Lynn Osterkamp - Cleo Sims 03 - Too Many Secrets (14 page)

It was Saturday, a day I usually visit Gramma, so I headed
over to Glenwood Gardens. She was in the living room with several other
residents and a perky teenage volunteer, all singing along with a CD of
“You Are My Sunshine.” It never ceases to amaze me how music reaches
residents with dementia who ordinarily sit slumped in a chair, not speaking or
moving. When they hear a favorite song, they suddenly come alive, rocking
rhythmically and singing along. It’s truly inspiring to watch.

I was ready for a break, so I sat and sang along with them
through several more old favorite songs. After the music was over, I sat next
to Gramma so we could talk. She’s always more alert and communicative right
after music. “Cleo,” she said, “Are you okay?”

“I’m just tired,” I said. “How are you
feeling?”

“I miss James,” she said. “He hasn’t come for
a long time.” I saw tears in her eyes. What to say next? In fact, Grampa
had died before Gramma moved to Glenwood Gardens from Shady Terrace, but I
don’t like to remind her that he’s gone. “He’s been busy,” I said.
“I’ll tell him you miss him.”

She smiled. “He works hard,” she said. “He’s a
good man. He loves me.”

My mind drifted off to Pablo, a good man who loves me. We’re
not a perfect couple like Gramma and Grampa, but we love each other. I need to
think hard about whether I want to risk losing what we have, especially with
the baby coming.

When I looked back at Gramma, she’d fallen asleep in her
chair. I gave her a soft goodbye kiss and gathered up my stuff to leave. Sadness
hit me as it always does when I leave her, but it’s mostly the familiar sadness
about how Alzheimer’s has taken her away.

Just as I got to the front door, Allie Hecht came in.
“Cleo, I’m so glad you’re here. I came to talk to Mary Ellen. But it would
be great if you could join us. Do you have a minute?”

“I have a bunch of stuff to do,” I said, “so
just a quick minute.”

When we were all three squeezed into Mary Ellen’s tiny
office, Allie leaned forward and spoke softly. “I told you both I’ve been
planning to sue the hospital because I’m not getting anywhere with the
complaint I filed about Mom’s death. So this is all totally confidential, just
between us, but yesterday my lawyer told me the hospital is offering to settle
with me to avoid bad publicity.” She paused to let that sink in, then
continued. “They’re not admitting any fault or wrongdoing, just saying
they want to put this behind them and they’re willing to offer me a settlement
if I sign an agreement not to sue them and to keep all the information relevant
to the case confidential.”

“So should you be telling us about this?” Mary
Ellen asked.

“I know neither of you will tell anyone,” she said.
“You both knew Mom, and I need your advice. What should I do? I figure the
hospital must have found some evidence that I’m right about patients being
euthanized in the ICU. Otherwise why would they offer to settle?”

“It could really be just like they say, to avoid bad
publicity,” Mary Ellen said. “A scandal like that can cost them a lot
more than settling the case with you.”

Allie looked at me. “What do you think, Cleo?”

“I can’t really advise you. It has to be about what you
think will make you feel better,” I said. “What would you like to
do?”

“Basically I’m not inclined to accept the settlement.
Money’s not what I’m after. It won’t bring Mom back—nothing will. I want
satisfaction for her death—the satisfaction of them admitting they’re
wrong. I want that nurse Sabrina Larson to get the blame she deserves. And I
want to prevent what happened to Mom from happening to other patients.”

“It could be very expensive to sue a hospital,” I
said. “Are you ready to spend that kind of money to get
satisfaction?”

Allie sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a minute before
she answered. “That’s exactly what my lawyer asked me,” she said.
“He’s recommending I take the settlement. But have I really gotten justice
for Mom if I do that?”

“Maybe you could use the settlement money for a memorial
in honor of your mom,” Mary Ellen said. “How about a donation to the
historical library where she volunteered? That way she’d be remembered for the
good work she did.”

“Maybe,” she said. “But if it’s all covered
up, if there’s no real investigation, would other older people be safe at that
hospital?”

“It sounds like you need to sit down with your lawyer
and discuss what’s likely to happen if you settle,” I said. “Then
decide whether you can live with that.”

We all sat silently for a minute, tuned into our individual
thoughts. Then Allie gathered her things and stood up. “I’ve taken enough
of your time,” she said. “Thanks you guys. I’ll let you know how it
turns out.”

§ § §

When I got out to my car and turned on my phone, I had three
voicemail messages. One was Brandi, begging me to let her try to contact Erik
in my apparition chamber. I hit “delete.” The next one was Pablo,
saying he was swamped with work, would have to work late tonight and go in
early in the morning, so he planned to stay in Longmont for the night. Damn.

The last one was Paige. She sounded shocked. “Cleo,
you’re not going to believe what I found,” she said. “It’s Sabrina’s
thirty-day plan! You have to see it. I haven’t told anyone else, so please keep
it confidential. I want to show it to you. You’re probably not at your office
on Saturday but can we meet somewhere this afternoon?”

For sure I wanted to see that plan. This could be the
breakthrough we’d been waiting for. I called her back and arranged for her to
bring the plan to my office at 2:00, which gave me time to go home, grab some
lunch, and get down there.

Paige showed up promptly at 2:00, waving a small red spiral
notebook. “Here it is,” she said. “Like I said, I found it in
her locker.”

“What made you decide to look in Sabrina’s locker?”
I asked. “And why hadn’t the police already checked it?”

“I’m sure no one thought about checking her yoga
locker,” Paige said. “I know I didn’t. But today I had some extra
time at my studio because of classes cancelled due to the snow, so I was cleaning
out old abandoned lockers for the new year. The lockers are rented by the
month, but some people stop paying, go off and leave locks on lockers, and
never come back to claim their stuff. So I have them sign a contract in advance
that includes a statement saying if they haven’t paid for three months without
making arrangements with me, I will cut off the locks and remove the
contents.”

“So you decided to cut off Sabrina’s lock too?”

“Exactly. When I came to her locker, I thought—hey
maybe there’s something in there that could help us find her. I didn’t really
think there would be, but I figured that if she comes back, she’ll understand
why I’d cut her lock off to check. So I did. And there was this notebook. Take
a look.”

Paige handed me the notebook. I opened it to the first page.
There it was. Sabrina’s handwritten thirty-day plan.

My 30-Day Plan

Sabrina Larson

November 1

Next week I turn
forty—a major milestone that will be the beginning of my new life. It’s
time to make some major changes. I’ve come a long way, but I still have a long
way to go. I’m not the person I was in my twenties. Back then I spent a lot of
time depressed, broke, floundering, trying to make screwed up relationships
work, trying to be the person I desperately wanted to be. My thirties were
better, but I still made a lot of mistakes, especially by naively trusting people
who were using me to further their own causes.

I take care of people.
It’s what I do. It’s in my DNA. I’m a nurse. I’ve taken care of my sister
Brandi practically all my life. And my friends rely on me to be the strong one,
the careful one, the responsible one. And I am. I’m always there to give and
give, expecting very little in return.

And men. Men have used
me. I break up with them, but they beg me to come back. I feel so guilty, I
can’t say no. I go back, and guess what? Nothing changes. By the time I finally
break up for good with one of those jerks, I’m wrung as dry as an old
washcloth. I always vow to never again get myself into that situation again,
but somehow I do.

For years Diana has
been telling me I’m co-dependent. Deep down, I know she’s right. I like to be
needed. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. And I am extremely loyal,
remaining in harmful situations too long. But I’m tired of following other
people’s lead. I’m tired of feeling used. I’m going to change my life.

Now, on the doorstep of
age forty, I feel calmer, more experienced, more competent. I’m ready to
toughen up, stand up for myself, and be a friend to myself first.

I plan to celebrate my
fortieth birthday with a Moxie getaway retreat, which will be the beginning of
my new life. I’ve already taken some steps by telling people in my life what
has to change in my relationships with them.

I’ve made this 30-day
plan to give them the opportunity to make changes on their own. Some of them
are involved in illegal and unethical activities. Others are using me to make
their own lives easier. They think that because I care about them, I won’t act
against them. But I will. I have to. If they continue as they are, there will
be consequences.

Here is what I’ve told each of them so far. I’m writing it here as a
record for myself of what I’ve said to them. I’ll put this notebook in a safe
place where none of them is likely to accidentally run across it.

Hana and Diana:
You
crossed the line in exacting retribution. Your vigilantism is not only
unethical, it’s illegal. By standing by and letting this go on, I feel tainted
and dishonest. It’s over. You have thirty days to take down your website and
compensate your victims, or I will post details of your cyber-crime along with
your names and contact information all over the internet.

Paige:
I admire your
devotion to your brother, but if you choose to support him, you need to do it
on your own. A year ago, I loaned you money for what you said was an emergency.
You said you’d pay me back quickly, but you haven’t, even though you seem to
have money for vacations and a new car. I’ve let that go by, but now I’m asking
you to repay that loan within the next 30 days.

Lark:
You took an oath.
You are violating it. You have 30 days to make a change or I will report you to
the state board of nursing.

Brandi:
I’ve coddled you
too long. It’s time for you to become a self-sufficient adult. You have 30 days
to move out of my house and find a way to support yourself. If you choose to
ignore this warning, I will take steps to force you out.

Ian
: You’ve been
neglecting your schoolwork and expecting me to give you a pass on that so you
can put all your energy into snowboarding competitions. But I need to step up
as a mother and make you consider your future beyond riding. You have 30 days
to improve your grades or I will seriously curtail the amount of time you spend
riding.

Erik:
You’re harassing
me.
There’s a reason I broke up with
you. I don’t trust you and at this point I don’t even like you. I’m not even
going to give you 30 days. Stop calling me, stop contacting me in any way at
all, or I will give the police and anyone else who is interested any
information I have that will help them track you down.

Getting my relationships straightened out is the beginning. From there
I’ll take care of myself and Ian, but others in my life won’t be leaning on me.
Caring will always be part of my life, but only a part. I plan to leave
nursing. It’s not as rewarding as it used to be. I can afford to take some
career risks. And I have the confidence to try new paths. Turning 40 will be
about freedom, being true to myself, letting myself be who I am.

I closed the red notebook and wiped the tears from my eyes.
My heart ached for Sabrina. “After all that self-examination, goal-setting,
and planning, she didn’t get a chance to implement any of it,” I said
shaking my head as I looked over at Paige.

“I know,” she said, her voice quivering. “I
cried when I read it, too. She was so open about her past vulnerability and so
determined to start fresh in her forties, and then …” She stopped, closed
her eyes and took several deep breaths before she opened them again. “But
maybe she’s still alive. We don’t know for sure. Maybe she can still have that
new life that she planned.”

I wanted that chance for Sabrina. Or at least I wanted
justice for her. I cared about her now in a deeply personal way. A surge of
determination energized me. “We have to find out what happened to
her,” I said. “She deserves that. Let’s call Gayle and get her over
here to help us decide what to do next.”

“Why Gayle?”

“Because she’s not mentioned in the plan, so whatever
happened to Sabrina, she probably wasn’t responsible. Plus she’s the one who
got me involved in trying to find Sabrina. And she’s Sabrina’s best friend, the
one she wants to raise Ian if something happens to her.”

§ § §

Twenty minute later, Gayle dashed in, face flushed, eyes
wide. “You have it? Omigod I can’t believe it. Let me read it. I have to
read it right now.”

Paige handed her the notebook. We watched in silence as Gayle
sat on the couch turning pages with a dazed look on her face. As she read, she
alternately gasped, nodded, slapped her hand against her cheek, or shook her
head “no” and then “yes.” When she finished, she looked up
with an incredulous stare. “Sabrina never told me this stuff,” she
said softly. “She did talk about forty being a milestone and wanting to
make some changes, but not this, not these ultimatums. She says she felt used.
Was she angry? You’re in the plan, Paige. Was Sabrina angry when she told you
she wanted you to pay her back in thirty days?”

“No,” Paige said. “She was clear and
determined, but I didn’t get any sense of anger from her. But it’s not like
she’d been pushing me for the money. This was the first time she’d asked and I
promised her she’d have her money in thirty days like she wanted. But she might
have felt differently about some of the others. It sounds like she’d been
asking them to change, but getting nowhere, and she was losing patience. She
might have been angry with them.”

“Maybe we should think about which of them was likely to
have been angry with her,” I said. “Several people in the plan have
good reason to want Sabrina to disappear. Who looks most likely?”

“Ha!” Gayle barked. “Brandi’s the one.”
Her face hardened. “That irresponsible flake would have been penniless and
homeless at the end of Sabrina’s thirty days and now she’s got everything
Sabrina owned, or at least she does until there’s actual proof that Sabrina’s
dead. She set it all up to keep it looking like Sabrina’s missing. We know she
lied about Erik calling her. Who knows what else she’s lying about? I say we go
after her and push her until she cracks. She’s not as strong as she pretends to
be.”

“I agree,” Paige said, her usually melodic voice
taking on a firm tone. “Let’s go see if she’s home.”

§ § §

I was not optimistic about confronting Brandi—figuring
she’d just stonewall us—but Gayle and Paige were so insistent that I went
along. They also convinced me to go up ahead of them and ring the bell, saying
that if she saw them at the door, she might not open it.

After a few minutes, Brandi answered wearing a purple down
robe and fuzzy green slippers. No makeup. Messy hair. Very un-Brandi-like.
“I’ve been thinking about Erik ever since you called,” she said.
“I can’t believe he’s really gone, when he was here just last night. It’s
such a shock.”

Gayle and Paige got out of the car and started up the walk
behind me. Brandi recoiled when she saw Gayle. “What’s she doing here? You
have no right to bring her here.”

Paige stepped up beside me. “I found a notebook Sabrina
left at my yoga studio,” she said, smiling warmly. “I think you’ll
find it interesting. It has some very important information that might help us
find out what happened to her. If you’ll let us come in, we’ll tell you about
it.”

Brandi glowered and stood her ground. She pointed at Gayle.
“She’s not welcome in my house.”

“Oh put a lid on it, Brandi,” Gayle snapped.
“What can I really do to you with Cleo and Paige right here?”

“We just want to talk a little,” I said.
“We’re trying to find Sabina and we need your help.”

Brandi backed grudgingly away and let us in. The living room
was trashed. Dirty dishes, soft-drink cans and empty chip bags covered the
tables. Stacks of what looked like dirty laundry balanced in one corner.
“I’ll give you five minutes,” she said, as she gathered up a bunch of
papers from the couch so we could sit. “If what you have to say doesn’t
interest me by then, you’re out of here.” She sat down in a chair across
from us and folded her arms across her chest.

Paige smiled at her again. “Did you know Sabrina had a
thirty-day plan to change her life?” she asked.

Brandi glared at us. “She never said anything about
that.”

“It was in the notebook I found in Sabrina’s
locker,” Paige said.

“Why would I believe you bunch of liars know more about
my sister than I do?” Brandi said with a sneer.

Gayle lost what little cool she had, jumped up and stood in
front of Brandi, legs planted wide. I shuddered as angry words erupted from her
mouth like lava from a volcano, but it was too late to stop her.

“It’s a real plan that Sabrina made and you’re a big
part of it,” Gayle said pointing at Brandi. “Sabrina said she gave
you thirty days to move out and find a way to support yourself. Now isn’t it
just too convenient that Sabrina is missing and you’ve got control of her
money.”

Any hope of a rational conversation with Brandi was over at
that point and I knew it. But I watched transfixed for another couple of
minutes as the vitriol continued.

Brandi jumped up facing Gayle. “I’ve had enough from
you,” she screamed. “Get out and stay away from me, or I promise you
I’ll file a harassment suit against you so fast it will make your head swim.
And if you think you can get Ian away from me, think again. I’ll find Ian’s dad
and have him file for guardianship and that will leave you up shit creek.”

Then she turned her attention to us, waving her arms wildly.
“And you,” she said, pointing accusingly at Paige. “What were
you doing going in Sabrina’s locker? You have no right. Any property of hers
that you found belongs to Ian and me. So hand it over or I’ll sue your ass
too.”

Before she could turn her wrath on me, I stood up and looked
her directly in the eyes. “Enough, Brandi,” I said firmly. “We
hear you. We hoped to get your cooperation, but clearly that’s not an option.
So we’ll go.”

I could only hope that Gayle and Paige would follow me to the
door, and fortunately they did. We all ignored Brandi’s shouts. “Give me
that notebook right now. It’s not yours to keep. You’ll be hearing from my
lawyer.” She threw a couple of soft-drink cans at us as we went out. They
clattered down the walk behind us.

§ § §

Back in my office, we congratulated ourselves on our decision
to leave the notebook locked safely in my office when we went to Brandi’s.
“If one of us had it in our hands, that bitch would have gotten it away
and destroyed it for sure,” Gayle said.

“Well that didn’t happen,” I said. “But
nothing useful happened either.”

“Sorry,” Gaye said. “I screwed up. I thought
we could crack her, but I went at her too hard and too fast.”

“Never mind,” I said. “Getting information
from her was always a long shot. Let’s move on.” We sat silently for
several minutes. Then I knew what we had to do. “Paige, I think you should
go into my apparition chamber and try to reach Sabrina,” I said.

Paige blanched. “So you think Sabrina is dead?”

I looked at Gayle who was looking down at her feet. “I
think she must be,” I said, “because Gayle reached her spirit in the
chamber two days ago.”

Paige gasped. “Gayle! You contacted Sabrina? Why didn’t
you tell us? What did she say?”

Gayle squirmed and rubbed the back of her neck, continuing to
look down. She looked like she had swallowed something slimy.

“Gayle,” Paige said softly. “Was it so upsetting
that you can’t even talk about it? Maybe Cleo can tell me.” She turned to
me. “What did Sabrina say to Gayle?”

I sat back and let a minute go by. “It’s not for me to
tell,” I said. “It’s up to Gayle whether she wants to share what
happened.”

Gayle sat up straight, arms crossed over her chest. She
stared at me and took a deep breath. “Okay, Cleo,” she almost
whispered. “I think you know what I’m going to say next. I didn’t actually
contact Sabrina. You knew that all the time, didn’t you?”

“What?” Paige asked, tilting her head to the side.
“Why would you lie about that, Gayle?”

“It was the only way I could think of to undercut
Brandi’s story that Sabrina is missing, but alive,” Gayle said.

I wasn’t surprised at Gayle’s lie—only a little
surprised that she admitted it with so little prodding.

“That’s what I figured,” I said. “You thought
if you pretended to contact Sabrina’s spirit everyone would believe she’s dead
and by the terms of her will, you’d have control of Ian and Sabrina’s
estate.”

“That’s right,” Gayle said, her voice flat.
“But afterwards I couldn’t go ahead with it. That’s why I didn’t tell
anyone else. I don’t want Sabrina to be dead. I want to be thinking positively,
to have my intention be that she’s still alive.” She bent forward again,
covering her face with her hands.

Paige wrapped her arms around Gayle. “It’s alright,
Gayle,” she said soothingly. “This is a terrible time for all of us
and we’re all cracking a little under the stress. But if you and Cleo think I
should go in the chamber and try to reach Sabrina, I’m ready.”