Maggie Get Your Gun (9 page)

“The feeling is mutual.”

I tried to soothe myself with the notion that as soon as we
nabbed the hair doodad, we could get the hell out.  I reached out with my
senses to get a lock on the comb, but I couldn’t feel it.  I hoped to god that
it was just all this silver masking its whereabouts and not that we had been A)
beaten to it or B) lied to.

Other than a couple spots that had seen some fantastic
little cave-ins, the passageway was tall enough for us to walk down, minding
our feet didn’t trip over the ore cart tracks.  Last thing either of us needed when
crawling through an abandoned mine that we weren't supposed to be in was a
sprained ankle.

It’s hard to tell the passage of time when your whole world
exists about twenty feet in front of you and you've forgotten your watch.  It
seemed like we were walking forever.

“Listen, I always look at the clock on my cell phone,” I explained. 
“I just didn’t think to remember that 4G coverage probably didn’t extend down
into the bowels of the earth.  What’s your excuse?”

“My sundial does not work underground.”

That’s when my little magical radar pinged.

“I got a lock on it, Killian.”

The call felt like it was coming from the “left” and “below
us”, so I turned us at the next intersection.

I stopped Killian, “Did you hear something?”

He got really tense, “Like what?”

“Just sounded like a rock…” I reached out my tracker senses
and didn’t feel anything.  “Probably just gravity collapsing the place on our
heads.  Come on.”

The path dead ended into a drop.  And I could feel the comb
was absolutely in a you’re- going-to-have-to-climb-down-this-shit direction.

“Crap,” I said as I pulled a rope and some wires out of my
bag, “Looks like I’ve gotta go below decks.”

Killian placed his hand on my shoulder, “Maggie, I cannot
allow you to proceed alone.”

I looked up at him and grinned.  He actually looked
worried.  The goofball really did care.

“Listen, I’ll be fine," I said, handing him my pack,
"Watch my shit and make sure I can get back up.  It’d suck pretty bad to
get stuck inside a hill for eternity because of one lousy job neither of us
wanted.”

“How important is this object?” Killian asked.

I set the line and stepped into my harness, “Important
enough to strap a rope around my waist and lower myself into a hole.”

He looked like he might want to hug me for good luck, so
before he went turning this mission into some awkwardly mushy moment, I jumped
over the edge.

I rappelled down the side, trying to keep things going at a
controlled rate.  My feet finally touched the ground.

“I hit bottom!” I called up.

Distantly, I heard Killian reply, “I shall await your
return!”

So, my sister Mindy and I used to play this game.  She would
hide Mom's tarot cards and I’d sniff them out like a bloodhound.  You know,
with less floppy ears and drool.  My sister might fight you on the drool.

Technically, this should have been just like that game,
except that the area of play was considerably larger and the whole place was
enshrouded by silver, which caused all sorts of weird echoes.  It didn’t mask
the magic all together.  I could feel the comb was somewhere, but it created
these weird pings every time I sent out my bat radar.

I pulled out my wooden stake, figuring I needed something
to ground myself with.  The sterling one my sister got engraved for me at
Things Remembered would definitely have been overkill.  It was a little like
dowsing for water, except I was the old dude walking around with a piece of
wood pointed at the ground.

It worked, though, because what seemed like only twelve
years later, I reached the glory hole.  The cavern was so big, my weenie little
light barely pierced the darkness.  I listened for any sound of monsters creeping
around, but didn’t hear anything.

Which is unfortunate, because someone happened to be home. 
The second I popped into the hole, it came flying at my head, trying to knock
out my light.  I lifted my arm to block the blur of motion headed towards me.

It was a vampire.

It’s always fucking vampires.

He tried to hold my arm to bite it, but I swept his leg and
he dropped like a sack of potatoes.  He didn’t give me any time to gloat
because he was up on his feet again.  He stepped outside the perimeter of my light.

“Marco…” I called.

“Polo!” he cried as he tried to jump at me from behind.

I flipped him over my head and raised my stake to nail him,
but he was gone.

“Marco…” I called.

“Polo!” he screamed as he came at me again.  He tried to
pin my arms at my side and I could feel his fangs scraping along my neckguard. 
I backed him against the wall and started slamming him into the stone, again
and again and again until he let go.  I turned to stake him, but he had
disappeared.

“Come on, dude.  It’ll just be one little poke and you’ll
go right to sleep,” I explained, getting my silver stake in my other hand.

“Why do you invade our den?” the vampire hissed.

Great.  Mr. Smith had directed us to a vampire den.  I
suddenly understood why the comb had not been retrieved before.  I knew one old
man who was not going to be having a good day once I got out of this.

“Just antique hunting…” I replied, trying to spot him.

The vampire came at me and all I managed to do was stab his
arm.  He roared, but I knew I hadn’t done any damage.

“Are you one of Vaclav’s minions?” he screamed at me.

“Ew.  Dude.  No.  I hate that guy.”

“You lie!” he roared as he came at me again.

I could tell from his voice where he was coming from and I
had my stake braced and ready when he rushed me.  It got him clean through the
sternum.

He looked down at it, as if in shock, “It was supposed… to…
protect me…”

And he slid to the ground.  And wouldn’t you know it, he
was wearing a purdy lil’ quartz comb right in his purdy little hair.  I took
the comb off and cursed as it zapped me.

“OW!  Muther fucker.  You’d think I’d learn,” I said as I
dropped it in my pocket.

I leaned my elbows on my knees and looked at the vampire. 
He looked angrier than a cat who fell in a bathtub.

“Listen, it only protects you against silver.  This stake
is wood.”  I removed the wooden stake and slammed him through the heart with
the silver stake.  “This one’s silver.  Feel the difference?”

He gasped and died.

I wiped both stakes off on my legs and holstered them up
before gingerly taking out the comb.

The translucent stone face was carved almost exactly like
the brass one we had found.  It even had the same scarabs etched into the
surface.  It looked like something a Spanish señorita might wear in her hair,
draped with a lace cloth.  It was certainly lovely, if you overlooked the fact a
bunch of monsters were hoping to make it next season's fashion trend.

I swung the light on my hat around the glory hole looking
for the exit.  The cavern was filled with so much treasure, it looked like
something straight out of a pirate movie.

I was tempted to shove as many goodies in my pocket as I
could carry, but I knew it’d turn into that whole
monkey-with-a-banana-in-a-cookie-jar-who-dies-because-he-didn't-let-go-before-the-monsters-showed-up
thing.  The vampires were gonna be pissed someone had found their secret
hideout.  And I didn’t want to be around for them to figure out it was me.

I took off in a sprint, totally creeped out that my entire
life depended upon one little light bulb attached to a helmet.  Without it, I'd
be lost, but with it, I was practically ringing the vampire dinner bell that
lunch was served.  I reached the end of the tunnel and the cliff face leading
to Killian.  I tugged on the rope.

“Is this elevator going up?” I called.

“Are you safe?” asked Killian.

“Safe, but I would prefer if I could take the express to
the top.”

I attached the rope to my waist and started the climb. 
Fortunately, the miners hadn’t seen a reason to polish the walls to a high
gloss shine, so it wasn’t too tough going.  And it felt like Killian was gonna
haul me all the way up if I gave him half a chance.

Finally, I reached the lip of the upper path and Killian’s
hand was there to catch me.  I bent over at the waist and rested my hands on my
thighs.

“Fuck, I am out of shape,” I said, wiping the sweat from my
brow.

“Did you find the object?” asked Killian.

I pulled the comb out of my pocket and held it up for him. 
Killian shone the light upon it and nodded, “That is a comb.”

“It is zapping me good, so I know we got the right one.”  I
grabbed my bag and hooked my head towards the direction of out, “We need to
go.”

“Any trouble?”

“Yep,” I replied.

We both broke into a trot.

“What happened?”

“Vampires.”

“How many?”

“Just one.”

“That is not unmanageable.”

“There are more.”

“That is problematic.”

We broke into a run.

"Oh, and this comb doesn't seem to need life force,
because it worked really well for the vampire," I said.

"Such an object would make a vampire fairly
powerful," remarked Killian.

"Yep."

"His clan would most likely be extremely interested in
regaining it."

"Yep."

We doubled our pace.

The sky was totally dark by the time we got out.

“How long were we down there?!?” I groaned.

“Let us continue this conversation while we travel,
Maggie,” Killian urged.

The moon was really bright and the sky was clear.  I guess
it was nice that we’d at least get to see what was attacking us.  I flipped off
my headlight as we walked.  Killian did the same.

“This was fun,” I said.  “We should come hiking here
again.”

I cut off my words midsentence.  A shadow was moving.  I
took Killian’s hand and dragged him behind a rock.  Killian looked at me with
concern.  I pointed at the hills.  The shadow moved again, but this time it was
a little closer.  Killian became as still as a cat, watching the vampire as he
picked his way down the hill.

Killian grabbed my wrist.  He didn't need to ask me twice. 
We ran along the gully, then up the slope of the dry riverbed.

We popped out in the far end of historic Calico.  There was
an old school in front of us.  We sprinted to the door and I rattled the
handle.  It was locked.  I froze as another shadow moved on the other side of
the school.  I pushed Killian down behind the white wooden steps, and we
crouched, trying hard not to breathe as footsteps passed by so flipping close. 
I had no idea why the vampires hadn't smelled us yet.  All I could guess was
that the silver ore was dulling their senses, which then made me wonder if
there was such thing as silver perfume because that'd be awesome to walk around
with an invisible cloak of unsniffability.

The first vampire was now in the wash.  The one by the
school house slid down the hill and met him, and then a third guy came in off
the historic Main Street.  They huddled together like an offensive team
figuring out the next play and then broke to march towards the mine.  If we had
been just a few minutes later, we would have been trapped in that hill like
prairie dogs in game of Wack-a-Mole. 

“Interesting,” Killian whispered.  “How many more vampires do
you believe are below?”

“One is too many.  I should not have to worry about
vampires out in the middle of the desert,” I hissed.  “How did the sun not bake
them?”

“The vampires must have been hiding underground in the old
mines since last nightfall.  Are you armed?”

“Does a cow have teeth?  Of course I’m armed.”

I pulled out my silver stake and my wood stake.  I was
armed.  Just not heavily armed.

“One stake for each of us…” Killian said.

I watched the vampires disappear into the hillside.  A
thought popped into my brain, “I wonder whose side they are on…”

“I believe ‘not ours’,” said Killian.

“The vampire I killed in the mine had a grudge against
Vaclav.  Makes me wonder if they are locals or intruders…”

“Hopefully, these are intruders and the other vampires living
in the tunnels will keep them occupied.”

We needed to get to the car.  Or find a threshold where we
could hide out until morning.  We couldn’t risk going door-to-door along the main
street.  There was nothing but museums and shops, which the park rangers would
have locked for the night.  I looked up.

When the miners came to Calico, they actually built
apartments into the hills.  They were little more than some rocks and boards
beneath some outcroppings.  Crude, sure, but serviceable.  They had doors and
iron barred windows and did I mention doors?