Luck of the Irish (14 page)

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have pushed it. It just makes me sad, you know?” Quinn nuzzled his face into the juncture of Cian’s neck. He kissed the skin softly and smiled when Cian shivered.

“Why does it make you sad? I’m happy here.”

“I know.” Quinn closed his eyes for a few seconds, letting Cian’s warmth surround him for the last time. “But you would be such an amazing vet, and I think that would make you happier.”

Cian nodded but didn’t say anything for a moment. “I really wish you didn’t have to go, but I know you do.”

 

“Yeah, me too.” Quinn kissed him again. “If I e-mail you, will you write back?”

Cian’s voice was soft and rough when he answered. “Of course I will. I want to know all about how your grandma’s doing.” He kissed the top of Quinn’s head again. “And I want to know how you’re doing in school.”

Quinn nodded, his voice caught in his chest. He reached up and pressed a gentle kiss to the underside of Cian’s jaw. “I want to hear about Ceara and your grandparents. I’m sorry I won’t get to meet your grandmother.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Quinn couldn’t seem to make himself let go and was grateful when Cian carefully took him by the shoulders and pushed him back. “You need to get going, love.”

“I know.” Quinn reached up and wiped away the tears that had gathered at the corner of his eyes. “You take care of yourself, Cian O’Reilly. I’m going to remember you forever.”

Cian reached down and took Quinn’s hand and brought it up to kiss the back of it. “May the road rise to meet you; may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon the fields; and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.”

Cian pulled him in and kissed him one last time before stepping back. “Be happy, Quinn. You deserve it.”

 

“You too, Cian… you too.”

With that, Quinn turned and walked back to the rental car. He was startled when Davin came from the side of the barn and gave him the keys. The older man stuck out his hand, and Quinn shook it.

“Thank you for everything, Davin. I appreciated the time you gave me with Cian. It was amazing.” Quinn was trying hard to not break down and cry in front of the man.

“Ah, lad, nothing to thank me for. ’Twas a joy to meet you. And who knows, we might see each other again someday.” That twinkle was back in his eye, but Quinn just let it go.

Smiling his thanks as best he could, Quinn got in the car and drove away, heading back to Dublin. It was time to go home.
Chapter 14

W
ITH
a heavy heart, Davin watched the young American drive away. From what he’d heard, his nephew and that young man cared a great deal about each other, but both were willing to give it up out of duty to their families.

He frowned as he recalled Quinn’s words about Cian wanting to be a vet. The boy was a natural for it, and Davin knew it. If he’d had any inkling that Cian wanted to go to school, he’d have been there already.

Davin sighed. That young man was entirely too willing to sacrifice himself out of some misguided sense of duty, and it made Davin so proud it felt like he’d burst.

He was going to talk to Cian about this, but he had some calls to make first. Maybe there wasn’t much he could do about the situation with the Donovan boy, but he’d be damned sure Cian got his chance to follow his dream of becoming a vet.

He snorted in amusement. His damned in-laws were going to be good for something, after all. A call to his wife, whose brother happened to be the dean of admissions, and the lad would be on his way to University College Dublin before he could say grace.

Q
UINN
arrived home to a welcome party he could have lived without. Everyone was so happy to see him, but all he could think was that as much as he loved them, he really wanted to be somewhere else. He felt guilty.

Insisting on going to the hospital first thing, when he walked into that room and saw his grandma Anna lying there, looking pale and small, it was the one thing that took Cian and Ireland off his mind for a little while.

They chatted for a bit, and he showed her pictures he’d taken. She smiled and told him how proud she was. After an hour, she was tired and drifted off to sleep to the soothing sound of Quinn telling her about the fair in Limerick.

He looked around, grateful he was the only one left in the room. Taking a deep breath to fortify himself, he stood and walked out the door. He was surprised to find only his dad and his cousin Jack left in the hall.

“Where is everyone?” Quinn was exhausted, and he just wanted to get home and sleep.

 

“We sent everyone home. Jack’s gonna stay with your grandma for a while so

I can take you.” He looked at his cousin for confirmation, smiling when the other man nodded. “You looked tired. I figured you could use some peace and quiet… and I could use a shower.”

Quinn nodded and gave Jack a hug before trudging out of the hospital, his father following closely behind.

 

When he spotted his dad’s pickup, he walked over and waited for his dad to unlock it before he climbed in. God, he was so tired.

 

“Son, are you okay? You know your grandma is going to be fine, right?” The concern in his voice was evident.

 

“I’m okay, Dad. I just have a lot on my mind.” Quinn snorted at himself. That was an understatement if he ever heard one.

 

“You want to talk about it? You know I’m always ready to listen.”

Quinn shook his head. “Thanks, Dad, I know. But I’m still trying to work it all out in my head.” He decided to change the subject. “Did you love the pictures of the horses I sent? Aren’t they gorgeous?”

Patrick grinned. “That they are, son. I can’t wait to get them all here and see them in person.” He reached over and patted Quinn on the shoulder. “You did a good job, and I’m proud of you.”

Quinn couldn’t help but smile a little at the praise. “Thanks. It was amazingly easy. Once I saw them, I knew that you’d want them.”

 

“I spoke to Davin O’Reilly and Kieran Michaels on the phone. They seem like a couple of interesting men.”

 

“Yeah, they are.” Quinn smiled fondly. “Hey, did you know they started out in the horse business together and are still friends?”

 

Patrick shook his head. “Nope, but I’m not surprised. They had the same passion for the animals. They reminded me of your Grandpa Peter!” Quinn smirked at his father. “Actually, Dad, I thought they both kind of reminded me of you!”

 

Patrick playfully smacked him on the back of the head. “Watch it, son. I’m still young enough to kick your ass.”

Quinn let his head roll back and rest on the seat. The rest of the drive was passed in comfortable silence. He figured his father was giving him the time he’d said he needed to think.

When they pulled into the farm, Quinn hopped out of the truck and looked at his father. “I think I’m gonna go and take a walk to the pond, okay? Tell everyone I’ll be in soon.”

Patrick nodded as he came around the truck. He stood and looked at Quinn inquisitively before pulling him into a hug. “Take all the time you need, Quinn. Everyone will understand.”

Quinn squeezed him tight once more and pulled away. “Thanks.” He turned and walked down the path toward the pond, already lost in thought.

Quinn loved the pond. It was his favorite place to go and be alone to think. And he had a lot to think about. He’d never expected to go to Ireland and fall in love. Not with the land and certainly not with Cian, but he was pretty sure that was just what he did. The people made him smile, the scenery was breathtaking, and Cian… well, Cian was just plain amazing.

He’d never met anyone so selfless and caring in his life, outside of certain members of his family. He wondered if it was strange that Cian reminded him of his father. They shared a lot of the same qualities. Both were plainspoken and honest. Both seemed to like the person he was and didn’t need him to change for their sakes.

He remembered hearing once that some women tended to fall for men who reminded them of their fathers. He wondered if that held true for gay men as well.

Something told him Cian might very well be his soul mate. He hadn’t been sure in the past if such a thing existed, but now he was. And his lived on the other side of the ocean.

It just about figured.

 

Cian wanted the best for him. He’d encouraged Quinn to go back to school and follow his dreams, whatever made him happy.

And Quinn really did want to go back to school. It made sense to him, and he needed to do it to help him get his writing going again. He’d let it slip away from him for too long, and it was one of the reasons he felt so unsettled lately. Quinn knew his family wanted him to do something with his life too, something that would ignite his enthusiasm again, but first he had to figure out what that was.

Quinn walked over and flopped down on a patch of soft green grass near the edge of the pond, then pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. He rested his chin on his knees and looked out over the water, not really seeing what was there.

In his mind he saw the small-town charms of Athlone and all the little places he’d seen on his travels. The wide-open green fields, some filled with sheep, some with wild-looking horses, and the memories made him smile.

He also saw crystal-blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when Cian smiled, and he could smell the warm, inviting smell of the other man’s cologne.

As Quinn sat by the pond in the sun, thinking about his life and his future, he came to the realization that everything he wanted, everything he needed to be happy, was somewhere else. It was something he’d never thought would happen. His whole world had always been his family and Rockingham. He’d never wanted to run off and look for adventure in places like New York or Chicago.

He snorted at himself. Leave it to him to want to run off to another town that was smaller than the one he already lived in.

 

Quinn looked down at his watch and realized he’d been sitting there thinking for over an hour. He stood, brushed himself off, and headed back to the house. Now he just had to figure out if he had the strength to leave behind the family who had always been his safety net.

T
WO
weeks later, he was still thinking. He and Cian had been exchanging e-mails on a daily basis, and every one had only increased Quinn’s longing to see Cian again.

He’d been working himself hard around the farm, taking care of every little repair job his dad ever mentioned and getting things ready for when the Irish horses cleared quarantine and arrived.

He’d hoped that if he worked himself hard enough, he’d fall into bed and be exhausted enough to sleep.

 

His plan had failed spectacularly.

 

Quinn was excited to see the horses again. They were gorgeous animals, and he was looking forward to introducing them to his dad.

Since he’d been home, he’d managed to keep his troubled feelings to himself, but he knew that sooner or later, he’d have to talk to someone. He could see the concerned looks being cast in his direction by his parents and friends, but it was hard to say anything when he was so worried about hurting their feelings by wanting to leave.

Quinn looked around the barn he’d been sweeping before setting the broom against the wall, satisfied that he’d done a good job. The place was cleaner than it had ever been, and he was pretty sure he’d just lost five pounds by sweating.

He heard boots crunching across the gravel outside the door and looked up to see his father carrying in two bottles of ice-cold beer. He couldn’t have been more grateful to see his dad.

“I thought you might need this.” Patrick passed one of the bottles to Quinn, who reached over and used one of the tack hooks to pry it open.

 

“Thanks, Dad.” Quinn raised the beer in salute and then downed half of it with one pull. “Damn, that tastes good.”

Patrick wandered over and sat on a hay bale, picking at the label of the bottle in his hand with a fingernail. “So, you ready to tell me what’s going on yet?” He looked up and caught Quinn’s eye. Quinn knew his father would listen without judgment, and knew it was time to talk to him about what was going on.

“Yeah, I guess I’d better.” Quinn walked over and sat on a bench outside one of the stalls. “Dad, I know all the reasons you wanted me to go to Ireland in your place, but do you know one of the reasons I took you up on it?”

Patrick shook his head but didn’t say anything, so Quinn continued. “I’ve always wanted to go there. The pictures I saw made everything look so beautiful, and I dreamed of going and learning about the country and my family history on both sides.”

Quinn drained the rest of the beer and then got up to pace. “It was everything I’d ever imagined and more. It felt like home, and I loved every bit of it. The people, the atmosphere, the small towns….” Quinn trailed off as he got caught up in his memories.

“You gonna tell me what his name is?” Patrick’s voice broke Quinn out of his thoughts.

 

“Whose name?” Quinn couldn’t help the guilty flush that crawled across his cheeks.

 

“The name of the guy who has you checking your e-mail all day long.” Patrick smiled his reassurance at him. “He must be pretty special.”

 

Quinn stared at his father before nodding. “He is. His name is Cian O’Reilly. He’s Davin O’Reilly’s grandson.”

 

“And what makes him so special?”

Quinn could see his dad was genuinely interested and not just humoring him, so he told his father everything… well, almost everything. He figured his dad didn’t need all the intimate details. He told him about their first encounter at the pub, the music festival and fair in Limerick, the picnic, and then he showed him the bracelet, telling him how Cian wore the same one.

“I don’t know, Dad, it was just everything. He’s so devoted to his family, even after being abandoned by his parents. And he’s so good with animals. He just seems to love life.” Quinn was pacing again.

“He asked me what I wanted to do with my life.” He stopped, knowing his family had been wondering the same thing.

 

“And what did you say?”

There was no censure or anger in his dad’s voice, so Quinn continued. “I told him I wanted to be a writer, but I was worried everyone would think it was stupid. He basically told me the only thing that would be stupid would be not following my dream.”