Love's Miracles (26 page)

“Everything.”
He shrugged as he kicked off his sneakers.

Margo
sat down and tugged at her boots. The cool sand felt good slipping between her
bare toes. “Do you dream about what you’re missing holed up here by yourself?”

His
expression closed slightly, but then he glanced up and held her gaze. “Does
this seem bad to you?”

He
had a point. “This is paradise, but it means little unless there are people to
share it with.”

“You’re
here.”

“Temporarily,”
she insisted.

His
gaze probed for several long moments. Margo shifted beneath it, uncomfortable
with the possessive intensity, yet part of her responded. Perhaps she wouldn’t
mind spending time here on a permanent basis.

Suddenly,
the mood changed and his eyes crinkled with his smile. It brought an automatic
grin to her lips.

“Let’s
go in.” He started peeling off his tank top and jeans.

Intrigued
but not worried that he wouldn’t have a suit on underneath, Margo watched.
Bright blue nylon flashed before he took a running leap and sliced into the water.

It
didn’t take long for her to get ready. She hadn’t brought any of her swimsuits
north and even if she had she wouldn’t put one on. They were all far too
revealing to wear in front of Zane.

The
minute she stepped into the cool water she knew she’d made a mistake. The
cut-offs were fine. The large-size T-shirt, however, posed a different problem;
it clung to her like skin, and the light pink became transparent when wet.

Margo
groaned as she submerged. The loose folds of the shirt floated up and around her,
leaving her further exposed. Thankfully Zane was occupied, swimming between the
two large pools.

The
cold water instantly took the heat from her body. It lapped refreshingly across
her skin. She could float for days in here, she decided. Zane stroked by,
reminding her again of her predicament.

Maybe
she should get out and get the shirt dried before Zane joined her. Reluctantly,
she left the refreshing water and made her way to the blanket. Taking a towel,
she patted her shirt, trying to blot out as much moisture as possible. It
didn’t do much good.

Margo
glanced up at the giant redwoods that shaded most of the sandbar. She’d have to
relocate if she was going to dry out. Carefully, she made her way to the flat
boulder that jutted into the river. The rock was hard, but it felt warm on her
cold skin. She leaned back and let the bright rays do their work.

Ripples
gurgled past the rock. Rhythmic splashes alerted her to Zane’s whereabouts. He
was nearing her rock, and she braced upon her elbows to watch his progress.

His
body, sleek and moist, glistened in the sun. His strokes were smooth and
powerful and it was a pleasure to watch him swim. But then, she admitted, it
was a pleasure to watch him do anything: carve, hike, even sit.

Mid-stroke,
he glanced at her and headed toward the rock. Quickly, she sat upright, pulling
material away from her chest.

With
one powerful stroke, he hauled his upper torso onto the edge of the rock. His
bare legs dangled in the water where he continued to kick for balance.

“Aren’t
you going to swim?” he asked.

“I
think I’ll lie in the sun for a bit. It only took one dunking to cool me off,”
she lied.

He
grinned, the full-bodied grin that she loved to see crease the lines in his
cheeks and crinkle his eyes. “A pansy, huh? I don’t think I should let you get
away with that.”

“I’ll
swim later. I have to be good and toasted.” She’d wait until he was napping on
the blanket.

“There’s
a ledge you can climb on behind the waterfall. Come on in and I’ll show you.”

Margo
glanced at the water cascading into the pool. The idea of swimming over to it
did appeal to her. Tempted, she slid closer to the edge of the rock. The view
of Zane’s legs deterred her. She paused.

“Don’t
tell me you don’t swim?” He clamped his fingers around her ankle and gave a tug.

Her
reaction to his touch was instant. She stalled and stared into his eyes. The
glints of mischief disappeared, to be replaced by a dark gleam.

Suddenly,
his gaze shifted. His eyes widened while his grip tightened. She followed his
line of vision and noticed her shirt had plastered against her chest.

His
thumb traced the curve of her ankle. With a sudden flash of movement, Zane let
go of her and then slid into the water. He swam several laps before Margo
regained her composure enough to lie back on the rock and relax.

It
was time to get control of emotions and get to the business that brought her
here. As soon as Zane finished swimming they’d have a talk about his future
plans. Idyllic scenes like this dream pool brought too many other
considerations into being – the kind she had no business entertaining.

The
hot rays finally dried the thin material of her T-shirt. The cut-offs would
take longer, but that posed no problem. Suddenly, cold water trickled on her
sun-warmed skin. She screamed and sat up.

Laughter
surrounded her. She scowled, but her cheeks twitched from the smile she tried
to hold back. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Or
what? I’ve never taken threats well,” he warned. “Maybe I should show you how
mad they make me.”

With
a mock growl, he swam toward the rock and hefted himself out of the water.
Margo jumped out of the way and quickly headed for the sandbar.

“Don’t
you dare.” She tried to sound firm, but laughter ruined the effect.

Before
she reached the blanket, strong hands grabbed her waist. She swung around only
to find herself hoisted into his arms. Too stunned at first, she ended up
secure in his grasp. By the time her senses kicked into gear it was too late.
He rushed past the overhanging ferns and walked deeper and deeper into the water.
In agonizing seconds he was up to his waist.

“Don’t
you dare set me down.” She tried to protest as she clamped her arms tight
around his neck. “If I go in so do you.”

He
lifted her higher against his chest. “You deserve this, you know?”

“Do
I?” she asked and glanced into his eyes. They were as blue as the canopy of sky
overhead.

He
lowered her down. Icy water cooled her skin, but his touch heated. She forgot
to scream as she continued to hold him. Sudden longings welled and blocked out
the chills that bumped her flesh.

The
teasing glint left his eyes. He dropped her legs and let them float against
his.

“Are
you cooled off now?” he asked, his voice husky and low, still a little teasing.

She
shook her head. How could she be cool when her body was on fire? “Are you?”

He
didn’t answer except to pull her body closer. His muscles flexed as his arms
tightened. Gentle fingers massaged her back. She kicked her feet and pushed
against his chest, needing to get out of his grasp.

“Are
you worried?” He smiled.

She
shook her head.

A
sadness filled his eyes and he loosened his hold. “I’d never want to hurt you.”

Margo
swam out of his arms and trod water. “You’re more gentle than you like to
admit.”

“But
there’re things I’ve done that…”

“Let’s
go to shore and talk about it. Now’s the time.”

The
conflict of indecision showed on his face as he stared. Finally he nodded
before turning and swimming to the river’s edge. Water dripped from his body as
he waded to shore and crossed the bar of sand where the blanket was spread. Shade
from the nearby trees still crept across the secluded spot.

Margo
found her footing and stood to wring out her T-shirt as best she could. It
still clung, but she didn’t need to worry about it now. Zane sat, his gaze
focused on the tops of the cliffs and his brow furrowed in contemplation. She
settled on the other side of the blanket. Before she could initiate the
conversation he started speaking.

“You
want to discuss the past, but I’m not concerned with that. It’s over and done
with. History. What worries me is the future. I’m afraid to think of it –
afraid not to.”

“I
can understand that,” she agreed. “But the future hinges on the past. What has
gone before can undermine your confidence or eat away at your sense of worth.
You need to discuss it with your therapist.”

“Am
I really that far gone? You act as if I’ve dropped off the deep end.”

She
stared into his eyes. He’d been stable this weekend. He’d taught her how to
carve, and taught her the names of the local plants and animals. He’d even made
her realize things about herself she’d never considered, not for a long time
anyway. She’d been sent here to help Zane and, as it turned out, he’d done as
much for her.

Often
she’d wondered if he really needed any help. Many times she didn’t think so.
Most of the time she could swear he was more normal than she. But at moments
like this, she realized there was something troubling him; something deep
inside.

“You’ve
isolated yourself from family and friends. Dropped out, so to speak. You claim
it’s because of the decision with the fishing boat. But a single incident like
that doesn’t send a man running to the hills.”

He
frowned and she quickly went on. “My guess would be another decision made years
ago or even a series of poor choices has made you suddenly wary of making
more.”

Zane
didn’t respond but sat tense and strained. The veins in his temple and neck
raised and sweat beaded on his upper lip.

Margo
continued. “It could be something you’ve done or something you witnessed that
is festering in your subconscious.”

“And
how is talking about it supposed to help?” True interest lay hidden in his
sarcastic tone. “What’s done is done.”

“For
one thing it gets it out in the open where you can examine it from all sides.
Take the decision about the fishing boat. You may feel guilt about your choice
of action. That’s the gut-level reaction because men almost lost their lives.”
Engrossed in her theory, Margo tucked her legs under her and turned to face
Zane. Not even the allure of the waterfall or the call of birds could distract
her when she became serious and involved.

“But
when you discuss and analyze the situation you see why you had to make the
choice you did. It doesn’t alter the outcome, but it helps you to understand
the motivations behind it. We’re human, Zane. We make bad choices. The thing to
do is learn from them and move on.”

“Sometimes
the lesson carries a high price. If those men had died…”

Margo
waited for him to continue and when he didn’t she spoke, her voice quiet and
sure. “If they had died, do you think you’re going to be better off by burying
the experience?

“
Me
?
What about them? Their families?”

“You
take the lesson and examine it, Zane. You may have the same decision to make
again.”

He
balled his hands into fists and pounded them into the blanket-covered sand
between his legs. “Maybe I don’t want that responsibility.”

“Or
any decision involving people’s lives?”

Abruptly
he stood and paced to the edge of the river. The sunlight contoured the muscles
that flexed from the inner turmoil. Tension radiated from him, sending waves of
it across the beach to attack Margo’s heart. She held her hand out, silently
offering comfort that she had no right to give.

For
endless minutes he stared across the river. Margo took a deep breath and
lowered her hand. The waterfall splashed its rhythm into the void of silence.
She closed her eyes and silently prayed.

How
could she walk away from this man when he’d let her see his pain? It wasn’t
fair that she cared too much. If only she’d met him in different circumstances
– not as a psychologist but as a friend.

At
first she didn’t hear his voice, but its strength grew and carried back to her.
“You’re right. There’re some things I need to talk about. Dig up and get out.”

Her
shoulders sagged with relief as she offered silent thanks. Tears burned the
backs of her eyes, but she quickly blinked them back. She cleared her throat
before speaking. “Have you looked over the list I gave you?”

He
swiveled to face her, his expression puzzled. “I don’t want a stranger. I want
to talk to you.”

“Not
as your therapist.”

“As
my friend then?”

Margo
tried to swallow, but emotion clogged her throat. “I hope I’m your friend. And
if you believe I am, you’ll understand that you can’t open up to me about those
buried memories. Not now. Not until you’ve dealt with them.”

He
came to the blanket and knelt in front of her. The heat from his sun-warmed
skin radiated to her. The honest longing in his eyes melted her heart. He
reached across the space and brushed back a strand of hair, his fingers barely
touching her cheek.

“Is
there anything we can talk about?”