Loving Tenderness (10 page)

“Maybe they’ll hold him longer this time.”

“The lawyer told me that in Michigan, not complying with a protection order is called criminal contempt. He should get at least three months.” Her heart skipped. “I hope so, anyway.”

Hannah let the topic slide and turned to her work. As she discarded the burnt chocolate, her thoughts shifted to JJ. He’d always been a good boy even though he’d witnessed so many things a child shouldn’t see. She’d protected him the best she could, but sometimes she felt alone and afraid. Her courage waned and her strength faded when dealing with Jack. He would be in her life forever, unless…

Jenni’s words came into her mind—the Lord keeps His promises. With God anything is possible. JJ’s “fruits” popped into Hannah’s thoughts, making her smile. She pictured the yellow paper banana with the word
peace
written in bold letters—a peace that passes all understanding. That was God’s promise. Hannah let a prayer rise as she worked.
Lord, give me that kind of peace. Give me faith that doesn’t weaken in stress. Give me hope because mine has faded.
The telephone’s ring
jarred her from her reflections, and she glanced up to see Jenni beckoning her. “It’s for you.”

“Me?” She pressed her index finger into her chest.

“Yes, it’s Andrew.”

Hannah pulled off her plastic gloves and grasped the receiver, more than surprised to hear Andrew’s voice on the line. “I’m sorry to call you at work, Hannah, but I can’t sleep, thinking about you. I’m going crazy here and we need to talk. Please.”

Andrew’s words rang in her ears. Her heart had already softened. She’d known Andrew’s crusade was only to help her, but she still didn’t like it. But she’d missed him the past week and hadn’t slept well, either. “We can’t talk now.”

“I know. Could I see you tonight? I thought maybe dinner, and then we’ll pick up JJ and visit Jemma. She’s so much better, and I thought you’d like to see little Philip Junior.”

“Philip Junior. So that’s what they named him.”

“My brother figured it was his last chance for a namesake.”

Her chuckle relieved her stress. “I’d love to go. I’ll see you tonight.” Hannah hung up the phone, still hearing Andrew’s excited voice. He loved children. He’d shown that with JJ, but new questions hung in her mind. How could she tell him about her pregnancy? And how would he react?

“H
e’s beautiful,” Hannah said, leaning over the baby’s bassinet. “What do you think, JJ?”

The child tiptoed to get closer. “He’s small.”

“He sure is,” Hannah said. “You were that small once.”

JJ looked at her questioningly, then lifted one of the baby’s fingers and stared at it before comparing its size to his own.

Jemma chuckled. “The baby looks like Philip, don’t you think?”

Hannah gazed at the newborn and then at Jemma. “He has your eyes, I think. Either way, he’ll be a handsome young man.”

Jemma nodded. “I’m so grateful for this blessing.”

With a mother’s love, Hannah pressed her hand against her belly. A blessing lived inside of her, but she hadn’t accepted it with joy. Questions still rolled around in her mind. What would she do? Would her meager insurance cover the expense? How would she work and pay for childcare? JJ would begin kindergarten in September, and she’d had the wonderful
hope of having a little extra income for their needs. Now, a baby.

JJ’s interest soon waned, and he skipped from the room, his voice ringing as he told Andrew about seeing the newborn.

Jemma gave Hannah a serious look. “Is something wrong?”

Hannah lifted her head and let her hand slip from its resting place. “I’m fine. I’m just thinking about all you’ve been through.”

“But look,” Jemma said, gesturing toward the baby. “He’s worth every minute of it.”

Hannah made no comment but gazed at the lovely child.

Jemma leaned over and snapped off the yellow duck table lamp. A small night-light glowed near the door, and Hannah headed for the doorway while Jemma gave a final look at her son before following her.

When Hannah stepped into the living room, she saw JJ playing by the toy box with Ellie. As she approached the group around the fireplace, Philip rose. “What do you think of my boy?”

“He’s handsome as can be,” she said, wondering if Philip also agreed that it had been worth nearly losing his wife for the new baby.

As if hearing her question, Philip motioned for her to be seated, and when she did, he sat, too, then folded his hands between his legs and shook his head. “You know for a fleeting moment, I asked God why He’d given us the joy of a son but threatened to take the child’s mother—my wife—but in a moment, I calmed, reassured by the Lord’s promises.”

“What do you mean?” Hannah asked, unable to be
lieve a man would feel calm in the midst of possibly losing his wife.

“Here,” he said, lifting a Bible from the lamp table beside him. “I’ve kept it right here. I marked the scripture, because the words struck me as I sat there so disheartened and angry. Can you believe? I was so angry at God.”

Thinking of her own situation, Hannah could believe it.

Andrew shifted on the sofa beside Hannah and slid his arm across the back cushion. “We’ve all been there, Philip. Even when we cause our own pain, we blame God.”

“I suppose,” he said, then lowered his gaze to the Bible. “But these verses came to me as if someone spoke them. They’re from Romans 28.” He lowered his gaze and read, “‘And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.’”

Philip lifted his head as his gaze settled for a moment on each of them. “Do you see what I mean?”

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God.
The words washed over Hannah. She needed to believe that promise with all her heart. She lowered her hand, feeling the rounding flesh and knowing her body was giving life to a new creation. Warmth spread through her and a renewed sense of determination.

She glanced at JJ still occupied with Ellie and the blocks. Pride filled her. Her son had turned out to be a loving, wonderful child. Why did she worry? She’d struggled most of her life. This new challenge wouldn’t be that different, and instead of sorrow, she would have joy, a baby to love and to nurture.

She eyed Jemma’s pale face, recalling what she’d gone through to bring her child into the world. Hannah’s problems seemed like nothing in the vast scheme of things.
Lord, give me courage and help me to take the challenge. This child is Your plan. Let me be the best I can be, and whatever happens, Lord, I know You’ll be by my side.

The conversation floated past her while plans settled into her head. She needed to attend church regularly. She’d been strong and faith-filled years ago. God hadn’t abandoned her. She’d abandoned God. Today she would come home just as Andrew had returned to Loving—humble and anxious, but home.

“Are we there yet?” JJ asked, trying to lean over the car seat but restricted by the seat belt.

Andrew laughed. “I guess that’s the typical question, isn’t it?”

“Unending,” Hannah said. She glanced behind her. “Only a few more minutes.”

“I’m glad you agreed to come to Philip’s party. He does this every Fourth of July for the employees.”

“What happens with the resort guests? Bay Breeze must be busy over the holiday.”

“It is, but Philip holds it on the grounds so the working staff can enjoy some of the festivities. Anyway, the resort has plenty of room.” He studied her a moment. “Haven’t you ever been to Bay Breeze?”

“Never. I know it’s along Harbor Drive but I’ve never had a reason to come down this far. I usually only go as far as the park.”

“The grounds are large. The resort has a golf course and tennis courts. You’ll enjoy it. And then tonight is the fireworks.”

“I should have JJ home by then.”

“No need to worry. Jemma’s leaving with the children so she agreed to take JJ home with her. I hope you don’t mind that I asked.”

To Andrew’s pleasure, Hannah’s expression reflected her acceptance. “Thanks. I usually miss the fireworks.”

“I hoped you’d agree.” He’d made those plans with apprehension. In the days since they had visited Philip and Jemma’s new baby, he’d realized how fragile Hannah’s mood had become. She’d always been determined and wanted to take care of things, but lately, he’d watched her change from one mood to another in a second. He suspected something was going on, but so far he didn’t know what, and he’d stopped himself from asking Jenni. He figured if anyone did, she would know what was up.

“I’m glad I saw you in church,” Hannah said, “I knew you were upset with me, and—”

“
You
were upset with
me,
Hannah. I was confused.”

She gave him a repentant look. “I know. It’s hard to explain. You do things out of kindness, but it’s difficult for me to accept that without thinking you have an ulterior motive.”

The word
motive
triggered Andrew’s discomfort. He’d realized that his initial charitable motivation had eased into something far deeper and more meaningful. What had once been his attempt to redeem himself with
the Lord had now become something far more personal. He couldn’t go an hour without thinking of Hannah and JJ. Today as he gazed at her, he longed to run his fingers through the length of her wavy hair and press his mouth against her supple, well-formed lips. The image sent his stomach into a cartwheel.

“I’d like to clear the air today if we can find some quiet time,” Andrew said, longing to slip his hand over hers. “What do you say?” Her shy look bounded through his chest.

“I think it’s time.”

“Good.” He smiled at her winsome gaze, then concentrated on the drive. JJ wanted to get there, and if he dallied any longer, he’d have one unhappy boy in the back seat.

When they arrived at Bay Breeze, Andrew pointed to the large white tent far back on the property just below the golf course. As they neared, a sign notified guests that it was a private party. Beneath the white canvas, the sun’s heat vanished while a pleasant breeze blew past, smelling of the lake and sunshine.

As Andrew moved deeper beneath the shelter, new aromas met him. “That barbecue smells great,” he said, steering her toward a table where his sister-in-law sat holding the baby.

“Hi,” Jemma said, her smile as warm as the day. “Glad you could come, Hannah.” She caught JJ’s eye. “How are you?”

“Fine,” he said, sidling nearer to gaze at the baby.

Hannah’s heart swelled as Jemma lowered the blanket so JJ could see the baby’s face.

“He’s still small,” he said.

Hannah laughed, loving the feeling. “It takes a while
for babies to grow up. It took almost five years for you to grow as big as you are.”

JJ seemed to ponder that idea. Soon Ellie found him, and they ran off with the other children.

“May I hold him?” Hannah asked.

“Certainly,” Jemma said, lifting the baby upward so Hannah could take him into her arms. She nestled the child against her chest, filled with a new joy. The scent of talcum powder and milk filled her nostrils, sending her on a journey back to five years earlier when she’d held JJ in her arms.

“You look good holding that baby,” Andrew said, coming alongside her. “Some women are meant to be mothers.”

Hannah’s heart jolted, wondering if he’d guessed. She needed to tell him, but she hadn’t found the courage. What would he say? What would he think? What would he do? She avoided responding by nuzzling her cheek against the baby’s downy head while she drew in the precious newborn scent. Finally, she released the child back to Jemma’s care and settled into a chair.

Time passed as people dropped by to chat. She and Andrew enjoyed some of the wonderful dishes, and they watched the children play, but Hannah’s mind kept drifting back to Andrew’s earlier suggestion that they clear the air. She longed to talk with him, and she needed to tell him about the court proceedings and Jack. She also yearned for the courage to tell him about her pregnancy.

Finally Andrew took her hand and drew her from the chair. “Will you keep an eye on JJ for us a few minutes?” he asked Jemma. “We want to take a private walk.”

“Sure thing,” Jemma said, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “Take all the time you need.”

Andrew beckoned Hannah toward the sidewalk, and they followed the winding path around the tennis courts and past the outbuildings to the snack bar and pool area of the resort. Breathing in the fragrance of flowers edging the path, she followed him along the sidewalk beside the building and down the hill to the water’s edge.

“I hate to ruin a beautiful day, but I need to talk about Jack while we’re alone,” Hannah began. “I didn’t want to talk in front of JJ, but I thought you’d want to know what happened.”

“What happened?” Her meaning seemed to register, and Andrew looked at her seriously. “In court.”

She nodded. “The judge gave him ninety days and a five-hundred-dollar fine.”

“So you have three months reprieve.”

“Yes.” Her face brightened. “Three whole months to live without worry.” She bounced as she took the steps. “So let’s not talk about that anymore. Today, let’s celebrate.”

He seemed to understand and squeezed her hand.

At the bottom of the incline, they stopped, and Hannah drank in the fresh breeze from Lake Michigan, the unique aroma of water, wet sand and fish hidden in the depths of the great lake. “It’s beautiful,” she said, gazing at the diamond-studded whitecaps that rolled to shore.

“So are you,” Andrew said.

His comment jarred her—so unexpected, so foreign. She arched a brow, wondering where the comment had come from. “Thanks, but I—”

His smile faded. “I know you’re surprised, but I mean it.” He linked her arm in his and guided her onto the boardwalk that followed the beach to the lighthouse pier.

“I need you to explain things,” Hannah said after struggling with what had just happened. “We’ve be
come friends. I’ve understood that to a degree, but not totally. You’re so out of my league, Andrew.”

“Out of your league. What does that mean? I told you I’m not even in the minor leagues if you compare me to Philip. Don’t you understand?”

His serious expression made her realize that maybe she didn’t. “I know you left home to make your own way. When you didn’t succeed, you came back, feeling humbled and disappointed in yourself.”

“It’s deeper than that. I fell into an abyss, a hole so deep I saw hell.”

Hell?
The tremor in his voice captured her attention, and for the first time, she understood how deeply he’d suffered from his past mistakes. “No matter what you did, you grew up with that silver spoon they talk about. You have an education. You came from a family that knows which fork and knife to use at a fancy dinner.”

“Do you think forks and knives or silver spoons are what’s important in life?”

His despairing tone turned bitter. She stopped and touched his arm. “I’m not making light of your problems, Andrew. I’m sure those years were difficult. You found yourself in a lifestyle you’d never known before.”

“I found myself in iniquity. I drank too much. I lied and sometimes cheated. I toyed with sexual favors on the pretense I was someone important. I threw my father’s hard-earned money away on sin. I’m poor, Hannah. I have nothing to call my own.”

“But look around you—” She gestured toward the expanse of the resort. Her hand trembled, hearing his confession.

“This belongs to Philip. I work for my brother. I’m salaried like any employee here. I explained that.”

Hannah had felt no reaction to Andrew calling himself poor. He seemed far richer than she had ever been. He had a steady job, a nice home, an education. “Are you happy?”

“I’m happy to be home. I’m happy to have met you and JJ. I’m content.”

“Then that’s all that counts. What more could you want?”

A new look edged across Andrew’s face. “I want forgiveness.”

Forgiveness? “But you have that. You told me about the party—the fatted calf, remember?”

“Philip forgave me. My father even forgave me, and I try to convince myself that God has forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself for the hurt I caused my family.”