Loving (25 page)

Bailey’s senses were heightened, her heart and soul aware of Brandon’s every move. He looked at her, his eyes sparkling in the pretty light from the lamps behind them. For a few seconds he seemed to struggle for words, but then he held up the envelope. “Inside is the contract. The one thing —” He paused and looked down. When he looked up his eyes were damp again. “The one thing that could’ve stopped me from being with you.” With shaking hands he ripped the envelope open and sifted handfuls of little white pieces over the logs in the fire pit.

Without saying a word he took the matches and almost ceremoniously lit one. Then he held it near the paper. Bailey felt her knees tremble. She’d never felt like this in all her life. She was on her feet, drawn to the scene; mesmerized as she moved to the edge of the fire pit. She watched as the ripped-apart contract acted as kindling for the fire. A fire that Bailey understood now would never go out.

“Baby …” He stood slowly and came to her. With the fire crackling beside them, he took her hands. “Nothing is going to come between us again.” The tears in his eyes fell onto his cheeks. “I don’t need another movie or another dollar … or another day being chased by paparazzi.” He put his hand alongside her face, lost in her eyes. “I must’ve been crazy not to see it before.”

“It was me too.” She wiped at the tears on her own cheeks. “I never should’ve left you. If you wanted to live on the moon I should’ve been willing.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “I love you that much, Brandon. I do.”

They came together in a hug and Bailey could no longer tell where her soul ended and his began. No one had ever understood her like Brandon did.

As he stepped back, he searched her eyes. “You deserve better than me, Bailey. My past … it’s so different from yours.”

“That’s not—”

He shook his head slightly and touched his finger softly to
her lips. “Wait.” He looked more intent, more serious than before. “Here’s the thing.” He looked at her in a way that saw all of her heart. “I know I’m undeserving, but I’m a new man in Christ. That’s why I haven’t stopped fighting for you, going after you, and believing … that with God’s forever kind of love I can be the one-in-a-million guy you deserve. Because that’s what redemption looks like.”

Her tears came harder now. Wasn’t this what she had wanted for so many years? A love that would go after her, fight for her, lay itself bare for her? “I’m not perfect either. No one is.”

“You’re close.” He smiled and ran his thumb lightly over her cheek. “Remember when we came to the lake that first time? You told me I didn’t really want you … I wanted your faith. Remember that?”

Bailey nodded. “Yes.” With all her being she never wanted this moment or the closeness between them to end. “I remember.”

“You were right. What I was drawn to in you … what I’m still drawn to is your faith, the way you love God and people. That’s why you deserve so much.” He smiled again. “Not really because you’re perfect. But because He is.”

Every word, everything he said was exactly how she had always felt. It was how she had hoped Cody would feel, only Cody never got this very simple truth and so he had run from her. Brandon ran too. But because he understood about redemption, he had run toward her.

Always toward her.

They hugged again and this time he framed her face with his hands. As he did, from somewhere in the nearby bushes came the beautiful sound of the same song Brandon had played for her in the car. Francesca Battistelli’s “Forever Love.” The music wasn’t too loud or overwhelming. But it made the entire moment feel like a scene from the most beautiful love story ever written.

Brandon searched her eyes and quietly sang along. “You are my forever love … you’re my forever love.”

“I love you.” She clung to him, her face close to his. “I always will.”

And with that, as if all her life had led to this moment, his eyes welled up again and he dropped slowly to one knee.

Bailey’s hand flew to her mouth and she took a half step backwards. Because how could God love her enough to clear away every obstacle, every hesitation, and bring her to this moment? All her life she’d prayed about the man she would marry, prayed for him and dreamed of him and asked God to lead him to her.

And now …

She held her breath and watched as he pulled a small box from his pocket. No matter what else happened in all her life she would remember this moment, every rustle of wind in the trees and the smell and sound of the fire. Honeysuckle sweet in the summer air, the soft lighting all around and the song filling the spaces between them. And the absolute pure and all-consuming look of love on Brandon Paul’s face.

She would remember all of it.

“Bailey …” He held out the ring to her. The glow from the moon on the lake and the fire beside them shone on his face, while the soft lights on the other side erased any shadows that might have otherwise fallen over the moment. “Let me love you, let me lead you and protect you. Marry me, Bailey … Please marry me?”

There was no hesitating. “Yes, Brandon. Yes, a million times, yes.” She put her hands on his shoulders so she wouldn’t fall from the weight of emotion and love and caring she felt overflowing from her heart. Here on this sacred lakeside path God was giving them both a miracle and her yes was as easy as her next breath.

He was still lost in her eyes, but he stood now and slipped the ring on her finger. Only then did Bailey notice details of the
diamond. It was beautiful, a circle so multifaceted that it caught every sort of light and shone it to the heavens, the way their love would always shine as long as her heart beat. And the spray of light from the stone would always celebrate the love they had found in each other.

With that he raised his fist in the air and stared up at the starry night sky. “She said yes!” After shouting his excitement, he pulled her close and kissed her, the sort of kiss that took her breath and made her forget where they were. He hugged her and then picked her up and twirled her in a circle. “Yes!” His voice rang with a deep and very great joy. “I’m marrying Bailey Flanigan!”

Bailey laughed with him and when he settled down again she held his face in her hands and let herself get lost in his eyes. “And I’m marrying Brandon Paul.” She wasn’t loud like him, but victory rang in her tone as well. She was finally past all the wondering and doubting and trying to move on without him. She put her hands on his shoulders and wondered if she’d ever mean any words more in all her life. “I will love you till the day I die.” For a few seconds she laughed in disbelief. “I can’t believe this. I thought you were mad at me. I thought I’d spend the rest of my days regretting not flying to LA this weekend. I was so afraid, Brandon.”

“No, baby. You had nothing to worry about.” He kissed her and his tone grew softer, more serious again. “Because perfect love drives out fear. Remember?”

This was a new and more mature Brandon Paul, and Bailey could feel herself falling hard for him, finding new ways to love him and want him and believe in him. “Forever love.” She smiled. “Nothing could be more perfect than that.”

“You know what else forever love does?” His eyes danced and he became again the familiar fun-loving Brandon, the one who made her laugh and love life and see colors where before there were only grays.

“What?” She caught the teasing vibe and took a step back. The ring on her finger felt absolutely wonderful and she glanced at it for a few seconds.

“Well …” He shaded his eyes and squinted in the direction of the bushes between the two light posts. “Perfect love looks great on video.”

“What?” She grabbed a quick breath and looked to her right. “Video?”

At that moment Bailey’s brother Connor and a friend of his from the football team stepped out of the bushes, laughing and clapping and beaming with joy. Connor raised a small video camera high in the air. “I always wanted to be a director.”

Bailey couldn’t believe the extent of Brandon’s surprise. “You videotaped this?”

Connor answered for him, “Yep. Got the whole thing.” He set the camera down on the log bench. At the same time, Connor’s expression softened, and his eyes met Bailey’s. “Congratulations!” He hugged her. “I’m so happy for you guys.” Connor looked at Brandon and back to Bailey. “You’ve been through a lot. But no one’s ever appreciated you and loved you the way Brandon does.”

The night would’ve been perfect without her brother’s words, but this only made the moment that much better. The fact that her brother — who knew everything about her past — could see Brandon was the right guy. The one who understood her and loved her the most.

Connor’s friend held both fists in the air. “I can’t believe we got to watch!” The kid had been over to the house before, and he’d met Brandon a few weeks ago. He shook his head, his grin filling his face. “Seriously. This is the coolest thing!”

Bailey laughed and slipped her arms around Brandon’s waist. He held her in a way that made her feel safe and special and cherished and loved. She leaned on his shoulder while Connor launched into an explanation of how they’d set up the scene and
how his friend’s amateur moviemaking helped him get the perfect lighting and how amazing it was to watch the scene from the bushes. The whole time a million thoughts fought for position in Bailey’s heart. But at the top of the list was the most obvious: They needed to stop and thank God, now before the moment got away.

At a brief break in Connor’s story, Bailey opened her mouth to suggest they all pray, but at the same time she felt a stirring of the Holy Spirit in her soul.

Wait, daughter … let him lead
.

She closed her mouth and stayed where she was, listening to Connor’s story.

Yes, Lord …

As soon as Connor finished, Brandon looked at the boys and finally to her, where his eyes remained. “Would it be okay if we prayed? All of us?”

Bailey loved the way Brandon included her brother in this moment. The two of them would be family soon, and this would be a time they would all remember forever. They held hands as Brandon led the prayer. His voice confident and clear and brimming with an otherworldly joy, he thanked God and asked for His blessing over their engagement and their marriage. He promised to love and lead Bailey through every season of life, and he asked God to keep men like Dayne Matthews close by so he could continue to grow as a man and as the husband Bailey needed.

Through it all Bailey could only stay close to Brandon, amazed at it all. Through the prayer and as they drove back into town and stopped at Ashley and Landon’s old Baxter farmhouse, and through the surprise engagement party with her family and the Baxters that Brandon had secretly staged for her. Through telling her parents and watching the video Connor and his friend had shot and while showing off her ring and retelling the story of his proposal again and again and again.

As the party wound down, Brandon wrapped his arms
around her. “I’ll never forget tonight, the way love felt looking in your eyes.”

She grinned. This was why she never wanted to spend another day away from Brandon Paul. The way he talked to her, the way love felt fresh with him and like they were the only two people in the world. “I’m still trying to believe it.” She smiled. “That you love me this much.”

“Or that a girl like you would really love me back.”

They hugged once more, not wanting to let go. Again awe and wonder spread like adrenaline through her heart and chill bumps ran down her arms. God was right — she needed to give Brandon the chance to lead. The guy she loved had grown so much deeper in his beliefs, gone through so much these past months while they were apart. Bailey could rest in the safety of his faith for a lifetime and here in this moment. She had nothing to fear about that or anything else when she was with Brandon. Because God had brought him to her, and He had given them this:

Forever love.

J
ENNY HAD ALWAYS KNOWN THAT WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR
Bailey’s wedding, the two of them would find a way to be even closer than they’d been all her life. By mid-October, life was playing out exactly that way. She and Bailey and Brandon had already shared so many beautiful moments thinking about and planning the wedding day that Jenny woke each morning thanking God for this season.

She sat with Bailey that Saturday morning at Starbucks across from the Indiana University campus going over the details already in place. The smell of coffee and the comfortable sound of half a dozen quiet conversations filled the air. Outside the sun shone against the bluest sky, while leaves in every shade of red and yellow and orange fluttered from the trees outside. October shouting to all the world that God would make all things beautiful in His time.

Bailey had the notebook in front of her, the one Jenny had made for her and Brandon to hold contracts and documents associated with the wedding. They had opted to do the planning themselves and not seek help with details until the last month. So far they were all glad for the chance to work together.

For a minute, Bailey thumbed through the book and Jenny simply watched her, the way her long hair hung in pretty layers around her face and how the glow since her proposal had stayed with her.
No bride-to-be ever looked more beautiful
, Jenny thought.

Bailey flipped to the page with the church contract. “I know
we have the documents here, but the secretary at church called last week and thought they had a conflict for March sixteenth.” She uttered a nervous laugh. “That would’ve changed everything.”

Jenny wasn’t worried. “We would’ve worked something out. Especially since we already have the contract.” It was the first detail they’d nailed down, especially after Bailey and Brandon decided they didn’t want to wait a long time before the wedding. “This is half the fun, dealing with the little conflicts.”

Bailey took a sip of her coffee and smiled. “That’s what I love about you, Mom. You see the good in every situation.”

“Most of the time.” She made a silly face. “That lady at IU in charge of the ballroom? Definitely more of a struggle.”

“Dear old Tammy.” Bailey smiled, and her eyes sparkled with a hint of teasing. “She’s just had a lot of bad days.”

“But we’ve got the ballroom.” Jenny gave her daughter two thumbs up. “That one’s locked in too.”

In all, the wedding was coming together better and faster than Jenny expected. It really wasn’t that hard, planning such a beautiful event. They expected around three hundred guests — extended family, of course, and special people like the Baxters and the Kellers, along with close connections from the Indianapolis Colts organization and Clear Creek High and Christian Kids Theater. Of course, some of Brandon’s long-term Los Angeles friends would be invited, too. The media had covered the story like it was the hottest news of the year. Brandon Paul was officially off the market. Talk in the tabloids had every rag guessing about their wedding day. Everyone figured it would be unforgettable.

Jenny sipped her latte and thanked God that she could be here, sharing this time with her only daughter. Especially after the sad goodbye they’d shared a few years ago. Again, God had made all things work together in His timing.

“Okay.” Jenny folded her hands on the table. “Why don’t you go over what we’re sure about?”

Bailey turned to the beginning of the book. “Besides the church and reception sites, we have the mobile coffee people.” She looked up. “Which I love, by the way. That’s going to be so great.”

“I agree.” Neither Bailey nor Brandon wanted alcohol at their wedding — not because they had a problem with other people having a drink. But because in light of Brandon’s past they wanted to mark their wedding date without it. The coffee bar had been Brandon’s idea, and everyone loved it.

Bailey stopped and her expression changed. “Speaking of coffee. Did I tell you I talked to Brandon’s parents?”

“What?” Jenny brought her voice down a notch. Brandon’s parents hadn’t been part of any discussions. He hadn’t talked to them yet, despite Bailey’s occasional suggestion that he do so. “Does he know?”

“I told him I might do it!” She smiled, clearly at peace with the decision. “He wasn’t sure, but he told me if God led me to make the call I could find their number in his phone. So when he was working at the computer one day, I found their number and called.”

“Were they surprised.”

“Shocked.” Her eyes softened. “I told them we were engaged and that I wanted them at the wedding.” She hesitated. “His mom started crying when I said that part. Then she said she didn’t think Brandon would want them there.”

“What’d you say?”

“I told her Brandon wanted reconciliation. And maybe the wedding was the perfect chance to find it.”

“Wow!” Jenny set her coffee down. “I don’t know. Maybe sooner. That’s a lot of emotion for one day.”

“That’s what Brandon said. He’s going to call them soon, maybe work out something where they can fly out sooner.” She took another sip of her drink. “He asked me to ask you and Dad to pray. For reconciliation and a new start. It’s hard on Brandon,
the distance between him and his parents.” She still looked sad. “He doesn’t talk about it, but the silence between them breaks his heart. Mine, too. He’s wanted to call them … but it’s never felt like the right time.” A smile lifted her lips. “He was glad I made the first move.”

“We’ll pray.” Jenny thought about her daughter’s bold determination to see healing in this part of Brandon’s life. “For all of it.”

“Thanks.” Bailey smiled and gradually the hurt lifted. “Let’s see.” She flipped through a few pages of the book. “We have the videographer and photographer contracts here. I’m so, so excited about that, Mom.” She angled her head, giving Jenny the sweetest look. “That was amazing, doing that for us.”

“It was fun.” Jenny remembered her and Bailey looking through one website after another trying to find a photographer who seemed to have the ability to capture the kind of love Bailey and Brandon shared. “I think we have the perfect team lined up.”

“Definitely.” Bailey studied the paperwork in front of her. “The florist is working up a bid … the twinkling-lights people are doing the same.”

“I love that you’re getting twinkling lights.”

“The whole reception will be magical.” She grinned at Jenny. “Twinkling lights will be perfect.”

Even so
, Jenny thought,
they could never match the light in Bailey’s eyes
. The way her grown-up daughter would look that night. As they finished their coffee they talked about having a runner down the center aisle of the church, and how Bailey was hoping for bows draped from one pew to the next along either side.

“Of course, there’s still the dress.” Jenny raised her brow and laughed. “We never seem to talk about that.”

“I know.” Bailey’s grin turned sheepish. “We’ve looked through every wedding magazine.” She shrugged lightly. “I still haven’t found one I like.”

“Maybe if we went in person.” Jenny wasn’t worried yet, but if Bailey didn’t find something by the end of November they could run into some time constraints.

“We will. Very soon.” Bailey sat back as if the idea almost exhausted her. “I think I’m avoiding it. Like, what if I don’t find one? Maybe I’ll just get married in something comfortable.”

Jenny smiled. “Okay. Jeans and a T-shirt.” She stifled a laugh. “Is that what you want?”

Bailey giggled. “You know me too well.” She sighed. “I want the pretty dress, the train, something timeless and elegant and vintage and sexy and fashionable.” She flashed a weak smile. “All in one dress. Which is why I’m avoiding shopping.”

“We could look this afternoon.” Jenny liked the idea. “There’s that boutique just off town square a few blocks away. Ashley told me they have hundreds of dresses. From designer to originals made right here in Bloomington.”

“No.” Bailey let the last part of the word trail off for a moment, like the note of a song. She closed the book and her face lit up. “I have an idea.” The joy in her voice was contagious. “Let’s get pedicures. We haven’t done that in so long.”

“Hmmm.” Jenny checked the time on her phone. Just after four. The guys would want dinner at home in an hour or so. “Maybe if we just ran into the boutique for a few minutes. They close at five, so we wouldn’t have long.”

Bailey wrinkled her nose and gave a polite shake of her head. “Pedicures sounds more fun.”

“We might not have time.” Jenny did her best to sound enthusiastic. “Come on … you don’t have to try anything on. Just take a look. If you don’t like anything, we at least know we need to go into the city, or maybe do something crazy like take a mother-daughter shopping trip to New York. A quick look would at least give us a little direction.”

“That’s very nice, Mom. But I don’t know.” Bailey looked
about as excited as when she spent the day cleaning her room. “Can I admit something?”

“Sure.” Jenny sat back, trying to hear her daughter’s heart. Bailey had always been different from other girls her age, and this was one of those moments. She hadn’t kept a scrapbook of wedding-dress styles and floral arrangements dreaming of her perfect wedding. Instead she’d kept a journal, dreaming about her perfect guy.

Bailey took a deep breath. “Okay, the thing is, even though I love the thought of shopping with you for my wedding dress, I think I’d rather walk in and find it right away. Then we can have fun with other things and I won’t be stressed about the dress.”

“Hmmm. Could be a new reality show. ‘Stressed About the Dress.’” Jenny laughed, and Bailey did the same.

Finally Bailey dragged herself to her feet. “I won’t find one.” She gave Jenny a wary smile. “But okay, fine. Let’s go look.”

“Just a look!” Jenny felt a thrill at the idea. She hadn’t dreamed about this for Bailey, either. But now that they were in this special time, she cherished the idea of sorting through bridal gowns looking for the right dress for her only girl.

At least this would be a start.