Maggie Get Your Gun (13 page)

The werewolf leaned back in his chair, “This entire fucking
dimension and the next one can burn to the ground for all I care.”

Killian and I looked at one another.  I hadn’t really
thought much about the barter aspect of this plan.

“What about if I said I was hoping to go kill some vampires…?”
I said.

The werewolf began nodding slowly, “I like it when vampires
die.”

“Look at that,” I said cheerfully, “we’ve already got so
much in common.  And if all goes well, a lot of vampires will die.”

He bobbed his head up and down for a few minutes, as if
carrying on an imaginary conversation in his brain, which he probably was. 
Finally, he seemed to come to some sort of agreement with all the voices, “All
right, I’ll talk, but you gotta promise to come back and tell me all about it. 
About staking them through the heart and watching the light go out of their
eyes.  About every moment they gasped and pleaded with you to just give them a
chance.”

“That’s creepy,” I said.

“That’s what I want.”

The guy was certifiable, but I needed the information.  I
shrugged my shoulders and said, “Sure.  You’ve got yourself a deal.”

Killian looked at me like I was crazy. 

“What do you want to know?” asked the werewolf.

“Some werewolves are after a magical artifact…”

“I’ve been locked in a crate for a year, lady.  I have no
idea what the fuck is going on out there.”

“Ooookay…  um… we think some vampires and werewolves have
teamed up and we just need to know why.”

The werewolf leaned forward, suddenly really interested,
“It happened then.  They’re going after Vaclav?”

“Who is going after Vaclav?”

“My fucking pack,” he leaned back, correcting himself, “Not
my pack, but some people I know who are in a pack.”

“What were they planning on doing?”

“Just taking him down.  Doing it however they had to. 
Those bloodsuckers have poached on our territory long enough.  We can’t fly,
but we can bite, and our teeth can puncture through a vampire chest as well as
any stake can.  We just needed someone to get them on the ground for us.  We
could take care of the rest.”

“So no werewolf would ever team up with Vaclav, right?” I
confirmed.

“Shit, lady.  A werewolf would rather have sex with a cat
than run with that fucker.  The alphas would never allow it.  In fact, they’ve
already said they would never allow it.  Any werewolf fool enough to join up
with Vaclav would be out on his own.”

“…like you?”

“Fuck you, bitch.”

“Just asking.”

“I never worked with Vaclav,” he said with a look that
would have knocked me over dead if I cared, which I didn't, “I just don’t like
people telling me what to do.”

I raised up my hands in supplication, “You don’t have to
explain it to me.  Like I said, we have a lot in common.  Thanks for the chat.”

He jerked his chin at me, which I think was his way of
saying “no problem”.

“I’ll be back soon with lots of stories,” I said, “of
killing vampires and… killing vampires.”

“See you soon, sugar.”

He got up and gave me a little air kiss.

I hung up the phone and Killian and I walked over to the
door to be let out.

“So at least we now know that our enemy is the enemy of our
enemy…” I mused.

“Are you really coming back to tell him about your vampire
killing exploits?” Killian asked.

“Are you kidding me?” I replied as the door buzzed and I
opened it.  “That fucker is nuts.”

Chapter 20

“Thanks for doing a ride-along today," I said.

“Finding a dead man on the floor of your office and
speaking face-to-face with a werewolf will provide interesting dinner
conversation at tonight’s royal banquet,” replied Killian.

“Glad to be of service,” I said as I pulled out of the
prison.  “Listen, Mindy’s hosting dinner tonight.  Hopefully Dad got my text...
or one of my many messages... and is already home.  Mind if we swing by to pick
them up before I drop you off at the Elfin Woods?”

“Do I have a choice?” asked Killian.

“Nope.”

Killian smiled, “Your mother is quite delightful.  I do not
understand the friction between you two.”

“I can’t get away with ANYTHING around that woman.”

Killian stroked my knee softly, “Perhaps we should test her
seeing abilities.”

“Get your hand off my leg, elf.”

He laughed.

We pulled up in front of my parents’ house and got out.  My
mom ran her psychic eye shop out of the front room.  The neon palmist sign was
turned off for the night.  Killian opened the fence gate for me and we wandered
up the path through the teeny garden filled with foxglove and wolfsbane.

“What if your father is still in Ghost Town?  Do you think he
will be safe there overnight?” asked Killian.

“He better be.  I’d drive out, but there’s no way I'd find
him in the dark,” I shook my head.  I hated when he took off like this without
checking in, but he was a big boy, “He said he was all right.  If he isn’t,
I’ll track him down and kill him.”

“Fair enough.”

I opened up the door and hollered, “Hello!”

Mom called back from the back room, “Hello, dear!  Lovely
to see you again, Killian.  When are you going to make an honest woman out of
my daughter?”

Killian looked at me puzzled, “I find Maggie to be a very
honest woman, Mrs. MacKay.”

THIS is why I don’t bring menfolk home to meet my family.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” I muttered to him,
"Did Dad get home yet?"

Mom came out.  She was wearing her good muumuu.  The lime
green one with the big hibiscus flowers on it.  I guess that’s what engraved
invitations get you.

Her hands, unfortunately, were full with a tea service.  I
knew what was coming and debated just telling her I was going to go start the
car.  She came over and gave me a great big kiss on the cheek and put the tray
down.

“Come on, we’re going to be late to Mindy's,” I said,
hoping to talk my way out of one of her readings.

“We have to do this first, dear.”

She poured cups for Killian and me and practically force
fed us the Darjeeling.

“Listen, is this because I lost Dad?” I started, “Because
he’s okay.”

She held up her hand, “Not another word!  I told your
father he needed to retire the moment you pulled him out of that dimensional
rift and it serves him right for not listening to me.”

“He called, though.  He’s out in Ghost Town and I texted
him he should come home...”

“I know, dear.”

“Well, so we were hired for a job, but the guy…”

“When she says ‘guy’, she doesn’t mean romantically,
Killian,” she assured, patting his leg.  I wondered what would happen if I just
created a portal in the middle of her living room and left.  She turned back
towards me, stirring her tea, “White haired.  Older gentleman.  Yes, I’m
sensing a vibration…”

“Yes.  Well.  He died.  Before he went, he said Dad was
okay, but wanted me to find a necklace and bring it and this comb… it’s a long
story.  Anyways, everything is fine.  If Dad isn't on his way back already,
I'll head out to Ghost Town first thing tomorrow to pick him up.”

“Oh, what fun!  I love Ghost Town.  Let me get my things.”

“Um… we’re going to Mindy’s…”

She drained her tea and turned her cup over in the saucer. 
She motioned to Killian and me to do the same, which we did.  I’ve learned over
the years it’s best not to fight these things.  We lifted up our cups and she
stared at the mess.

“No, we’re not.  We should get in the car.”

She walked over to the hall closet and pulled out her
Jackie O sunglasses and a big floppy hat.

“But Mindy is waiting for us...”

She smiled patiently, “Now, I see two paths before us.  We
can either fight for twenty minutes until you see it my way or you can just get
in the car.  Both paths lead to the same outcome, so I recommend we skip the
yelling.”

I put down my teacup, pulled the keys out of my pocket, and
headed towards the door.  I waved Killian to follow.  This was so not my idea
of how this evening was supposed to unfold.

“If time is of the essence, I can walk home from here,”
offered Killian.

Mom patted his cheek, “Oh dear me no, you need to come with
us.”

Killian pointed in the direction of the elfin wood, “But
there is a banquet…”

I shook my head, “You can’t fight it.  She’s always right. 
Even when she’s not right, she is always right.”

“Oh, and dear, you’ll want to get that,” she said over her
shoulder to me.

And that was when my phone rang.  My mom waggled her finger
at me to pick it up and be quick about it.

It was my sister’s number.

“Mindy?”

“Um… Maggie?”

Her voice sounded… I don’t know.  Thin.  She sounded scared
and a little unsure.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Um… could you come pick me up?”

“Sure,” I said, looking over at Killian.  “We’re on our way
over right now.  Where are you at?”

“I am in front of a sign that says ‘Ghost Town’.  And it is
really hot, but it looks like a storm is coming.  The road doesn’t look like
it’s been used in years.  There is no one anywhere.”

“Wait.  Mindy?  I don’t know… Where is there a ghost town
near Pasadena?”

“Unless Earth has grown another sun, I’m pretty sure that
I’m on the Other Side.”

“Fuck.”

I turned to Mom and put my hand over the receiver, “DID YOU
KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?”

She sighed, “I told you to just get in the car, but do you
listen to me?  No.  You never listen to me.  And instead, you had to make it
seem like I was being unreasonable.  Am I ever unreasonable?  Am I ever without
my reasons?  No.”

My head was about to explode, so I just turned back to the
phone, “I’m on my way, Mindy.  We’re getting in the car right now and are on
our way to you.  Find someplace to hide.  We’re on our way…”

I was babbling at this point and Mom took the phone out of
my hand, “Mindy, just tell the ghosts you’re a MacKay, and you’ll be fine. 
We’ll see you in a few.”

And then she flipped the phone closed and held it out for
me.

Mom slipped her arm around my shoulders and gave me a
bracing half hug, “It will be okay, Maggie.  Everything works out alright in
the end.”

I looked at her and she smiled reassuringly. 

And that was the reason I really liked having a psychic for
a mom.

Chapter 21

With my foot on the pedal like a brick made of lead, we
drove south from Mom's house towards the desert.  I'd say like a bat out of
hell, except there were hellbats all over the Other Side and they don't drive
fast at all.  It's hard to hit the gas with a stumpy cloven foot and short legs. 
Killian was in the backseat and Mom was riding shotgun.  I hoped we got to
Ghost Town before night fell, but I knew there wasn't a chance we could make it
back before the moon rose and the nasties came out to play.

As far as the eye can see was a sea of red sand and
boulders.  There were tumbleweeds that will eat you and cactus plants that will
pull themselves out of the ground to give you a hug.

Needless to say, I hate the Other Side desert.

I cranked up the A/C, “So, how do we move around Ghost Town
without pissing anyone off?”

“You ask nicely,” replied my mom, wrapping herself up in
her muumuu.  “Brrr… it is so cold.  Aren’t you cold, Killian?”

I shot him back a look, daring him to say anything.

Mom rolled down the window to let in some of the dry heat. 
I reach over and pressed the “up” button, “No!  You do not get to roll down the
windows in the desert!  Window privileges revoked!”

I slammed the window lock for emphasis.

“Really, Maggie, we’re in the middle of nowhere.  What
could possibly happen?”

A goblin threw himself against the glass.

“THAT!” I said, pointing.  “THAT is what happens.”

My mom started making little cooing noises and scratching
at the goblin’s little face as he tried to chew his way through the window.

“Do not encourage him, Mom!”

“Why, he’s just the cutest little thing.  Do you think he’d
clean my house like Mindy’s?”

“He’s a goblin, Mom.  Not a brownie.”

She recoiled and made a stinky face, “Oh.  They look so much
alike.”

“They look nothing alike.”