Made to Love (21 page)

Mason sensed the change in mood immediately and attributed it to Anne being gone. “I don’t mind. It’s like a treasure hunt. Who knows what we will find.”

“So far, the only thing I have found out is my mom was a sentimental hoarder who didn’t throw anything away.” Marly shook a handful of papers. “Seriously? These are all my report cards. Who holds on to that kind of stuff?”

“Um, your mom, honey. She loved you. Plain and simple. Just accept it and know it was done with love.”

Marly sighed. “It’s just a lot of stuff I’m going to have to drag downstairs in order to throw it out.”

“About that
.” Mason narrowed the gap between them and studied Marly’s face for several seconds before she spoke. “I’d like it if you considered sticking around a while. The house is paid for. I already know you can work from anywhere. Besides, I like having you here. I haven’t had someone I felt such a strong connection within a long time.”

“Mason, please.” Marly turned away from Mason quickly. There were too many emotions in her eyes to risk holding her gaze too long. “I need to…”

Marly started for the stairs, but Mason grabbed her hand and forced her to turn around. “You need to what? Go to sleep? Get a drink? Sit down? Or get away from me? Lately, it seems like all you are doing is running away from me.”

“It’s not that.” Marly cast her eyes toward the floor. “This house
, it’s too much for me. I sense my mom in every room. It’s hard to breathe in here. It keeps the hurt too close to me. I have a lot to work through, and I can’t do it here. Having an everyday reminder that she is gone is too much to handle.”

“So
it has nothing to do with me?”

Marly shook her head no and hoped it was convincing enough. She didn’t think she could utter the words and make them believable. “I like you, Mason. You’re the only thing that would keep me here.”

Mason’s lip curved into a smile. “What can I do to convince you to stay?”

Love me.
The words reverberated around Marly’s head like a cannon shot. The one person that would keep her in Burlington was the one person that was driving her away, with no knowledge of her transgression. Marly swallowed her emotions and forced a smile. “At this point, you would have to tie me up and lock me in the attic.”

“That could be arranged.” Mason winked playfully.

Marly’s eyes widened, and she jumped away and scampered down the steps. “You’d have to catch me first.”

Mason tilted her head and smiled wickedly. That was a challenge she would readily accept. She leaned over the ladder, catching
sight of Marly’s taunting smile. “You better run, little girl. The big, bad coyote is going to get you.” Mason was half-way down the steps before the words left her mouth. She leapt off the last few and caught Marly in a bear hug. She could feel her heart pounding out of her chest. Marly’s bottom pressed against her hips, and the intoxicating scent of her hair filled Mason’s nostrils and made her stomach flip-flop.

Marly leaned back into Mason’s arms, reveling in the warmth of her body. She held her breath, praying the moment wouldn’t end. She loved the feeling
of her body tucked against Mason’s, where she fit perfectly. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like this; bodies and arms intertwined in silent repose, before Mason turned her around and held her gaze, never breaking the contact. Marly knew her eyes said everything she couldn't, and she fought to pull away.

“Don’t.” Mason tilted Marly’s chin up and studied her face. “Tell me why you won’t give this town a chance.”

Marly’s breath came in short, ragged gasps. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I…”

Before she could finish, Mason dipped her head and kissed Marly softly.
Mason’s head screamed at her to stop, but the feel of Marly’s mouth against hers sent blood coursing through her veins, and she pushed the warnings aside. She sucked Marly’s bottom lip between hers and ran her tongue over it then slipped inside Marly’s inviting mouth. Their tongues brushed together, and Mason’s arms tightened around Marly’s body. The kiss started slow, but the fire in Mason’s body soon burned out of control, and she feasted on Marly’s mouth hungrily. She felt herself spinning out of control.

Marly gave into the searing kiss, knowing it would break her heart later. But for now, she needed to have a taste of the forbidden. To know what she would never possess. She slipped her arms beneath Mason’s shirt and wound them around her back, her palms skimming the soft skin beneath them. She let her tongue match the insatiable strokes of Mason’s, ignoring the pain she knew would come.

A loud clap of thunder shook them both and Mason pulled away guiltily. “Shit. I’m sorry. I thought…I just…” Mason ran a hand through her hair uncomfortably. “I don’t know why I did that. It seemed right at the moment. God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Marly put her hand on Mason’s arm and shook her head. “Mason, stop. It’s okay. It’s just a kiss. We’re really emotional right now. It’s natural to express that in…”

“A kiss?” Mason swiped at her lips. “I don’t think that’s the normal way most people express emotion. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been close to. It’s just…sometimes I feel things. Things I shouldn’t feel, and it plays with my head. We’re friends and here I am trying to mess that up.”

Marly could see the confusion in Mason’s
eyes, and she fought to remain detached. Something changed in that kiss, she knew it. It proved to her that what she felt for Mason was more than lust or a crush. She was in love with her, that much she knew with certainty. The revelation strengthened her resolve to put as much distance between them as she could. “It’s fine. Forget it happened.”

“Don’t you think we should talk about it?” Mason was still trying to work through the influx of emotions that the kiss had stirred up. She thought if they discussed it like rational adults, she might be able to sort through the conflicting feelings she was having. She hated to use such a clichéd term, but things suddenly seemed complicated and Mason didn’t do complicated very well. “I mean aren’t you the least bit curious as to why we would
suddenly make out like banshees?”

“Correction. Why you would all of a sudden attack me and try to give me a tonsillectomy with your tongue. And no, I’m not the least bit curious. Like I said, when people are in a heightened emotional state, they do
things, which are normally against their better judgment. There’s no need to talk this one to death. I’m already past it.” Marly prayed that would be the end of it, because she was not anywhere near past it. She was right in the middle of it. She fought the urge to touch her tingling lips. She watched Mason struggle with her words, and she smiled apologetically. “Honey, it’s just a kiss. Let it go.”

Mason nodded absentmindedly. She stared at the proverbial door that Marly had shut on the topic. She shook her head in bewilderment. Marly
left no room for discussion. For that matter, she seemed so unaffected that Mason wondered if she were the only one that was present for the kiss. The blank look in Marly’s eyes did little to answer her doubts. “You’re right. I should go. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t mess things up. I really would like you to stick around a while.”

“It’s already forgotten. I’ll consider your request.” Marly shut the door behind Mason and leaned her forehead against the door. Her heart still hammered in her chest. Only now that she was alone did she dare brush her fingers against her lips. They felt swollen and bruised, a lingering reminder of their kiss. Marly allowed herself a moment’s dwelling on the night before she pushed it aside. She looked out the window, noting that Mason’s kitchen light was now on. She turned the light off and wrenched herself from the door, knowing she was leaving her heart behind and praying somehow she could let Mason go.

Chapter 15

Aspen watched Mason pace the length of her living room. That, and the incessant wringing of her hands let Aspen know something was bothering her friend. “Wanna talk about it?”

Mason shot Aspen a look of despair. “Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had everything all figured out, only to have another
situation
arise that made you think the situation you were in wasn’t as great as you thought, but the new situation doesn’t want to be part of your life, and you realize that you may be without a situation at all?”

Aspen hid her smile. She wondered just how long it would take for Mason to realize her heart wasn’t in the same place her head was. “I’m going to save you the trouble of explaining that. Sufficed to say, I have a pretty good idea what your situation is.”

“You do?” Mason looked dumbfounded. “I am the one in it, and I’m not even sure what my situation is.”

“Let me guess. Situation one is Nikki and
situation
two…” Aspen accentuated the word by raising her eyebrows suggestively. “…is Marly.”

“Yes.” Mason sat down with a hopeless sigh.

“You are dating Nikki, but out of nowhere you realized you might have feelings for Marly, and she is leaving town, so now you’ll never know what could have been.”

“That’s pretty messed up, isn’
t it? Don’t get me wrong. Nikki is great. I don’t know why she gives me the time of day, but lately I can’t stop thinking of Marly as more than a friend.”

Mason’s hesitation on the word lately let Aspen know that something must have happened to
change the situation, as they were calling it. “Did something happen between you two?”

“I kissed her.” Mason shrank back, waiting for Aspen to ream her out for her transgression. “Well, attacked her is more like it. One taste and I was insatiable.”

“And how does she feel about this? Have you talked…” Aspen stopped at the sound of crying. She held up a finger. “Hold that thought.”

The quiet in the room gave Mason way too much time to think about what had happened. Over the past few days, she’d played the angel and devil on her shoulder more times than she cared to count. On one hand, she knew it shouldn’
t have happened and tried not to let the guilt eat away at her. On the other hand, she couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, and how much she wanted to repeat it just to see if the same fireworks went off in her body.

Five minutes later, Aspen returned, carrying Alex.
His lashes were wet from crying, and Mason could see he was upset.

“Is he alright? We can talk about this later.”

“No. He’s just hungry. Do you mind?”

Mason shook her head no and turned away politely as Aspen got Alex situated and let him nurse.

“I’m decent.” Aspen almost laughed at Mason being such a gentleman. She didn’t have anything Mason hadn’t seen before, and she certainly wasn’t shy now that she’d given birth. “Where were we? Oh yes, have you talked to Marly about it?”

“That’s part of the problem. She doesn’t want to talk about it. She says it’s just a kiss. Let it go.”

Aspen smiled understandingly. “And those of us who like to talk things to death don’t understand the people who don’t want to talk through things.”

“Exactly.” Mason grimaced. “She just frustrates me sometimes.
I don’t understand how she can brush it off like it was nothing.”

“What if it was nothing…at least to her?” Aspen opted for devil’s advocate, though she knew from the
short time she spent with Marly that her desire to ignore it was probably a way to keep from getting hurt. “Maybe this is her way of letting you down easy.”

“No. That’s not it. At least, I don’t think so. I may not have a lot of experience with women, but I know when someone is into a
kiss, and she was into it, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I do. Maybe you should explain.” Aspen smothered a giggle and looked down to check on Alex.

Mason smiled sheepishly. “This locker room talk would go so much better if you at least pretended to play along.”

Aspen turned Alex around and repositioned the blanket. “That’s where Lex comes in handy. So, tell me a little about each
situation, and I’ll try to help you sort it out.”

“I’ll start with Nikki. Hello, she’s gorgeous, spontaneous, full of life and sexy as hell. Did I mention gorgeous
?”

“But…”

“But, as much as I enjoy being with her, there is something holding me back from fully committing to her.” Mason looked away shyly. “We haven’t even slept together.”

“What!” Aspen covered Alex’s ears quickly and lowered her voice. “I mean what. We are talking about Nikki. Lex’s cousin.
The walking sex kitten. The woman you were hot after, couldn’t wait to get her, blah, blah, blah and you haven’t slept together yet.”

Mason shook her head. “Nope. And I can’t even put my finger on why.”

“And that brings us around to situation two. How do you feel about her?”

“At first, she infuriated me. I couldn’t be in the same room with her. She certainly knows how to get off on the wrong foot with people.” Mason shrugged and smiled. “Though, I’ll admit to finding her very attractive despite her bristly exterior.
Then I got to know her. She’s sweet and funny and considerate. She’s mixed up about family like I am. We have Anne in common, and grieving her has brought us closer together. I considered her a dear friend, but nothing more than that. I didn’t see her that way. But all that changed when I kissed her. She made my toes curl. Now, I miss her when she isn’t around. I think of reasons to see her. I ache to be with her, so you can understand my disappointment in the knowledge that it meant nothing. I can’t see my life without her, even if it means we will be friends and no more, but I’m afraid I’m going to lose that too.”

“I can see the dilemma.” And Aspen could. Her heart broke for her friend. She knew the ache of wanting someone you couldn’t have. The weight of it could crush a person.
“I would ask if you’ve told her how you feel, but since it seems to have snuck up on you, I’d say not. Speaking of sneaking up on you, tell me about this kiss. How do you just accidentally kiss someone? Like ‘oops, I tripped and my lips fell on yours’.”

“Funny.” Mason looked at Aspen askance.
“I’m not exactly sure. One minute we were in the attic going through all Anne’s stuff and the next thing I know, I’m planting a big one on her.”

“In the attic? How romantic.”

“Shut it, lippy. It was definitely some romantic shit I was pulling out. I’m not sure what would have happened if a storm hadn’t broken out and rattled us both to our senses.”

“Storm?” Aspen’s brow furrowed in concentration. “Wait. That was a week ago. You’re just now telling me about it.”

Mason screwed up her face guiltily. “Yes. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. What, with Nikki being Lex’s cousin and all, I wasn’t sure how she’d react. This whole situation seems very
Days of our Lives.
Besides, with Nikki being gone this week, I was able to kind of forget about it for a while. Facing her will be tough no matter what I decide.”

Aspen threw a cloth on her shoulder and situated Alex so she could burp him. “You know I wouldn’t say anything to her about it. I can tell it bothers you enough as it is.”

“I’m not sure what to do. Maybe Marly is right. I should forget about the kiss and focus on Nikki. No sense dwelling on what I can’t have. Why wait for Ms. Right, when Ms. Right Now is available.”

“That’s a very
cynical outlook you’ve adopted.” Aspen patted Alex on his back with an automatic rhythm that came naturally now, leaving the majority of her focus for the conversation at hand. “Why did you kiss her in the first place?”

“It seemed like the right thing to do.”

“Well that’s about as romantic as picking the right car insurance.”

“And this is why I come to you for advice about
my situations. Fifteen minutes just saved me fifteen percent heartache.” Mason stuck her tongue out at Aspen. “You should open your own dating clinic. You could sell this advice.”

“Are you done?” Aspen raised an eyebrow and waited
until Mason nodded. “Why did you really kiss her? I don’t care about the setting begging for it or whether it seemed right at the time, why did you
choose
to kiss her?”

Mason fumbled around for several seconds as she pondered her answer. “At that moment, standing with my arms around her and feeling her body pressed against mine, I wanted her more than anyone I’ve ever wanted. I’d trade a thousand good kisses with Nik
ki for one perfect kiss with Marly. In that moment, if one kiss were all we had, I would do the same thing every time.”

“I think you just answered your own question. Now the new one is what are you going to do about it. Settle for Ms. Right Now or follow your heart. We’re made to love, Mason. It’s our nature to want that. Don’t stop at good enough; you chase wonderful.”

“You said it yourself, what if she really doesn’t feel the same way. Then what?”

“Then…” Aspen cradled Alex in her arms, a
far-off smile on her face as she thought about all that she and Lex had been through to get to where they were now. It hadn’t been easy. Five years apart had nearly been her undoing. She learned the hard way that walking away from someone she loved might just be the most difficult thing she’d ever done. But in the end, she knew when Lex came for her that it was for keeps the second time around. She didn’t envy Mason the heartache that she knew would come before Marly came to her senses. “…you show her what she’s walking away from. If she chooses to leave once she knows how you feel, then you pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off and take things one step at a time for a while. That’s the only thing we can do when life breaks our heart. Pretty soon, one step turns into a day, then a week, and one day you wake up and realize that you’ve learned how to live life again. It may not be what we hoped for, but it’s life and we make the best of it that we know how. For the not so good days, lean on us. That’s what friends are for. And you’re welcome to take Alex anytime. He’s good for reminding you that life is a pretty wonderful gift.”

“I suppose I can’t argue with that. He and I are pretty tight.” Mason leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “It means Nikki and I will be having a very uncomfortable discussion later today. Our welcome back dinner could be very interesting.”

“Honey, it’s better to have it now than six months from now. Knowing Nikki, I think she will figure out a way to survive.”

“What?” Mason shot Aspen a look of disbelief. “No way she gets over this…” She gestured the length of her body. “…that quickly. I’m like Folgers, baby. Good to the last drop.”

“Oh, good God. Have you been hanging out with Lex behind my back?”

“No…” Mason waggled her eyebrows. “…but if she’s anything like me, I can see why you didn’t want to let her go.”

“You might want to watch where you step when you leave, it’s getting a bit deep in here.” Aspen couldn’t help smiling though. While Mason was laying it on thick, and most likely, for her ears only, it was nice to see her self-esteem showing. “I think it’s time you and Nikki had a chat.”

“I know.” Mason acquiesced quickly, though she was in no hurry to actually have the ‘it’s not
you; it's me’ conversation. “Tonight seems so soon. I’m sure she probably already senses something is different. I know my texts have been distant at best.”

“Honey, I know it will be
difficult considering how hard you worked to get her to notice you, but it’s the right thing to do. You will respect yourself more for standing up and facing this.”

Mason knew Aspen was
right. If she had any hope of proving to Marly that she was sincerely interested in her, Mason would have to come to her with no ties to the woman who Marly had helped her win. It seemed almost comical now. Marly’s tweaking project worked wonderfully; however, Mason realized that it was all for the wrong person. Like everything in life, she was a day late and a dollar short. For most things, she accepted it, but with Marly, she hoped the tides were changing. Mason inhaled deeply. “You’re absolutely right. I know what I need to do. Thank you for listening to my shit.”

“You’re my best friend, Mas
e. You know I will always be here to help you sort out your
situations.
I hope it works. I really like Marly. And, honestly, she’s better for you than Nikki could ever be. Truth be told, I wasn’t thrilled with that choice. Nikki’s fine to party with, but she’s not relationship material. At least not for you. You’re too good to be the flavor of the month.”

Mason leered suggestively and opened her mouth to reply.

“And don’t, for the love of God, make a comment about how you taste.” Aspen rolled her eyes in anticipation of Mason’s answer, knowing her friend all too well. “I am afraid that Lex is rubbing off on you.”

“Maybe so.” Mason pushed herself out of the chair and rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably. “Guess
I should go home and prepare for
the conversation
.” Mason put air quotes around the last two words to emphasize the dread she was already feeling. She hated hurting people. No matter the reason for her change of heart, she honestly felt bad for what she was doing to Nikki. It was only the deep ache in her chest that called to Marly that pushed her forward. She leaned over and kissed Aspen’s cheek and rubbed Alex’s head softly. “You’re a very lucky woman. I hope I have what you have one day.”