Love Me ~ Through the Storm (5 page)

7

Kane

Oakley, once again, isn’t making things easy on me. “I’m not avoiding you on purpose, sweetheart, this is always where I sit here at home, Oak.” I drop the footrest of my recliner then go over and plop down on the couch. “Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Quinn?”

“He’s coming back early tomorrow because he’s leaving on Sunday for his next training assignment.” Oakley gives me a half smile.

“What is his next training assignment? And what about boot camp, don’t they have to go through that before they do anything else?” I ask her.

“That’s where he’s been over the last ten weeks, but they call it basic training not boot camp.”

“How long is this next training going to last?”

“I don’t know, but he said he would be through before my semester ends.”

“What made him decide to go in early and ditch college?”

“Money. They gave him a big signing bonus.” She rolls her eyes.

“So money is more important than you?” I regret those words as soon as I spit them out. I’m hoping the water works don’t start falling.

“For real! It just goes to show that he meant more to me than I did to him. I’m
so
done with him.” She downs her drink.

“Well, enough being mopey, right? What about “Good Morning, Vietnam?” It’s a classic.”

“That sounds good, but isn’t it like a military movie?” Oakley moves closer to me and snuggles against my side.

“Yes, but you’ll like it, there’s some funny parts.” I throw my arm over the back of the couch and she lays her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head so I can smell her hair. The scent of fresh strawberries and cream is intoxicating, and I know it’s getting all in my clothes. I love when I’ve been with her and come home and I can still smell her on my shirt.

Oakley ends up falling asleep in my arms and she’s absolutely the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I take this opportunity to gently run my fingers through her long silky hair. Holding her feels right, like something I should have been doing all along. Every time she falls asleep with her head on my chest, I fall a little deeper for her. Hearing her breathe and feeling the weight of her body against mine is one of the things I crave most in this world.

What did I do to deserve this extraordinary girl to want me back?
Get a grip, Kane
, she doesn’t really want you, it’s just the alcohol and her highly emotional state talking. As much as I hate to be someone’s second choice or their choice because they’re needy, this is Oakley, it would be different. I wouldn’t mind being a rebound for her.

As I watch her sleep, my imagination runs rampant. I would give anything I have to be with her. I want to taste her sweet cream while she grips the sheets in her hands, legs trembling as she comes. Then I want to slide into the warm wetness between her legs and pump until she comes again, screaming my name. None of this can come to fruition. Maybe this is my punishment for all of my earlier transgressions. I can have her in my arms and in my heart, but I can never
have her
. This is a wicked illicit affair that can only happen in my mind. To allow it to happen in truth would taint it and her.

I want nothing more than to carry her to my bed and simply hold her all night long. But, I’m positive that would lead to things escalating. I’m having a hard enough time restraining myself around her as it is now.
Okay, I need to remove myself from this temptation.

I pick her up to take her to the guest room. She curls into me and purrs. This is such sweet torture that I’m putting myself through. In the guest room, I reach down carefully and turn the covers back with one hand. I gently lay her down in the middle of the mattress then pull the blankets over her and give her a soft kiss on her cheek. I turn to sneak out of the room, and she reaches out for my hand.

“Please stay with me, I don’t want to be alone tonight.” She doesn’t open her eyes, but she keeps a firm grip on me.

“Oakley.” I breathe out slowly. I know this could be my demise.

“Please, Kane, just one night, I need to know someone’ll be here for me.” 

“I need to change into some sleep pants or shorts, I’ll be right back.” I can’t sleep in jeans; they’re too stiff.

Oakley tightens her grip, not letting go.

“Okay, Oakley. I guess boxers will have to do. Is that okay?” I will not allow anything to happen tonight, no matter how hard my cock may become.  I walk to the other side of the bed and let my jeans fall to the floor before I slip in bed behind her.

Oakley scoots over until her back is cradled against my front. My little spoon. I can feel her ass pressed firmly against my growing erection. She reaches for my arm and pulls it around her body. “Thank you, Kane. I think I’ll be able to sleep now.”

I’m glad one of us will. It sure as hell won’t be me.

8

Oakley

Waking up in Kane’s arms was like Heaven on Earth. There’s no other place I’d rather be. Being in Quinn’s arms doesn’t even come close. Too bad the feelings are one sided. I wish Kane could see what I see; he’s really a great guy. I know what he and the rest of the band think he’s like, but they don’t see the side of him I do.  Problem is he only sees me as a little girl in need of rescuing. I have to get control of my anxiety attacks or whatever they are then, maybe he could finally see me as the grown woman I am. Perhaps, he would see the love in my eyes isn’t the love of a little girl for a big brother, but the love of a woman for a man. What happened last night at the frat party is the last time that I’m allowing panic to control me.
I am strong. I am brave.

I hate to get up, leaving him in this warm cozy bed, but I have to meet Quinn soon and break things off with him. I need to say my piece in person. I don’t want the next several years of my life to be a long distance relationship with only phone calls, letters, and the occasional visit. 
Maybe I never loved him at all if I can give him up so easily.
Last night, his text proved to me he could easily give me up. It’s a real eye opener to learn that I never meant that much to him, but it’ll make moving on so much easier.

The cab I called pulls up in front of Kane’s condo, and I rush out before they blow their horn. I don’t know why I’m sneaking out without leaving a note, nothing happened between us.

I’m meeting Quinn in the student center. I guess he wanted somewhere public so I wouldn’t freak out on him. I have to admit sometimes I really do have a hard time keeping my emotions under control. But today, for some reason, I’m not emotional, in fact, I feel ready for this. Truly, I think I’m really okay with this, with him leaving.  Who knows, this might even open up some opportunities for me. Maybe I can meet someone who really is for me. You never know, one of the guys from last night might be interested in me. If my crazy from last night didn’t scare them off.

The cab takes me straight to the student center. I really don’t care how I look for this. It’ll be over with quick and then I can go back to my dorm to face the girls.

I’m a few minutes late, so I immediately scan the student center looking for Quinn as I open the door. I see him standing with a bouquet of roses and a huge smile on his face.  He is sorta dressed up in slacks and a button down shirt, which makes me wish I had at least changed clothes.
No, Oakley, you don’t need to change; you don’t care, besides you’re here to end it with him. You can do this.

“Hey.” I say, giving him a hug.

“How’s my sweet pea?” He puts the roses down on the table then picks me up and swings me around in a giant hug. Still holding me firmly against his body, he slowly lets me slide down his improved body inch by slow inch. He leans in and gives me a kiss that shows me exactly how much he missed me over these last ten weeks.

Through his shirt, I can feel what the physical training has done for him. He is hard and tight, gone is every ounce of fat that he had. Shit, all I can think about is seeing him without his shirt on and glistening with sweat. I take a deep breath to calm myself. He’s standing taller and with more confidence and damn, now he looks like…like, a
fine ass man
. He’s no longer a boy. He really looks good, but I’m over him, I’m moving on.

I’m proud of him for serving our country, and I’m going to miss him, but I’m honestly feeling good about this, realizing all of this sooner rather than later in our relationship when we’re both really attached.

“I missed you so much, Oakley. I’m so sorry I’ve disappointed you. I do have a plan for us, if you’re willing to give this situation a chance. I love you, Oakley, you’re my whole world.” Quinn hands me the flowers, then pulls me over to one of the sofas. He sits and taps the seat beside him.

I sit next to him and lay the flowers to my other side. “Quinn, I missed you, too, probably a lot more than you realize. It’s hard on me being all alone. I don’t do well without you, Q. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“See, that’s just it, I don’t want you to be without me,” he says.

I feel a tightness in my chest, “What are you talking about?” I narrow my eyes slightly because I can’t imagine what he is thinking; he’s going to be gone forever.

Quinn stands from the couch and then bends on one knee in front of me.

Holy shit, this is not happening!

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a little black velvet box.

Oh! My! Goodness! Is this for real?

Quinn reaches for my left hand.

My right hand covers my open mouth.

“Oakley, I know we haven’t known each other long, but I do know what I feel for you is true. Nothing in this world could ever make me any happier than you do. I love you, Oakley. Will you marry me?”

“We’re eighteen years old.” I shake my head. He’s lost his mind.

“I know that and that’s the legal age here.”

“What about school? I want to get my degree.” I can’t do this.

“You can. Not a problem. I’ll make whatever you want happen. Anything you want, Oakley, if it’s within my reach. I want to make all of your dreams come true.”

His eyes are full of joy and hope.

I look around. We’re drawing a lot of attention.

“Oakley?”

“Quinn…”

He stands. “You’re not ready yet, I get that. We don’t have to go today to get married. I have three months of AIT and then I’ll have a break. The way I figure it, you’ll be about done with your first semester of school. Maybe we could get married then and you could go with me wherever I get stationed. Just think, Oakley, we could see the world,” he says, standing taller.

“Quinn, we are so young. I don’t know… I can’t be sure…” I’m so freaking confused. “I came here to end things with you today. I don’t want a long distant relationship. Now…”
Tell him. Get this over with right here and now.

“You don’t have to make your mind up right now.” He pushes the ring onto my finger. “Wear my ring, please, take some time and think about this. It’s a lifelong commitment. It’s one I want to make to you. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you the happiest girl in the world.”

“I don’t know, Quinn,”
I don’t think I’m in love with him any longer.

“Just wear it and think about it, you know how much I love you.” He is begging me with his eyes, making it hard to say no.

“Okay, I’ll wear your ring and when you come back after your training, I’ll give you my answer.” I let out a long breath. “But, I’m not sure you’re going to like my answer. I’m in disarray, and my head is all over the place.”

“That makes me almost as happy as if you’d said a real yes.” Quinn wraps his strong arms around me.

All he must have heard was the
okay
. I’d hoped to get through to him without being harsh. I’m suffocating, but I refuse to let the panic consume me. It’s ironic that his arms have always brought me comfort but today they’re restricting me.

Everyone in the room claps. They all think we got engaged and why shouldn’t they? I have on the ring, he’s happy, and we’re embracing like we can’t get enough of each other. Why do I still feel a weight pressing down on the middle of my chest? This should be a happy time for me, too.

Quinn pulls away, running his hand down my hair. “Okay, let me buy my fiancée breakfast.” He holds out his hand for mine and gives me that smile of his that has melted my heart and filled my dreams in the past. He’s sexy, charming, loves me and he wants me. Why do I feel so different today?

He’s the one person who really wants me, but do I want him? I had thought I did, why am I so unsure now? God, is everything in college going to be so confusing? Growing up kinda sucks right now. I thought during the college years you were supposed to sow your wild oats. Really live. Not become an instant adult and play house. Now, he’s already considering me his fiancée? I need to talk this out with someone. I wish Lizzie and Bailey were here.

Raelynn, who’s at the University of Alabama, is so busy already. She auditioned back in April and will proudly be marching as a Crimsonette during football season. She goes non-stop between classes and practices. She doesn’t have time for long conversations, and the one I need to have about Q will be lengthy.