Lynn Osterkamp - Cleo Sims 03 - Too Many Secrets (20 page)

“Angels of Mercy? What’s that?” Gayle asked
skeptically. “That doesn’t sound like Sabrina. She never said anything to
me about it.”

“She didn’t tell you everything, Gayle.” Lark
smirked. “She knew you wouldn’t understand. You haven’t seen what we’ve
seen. Sabrina and I have been ICU nurses for a long time. We’ve been caring
nurses, but we knew it was time for our society to face the truth, to make
choices, to set priorities. You know Sabrina believed in directing energy toward
making things happen rather than letting things happen. We knew it was wrong to
continue to waste resources on elderly patients with dementia who don’t even
know the difference.” She gave me a knowing look.

I matched her glare for glare. “So you and Sabrina took
it on yourselves to play God and decide who should live and who should
die?” I asked.

“We had to do it,” she said. “Doctors know who
is ready to die, but family members like you are whiners who force them to go
against what they know is right.” She sounded like a politician giving a
speech.

She continued her rant, eyes glazed, head nodding in rhythm
with her words. “All the people Sabrina and I helped to pass on were
demented and old and frail. They had no quality of life and they all had
life-threatening illnesses that were being treated with antibiotics just so
they could live on and get sick again. They were in the ICU and they were
suffering. All we did was put some potassium chloride in their IVs to stop
their hearts. It’s painless. We did them a favor, putting them out of their
misery. We liberated their souls.”

My heart raced. If we didn’t stop Lark, Gramma would be her
next victim. Unless the hospital stops her. “Has the hospital figured it
out?” I asked. “Is that what you were arguing about with that woman
today?”

Lark shrugged. “They don’t have any proof. They’re just
investigating. Potassium chloride leaves no chemical trace. Lots of people die
in the ICU. Without actual cases to look at, to connect to times I was on duty,
they’re mostly guessing. It will take a long investigation before they can make
a case.”

Paige’s eyes were wide. “But why did you kill
Sabrina?” she asked in a shaky voice. “If she was doing it with
you?”

“I told you, I didn’t kill her,” Lark said sharply.
“It was an accident. And it was her fault. When that Allie started nosing
around after her mother died, Sabrina got nervous. She decided we had to give
up our cause and get out of nursing. I refused. I was willing to let her go off
and do whatever she wanted to do for herself, but she wasn’t willing to let me
stay and keep on doing what I wanted to do. She said I had to leave nursing too
or she’d report me. And she had the details of the cases, so she could give
them all the incriminating information they needed.”

“But wouldn’t she be implicating herself also if she
reported you?” I asked.

“No,” Lark said. “She said she would report me
and then if I tried to implicate her, they’d think I was lying to save
myself.”

Gayle was scowling. “You say Sabrina died in an
accident,” she broke in impatiently. “An accident? That’s what
Sabrina said too in the apparition chamber. How did the accident happen?”

“Fine. I’ll tell you,” Lark said. ” Here’s
what happened. Sabrina and I had adjacent routes for the wilderness journey.
Remember, Paige, you asked me to plan the routes since I know the area so
well?”

Paige nodded.

Lark continued. “When I planned the routes, I set up
hers and mine to be together. Ours were also the closest to the trailhead and
the farthest from the main wilderness area where the other four of you would be
going. That way you’d be unlikely to hear us or see us. I waited when Sabrina
started off and then instead of going on my route, I went behind her on hers. I
crept up behind her with a hypodermic needle with a sedative and plunged it
into her neck.”

I took a sharp breath and clutched my neck. “That
doesn’t sound like an accident,” I said.

“That part wasn’t an accident,” Lark said.
“But the sedative I gave her wasn’t life-threatening.”

“So what happened? How did she end up dead?” Gayle
asked.

“I took her to my car—used a fireman’s carry to
throw her over my shoulder and get her to the trailhead,” Lark said.
“If anyone had seen us, I would have said she fell and hit her head and I
was taking her to the hospital. But no one did. I take care of this house in
the winter for the Busbees. They only live in it in the summer. I brought
Sabrina here and I tied her to a chair so she couldn’t get away. The house is
isolated and no one besides me ever comes here in the winter, so I could keep
her here without anyone finding her.”

“But why? Why did you want to keep Sabrina here?”
Paige asked.

“I needed to reason with her, but she refused to listen
to me. I had to keep her where I could talk some sense into her. I couldn’t
afford to leave nursing and I needed to get her to see what would happen if she
reported me to the hospital or the board of nursing. It would ruin my career, I
might go to prison and I’d probably lose Darby. That would ruin his life, too.
And for what? Because I had the courage to help some frail old people escape
their suffering? The Victorians used to call death a blessed release for the
weary, but now we try to avoid it no matter what.”

A sudden coldness hit me. Lark was so committed to her
crusade that she’d stop at nothing. “So when Sabrina didn’t accept your
reasoning, you killed her?” I asked.

Lark stamped her foot. Her eyes blazed with anger.
“Aren’t you listening to me?” she said, her voice shrill with
impatience. “I told you I didn’t kill Sabrina. She died accidentally.
After I got her to the house, I had to get back to Indian Lakes so I could show
up in the morning with the other Moxie members. I left her sedated and tied to
a chair. Her arms were tied together behind her back and behind the back of the
chair. Her legs were tied to the chair legs in front.”

“Was she in a white room?” Paige asked.

Lark stopped, a confused look on her face. “A white
room?” She thought for a minute. “Yes. It’s the small bedroom
upstairs and it is mostly white. Why?”

“Sabrina told us she was in a white room. Is that where
she died?”

Lark rolled her eyes. “Yes. Apparently she woke up and
was trying to escape and turned the chair over and hit her head on the edge of
the bed frame. I got back here late the next day because I had to be with all
of you pretending to look for her. She was lying in a pool of blood, no pulse,
no respiration. She accidentally killed herself. I was sad for her, but it
wasn’t my fault. All I did was tie her up.”

“Why didn’t you tell the police then?” Gayle asked.

Lark’s expression hardened. “I knew it would look very
bad for me. I couldn’t tell anyone. What I had to do was get rid of the body,
but I needed time for the search to end so I could put her where she wouldn’t
be found. So I wrapped her in a sheet and put her in the freezer. The people
who own this house won’t be back until at least May, so there was no chance
anyone would find her before then.”

“So now you and Darby are running away to Mexico? Can
you leave town in the middle of this hospital investigation?” I asked.

“Watch me.”

“Lark, think about it,” Paige said, leaning toward
her a little bit. “Wouldn’t it be better to stay and face the charges? If
you run, leave the country, you’ll never be able to come back. You won’t be
able to see your parents and your brothers. Darby will be cut off from his
grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins. Is that really the life you want
for him?”

“If I stay here and tell the police what happened, I’ll
probably go to jail, and lose Darby,” Lark said, her voice flat. “That
would be a lot worse for him.”

Paige took a deep breath and released it slowly with a deep
sigh. “But like you say, Sabrina’s death was an accident and the hospital
has no proof of the euthanasia. You’d be guilty of something, but not murder.
Maybe you could get a plea agreement and get a light sentence.”

Lark made a sour face. “No thanks. I’m getting out of
here while I can. But now I have the problem of all of you. You may not believe
this, but I don’t believe in killing unless the person is ready to go like the
people I help in the hospital. I don’t want to kill you. But I can’t have you
calling the police and telling them about Sabrina.”

“How about we promise not to say anything until after
you’ve been gone for a week?” Paige asked, running her hands through her
hair. “That should give you enough time to disappear.”

“Why would I trust you not to tell anyone?”

“We believe you about the accident because Sabina said
it was an accident. And you know we care about you and Darby.” Paige said.

Lark shook her head. “Sorry, I can’t take that chance.
What I’m going to do is tie you all up here and go home and get my nursing bag.
When I get back, you’ll all help me carry Sabrina to a remote wilderness area.
Then I’ll sedate all of you with a long-lasting benzodiazepine drug that should
keep you under for twenty-four hours.”

Omigod, sedation! What would that do to my baby? My pulse
raced. First she wanted to hurt Gramma, now my baby. I had to stop her.

But before I could plead for my baby’s life, Lark continued with
an even bleaker picture of our future. “Once you’re sedated, I’ll leave
you there in the wilderness. Whatever happens, happens. I’m not killing you. If
you wake up and find your way out and live, then you’re lucky. If not, no one
will be likely to find you until summer. I’ll drive Gayle’s car back down to
Boulder and leave it somewhere in town, so no one will know you were
here.”

“No!” I shouted. “If you do that, you
will
be killing us. What are you
thinking? You’re a nurse. You’re supposed to save lives, not end them.”

Lark repositioned her gun, pointing it right at me.
“Enough, Cleo,” she said. “I’m giving you the best chance I
can.”

I could tell from the set of her jaw that she was firm in her
plan. Persuasion was a useless strategy at that point. We’d have to overpower
her somehow. I thought about Gayle’s gun. Where was it? How could we find it?
We needed to be able to move around the room. “Lark, before you tie us up,
could we stand around the freezer and say a few words of goodbye to Sabrina?”
I asked. “I know I never met her, but I feel like I know her. And she was
a good friend to you three for a long time.”

“You can say your words from right where you are.”

“But if we could unwrap her body and look at her face,
it would feel more personal.” Gayle said.

We heard a loud banging on the door upstairs.

“Be still,” Lark said. “Don’t say anything and
don’t make a sound.”

“Gayle!” someone shouted. “I see your car
here. “Now open up or we’ll break in.”

“Stay right here all of you. I’ll shoot the first one who
comes up after me.” Lark went upstairs and locked the basement door behind
her.

“Gayle, let’s look for your gun?” I said in a stage
whisper.

We all dropped to our hands and knees and crawled around the
floor looking for the missing gun. “Hurry, we have to find it before she
comes back down,” I said, my voice hushed.

But Lark didn’t come back down.

We heard a lot of shouting and banging coming from upstairs.
“What the hell are you doing with that gun, Lark?”

“Get out of here,” Lark yelled. “Or I’ll shoot
you both.”

“You’re not going to shoot anyone.” A loud crash.
Then a scream that sounded like Lark.

We jumped up and ran to the stairs. “That voice sounds
like Diana,” Gayle said. “What would she be doing here? Is she
involved in this whole thing with Lark?”

Paige reached over to Gayle and put her hands on Gayle’s
arms. “No, no, Gayle,” she said. “I called Diana and Hana before
we left and told them about you seeing Sabrina in the chamber, and what she
said to you, and where we were going. I know you didn’t want to involve them,
but it didn’t seem right to exclude them.”

Gayle grabbed Paige in a huge hug. “You did the right
thing,” she said. “Thanks for following your gut. You pretty much
saved our lives.”

More loud crashes from upstairs.

“I’ve got her down. Grab her gun,” we heard Diana
shout. “I’ll sit on her until she settles down, or I’ll knock her out if I
have to. Now open the basement door and see what’s happening down there.”

The lock turned, the door opened, and Hana stepped down a few
steps. “Gayle? Paige? Are you down here?”

Ten days later - Dec 22

News about Sabrina had gradually dribbled out over the last
ten days. First the discovery of her body, then the news of Lark’s arrest, then
a profile of Ian—champion snowboarder, Olympic hopeful and grieving son.
Boulderites were shocked, saddened, and curious.

Elisa and I had arrived late enough to her memorial service
that we had to look for parking, so we ended up seated at the back of the
packed church. The service was called a “celebration of life,” and I
tried to think of it that way, but it was hard. Sabrina was too young, she had
too much in front of her, and she left too much behind. I grieved for her and
for Ian that she would never watch him graduate from high school or college, or
see him compete in the Olympics if he achieved that dream.

Looking around, I saw Moxie, or what was left of
it—Gayle, Paige, Hana and Diana sitting together near the front with
several teenage kids. Ian was in the front row between Maria and Brandi. He
hunched his shoulders, hung his head, and slumped towards Maria. She
periodically rubbed his back. I was sure he was devastated now that he had
finally had to face the fact that his mother was gone.

Brandi, however, looked calm and composed—at least from
what I could see from behind. Despite all her rants about how precious Sabrina
was to her, she showed no outward signs of distress. A hot-looking guy with big
shoulder muscles and wavy dark hair sat on her left, his arm around her
shoulders. She snuggled in to him.

While we waited for the ceremony to start, recent events
played through my mind like a video on a continuous loop. The painful: Lark
holding a gun on us; Sabrina in the freezer; police questioning us for hours.
The joyful: Gramma improving so much she was able to go back to Glenwood
Gardens where Pablo and I visited her yesterday.

A white-haired minister began the ceremony recalling that he
had known Sabrina and her family since she was a young child. “She always
opened her arms to the world,” he said, “lovingly welcoming everyone
she met. She gave much and asked for little in return. Her kind and generous
nature led her to a career as a nurse, where she was loved and respected.”
He went on, describing Sabrina as a devoted mother, a loyal friend, and a joyful
human being. He ended his eulogy with a short poem:

“A butterfly
lights beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment its glory and beauty
belong to the world. But then it flies on again and though we wish it could
have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it.”

A vocalist, with piano and flute accompaniment, sang “My
Heart Will Go On.” I was deeply touched by the poem, the music, and the
strong feeling of love in the room. Even though I had never met Sabrina, I felt
her loss in my heart.

 
Moxie members
and many of Sabrina’s other friends and co-workers shared fond memories,
including humorous stories—many about her famous computer fiascos. But
mostly they spoke about how much she meant to them. A young nurse from the
hospital told about Sabrina going above and beyond the call of duty, coming in
early and staying late to help her when she was new to the job. A physician
complimented Sabrina’s amazing rapport with patients, such that he and other
doctors called her the hospital’s chief empathizer.

Gayle spoke tearfully about how much Sabrina’s friendship
meant to her, how they had become like sisters over the years, and how she can
still sometimes feel Sabrina hugging her. Paige gave thanks for Sabrina’s love,
which would always be part of her life. Diana said Sabrina lived life to the
fullest and was always cheerful and enthusiastic. Hana talked about how much
Sabrina treasured and cared for the people she loved.

Then Brandi stepped up to the front. “It warms my heart
to hear how much you all loved and appreciated Sabrina,” she said slowly.
“But someone has to talk about the elephant in the room.” She leaned
forward pointing at all of us. “You haven’t heard the whole story.”

My heart sank. Omigod. What whole story? I didn’t think she
knew about Lark’s accusations that Sabrina was involved in euthanizing
patients. But whatever dirt she was going to dish, this was no place for it.

She continued, bitterness and fury in her voice. “My
sister was the victim of a vicious group of women who used her to further their
malicious agendas.” She paused and looked around, taking in the gasps and
shocked faces.

“Yes, you heard me correctly,” she said, her chin
lifted and jutting forward. “And what I’m saying is the truth, not some
bereaved sister craziness.” Her voice was loud, shrill and spiteful.
“They may think of themselves as her sisters, but I’m her only sister.
Sabrina trusted these women with her life and they took it from her. And now
they’re going to profit from her death. This is wrong. They should all be held
accountable.”

“No! Stop, Aunt Brandi.” Ian sprang to his feet,
ran up and grabbed Brandi’s shoulders. “Stop! You know Mom wouldn’t want
this. They were her friends.”

Brandi pulled herself free and faced Ian. “You’re too
young to understand. You don’t know what they’re capable of. Everything they
say is a lie.”

Ian stood his ground. “No. You’re the one who lies.
You’re the one who told me Mom had gone off with some man. I should have been
looking for her, but I believed your lies.” Ian buried his face in his
hands. Sobs wracked his body.

“No, Ian…” Brandi began, but piano music drowned
out her words as the pianist began playing “I Will Remember You.” The
music continued as the minister grabbed Brandi’s arm and pulled her off to a
side room. Ian and Maria followed slowly behind them. The rest of us emerged
from our daze and stood up to begin filing out.

As we edged toward the front door, Elisa said, “I need
to check on Maria before we go. Do you want to come with or wait?”

“I’ll wait here,” I said. “I don’t want to get
into it with Brandi one more time.” I stepped to the side of the vestibule
as Elisa headed off to the front of the room.

“How are you holding up, Cleo?” No mistaking that
musical voice. Paige was standing next to me, her eyes red and puffy.

“I’m okay,” I said. “But how about you after
what Brandi just said?”

Paige shrugged. “It doesn’t matter,” she said.
“Brandi is spiteful and destructive, but there’s nothing left of Moxie for
her to destroy. Moxie is finished. Sabrina is gone, Lark is in jail, and Diana
and Hana refuse to take down their revengeful website. Gayle and I don’t even
want to try to resurrect Moxie.”

I felt terrible for her. So much loss. “It’s a shame
that it ended this way,” I said. “You all had so much together all
those years.”

“We did,” Paige said quietly, looking inward.
“And now we don’t. Things change. People change. Life goes on.”

“We did have one last Moxie meeting, though,” she
said. “The four of us talked a long time about Lark’s accusations of
Sabrina. What Lark said about Sabrina that day at Busbee’s house was shocking.
But bottom line, we don’t believe her. We don’t think Sabrina would have
violated her nursing oath, or that she would do anything to help old people
like your grandmother die before their time. Sabrina was a helper, a caregiver
who would do anything for someone in trouble.”

“So you think Lark lied about her and Sabrina having a
cause, being angels of mercy?”

“Yes. We can imagine Lark having that cause, but not
Sabrina. As Hana says, Sabrina’s destiny number is six. Sixes are responsible
nurturers who like to give help and comfort to those in need. Lark’s number is
one. Ones are independent, individualistic and determined, and can be overly
aggressive and egotistic.”

“Do you think Lark killed Sabrina because Sabrina found
out what she was doing and threatened to report her?”

“We do. But we’ll leave it to the police to find out the
truth. Our concern is for Ian and for Sabrina’s reputation. We decided not to
tell Ian, or anyone, what Lark said As far as we know, there’s no way anyone
but us would have heard about it. We were the only ones Lark told and she’s
been in jail ever since.”

“But we told the police what Lark said. They may have
told Ian.”

“I doubt it. None of us believed her then and we told
the police that too. We told them Lark was saying that about Sabrina to make
herself look better.”

I thought to myself that these Moxie women may have their
problems, but they’re all good mothers and they care about Ian. “I
agree,” I said. “Why make it worse for him.”

“Thank you,” she said. Then she put her hand on my
shoulder and looked deeply into my eyes. “I also want to thank you for all
you did to help us find Sabrina, Cleo. And especially for the contact I had
with her spirit in your apparition chamber. That will always be with me. Come
to my studio some time. I’d love to give you some free yoga classes.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I just might do that.”

After she walked off, I mulled over Moxie’s strengths and
weaknesses. All strong women who cared deeply about others, but some of whom
went too far trying to remake the world to fit their image. I admired and
wanted to emulate their strength and support, but also wanted to take a lesson
to act consciously, thinking carefully about the consequences of my behavior.

An arm around my shoulders interrupted my reverie. Elisa.

“You ready to get out of here?” she asked, tugging
at me.

“Absolutely,” I said. “How’s Maria?”

“She’s okay. I’ll tell you in the car. Come on.”

We headed out into the cold. The sidewalks were icy where snow
had melted and refrozen, so we picked our way carefully over to the parking
lot. It wasn’t the best place for a serious conversation, so I kept my
curiosity in check until we were in the car pulling out of the lot. Then I
asked again. “Tell me about Maria.”

“She’s doing a great job of supporting Ian and helping
him let go of his anger toward Brandi.” Elisa said. “And—get
this—he’s not just angry at what Brandi did today. There’s more. That
hunk sitting next to Brandi is her new boyfriend. He’s an Elvis tribute
artist.”

“He’s what?”

“You know—he does Elvis improvisations. Puts on
shows. Anyway Brandi is moving to Las Vegas with him. She’s planning to get a
gig as an exotic dancer.” Elisa laughed.

“You mean one of those girls who dances topless and
gives lap dances?”

“That’s it. Ian hates the new boyfriend, hates that
Brandi is moving to Vegas, and really hates the exotic dancer plan. Even worse,
he feels like she was using him and now that she can’t use Sabrina’s money
anymore, she’s dumping him.”

“Phew. That’s intense on top of grieving his mother’s
death. Maria has a huge challenge helping him deal with all that. Please tell
her I’m there for her if she needs any help.”

“I will. But fortunately Ian isn’t just leaning on
Maria. Gayle and her daughter Nicole were back there too. Gayle was really
there for Ian and Nicole was talking about sadness in a way that seemed to be
reaching him. Apparently he’s staying with them now.”

Elisa pulled up in front of my office to let me out.
“You need to get some rest and enjoy the holidays, Cleo,” she said.
“Build up your energy for our New Year’s Eve party.”

“Rest, relaxation, and holiday parties,” I said.
“Sounds perfect.”

§ § §

Two days later - Dec 24

I’ve always loved the night before Christmas. Anticipation
hangs in the air as the frenzy of holiday preparation recedes and the
celebration begins.

Pablo and I were curled up on my couch, with a fire
crackling, Christmas carols playing in the background, and pine-scented candles
burning on the coffee table. Lights twinkled on my Christmas tree decorated
with Gramma’s antique ornament collection. My gift to Pablo, a top-of-the-line
digital camera, sat under the tree wrapped in glittery paper.

We’d visited Gramma that afternoon for a special Christmas
Eve lunch at Glenwood Gardens. Tomorrow we’d be at his parents’ house for
Christmas dinner with his sister and brothers, nieces and nephews. Tonight was
our special time.

After a romantic candlelight dinner of shrimp scampi and
Caesar salad, we moved over to the couch, where we snuggled and fed each other
bites of a decadent black forest cake. I felt soft, warm and cozy. But I sensed
some impatience or excitement in Pablo. Maybe he was eager to open his gift.

I was ready to move on to the gifts. I’d spent a lot of time
researching and picking out the very best camera for Pablo and I couldn’t wait
to see how he liked it. “Are you ready to open your present?” I
asked, pulling my arm free to point at the box under the tree.

He unwrapped himself from my arms and turned to face me, taking
my hands in his. “I want to give you my gift first,” he said with a
huge grin. I can’t stand to wait another minute.”

“Great,” I said, looking around the room.
“Where is it?”

“You’ll see in a minute,” he said. “But I have
to tell you about it first.” He looked lovingly into my eyes and spoke
softly. “The Boulder Police Department had a couple of openings. I applied
and they’ve offered me a job, starting next month. It will mean I can live in
Boulder.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny box, which he
popped open. A gold ring with a huge sparkly diamond in the center. “Cleo,
I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you by my side. Will you please
marry me? I want to live here with you in your grandparents’ house and raise
our baby together.”

My heart overflowed with love for him. He cared enough to
take a big risk, changing jobs so we could live where I wanted to live. He
trusted that we could build a happy life together here with our baby. Could I
match his trust with my own? Could I put aside my fear that he would not always
be there for me? Did I want to take the chance?

Suddenly it felt right. Us together for the rest of our
lives. Us raising our baby here in my grandparents’ house. Us helping and
supporting each other through life’s ups and downs. Us loving each other for
years and years and years.