Love Online (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (19 page)

The bridal march commenced. Tom turned toward the back of the church in unison with the other attendees. His gaze froze on Jess. He swallowed hard as he watched her move smoothly up the aisle, Rick’s brother at her side. With each step, her gown shone against her skin, lighting her gorgeous eyes.

Tom squared his shoulders. He shouldn’t have come here today. A heaviness in the center of his chest made looking at Jess unbearable.

As she passed, she raised her gaze, and her cool blue eyes met with his for a split second. He ran his hand down his tie and looked toward the back of the church. He might actually suffocate before he got through this ordeal.

After watching Brenda’s solemn walk up the aisle, he smiled when Corinne practically skipped toward her groom. The enthusiastic bride wasn’t afraid to show the world how much she loved Rick.

The more he’d thought about it—and he’d had plenty of time to think these past weeks—the more sense it made that Jess’s profession of love in Central Park had been spoken on a whim. He could forgive that. He’d told her he was going away, and panic would be her first response to being left alone.

The minister’s words penetrated his thoughts. Tom shifted in his seat.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.”

His gaze strayed, resting on Jess again.
Get me through this, Lord.
He could congratulate Corinne and Rick at the church doors, give them the envelope, and apologize for being unable to attend the reception. The plan taking shape in his mind brought him a measure of comfort. They’d never miss him at a hundred-and-fifty-person reception.

At the feel of a nudge at his back, Tom turned his head. He saw Frank sitting behind him, smiling.

Tom’s muscles tensed. He hated the feeling of not trusting. He nodded a greeting, turned, and faced the front. He should’ve counted on Frank’s being here today. The last straw, the final blow, would be if Frank was here as Jess’s date.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith,” the preacher said. “Love is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.”

Never gives up
. Tom clenched his jaw. He wouldn’t beg off from the reception. He’d stand and take the brunt of it, come what may.

The bride and groom looked into each other’s eyes, repeated their vows, and exchanged rings. The weight in Tom’s chest grew heavier. At every wedding, he and Jess were standing at the altar. And finally he was kissing his beautiful bride, the woman he’d never stop loving.

But unless something miraculous happened today, his dreams would be just that—hopes unrealized.

❧

“Hello, Jess.”

Jess’s pulse zoomed before she looked up. “Hi, there.”

Tom glanced at the white card in his hand, which listed seating arrangements. “Looks like this is my table.”

A smile tugged at her lips, despite the resignation she detected in his voice. “Well, have a seat.” Jess indicated the chair beside hers at the table for twelve and shot a glance at the couple seated at the far end. She was glad they were too busy chatting to care about an introduction.

This might be their last time together or the beginning of their future.

Tom hesitated a moment. Jess held her breath, waiting, hoping, and considering the hard feelings between them.

After a quick glance around the dining room and a brief smile, Tom sat and unbuttoned his suit jacket.

Jess released a long breath, her senses awakening to Tom’s clean lime scent. She’d been foolish for making a big deal of the TC incident. Her father’s letter was all that mattered now. Tom loved her. He had always loved her. She scanned his serious profile, not wholly convinced of the fact. “By the way, I read your E-mail.”

Turning, his face reflected mild surprise. Her last-ditch attempt seemed to make no impact on him. “Really? I didn’t think you would.” His voice was flat. Her jittery stomach told her the evening couldn’t end soon enough for him.

Jess sat up straighter, determined to get it right this time. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your phone calls. I needed time to think.”

Tom shrugged. “Understandable, Jess. No big deal.”

Yes, it’s a very big deal
. She wanted to punch the walls. They needn’t be formal with one another. But here they were, acting like strangers. “I overreacted to the Love Online incident. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Tom ran his gaze over her quickly. “Let’s forget it.”

He was leaving. Jess squeezed her hands together on the tabletop. The solid walls around him blocked her from asking him to stay. Corinne and Brenda and all her friends were wrong. Yes, even her father.

“You look beautiful, Jess.”

A spark of hope sent warmth through her. “Thanks. You’re looking quite good yourself.” From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Frank heading toward their table. Jess sighed.
Oh, please, not now.

“Hey, hey, I finally made it.” Frank’s voice immediately severed the delicate threads holding whatever remained of them together.

Tom’s smile vanished. He flicked a glance at Frank, then back at her.

Jess shook her head, trying to answer the questions and erase the hurt she read in Tom’s eyes. She shot Frank a look. “So where are you sitting?”

Frank jerked his thumb in the direction behind them. “I
was
sitting over there. Made a deal with a lady who was supposed to be sitting here, and”—Frank dropped into the vacant seat beside hers—“we switched.” He laughed.

Tom shook his head.

Caught in the thick maze of tension between the two, Jess prayed the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She turned her head, focusing on Tom. “Are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Hey, Buddy.” Frank leaned past her. “Tomorrow? I didn’t know that.”

Tom’s mouth lifted in a cynical grin.

Holding the back of Tom’s chair with her right hand, she pressed her fingers into the wood.
I love you, Tom. This is a misunderstanding.

“Yeah, I’ll be out of here before you know it,” Tom said, staring down at the table.

“Too bad.” Frank rested his hand on her wrist. Jess hesitated to pull away for fear of rousing Tom’s attention.

Tom turned his head, dropped his gaze to the table, and nodded slowly.
Too late.

He lifted his gaze to Frank. “Why do you ask? Are you going to miss me or something?” The bridled anger in his tone made her pulse kick up.

Jess dragged her foot under the table, searching for Frank’s leg to give him a swift kick. Frank had to be daft not to sense the boiling undercurrent. Jess forced a laugh. “Didn’t the bride look gorgeous?”

Neither of the men budged. Frank smiled. “Well, what do you think?”

In one quick motion, Jess slipped her hand out from under Frank’s. “This place is lovely. I hear the food—”

“What do I think? I think you should be happy.” Tom leaned past her, closer to Frank, as if her chair were vacant. “You’ll get my office, and you’ll get—”

“Oh, come on, you guys.” Jess swallowed past the rising panic in her throat. “You know you’ll both miss each other.”

“Excuse me.” Tom pushed back from the table and stood. “I’d better get some air.”

Jess watched him stride away, her heart sinking with his every step. She spun in her chair toward Frank, her jaw clenched. She took deep breaths until she thought she could speak without later regretting what she said. “You know, it’s not right—you—practically coming onto me when Tom’s here.”

Frank rested his cheek against his fist. “I’m sorry, Jess, but I have only the most honorable intentions.”

“Is that right? You may not know it, but I’m sure Tom interprets your
honorable intentions
as outright flirting.”

Frank leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “Tom’s never said as much to me.”

Jess felt her spine stiffen. “Maybe Tom’s too much of a gentleman to say anything.” She stopped for another breath, which did nothing to calm her. “But I know Tom. I know that even if Tom’s hurting, he’s too deep to push himself on others or try to control them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I think too.” Frank grinned.

Jess glared at him. “Y–you don’t act like it. It appears as if you’re intentionally trying to hurt him.” She dropped her gaze to the table, her throat and eyes burning. “I’m not suggesting you like me as anything more than a friend, Frank, but honestly—”

“Oh, but I do. I love you, and I love Tom, like a sister and brother.”

Jess’s gaze snapped to his. Why blame Frank? It was all her fault—playing hide-and-seek with her emotions when Tom asked her forgiveness. Ignoring him when she should’ve forgiven him on the spot, wrapped in his strong arms. “Then you’ll have to forgive my outburst. I think I—”

“Should go after Tom.” Frank jutted his chin. “He’s on the terrace, you know.”

Jess frowned, pushed back from the table, and stood. “I don’t know what makes you tick, Frank, but I—”

“Oh, Jess, I was only trying to light a fire under Tom.” Frank groaned. “If I went about it the wrong way, please forgive me. But I know how much Tom loves you.” He smiled. “And I know how much you love him.”

Her jaw hung ajar for a moment. “I think I have to go to Tom.” Jess pivoted and headed for the double doors, her heart drumming in her ears.

Nineteen

Jess twisted the shiny brass knob on the glass-paned door. She stepped outside onto the wooden planks and closed the door behind her gently. Clamping her hands behind her back, she observed Tom from a distance.

He stood facing the ocean, arms resting on the terrace guardrail. His profile, dark against the moonlight, made her senses tingle with excitement. A light breeze combed his thick brown hair. She was not afraid to say, “I love you.”

She neared him on tiptoes, though he probably couldn’t hear her approaching over the sound of roaring waves crashing along the shoreline.

Jess stopped several feet behind him. Her lips curved in a smile. Had she loved him from the moment their eyes met—as Tom said he loved her? Now she couldn’t recall a day she hadn’t been in love with him. His powerful presence had always drawn her. She had always preferred him above all others.

Drawing a deep breath of the salty night air, she felt as fearless as Frank—who’d nearly laid down his life to see them together. If Tom still chose to leave, one truth would remain.

The Lord, knowing their hearts, had orchestrated each event until they’d both arrived at this moment in time. He held their future in His capable hands.

“Hi, Jess,” Tom said, without turning to her.

“Did you hear me?” Jess moved to the railing and stood alongside him.

“No.” Tom turned his head. His dark gaze, as gentle as a caress, captured hers. “But nobody smells as nice as you do.”

Gazing into his eyes, the anger she saw at the table was gone. Her heart ached as she drank in the comfort of his nearness. Would he really go away tomorrow? “And nobody’s ever given me better counsel than you.” She smiled.

“Hmm. What does that mean?” Tom’s brows pulled to-gether. And she even loved his frown.

“Aha.” Staring out at the Atlantic, reflecting the big silvery moon and pounding the jetties, she was hit again by the enormous power of God. The Lord could do anything—change hearts and minds in an instant. “You’ve forgotten our outburst in Bible class, haven’t you?” Jess gave him a sidelong glance.

Tom ran his gaze over her face slowly. “It’s possible. But I doubt I’ve forgotten much of anything we’ve done together.”

His ready confession made her heart skip beats. Jess turned, facing him fully. “Proverbs 27:9—do you remember? Mr. Baylor’s class?” She couldn’t restrain a grin.

“Oh, yes, now it’s all coming back.” Tom clucked his tongue. “Didn’t that verse cost me dearly?”

“I’ll say.” Jess laughed. Tom ran his fingers over her cheek, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “Y–you paid by scrubbing the schoolhouse floors on a Saturday—when you needed to practice for a big game.”

Jess watched a familiar smile curve his tempting mouth. Her heart overflowed with love for him. Tom
had
loved her from the day they’d met. He’d done so in his quiet way, never asking anything in return.

Yet he had only said “I love you” to her face as her friend. His E-mail counted for something. But now she longed for more.

Tom tipped his head. “I know that verse. ‘Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart.’ ” He nodded slowly. “And you always made my heart rejoice, Jess.”

“Did I?” She held her breath. Dare she let herself believe he’d utter them now? But he glanced out at the wild sea, his jaw set.

Jess straightened her shoulders. “ ‘So doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel,’ the proverb goes on to say.” She reached out hesitantly and took hold of his strong hands. “You’ve been a sweet friend, Tom, and you’ve given me hearty counsel.”

Tom raised her left hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Jess, I—” His chest rose and fell with a deep breath. He brushed his thumb over the ring on her finger. “It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.” She slipped her hands from his grasp and held fast to the railing. They both faced the ocean now, together, but alone. “Is that what you really wanted to say about the ring, Tom?”

“No.” He cleared his throat. “I wanted to ask where you got it. Who gave it to you. And why that ex-friend of mine is slobbering all over you, when I’ll be out of his way by tomorrow.” There was a hard edge to his voice. “That’s what I wanted to say.”

Jess tilted her chin. “You wrote in your E-mail that you’ve changed, Tom. You said you’d speak your mind from now on, regardless of how you thought the other person would respond.”

“I know what I wrote, Jess.” His iron will came through in his voice and in the rigid set of his broad shoulders. “And you think I’ve failed?”

“Yes. Insofar as you didn’t ask all the things you wanted to.” Jess felt her arms stiffen at her sides. She clenched her shaky hands and stomped one high-heeled foot against the wooden planks.
Say it, Tom—say it!