Love Online (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (15 page)

I hope to hear from you again soon. If you have any questions about the better half (females), please ask away, and I’ll help if I can.

Sincerely,

Jess

After sending the E-mail, she read a few other Love Online responses, but none piqued her interest. She would open one more, then haul her carcass downstairs with four loads of laundry.

An Instant Message popped up on her screen. Jess’s hand immediately went to her thudding heart. Tom?

“Hey, there! What’s new?”

Jess’s spine stiffened as she typed. “Not much. Nice service this morning, wasn’t it?”

“The parts I heard, yes. I was kind of distracted.”

She was thankful they weren’t face-to-face. Her heart pounded so hard that surely he’d hear it. Could he mean—? She set her trembling fingers to the keyboard. “Distracted? Why?” The cursor blinked like a clock, ticking off seconds to a time-bomb.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. You name it, and it’s probably floating around in my mind.”

Where had she heard that expression before? Jess sat up straighter. “Business problems or what?” She ached to add,
Or did you hate seeing me with Frank?
She commanded herself to stop dreaming. TC had planted the crazy notion in her head, and now she was running with it.

“Business is business. Keeps me engaged, but I’m glad I have Frank to pick up some of the slack. You know Frank, always there when I need him.”

Jess felt the blood drain from her face. Did he mean the comment sarcastically? If so, what did she do with it?
Think, Jess—think.
“Yes, Frank and I had lunch after church, and he mentioned what a great team you two make.” She held her breath.

“Yep, a great team. Don’t know where I’d be without Frank. How was lunch, by the way?”

Jess’s breathing returned to somewhat normal. Tom hadn’t meant any sarcasm at all. She’d allowed TC’s comments to color her thinking. “Lunch was great.” Jess deleted “great” and replaced it with “good.” Tapping her foot to the tune of her frayed nerves, she licked her dry lips.

“What are you doing later? For dinner, I mean?”

Jess stared at the screen, fingers frozen. This had never been a loaded question in the past, and it wasn’t one now. A simple answer would suffice. “I have no plans.” Yuk! Why did she write that? Her middle name should be
Desperado
.

“I’m in the mood for Italian. Thinking of hitting La Luna tonight.”

Okay, so what did that mean? Was that an invitation? “Sounds like a great idea.” Jess heard the
thwack
of the ball as it landed solidly back in Tom’s court.

“Want me to pick you up around five?”

Losing her bravado, Jess bit her lip. His invitation shouldn’t send whirly-twirlies to her stomach. Oh, but it did. And how could she stop them now? “Hmm, sounds like a plan.” She stopped herself from adding that the “hmm” was meant for La Luna’s food and not the delicious warmth of his nearness.

❧

Jess sat in the lobby of her building, dressed in her black skirt and white blouse, making every effort to strike a relaxed pose. Any minute now Tom would appear in the lobby, and she would have to act normal. Practicing composure, she stopped wiggling her foot and straightened her shoulders.

She heard the slam of a car door. Her stomach jumped. Though she could see Tom through the glass doors, she knew she was out of sight from his vantage point. Her gaze traveled over him, head to toe, as her nails pressed harder into her palms.

His thick, golden-brown hair—brushed back from his tanned, handsome face—set off his dark eyes. And his broad shoulders. . .

Jess dropped her gaze to the purse on her lap, studiously avoiding him, until she could no longer ignore the echo of his footsteps drawing nearer.

“Jess.”

The velvet warmth of his voice sent the heat of a blush to her face. She stood quickly, sending her purse crashing to the floor.

Stooping simultaneously to fetch it, their heads bumped. “I’m sorry.” Jess forced a laugh. The perfect beginning to their evening together.

Tom laughed, handed her the purse, and rubbed his brow. “Anybody ever tell you you have a hard head?”

His humor broke the tension. They walked to the truck together, smiling and exchanging brief glances. But she needed to pull herself together, or she’d be a klutz all night. And Tom, knowing her so well, would see right through her casual façade to the panic beneath.

Tom held open the door and offered his hand to give her a lift into the truck.

Jess placed her hand in his and positioned her foot on the running board. In a blind flash, she was in Tom’s strong arms, her cheek pressed against his solid chest.

Jess stiffened. All she needed was to appear too eager. This could be the perfunctory hug of a remorseful friend—

But suddenly Tom crushed her to him, shattering her doubts, making her senses spin. She melted against his chest, buried her face in the crux of his neck, inhaling his clean lime scent.

Tom drew back slightly, his brown-sugar gaze running over her face slow as molasses. “I’ve missed you.” He leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

Jess held back a teasing comment that would turn the intimate exchange into a casual moment between friends. She tightened her fingers around his muscular forearms and smiled up at him.

Tonight she would tell him, despite her father’s warnings of the perils of women pursuing men. A simple truth from a stranger in E-mail had resonated with her—TC was right. What’s the worst that could happen?

Time was running out. She had to know now, or she’d become the lady in the maternity shop, full of regrets. Tom had always been the love of her life. And she had been too blind to see it. The shock of nearly losing him had brought her to her senses. If she kept her love a secret, locked away in her heart, she’d lose him anyway.

Only the Lord knew how Tom would respond. And only the Lord knew how crushed she would be if Tom rejected her.

Fourteen

For the past ten minutes, silence filled the truck as they headed downtown. Tom glanced at the traffic light. He strummed his fingers on the steering wheel, slid his gaze to Jess, and smiled.

Tilting her head, she seemed to question his perusal. The dark, silky curtain of her hair fell forward over one shoulder. A jab of longing hit him, exploding in his chest. What did Frank say?
“Drop-dead gorgeous?”
That she was.

He pulled his gaze from her. Even so, Jess’s true beauty came from within, radiating from her clear, blue eyes, piercing his heart. It was what had captured him from the second he’d seen her—and each time thereafter. Jess would always be the North Star among ordinary stars. And when he believed his feelings for her had settled, drifted away to a soft whisper, one look at her stirred them all over again.

Tom scanned the heavy traffic ahead. Jess’s E-mail to TC made it perfectly clear she was blind to his love.

“You look far away tonight.” Jess’s voice filtered into his thoughts, and for the first time, he knew she couldn’t see through to his bare soul.

Tom tapped the leather seat separating them. “Then come sit closer to me.”

Jess’s musical laughter rippled over him. Tom smiled. What made him think he could ever get over her? She shifted and draped her arm across the back of the seat. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. So what were you thinking about?”

“Not what. Whom.” He slammed on the truck’s brakes to make way for a cabbie who sliced in front of him, then glanced her way again.

“Whom?” Jess moved to her former rigid position, slender hands clasped on her lap. “All right then—whom were you thinking about?”

“You, Jess.” He had nothing to lose anymore. “I was thinking about you.” The tense line between her pretty arched brows disappeared. Her smile said she liked him putting her first in his life, in his thoughts. But he was about to let her down.

“It—it’s a green light.” Her stressed voice accompanied the tune of honking motorists.

“Green light.” Tom accelerated and merged into traffic. He might get his mind on the road instead of drifting on the cloud of her orange-vanilla scent. He would pay the price later, he knew. But another sleepless night seemed a mere pittance compared to not seeing her at all. He had counted the cost before asking her out. And what little time remained until he left New York, he wanted to spend with Jess, even on a friendship basis. “Tomorrow is—”

“A year since Daddy’s gone.”

Tom shot her a sidelong glance. Her lower lip quivered, and her eyes filled. Poor Jess. Of course the thought wouldn’t be far from her mind. He swallowed past the thickness in his throat. “I know, Jess. I—”

“How do you think I’m doing, Tom?” She lowered her lids, twisting her slender fingers. “If my father could see me now, do you think—”

“He’d be proud of you, Jess. I mean that.” His eyes burned, and a dull ache wrapped its fingers around his heart. “I’m sorry. Sorry you”—Tom’s jaw tightened—“sorry we lost him.”

Maybe Dean was the glue that had kept them together. Jess loved pleasing her father. And seeing them together had pleased Dean. She had two men who had loved and protected her, but soon she’d have none.

Jess sniffled and dashed away a tear at the corner of her eye. “We’ll see him again in heaven someday.”

“Yes, thanks to Jesus, we will.” Tom cleared his throat. He had to make their last few times together count for something. How could he leave without knowing for sure Jess could go it alone? “And just watch your father blame
me
if anything went wrong with you.”

Jess gave a choked laugh. “Yeah, that would be just like Daddy. So you’d better not skip too many days in a row without seeing me.” Her gaze latched onto his, and his heart turned over. “No telling what kind of trouble I’ll get myself into when you’re not around.”

“You’ll do great with or without me.” The skepticism written on her face mirrored his own doubts. Soon the days between them would stretch into months. Perhaps years. “Tissues.” Tom cleared his throat and pointed to the glove compartment.

“Thanks.” Jess snapped it open and pulled out the box. She dabbed her eyes and nose. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” She pulled in an uneven breath, and he forced away the impulse to hold her, comfort her. “You know, when Daddy died. The Lord and you were my strength.”

Tom covered her hand with his, pressing slightly. “You have your church family too, Jess—don’t forget that. A lot of people love you.”
I love you.
He tried to smile. “Especially Marilyn.”

“Yes.” She fanned her beautiful face with her hand. “You, and Marilyn, and my other church friends. You’re all my family now.”

Tom swallowed hard. If he hadn’t let his emotions get away from him, he could stay in New York, be with Jess until she met—the man of her dreams. As always, a sense of dread accompanied the thought. “You’ll be all right, Jess.” Like it or not, he’d been cast in the role of protector. But she wouldn’t flounder without him. The Lord was her real protector.

Spotting a parking space, Tom slowed the truck to a crawl. “We’ll have to walk about two blocks.” He maneuvered the big, black vehicle in reverse. “But I’d better grab this spot.” He pushed the gearshift into park, cut the engine, and jiggled the keys.

Jess made no motion to move. She lifted her gaze to him and smiled. “Did I tell you Marilyn’s pregnant again?”

He looked past her smile to the glint of longing in her eyes. She’d be happy for Marilyn, but her mind must’ve leapt to her own ticking biological clock when she’d heard the news. All the more reason he had to get out of the picture, give Jess space to grow and a chance to meet the man God intended for her.
Too bad, Jess—too bad it isn’t me.
“So number three’s on the way?”

Jess nodded, and what remained of her tears deepened the sparkle in her blue eyes. “Tom. . .” She held his gaze until he thought he might kiss her then and there. “I have something to tell you.”

He felt his shoulders tense. The air around him crackled with unspoken emotion. She was about to say something he didn’t want to hear. Her lips parted as if to speak, and a dull foreboding told him to run. Reaching in back of himself, he clutched the door handle.

Jess drew in a long breath. “I wanted to tell you—”

“Want to tell me while we walk?” As he studied her serious expression, his breath felt trapped in his lungs.

She tipped her head and smiled. “Good idea. Let’s eat first.”

They strode toward the restaurant at a leisurely pace, and Jess looped her arm through his. Why couldn’t he feel this way with Linda at his side? Sweet as Linda was, his heart belonged to Jess.

But tonight he’d have to tell Jess he’d made a decision to relocate. He was through hiding behind TC in E-mail, and he was ashamed of his reaction when he’d seen her with Frank. Most of all, he was sick of chasing down rainbows.

For far too long, he loved being Jess’s hero. But the longer he kept her emotionally dependent on him, the harder it would be on her, and him, when it came time for him to go.

❧

Jess clinked her glass of sparkling water to Tom’s upheld glass. “Here’s to us.”

Tom offered what seemed a halfhearted smile. “To us then.”

She scanned the cozy, crowded room, with its pale green walls. They had dined here so many times, but this night would be different—either the best of times or the worst of times.

Jess bit back a grin. Tom had held her closer than ever tonight, kissed her as if he meant it. His gesture might’ve been a sign from the Lord, giving her the go-ahead. Even though Tom had always thought of her as a good buddy, he surely felt the same electricity she had when she was in his arms.