Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (61 page)

‘Here!' she said te me, puttin chips on a cut of bread. ‘Give tha te Harry an get them up fer their tea.'

Teddy shot outa the bed when he saw the chips, an Charlie behind him. Me ma put a huge ray an a bag of chips on the plate an carried it over te Jackser. ‘Here! Take this!' An he grabbed the plate, snufflin.

‘Fuck me, Sally, but it's great te be outa tha kip!'

An he grabbed her arse, an she laughed an said, ‘Stop, will ya! They're watchin.' But she seemed happy. I felt they were dirty, an I didn't like me ma much. I wanted te get away from her. She's dirty! Just like him.

I sat down on the chair wit me back te the room an looked at the empty grate, tryin te get rid of the picture in me head of Jackser lyin on top of me an suffocatin me.

‘Here! Have yer bread an chips, Martha!'

I lifted me head an nodded te her. ‘I don't want them.'

‘Here! Eat them, they're gettin cold on ye. Ye have te eat somethin!'

‘I'm not hungry!' I said.

An she put one of them in her mouth an said, ‘Eat them, they're lovely!'

When I said nothin, she shook her head an said, ‘Tha's terrible! Many's the one tha'd be glad of them!' An she gave some of them te Harry an put more in her mouth, an gave a bit of the bread te Charlie an the other bit te Teddy, until they were all gone. An then said, ‘Listen, Martha! Get them all inta the bed now, it's late.'

Jackser handed me the plate an said, ‘Tha was lovely. I enjoyed tha. Jaysus! I'm banjacksed! I'm hittin the sack. Don't be long, Sally! An put the light out! Turn yer head, you!'

An I went inta the scullery while he pulled off his trousers, showin his hairy bandy legs, an held the front of his shirt over his horrible privates, an rushed in towards the scullery, headin fer the tilet. ‘I'm fuckin burstin!' he laughed.

‘Jaysus!' me ma laughed at me. ‘Tha's a terrible carry on.'

I gave me ma a dirty look an went te put the childre te bed. ‘Get inta bed, quick!' I said te Teddy an Charlie, an whipped off me frock an dived inta the bed before Jackser came back. I rolled meself inta a tight ball an wondered if I should swap places wit Charlie. Too late now. I could hear him openin the tilet door.

I dived under the blankets an heard the two of them whisperin, an then me ma laughed. ‘Go way outa that!' me ma said.

Jackser came rushin in te the bed, snufflin. I didn't move, holdin me breath while the mattress heaved an he settled himself. ‘Hurry up, Sally! Put the light out,' he roared.

‘Yes! Yes! Hold yer horses,' me ma shouted back. ‘I'm hurryin.'

Then me ma shuffled inta the room an turned the light out. I waited fer her te get inta the bed so I could let me breath out an try te let me scrunched-up muscles loosen. I was so worried trouble might break out any minute.

‘Come on, get in,' Jackser said as me ma climbed over him. An the mattress sank, an we all rocked from side te side wit the extra weight.

‘Shush!' I heard her whisper te the babby as she lifted him closer inta the wall. Then she settled herself, an I heard them whisperin an laughin. I let out a breath then an loosened me muscles, stretchin me legs a little but not too much or Jackser would kick the back off me fer takin his room where he put his feet. Then I was out cold.

When I woke again, it was mornin. Me eyes shot open an clapped on Jackser pourin the tea. Me heart sank! It wasn't a dream after all!

‘We must a spent every penny yesterday,' he was sayin te me ma.

I looked at him. His face was fatter, an his skin looked the colour of putty. An his eyes was sunk inta the back of his head, an his hair was all cropped off. Me ma opened the press beside the fire. ‘There's a few nice things here. I can bring them over te the pawn.' She held up me lovely blue frock, an I held me breath. Ah, no! Not that, I thought. I never even got a chance te try it on. I was savin tha te go wit me lovely new curls! An me coat an sandals she's taken, too. I jumped outa the bed an threw on me old frock tha was so worn out ye'd think twice about wipin the floor wit it.

‘Ma! Leave me frock,' I whispered. ‘Ye have enough stuff there.' I looked at her coat an her skirts.

‘Ah! Don't be moidierin me!' She threw the lot onta the bed an got the pillaslip an stuffed them all in.

Jackser swallied down his tea an rubbed his hands together, an shook his arm inta the air an bent himself, snufflin, an said happily, ‘Tha's the way, Sally! Get them over te the pawn an try te get as much as ye can, an hurry back. I want te get goin.'

‘Where are ye goin te?' me ma asked, chewin on her lip an shakin a bit wit nerves.

‘I won't be long. I've just te see some fella about somethin, then I'll be back.'

‘Ye needn't think ye're goin off drinkin wit the money,' me ma said, gettin annoyed.

Jackser went stiff an clenched his fists an swung his head away, an then swung back te look at me ma. ‘Did I say tha? I'm only in the door five minutes, Mrs, an ye're startin again!'

‘Come on, Ma! Let's go.' I grabbed the heavy pillacase an rushed te the door.

‘I'm not sayin anythin,' me ma said back. ‘You're the one wantin te go off an drink.'

Jackser looked up at the ceilin an held his arms tight by his side an clenched his fists. ‘I'm warnin ye, Mrs!'

I went te me ma an pulled her te the door. ‘Come on, Ma! There's goin te be a big queue, an we'll never get back.'

She turned then, sayin, ‘Don't think ye can make a fool outa me!'

I carried the bundle out the gate an on te Foley Street, headin fer the North Strand.

‘It didn't take the bandy aul bastard long te get back te his old ways,' me ma said.

I was annoyed meself. ‘Ye're only gettin wha ye asked fer, Ma! We were happy on our own, but ye took him back. Ye can't get on without him, Ma. An he'll always be the same. He's no good, you've been told tha a thousand times by everyone who knows him. So wha's there te talk about?'

‘Sure, where would we go? He'd track us down an come an kill the lot of us!'

‘No, he wouldn't! He's a coward if ye stand up te him, but ye're afraid of him, Ma, an he knows it. If I was big, I'd smash everythin I could lay me hands on down on his bleedin head. He wouldn't come back a second time lookin fer more.'

Me ma chewed her lip an coughed an said, changin the subject, ‘How much do ye think he'll give us, Martha?'

I thought about it an said, ‘They're nearly new, Ma. Ask fer two quid, hope fer thirty bob, an take twenty-five bob rock bottom!'

‘Tha'd be grand!' me ma said, laughin.

She hurried on then, an I said, ‘Here, Ma, give us a hand, this is gettin too heavy fer me, the arms are fallin offa me.'

The queue was out the door, an I left me ma chattin te the other women an squeezed me way inside te see wha was happenin. The place was crowded. Women crushed up against each other, all holdin out bundles a clothes an watchin the men, three of them, behind the high counter, examinin suits, an clothes, an bed sheets, an everythin an anythin they could get their hands on te pawn.

The men rushed up an down, puttin the stuff away on high shelves an writin out dockets an arguin about money. ‘Ah, Eddie! I'm tellin ye, ye gave me a pound on tha bundle last week. Tha's me best stuff in tha parcel, so it is!'

‘Josie! You've been bringin tha parcel in since I was a lad, an that's not today or yesterday, need I remind ye!'

The other women laughed, an an aul one roared up from the back, ‘How could we forget wit yer baldy head te remind us.'

‘Ah, you've gone an done it now, Mrs! He's goin te run the lot of us out the door fer passin remarks on him!'

Another woman said, ‘Well, give us twelve shillins, Eddie! An I'm insultin meself at tha. Them sheets are the best linen money can buy!'

‘Three shillins!' Eddie said. ‘An I won't upset meself by openin the parcel an watchin them fall te bits in me hands.'

‘Right, then! I'll take eight shillins!' Josie said.

‘Five shillins, that's me final offer,' Eddie said. ‘An I'm gettin too soft. If I keep this up, I'll have te close up shop.'

‘All right, then! I'll take it,' Josie said happily.

Eddie pushed the parcel down the counter, an it slid inta the hands of another man, who picked it up an rushed off te put it on a high shelf, standin himself up on the ladder.

Josie took her docket an the two half-crowns an moved off, an another woman moved over, puttin a bundle of dirty rags on the counter. ‘Eddie, love! Just give us five bob on these,' she said, fixin a little babby tha popped its head up from under her brown shawl an gave a roar. ‘Shush! Shush! Here!' an she stuck her nipple inta the babby's mouth an pulled the shawl up an tightened it aroun her, an the babby was quiet, suckin happily on her diddy. Her black hair was thin, like long bits of thick thread hangin aroun her shoulders. An she put one side behind her ear te get a better look at Eddie.

‘Ah, me aul flower, I'll give ye a shillin. An that's only out of the goodness of me heart!'

‘Ah, Eddie! Give us three bob. I'll be back in no time te claim them out!'

‘I'm not the Vincent de Paul!' Eddie roared. ‘Do ye want te put me out on the street? Two bob, an that's me final offer,' he said.

‘It will do,' the woman said.

An I moved me way out, gettin squashed, cos the women wouldn't give an inch of space. ‘Let me out! I want te get out,' I said, tryin te lift me head up fer air.

‘Here! Get out.' An an aul one gave me a dig an pushed me through the crowd. They were all annoyed cos I was a young one an they might lose their place in the queue. ‘Bloody young ones, pesterin ye!' an aul one roared after me.

Me ma was lookin very worried. ‘He's goin te go mad,' she said. ‘How long more have we te wait?'

‘It's slow, Ma, but the queue is movin. We won't be long.'

‘Jaysus, he'll go mad,' she said te herself.

Me ma was in a state by the time our turn came. She was worried cos we'd been waitin nearly two hours. ‘How much do ye want?' Eddie asked me ma, examinin the clothes.

‘Eh! Will ye give us ... eh!' ... cough ...

‘Three quid!' I said, haulin meself up onta the high counter an diggin me feet inta the panel te stop the aul ones pushin me off.

‘I'll give ye a pound,' he said, lookin at me ma.

She chewed her lip an said slowly, ‘Ah, no! I won't take tha.'

‘Two pound ten, Mister. Them clothes are the best quality money can buy!' I shouted up.

Eddie looked at me an said, ‘Are ye tryin te take me job? Thirty bob! Tha's the best I can do,' he said.

‘OK, leave it at two quid. We'll be back on Friday te claim them,' I said.

‘Thirty-five bob, an that's me final offer!' Eddie said, puttin the stuff back in the pillacase.

Me ma looked at me, happily chewin her lip. ‘Done, Mister!' I said.

‘Jaysus, ye can let her out!' an aul one said, laughin behind me.

The St Vincents got Jackser a job. He was te call down te see the man on Monday mornin. ‘I'm very grateful te ye fer all the help ye can give me,' says Jackser, implorin the man wit his hands joined together as if he was prayin te the man.

‘That's all right,' said the man. ‘So long as you're there on time. Ten a.m. sharp, mind! And show you are a willing worker, you should have no problem being taken on.'

‘Thank you very much, Sir! The blessins o God on ye! An I'll get the childre te pray fer ye. I'll even get the Mrs te light a candle fer ye.'

‘Yes, well, that's all right, thank you!' said the Vincents man. ‘And don't forget, ask for Mr O'Brien. He's a personal friend of mine. So don't let me down. He's doin this as a personal favour to me!'

‘Oh, have no worries on tha end,' said Jackser. ‘I'm a very hard worker when I get goin. All I need is the start.' An he gave a little salute wit his two fingers pointed at his head an then shot them at the man, lookin very serious altogether.

Jackser's gone off te see the man about the job. An he's washed an shaved wit the new tuppenny Silver Gillette blade I rushed te the shop fer this mornin. Me ma looks happy. ‘It'll be grand havin the few bob if he gets tha job,' me ma said. ‘I hope everythin goes all right.'

‘Ah, he'll get the job, Ma. The Vincents man was certain.' Then I felt happy meself. ‘Just think, Ma! He'll be out all day, an we can do wha we like! An we'll have money te spend on food! Oh, Ma, this is great!'

I looked at her, but she didn't seem sure. ‘I hope so, or maybe he'll be chasin dyed blondes.'

‘Ah, Ma! Stop annoyin me. Ye're always goin on about tha! Can I go outside te play an watch fer him?'

‘Yeah, but don't go far. He'll be out lookin fer ye when he gets back.'

I was watchin two young fellas playin cards when I saw Jackser comin in through the gates. I rushed down an got inta the room behind him.

‘Well, Sally, I got the job. I'm a night watchman on a buildin site down on the North Wall. An I'm te start tonight.' Me ma was blinkin an chewin her lip an smilin, takin it in. But I was busy tryin te work out if there was any good in tha. He'll be here durin the day an out at night when we're all sleepin. Ah, tha's too bad! But at least we'll have money. ‘Right, Sally, get goin,' he suddenly said. ‘I need te get me head down an get some kip. So I want this room cleared. Get them kids outa here an get me some grub te eat. Put on a stew.'

Me ma looked in her purse an handed me two shillins, tha's the last of the money! An she handed it te me an sort of took it back, not wantin te part wit it. ‘Eh ... go down an get me a quarter a sausages, an two carrots, an an onion, an a packet a Bisto. An bring me back the change.'

When Jackser woke up, me ma gave him the stew from the pot. An we all crowded aroun. ‘Wha's this, Mrs?' he roared, swingin his eyes up te heaven. ‘Have ye not fed these kids?'