Love Songs (Secret Songbook #1) (11 page)

Some of her best memories were of lying in the backyard with Strom while he pointed out the various formations. She was a junior astronomer by the time she was seven.

“They’re pretty,” Eli agreed, looking up.

As they meandered across the wooden boards, their footsteps making the only sounds in the night, Kaley really wanted to ask the question she had been asking herself ever since the night of the football game.

She wanted to know why Eli asked her out. She wanted to know how he could see her when everyone else thought she was invisible. She wanted to know what he saw in her that nobody else did. But she couldn’t. Partly because she was sure she would come across as crazy, but partly because she wasn’t prepared to hear the answer yet.

Perhaps he would say something terrible, something that would make her feel bad. She had a rule of never asking a question until she was prepared for the answer. And at that moment on the boardwalk, she wasn’t prepared to hear the answer. Not yet anyway, perhaps if they had more dates, she would eventually be ready.

But not yet.

“Do you have any pets?” Kaley asked instead, making small talk to fill the silence. It was another safe topic she was comfortable with.

“We have a dog named Morgan. You?”

“We don’t have any, my mom thinks they’re too hard work. She said that if she wanted something else to clean up after, she would have had another baby.”

Eli laughed. “Your mom sounds like an interesting person.”

“Interesting is one word. I’ve always wanted a cat, I thought that would be fun to have around the house.”

“Cats don’t have owners, they have servants.”

Now it was Kaley’s turn to laugh. “I guess that’s right. They do have a certain attitude, perhaps that’s what I like about them. They have spunk.”

“You’re quite spunky.” Eli stole a quick look at her, not enough to linger and get embarrassed, just enough to see her expression. And that expression was blushing.

“I don’t know about that.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself, Kaley Thorne. You definitely have spunk.”

They stopped at the halfway point along the boardwalk when the lights started to become few and far between. They turned back for the car, in silence now.

The walk back seemed quicker than the walk there. Kaley couldn’t believe the night was almost over already and so far she had managed to avoid embarrassing herself completely.

It was like a miracle.

She checked her watch – almost eleven o’clock. She didn’t exactly have a curfew, but she figured it was getting late enough for her parents to worry.

Eli drove her home. She watched him in the shadows of the darkness, he seemed to be concentrating really hard on the driving. It was cute he was so focused.

She wondered what he was thinking about. Was he replaying the ‘spunk’ comment over and over again in his head like she was in hers? Probably not, but it was fun to think about.

He insisted on walking her to the door when he pulled up. She started to feel her heart thudding in her chest, wondering what was about to happen. Was she about to have her very first kiss? Would she completely muck it up so she had to move towns to avoid him?

She suddenly wished he had said goodnight in the car. The next few minutes were surely going to be traumatic.

They stopped underneath the porch light. It had been left on just for their return, no doubt. Kaley could feel the palms of her hands starting to get sweaty, all she could hear was her heart pounding in her ears. Eli was standing close to her, so close their bodies were touching. They looked into each other’s eyes.

The thoughts running through Kaley’s head were getting jumbled. What was she supposed to do? How on earth did you kiss someone? Would it just start, or was he waiting for her to begin? Would he be able to tell it was her first kiss?

She froze in place and continued to stare. She didn’t have a choice, her body was no longer under the influence of her brain, her whole nervous system had shut down.

Eli smiled and started leaning down, his face growing closer and closer to hers. The butterflies in her stomach were vying to be heard over her heart. If the whole thing wasn’t over soon, she would be throwing up right then and there on the porch. Probably all over his shoes. She couldn’t take the suspense.

Just when their lips were in meeting distance, Eli moved to the side. Instead of her lips, he found her ear and whispered: “I’m not going to kiss you.”

He pulled back his head, but not his body. Their chests were still touching, his hand was still resting on her hip. She expected to see him laughing at her, perhaps the whole night had been a joke to him. Perhaps it was a dare from the football team to take out the quiet girl.

She could feel every hope she ever had about him being sucked out of her head. She felt like a fool, but he wasn’t letting her go.

Why wasn’t he letting her go?

She needed to run inside and hide underneath her bed until everyone that knew about their date was dead and buried. Only then could she show her face again.

She looked away, finally break his gaze. He placed his hands gently on her cheek and made her look at him again.

“The kiss is for the second date,” he whispered, never letting his smile leave his face.

She couldn’t help it, her stubborn grimace was turning into a huge, goofy smile. Her rollercoaster of emotions had lasted about ten seconds, but it had seemed like hours.

She found her spunk again. “What makes you think you get a second date?”

“Because I want you. And I always get what I want.”

Kaley couldn’t argue with that logic, not when her head was spinning like a top. She noticed the sparkle in his eyes and wondered if she was the one causing it already. It was enough to make her want to do cartwheels right across the lawn. Perhaps after he left.

“Well, you’re going to have to work hard, because this date is going to be difficult to beat.”

“I’ll think of something.” He let her go. “Goodnight Kaley, sweet dreams.”

She couldn’t wish him a goodnight, she was smiling too much. She watched him walk to his car and start the engine. He gave her one final wave before he left. She managed to get her arm to work to return the wave, but it was difficult.

When he was gone, she turned and went inside, feeling like she was walking on air. She didn’t know how she was going to sleep tonight, she really wanted to call Harper and tell her everything about the last five hours but it would have to wait.

But not as long as she thought, sitting in the living room was Georgie and Strom. They stared at her expectantly, slightly puffing and pretending they hadn’t been listening at the door. Strom’s magazine was being read upside down, a sure giveaway.

“Did you have a good time, honey?” Georgie asked casually. She didn’t really pull it off.

For once, Kaley didn’t care about their nosiness. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world, nothing could bring her down. “It was fantastic. Everything I wanted it to be.”

“Well, sit down and give us the juicy details.”

“I only want to know one thing,” Strom interjected. “Did he treat you like a lady? I don’t like the thought of some teenage boy being alone with you.”

Kaley rolled her eyes, but gave him a hug. “He was a perfect gentleman, Dad. I promise.”

“Good. I’m going to bed then. I’m glad you had a nice time. Just remind me to introduce him to my baseball bat next time.” Strom gave Kaley a kiss on the forehead and left them to it. He really didn’t want to hear any more information than he needed to.

Kaley sat in his spot on the lounge. “It was perfect, Mom. We went out for pizza and then a walk on the boardwalk. We talked and he wasn’t anything like I thought he would be.”

“What was he like?”

“I thought he would just talk about football, but he didn’t. I think there’s a lot more to Eli than anybody realizes.”

“Looks can be deceiving. Remember, I chose your father over all the jocks with a letterman jacket. You should never judge a book by its cover.”

Kaley smiled, she had heard her mother say that a million times. She settled into the lounge and gave a minute by minute description of the entire date.

The only part she left out was the time they spent on the porch together. That was for her to keep for herself, she wasn’t ready to let that moment go yet.

Chapter 11

The last thing Kaley felt like on a Sunday morning was homework. Yet that was exactly what she was doing. To make it even worse, she was doing it with Harvey.

They were in his backyard, attempting to make a rocket out of a hundred little pieces of wood and plastic. It would do for their science assignment and the instructions were easy enough to obtain off the internet.

The rocket had been Harvey’s idea and Kaley couldn’t be bothered to argue. She would rather he made the decision so they didn’t have to fight about it. Things were already awkward enough ever since she mentioned her date with Eli.

They started cutting out plywood that would be used to stabilize the rocket. It wasn’t good enough for it just to shoot off. For the experiment to be successful it would have to reach some serious altitude and stay on a designated course. It wasn’t going to be an ordinary backyard rocket. At least Harvey was excited about it.

“This rocket is going to be awesome,” he said as he whittled away at the wood.

“Yeah, it was a good idea.” Hopefully compliments would help to win him over again.

She didn’t know why, but she kept picturing him looking out the window at her and Eli the night before. There was something about his expression, he seemed so… sad. She felt guilty about making him look that way.
If
it was her anyway, she wasn’t about to ask him what was going on. She had no intentions of even mentioning Eli.

They worked in silence, making only small talk and giving instructions from the internet print-out. They started to fall into their familiar patterns again, just like they always did.

They had prepared so many school projects together over the years that they had a level of comfort that was difficult to find just anywhere. Even when they weren’t officially partnered together they would still combine skills and resources.

“Can you please pass the glue?” Kaley asked, pointing at the heavy duty wood glue just out of her reach.

Harvey handed it over, adding casually: “So I saw Eli pick you up last night. Did you go anywhere good?”

“Just for pizza.” She inwardly groaned, knowing she was about to have a conversation about it, the one she wanted to avoid. She hoped he would drop it quickly, she wanted to talk about it to anyone else except him.

Anyone
else.

“Was it good?”

“The pizza? It was okay, just your ordinary pizza.”

That wasn’t what Harvey meant, but he didn’t correct her. He continued on, still trying to pretend to be disinterested, like he was only making conversation. “Did you go anywhere else?”

“Not really. We just came home.”

“Do you think you’ll go out again?”

Kaley didn’t want to answer that question either. Even remembering their moment on the porch last night made her want to blush all over again. Of course they’d go out again, she wanted to go out again and so did Eli. However, she got the feeling Harvey might not be as excited to hear that.

“We might, I don’t know,” she dodged the question and shrugged, trying to make him believe it was just casual for now. It wasn’t a fun game they were playing.

Harvey stopped his questions, left to consider the answers in his own mind. The mood shifted between them, the awkwardness was creeping back in and settling amongst them. They continued on with their project but soon ran out of motivation.

“I think we should call it day,” Kaley said. Whether it was the late night or the difficultly in talking with Harvey, something was making her suddenly not care about the project. Besides, they had plenty of time up their sleeves – the assignment wasn’t due for five weeks yet. There was no point in rushing when they didn’t have to.

“Yeah, I agree.” Harvey started packing up, obviously having the same thoughts. “We can work on it during the week or something. As long as you don’t have any more dates, of course.”

Kaley let the comment go, wondering if perhaps there was something to Harper’s theory. She hoped not, she needed to have Harvey’s friendship, she couldn’t live without it.

She had never been out with a guy before, perhaps it would just take some getting used to. She tried to imagine how she would feel if Harvey started dating a girl from school. She guessed she wouldn’t like it very much, she did prefer to have him all to herself – even if in a purely platonic way.

After all the pieces of the unassembled rocket were put away, Kaley returned home. She could hear her father in the garage banging on something and Mother Barbie was catching up on her soaps in the living room. She ignored them both and headed for her room.

Picking up her guitar, she wished Harvey’s bedroom wasn’t directly across from her room. It never really bothered her before, but she would have liked to have been away from any prying eyes.

As much as she didn’t want the intrusion, she didn’t close the curtains, it would have sent a definite message to Harvey and she didn’t want that. Besides, he wasn’t in his room and hopefully would have something else to do.

Kaley started strumming absentmindedly, copying a song she heard on the radio. She didn’t even need the sheet music, she could replicate a tune with ease, something Mr. Eton had taught her. Everything came down to those twelve chords, once she understood that, the rest flowed.

She should have been inspired to create magical new songs after her date with Eli and all the wonderful feelings she had running through her veins. If she hadn’t spent the morning with Harvey, she probably would have been writing like crazy.

The problem was that he had made all her previous excitement evaporate into thin air. It bothered her the way it bothered Harvey so much. She didn’t want to make him feel bad, but surely she had a right to feel happy?

Eli made her feel like no-one had before. And that almost kiss… it was probably better than having an actual kiss. She had something to look forward to now and knew it would be perfect. She had used up all her nerves on the almost-kiss, there were none left for the actual one.

She tried playing the songs she recently wrote but they didn’t sound right. She had been certain they were perfect before, but now they seemed to lack something. A beat here or a word wrong there.

She caught her pick in the strings and it flicked onto the floor. Just another thing to go wrong, she moaned as she picked it up. She wished she could go back to the night before and regain her enthusiasm.

The door to her room opened, it had to be her mother, her father always knocked first.

“What do you want, Mom? I’m busy.” It wasn’t exactly true, but she didn’t need Mother Barbie’s intrusion right now. She had enough on her mind.

Georgie let herself in anyway and sat on the bed by her side. She seemed to be hesitating about something.

“Spit it out, Mom. I really am busy.”

“I was so glad to hear all about your date last night,” Georgie started. The way her hands wouldn’t keep still betrayed her calm voice, she had something on her mind. “I’m so happy you feel comfortable talking to me about these things.”

“I was excited, I guess.”

“It means a lot. As you get older, it’s more and more important that we can openly communicate. I hope you know you can talk to me about anything.”

Kaley didn’t want to even pretend that she knew where the conversation was going. These discussions never seemed to go somewhere good. “Yeah, Mom, whatever.”

“You’re getting older Kaley and that leads to many new things you are going to be experiencing. I don’t want you to feel you are going through this alone. You had your first date last night and if that boy has any sense it will lead to another date.”

Kaley wanted to die right then and there as she realized what her mother was talking about. But seriously, was she trying to have
the
talk with her? Now? After only one date? Surely Mother Barbie couldn’t be that clueless. It wasn’t like she was going to jump straight into bed with Eli. It wasn’t even something she had thought about.

“Mom, I don’t think we need to talk about this yet.”

“But we do, Kaley. Boys, they come into your life and sweep you away. It all happens so quickly that it leaves your head spinning. Plus, there are pressures. Not only pressures from him but from your peers as well. I want you to know it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to stand up for yourself and make your own decisions. I also want you to be safe, and to do that, you need to know all your options.”

“Seriously Mom, we don’t need to have this conversation.” Kaley could feel her face blushing at the embarrassment. The whole conversation should have come with a warning.

“I’m not going to let you be a teen mom, Kaley. I want you to know how important it is to protect yourself. Now, I’ve got these pamphlets.” Georgie spread out a series of pamphlets on the bed between them. They had titles like ‘STI’s – the enemy’. “I want you to read them all very carefully and arm yourself with information. If you have any questions, we can always talk about them.”

If it made her disappear faster, Kaley took the pamphlets without hesitation. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll be sure to read them all.”

“That’s my girl. Eli sounds like a nice boy, and he’s very cute, but you don’t know a person until you spend a lot of time with them. Please don’t rush anything, even if it feels right.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

Satisfied, Georgie kissed her forehead and left her alone in stunned silence. She shook her head trying to remove the memory of the entire thing. She had never been more embarrassed in her life.

Gathering the pamphlets, she shoved them in the drawer by her bed. She had no intention of reading them, she didn’t have to. She was nervous enough just kissing Eli, anything further was going to have to wait.

She opened her songbook and started practicing again, working on her new songs. At least her mother’s visit had taken her mind off Harvey and that was something. Her songs didn’t seem so bad now, not after the recent trauma.