the best of friends the last two years but it had been smooth sailing between us. We'd never had so much as an argument. I honestly didn't know how much longer that would last. Then this ex- boyfriend of hers just recently stepped on the scene...Cordell something or other. The nigga gave me the creeps every time I ran into him over at Tamera's place. Needless to say my visits to her house have become less frequent.

When Terrence and I agreed on the terms of our marriage, it was never discussed between us that it would be on paper only. I knew for a fact that I didn't feel that way about Terrence. My feelings for him had grown in ways I could never have imagined given our circumstances. Maybe I'd done our relationship a disservice by not disclosing to Tamera exactly how much I cared for Terrence. By no means was this a simple marriage of convenience for me. Regardless of the fact it began with my needing his help financially.

“ I mean you don't even wear a wedding ring! It's not like anyone knows you're married so have fun. Terrence will understand. Girl when he get out in a few months he's going to be doing him! You better make sure your ass is doing YOU!” Tamera said oblivious to how the callous words coming out of her mouth were hurting me.

“ Tamera I don't wear a ring only because it would be hard to explain how I suddenly have a husband and where the hell he is. It's not like I want or need everyone in my personal business. As you very well know I have a beautiful wedding ring your brother had picked out and delivered to me right after we got married months ago.”

“ My bad I forgot! Hell it's been so long since I've seen it.” Tamera said picking up her drink. Tamera loved her brother and all but come on? She hardly thought Terrence meant for Dana to be a nun while he was doing his bid did he?Terrence will want to do with him once he's out. He'd never had a problem getting women. They were always all over him but he was so picky. Long ago she'd learned to stop trying to fix him up. Especially after the one time he slept with a girl she knew and never called her back. That friendship ended pretty fast. The idea of getting married to Dana came strictly from Terrence for some crazy reason.

Two other friends Lisa and Dominique joined them from class and the vibe at the table got a much needed change as they all chatted about the upcoming spring fashion show all the graduating class would be participating in. I was glad to see I wasn't the only one worried about the designs I was submitting for the show and my final grade before graduation. We all had our drawing pads out showing off our designs when all of a sudden the talk came to a halt.

“ TERRENCE!” Tamera screamed jumping up from the table and into his arms.

“ Hey little sis,” Terrence said hugging her tightly. “ I guess you're glad to see me...are you the only one?” he asked looking pointedly at me.

“ Damn he's fine! Who the hell is that?” Lisa whispered.

“ Did he just call her little sister? I think she mentioned she had a brother before but
daaaammn!
She should have told us he was fine as hell. Tamera is out of damn order! We should have been introduced!” Domonique said licking her lips. “ What's his name? I need all the 411 on his ass!” Domonique said turning to look at Dana since Tamera was still busy screaming with joy.