Lyon's Heart (8 page)

“Fuck me harder Colt I’m not
gonna break…hold my leg up for me…yeah right there…” I knew I
should’ve pulled my strokes but fuck she felt so good I couldn’t
hold back. So I’d given her the fucking she wanted, begged for, and
came harder than I ever have in my fucking life. I’m talking eyes
crossing and back locking up on me. Fucking girl.

Then of course she had to go
and do the shit she always does. Fucking women.

“Colt.”

“What?” I don’t sleep for
shit now because she has trouble sleeping comfortably with her
beach ball tummy. I’d read about that in one of the books so I was
prepared for it. These days we sleep with me sitting up more or
less, and her reclining back against me. She always seems to need
shit in the middle of the night and I’m the fetcher. I thought this
was just going to be another ice cream run or maybe she needed
ointment rubbed into her itchy tummy but no such luck. She hunched
over and grabbed her stomach and all the air was leeched out of me.
My mouth went dry and I felt panic try to set in before I pushed it
back.

“My water broke.”

She sounded scared shiltless
so I knew it was going to be on me. I don’t know where I got it
from but I knew I had to be on my game this time. I can’t show any
fear or she’d freak. I took a deep breath and pushed down the fear
that was clawing up my throat.

It’s a situation Lyon handle
it.

“Okay babe we’re ready for
this.” I was up and moving on autopilot. Her bag was packed and
already in the car, which had been prepared with the baby seat and
all we needed for coming home weeks ago. My mind was suddenly very
clear for some strange reason that I didn’t understand because I’d
been scared as fuck at the mere thought of this night. I called the
doctor and was told to bring her to the hospital. Mom was next on
the list and she would get the phone tree going. We were in the car
and on the move fifteen minutes after she first called my
name.

“Colt why do I need the
comforter wrapped around me?”

“It’s cold.” Her argument
that her coat was enough fell on deaf ears as we drove through the
streets, which were eerily empty. What the fuck, did all kids
decide this shit? What was up with the going into labor in the
middle of the night?

I kept one hand on her tummy
over the comforter all the way and every cringe was felt in my gut.
I knew I wasn’t cut out to see her in pain but this was one pain I
couldn’t bear for her. I gritted my teeth against the yell that
wanted to break free because she was looking at me with wide eyes
full of fear.

“We’ve got this babe, we
took all the classes and read all the books.”

“Colt the fucking books does
not tell you what to do about the burning pain of something tearing
through your body trying to rip you in half.” Cue the waterworks;
fuck me.

“I know babe but here
they’ll give you something for the pain. Aren’t you glad you didn’t
go with the home birth thing?”

I guess that was the wrong
shit to say because she actually growled at me. Shit, the books
covered this part too.

They met us at the door with
a chair and she was rushed off to be prepped. Somebody was saying
something about filling out papers but they were out of their
fucking minds. Luckily for them mom and dad came in behind us and I
heard dad go into doctor mode which took care of that. I never let
go of her hand the whole time, but I couldn’t tell you shit about
what was being said. I only had eyes for her. She was trying to be
brave but I could see the stark fear in her face as she squeezed
the shit out of my hand.

I stood tall like the man
that I am for the sixteen hours it took my baby to come into the
world. If you believe that shit I’ve got a bridge to sell
you.

The happy fuck nurse took us
into a room and started rattling off questions. Kat was doing all
she could to breathe and my brain was still at home on my side of
the fucking bed; sheer terror. I knew what I was in for here I’d
read about it enough to scare the fuck out of myself.

“How far apart are your
contractions? Did your water break are you in a lot of pain?” What
the fuck?

“Look I don’t know how far
apart they are, she got up and told me her water broke and fifteen
minutes later we were on the road. She was in pain the whole
fucking way here so you need to give her something like now. Oh
yeah she doesn’t like needles so we signed up for the intravenous
sedation thing whatever the fuck.” This whole time Kat had a death
grip on my hand and I was sweating.

“We can’t give her anything
until we’ve checked her over sir…”

“Uh which part of she’s in
pain did you not get?” She started hooking up all these things to
Kat and I thought my fucking heart would stop.

“What the fuck what’s going
on?”

“Colt.” She wasn’t in too
much pain to ride my ass however.

“These are just so we can
monitor the baby sir and make sure everything is working as it
should.”

“Uh huh where’s the
doctor?”

“She should be here any
moment she called ahead and told us to prepare for you.”

The doc showed up not long
after that and everything became a blur. People came and went in
the room. Her mom, Char and mine were in the room with us. The shit
looked nothing like anything I’d imagined. There was a separate
little area with table and chairs like people were here to hang out
or some fuckery. I’m pretty sure people spoke and I answered but I
have no idea what was said. I do remember yelling at someone to do
something to end her misery when she cried and screamed in pain,
that shit was not allowed. I prayed harder that night than on any
other that I could remember. She had moments of rest but those were
way too short to suit me and each time she started up with the
breathing and the screaming I was ready to go to war. I wondered
about the purpose of the Lamaze class because I couldn’t remember
half the shit they’d taught me. I remembered enough to get us
through and by the time my Caitlin was born squalling and
complaining there were tears on my face.

She was the most beautiful
thing I’d ever seen in my life but she was so fucking tiny she
scared the shit out of me. When they placed that little bundle in
my arms my heart just laid down. I was done, whatever I’d had left
after her mother got her hooks in me she took. I put her in her
mother’s arms and the sight brought me to my knees. There was a
sudden flurry of movement as everyone wanted to get their hands on
my girls and I wanted to tell them all to get the hell out. It was
pretty much written in stone from that moment on. I wasn’t going to
play well with others when it came to my little family.

Three days after my daughter
was born I went and got her name tattooed over my heart right
beneath her mother’s, my life felt complete.

When I brought them home we
were overrun with company for the first week. I hardly got to hold
my little girl because the women in my life were baby hogs and
Elena was the worst, damn. She was here from the first thing in the
morning till late at night. She and her posse had pretty much taken
over my damn house. Kat didn’t seem to mind but I was at the end of
my rope. I actually had to steal my kid to get some time with her.
She was a daddy’s girl through and through though I don’t care what
the rest of them said. Dad was another one, him Drake and Cy were
almost as bad as the women. My poor kid got passed around more in
her first month of life than a football.

I finally put my foot down.
I had stayed home for the first three weeks but had to go back to
the shop because of the amount of orders we’d been getting lately
but I came up with a new rule. When I came home in the evenings she
was mine everyone else had to head out.

“Colt you’re obsessed.” Kat
was puttering around the nursery putting stuff away while I rocked
my girl in my arms.

“Your point?”

She just shook her head at
me and went about her business, which was fine by me. She’s another
one I have to fight her for baby time too.

Caitlin didn’t sleep in her
crib for the first few months of her life. She fell asleep on my
chest and stayed there until the next morning when I got up. The
only reason that came to an end is because she was starting to move
around a lot more and I got scared that I might roll over in the
night and smother her. That first month I hardly slept at night
because she got up every couple of hours. But by the end of that
month she was sleeping better. I wanted to move her into our room
but all the women had a lot to say about that idea so I let it go.
When I wasn’t working I was with my baby. It was hard to believe
that she had been the orchestrator of all my fears and angst in the
last few months or so. Now I couldn’t imagine our lives without
her. There was a reason behind my madness. I planned on forming a
bond with my kid that would never be broken. I wasn’t going to wait
until she was a teen to try to reel her in. I’d read enough horror
stories to know that that’s not what I wanted. I still get a little
freaked out every once in a while but all in all we’re
good.

My girls were healthy and
happy and all was right in my world. Caitie bear was her own little
person. I wasn’t sure which of us she was more like, me or her
mother, but I do know she knows her dad. She’d pick her little head
up when I come into the house as soon as she heard my voice and
track me around the room until I picked her up. Those first few
months had been eye opening. I’d learned that my capacity for love
was tremendous, I loved both my girls something fierce. They’ll
probably put me in an early grave.

KAT

Well I survived the
pregnancy, barely. I think it’s safe to say my life has made a
complete three sixty since I got on that plane to come here. Within
the year I had a new husband and a baby. I don’t think I had a
moment to think until after the delivery room. Colton Lyon is like
a Mac truck, he just runs you over and that’s it. I thought he was
bad before the baby came but since she got here there’ve been more
rules and regulations laid down than a reform school. During my
pregnancy there were times I thought he was going to go into a
coma. He stressed over every little thing and my movements were
curtailed ‘til his mother and mine had to come to the house if they
wanted to see me. Every other word was Kat you can’t and Kat don’t.
I understood what was going on with him so I took it in stride.
Don’t get me started on when he got into the cop shows and reading
up on everything that could go wrong. He did everything but wrap me
up in bubble wrap and tuck me away somewhere. And when I got big as
a sperm whale as Jared liked to tease me, my husband still thought
I was the most beautiful thing in the world. He never stopped
loving me, or showing me how much, but have mercy I’m not sure
there’s ever been another one like him. Unbeknownst to him the
women around town were secretly mooning over him. They thought he
was just the hottest thing on two feet because of the way he
treated this pregnancy. Some of the women at the Lamaze class used
to ask me the most embarrassing questions. That is, when they
weren’t just staring at him as if they were in a trance. I never
felt threatened by them though because he pretty much still did the
same thing to me when he took off his shirt. But Colton had no clue
he was devastating half the pregnant women in the town. One of them
who was a little older, maybe in her early forties had pulled me
aside one evening while Colt was grilling the instructor to tell me
and I quote. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way dear but I hope you
don’t mind the fact that your husband plays a very big part in my
latest fantasies’. I didn’t know if to be flattered or appalled. I
never told him any of that because he was always worried about how
I felt. And if he thought someone was doing something that would
upset me there would be hell to pay. He read any and everything he
could get his hands on about being a good dad and the best way to
raise a child. When it came down to it he was obsessed to put it
mildly. Everything was about his baby girl. We’re not going to
discuss his behavior when he first heard we were having a girl and
the big bad biker boy hit a hitch. The guys teased him unmercifully
but his dad is the worst. Nothing can get Colt to muttering more
than Daniel riding him about losing his mind. I couldn’t walk down
the stairs by myself because I’d made the stupid mistake of telling
Colt I could no longer see my feet. His logic was that if I
couldn’t see them then I obviously had no idea where I was
stepping. I very rarely lost it and snapped at him, which he
ignored anyway, so what was the point? Mom made the mistake of
mentioning a midwife in his presence and I never heard the end of
that one. He lectured he ranted and he threatened. In the end it
was just easier to go along with his dictates instead of as he said
‘trying some hair brained bullshit I’d seen on TV.’ Telling him
that women did it all the time meant nothing to him so I stopped
trying. In the delivery room he did okay, after he got through
yelling at everyone to do something. He tried really hard to hide
it but I knew he was terrified. His face was white and he kept
gritting his teeth. It probably didn’t help that I was screaming
like someone had been driving spikes into my vagina, which in my
opinion is an accurate approximation of what labor felt like. When
he threatened to flatten the quack doctor if she didn’t do
something about the pain I had to pull myself together and handle
the situation, it helped me deal with the pain a little.