Authors: Kelly Nelson
Fourteen
Wednesday afternoon as she and her mother waited, Cat tapped her foot impatiently. Why were doctors always behind schedule? Thank goodness Danny was playing at his friend’s house
.
Cat would have gone crazy trying to keep him quiet for so long. The oncologist, Dr. Roberts, had adjusted her mother’s chemo after finding the tumor on her liver. But today when Cat told him about her mother’s recent decline, he ordered an MRI. They had been at the hospital for hours. Cat looked at her mom, who lay on the exam table, her eyes closed in utter exhaustion. She had been so strong through all this, but in the last two days, Cat knew something had changed—that her mother’s contagious optimism had been replaced by discouragement. She wouldn’t admit it, but Cat could tell.
Dr. Roberts knocked once and entered the room, offering a halfhearted smile. In a sympathetic tone, he explained that the cancer had spread to Sally’s lungs. The tumor in the liver wasn’t responding to the change in chemo. They might consider another surgery. He said all this in terms that sounded like a foreign language—
metastatic, stage IV, non-small-cell lung cancer,
and
adenocarcinoma.
In a flash of frustration, Cat lashed out. “How can that be? After the last surgery you said—” She couldn’t finish the sentence. As much as she wanted to blame someone, it wasn’t the physician’s fault. He’d done everything he could. She dropped her head in her hands and fought back the tears.
“I’m sorry. We do have a few options. We can remove the main mass surgically and there are other drugs that I’ll talk with you about, but they typically have more adverse side effects.”
Most of what the doctor said to her mother after that got lost in the tangle of Cat’s thoughts. Her world had screeched to a halt in the face of so grave a diagnosis. Absent something miraculous, her mother’s illness had moved into the terminal category. She might squeak out a little more time, but typically no one recovered from cancer as widespread as this.
While Cat held the door, her mom said, “I think I’ll look for tickets online. Before my next surgery, I should go see my mother . . . and my sister . . . just in case.”
“Mom . . .” Cat meant to say something encouraging, or counter her mother’s doubt, but the words stuck in her mouth like a spoonful of peanut butter. Yes, her mom should go see Grandma Benson, who had been in a rest home for the past two years and was nearing her eighty-second birthday. Parkinson’s disease had left her unable to care for herself. When the responsibility became too great for Cat’s aunt, she and Sally had found a care center for their mother. It was close to Cat’s aunt’s house in Boise, Idaho. As her mom walked out the door now, she mustered the strength to agree with her. “I think it’s a good idea for you to go see your mom and sister.”
Cat left the doctor’s office in a trance, functioning on autopilot. Help her mother to the truck. Drive home. Get something for her to eat. Pick up Danny. Feed him. Feed the horses. There was something happening tonight. Ty. Their dinner date. She longed to feel his strength, to not be alone right now.
She hurried through her shower and stood blow-drying her hair when Danny ran into the bathroom with the phone. “Mom, it’s Ty. He wants to talk to you.”
“Thank you, honey.” She took the phone from him. “Hello.”
“Hey, my truck died this afternoon. I think it’s the starter and I’m trying to fix it. In case I can’t get it running, do you mind driving?”
“I don’t mind. When should I come over?”
“As soon as you’re ready. I can’t wait to see you.”
Twenty minutes later, Cat pulled onto Ty’s gravel driveway. The back of his old Dodge stuck out behind the barn, and she parked her truck behind it. He peeked around the hood of the Dodge and waved a grease-covered hand.
She walked over to stand next to him. He looked tired, sweaty, and stressed out. “Hi there,” she said.
“How are you today?”
He worked intently with a wrench to loosen some bolts near the engine. He’d probably included the question as part of a standard greeting. Not certain this was the best time to go into the details of her mother’s doctor visit, Cat simply said, “I’ve been better.”
“Hmm, me too.”
“You know, we can just drive my truck if you want to leave this for later.”
“I called—” Ty’s phone, playing some catchy tune, cut him off mid-sentence. “Can you grab that? It’s probably Larry. He’s looking for the part I need.”
Cat hurried to the open door of his truck and picked up his iPhone. Not wanting him to miss the call, she quickly slid her finger across the screen and raised the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
“Oh,” said a female voice. “Is Ty there?”
“Yeah, but he’s working on his truck right now. Can I take a message?”
“You must be one of his sisters. I’m Ashley, Ty’s girlfriend. Can you tell him I’m going to the beach house a day early with Megan, and I’ll meet him there on Friday? Thanks, I gotta run—I’ve got another call coming in.”
There was a click and then silence. Like a rogue elevator, the floor of Cat’s world dropped out from underneath her. If the woman hadn’t specifically said Ty’s name, she would have assumed it was a wrong number. Cat set the phone on the seat and slowly turned to face him.
“Does Larry have a starter that’ll work?” Ty asked.
Hot tears burned her eyes.
How could I have been so stupid?
Ty pulled his head out from under the hood, his blue eyes meeting hers. “Cat, what did he say?”
“It wasn’t Larry.”
“Who was it?” Ty asked, wiping his hands on a dirty rag.
Cat’s shock transformed into fury. “Does the name Ashley ring a bell? It was your girlfriend, Ty. She wanted me to give you a message. She’s going to the beach house a day early and will meet
you
there on Friday.”
Ty went pale, looking guilty as sin as he moved closer. “Cat, let me explain. I was going to break up with her on Friday. I didn’t even plan to stay the weekend. She set up that trip months ago, before I ever met you. She means nothing to me. I swear. I was going to tell you everything tonight at dinner. It’s complicated. I—”
Cat had heard enough. Suddenly sick to her stomach, she backed away from him. When he reached his hand out to her, she said, “You two-timing dirtbag. How could you? I can’t believe I trusted you. I even trusted you with Danny. Stay away from me. I never want to see you again.”
Ty looked remorseful, even distraught. He tossed the greasy rag into the truck bed and followed her. “Hear me out, please, Cat. I came back to Oregon to help my dad with the farm after his heart attack. Since you and I started dating, I haven’t seen Ashley once—a couple phone calls, a few emails and text messages, but that’s because she’s feeding my fish and watching my place. She and I were together for eight months, so I thought I owed it to her to explain my feelings for you in person. But you’re right. I should have told her about us sooner. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”
Cat reached her truck and paused. “What do you mean by ‘came back to Oregon’?”
“I live in California. I’m a CPA. I’ve worked there for the past ten years. But I’m trying to—”
She yanked open the door. “So you’re telling me everything was a lie? I don’t even know who you are.”
Ty grabbed her arm to stop her from climbing into the truck. “Catherine, hear me out. I’m trying to get a job in Portland. I love you.”
Unwanted tears filled her eyes and trickled onto her cheeks. “Let go of me. I’m leaving.”
“No, wait.”
Like gasoline on a fire, her anger flared. She shoved him in the chest. “Get away from me.” His face blurred through the tears as he squeezed her arm tighter.
“I won’t let you go like this. Catherine, please.”
She slapped him across the face. Looking startled, he relaxed his grip and she yanked free, then scrambled into the truck and slammed the door. He reached for the handle, but she pressed the lock button. While she fumbled through her purse for the keys, he pounded on the window. “Catherine, don’t do this. Talk to me.”
She stuck the key in the ignition and looked up to see that he had moved in front of the truck. He braced both hands on the hood as if to hold it there. His muffled voice came through the glass. “Please, stop! Don’t leave before you let me explain.”
The roar of the engine drowned the rest of his words. She jerked the gearshift into drive and inched forward. Ty hopped back, but held his position. The orange gauge on the speedometer climbed, forcing him to jump aside as she made a U-turn. He slammed his fist on her hood as she passed. Cat generously fed the engine, peppering him with gravel.
The radio blared a ridiculously optimistic love song, so she clicked it off and wiped her eyes. Her fingertips came away covered in black mascara. Minutes later, she drove past the driveway to her house and pulled into the barn entrance. She just couldn’t face her mother right now. The last thing Cat needed to hear was “I told you so.” Not to mention Danny. He’d be heartbroken when he found out Ty wouldn’t be coming around anymore.
She parked her truck in front of the arena and ran to the tack room. She yanked Ranger’s bridle off the hook and hefted her saddle into her arms. While she set the tack on the hitching post, she cleared her throat and yelled, “Ranger! Come here, Ranger.” She had owned him since he was a foal. His familiar whinny rang over the thundering of hooves as he led the herd in a gallop for the gate. Cat smiled at her faithful friend. He was honest, trustworthy, and reliable. He was predictable. She knew he’d nudge her for a treat, softly at first. But if she didn’t produce a piece of carrot or some suitable alternative, he’d nudge her hip with his nose with increasing vigor. Until she said no, that is. She had the gelding’s respect, and he knew to stay in line when she used her authoritative tone of voice. She could count on Ranger to give a hundred percent when she rode him, and she knew to hang on if she gave him his head in a wide-open field, because he would likely kick up his heels at the sense of freedom. When everything else in her life fell apart, she knew Ranger’s shoulder would be there to cry on.
Cat opened the gate, allowing only her horse to escape. While she secured the latch, Ranger moved his mouth from one tuft of grass to another. Then she slipped the halter over his nose. She ran the brush across his smooth back and had him saddled and bridled in record time. She picked up the reins and put her foot in the stirrup. Normally she would have changed into boots and jeans, but not today. Today she needed to escape—fast.
Ranger trotted down the driveway, shaking his head in excitement. It had been too long since Cat had ridden. Ty had taken all her free time lately. What a waste. But she’d make up for it. They were entering her favorite time of year. The fields were hard-packed and harvested, perfect for galloping across. Ranger jumped the ditch and Cat touched her heels to his side. He burst forward with more speed than a one-horsepower engine, making her wonder about the term.
She grabbed the saddle horn. Sure enough, Ranger crow-hopped once before settling into a gallop. She crossed the wheat field and slowed him to a walk at the filbert orchard. The canopy of leafy tree branches formed a natural roof, making it several degrees cooler in the shade. The chatter of squirrels looking for nuts filled the air. Alone, Cat released one sob after another—tears of betrayal, of sadness and anguish. They all burst forth in a rush as she leaned forward and buried her face in Ranger’s mane. How could she have let Ty wedge himself so firmly in her life? Since Eric died, she’d never opened her heart to anyone like she had with Ty. And look where it got her. “Never again,” she mumbled. “It isn’t worth the risk!” She cried her eyes dry, knowing she had to get it all out and move on. Her mother needed her. Danny needed her.
Cat released the slight pressure on the bit in Ranger’s mouth and urged him into a gallop again. She bent low over his neck as he ran through the trees. The setting sun nearly blinded her when they exited the orchard. Her horse cantered up the steep hill rising before them. When his breathing sounded labored, she sat back in the saddle. “Whoa, let’s walk, buddy.”
She pushed the images of Ty out of her mind, but it was useless. The harder she tried not to think of him, the more prominent he became in her memory.
She told herself it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Surely it was all an act—going to church, playing with Danny. But what had Ty hoped to get out of their relationship? It didn’t make sense. In fact, nothing about Cat’s life made sense anymore.
She imagined what Ashley might look like. She had set up a weekend trip to a beach house. Ty said he didn’t intend to stay, but before he met Cat, he obviously had. It made Cat sick to think he had probably been sleeping with the woman a few months ago.
It was well past dark when she unsaddled Ranger and turned him loose in the pasture. Danny should be asleep by now, so she’d break the news to him in the morning. She pulled her purse and keys from the truck and clicked the lock button as she walked away. Hopefully her mother hadn’t purchased tickets yet. With Ty apparently leaving for the beach on Friday, Cat had no intention of being here on Thursday if he came looking for her. She shook her head. After she’d slapped him across the face, she doubted he’d ever want to lay eyes on her again. Not that she wanted him to anyway. Plus, that despicable man had Ashley to go back to.
Cat trudged up the stairs to her mother’s room. Behind the partially closed door, the TV droned out the day’s top stories on the nightly news. She knocked. “Mom, can I talk to you?”
“Sure, honey. What’s going on?” her mom said, muting the TV.
Cat stopped in the doorway, not wanting to get close enough for her mom to see her smeared eye makeup. “Did you get your tickets to Idaho yet?”
“No, I thought I should check with you on flight times first. There’s a flight Friday at noon, but—”
Cat cut her mom off mid-sentence. “Mom, I’ll drive you. Danny and I are overdue for a trip to Idaho. It’s been a long time since Danny’s seen his Grandma and Grandpa Lewis and all the cousins. Plus I want to see Grandma Benson, too.”