Magnificent Folly (17 page)

A smile touched Lily’s lips. “Mrs. Muggins?”

“Actually, I gave him Muggins for his own good. Andrew doesn’t take proper care of himself.” Mariana’s smile faded. “And it’s essential that he be in good physical condition for his work. I’m always afraid when he starts a therapy.”

Fear surged through Lily. “There’s danger?”

Mariana’s lips twisted. “No more danger than
wrestling with a homicidal maniac with no weapon to defend himself.”

“What could happen to him?”

“You name it. The strain he undergoes is gigantic. Brain damage, coma, heart failure. Even the gentlest people have ferocious reactions when he’s trying to undo a mental snarl. We seem to protect and nurture even the aberrations that are destroying us.”

“Then why does he do it?”

“Because he cares.” Mariana shook her head. “Because no one else can do it. Because he’s Andrew.”

“That’s no reason to let him risk himself,” Lily said fiercely. “Why don’t you stop him? Why don’t you tell him he’s too valuable to be destroyed?”

“Why don’t you? We’ve all tried, and gotten nowhere. Haven’t you noticed? Andrew has a king-size sense of responsibility.”

“Toward the entire human race? For Pete’s sake, it’s crazy to let him …” Lily trailed off as the tears rose to her eyes. She felt almost sick with
fear and helplessness as she remembered how strained and ill Andrew had looked after he had finished helping Cassie. “There has to be some way to keep him safe.”

“There is.” Mariana met her gaze. “Stop thinking of your own problems and give him a reason for coming back when he goes under. You can’t stop him from doing what he thinks is right, but you can hedge his gamble.” She paused. “Don’t you realize Andrew could straighten out your thinking any time he wanted if he treated you as he does a patient? But he won’t go under and do that. He’ll just wait and go through hell until you manage to see things clearly, because he respects your individual rights.” She repeated softly, “And because he’s Andrew.”

Mrs. Muggins glided into the room and set a goblet of fresh-squeezed orange juice and a plate of toast on the table before Mariana. “There you are, Miss Mariana. Now, you eat a fine breakfast, so you can go back to work and make me lots of kinfolk.”

Mariana stiffened with surprise. “Muggins, what—”

But Muggins had turned and rolled from the room.

“What’s wrong?” Lily asked.

Mariana was gazing bemusedly at the doorway through which Muggins had vanished. “Nothing, probably. I just don’t remember programming her with a desire for others of her kind.” She shook her head as if to clear it. “But I must have done it. Right?” She picked up a triangle of toast and bit into it. “Now, where was I?”

Lily’s eyes were twinkling. “Doing the bulldozing you said Andrew was too honorable to do.”

“Oh, yes. Well, I’ve said enough to give you food for thought. I’ve never believed in overkill.” She picked up her orange juice and sipped it. “Now tell me all about Cassie. I’ve never had a niece before.”

Lily chuckled. “You march in here, accuse me of lollygagging, scare me half to death, and then rush on to something else. I’m beginning to
believe there’s a lot of you in Mrs. Muggins’s programming.”

“Maybe.” Mariana grinned. “I tried to make her as near human as possible, and no one can say I’m not riddled with human idiosyncracies.” She gazed down into the orange juice in her goblet before asking, with a touch of belligerence, “Do you like me?”

“Yes.” Lily found she liked Andrew’s sister very much indeed. She sensed something very appealing and vulnerable beneath the girl’s dynamic, eccentric surface. “I do like you.”

Relief flickered on Mariana’s face before she lowered her lids to hide it. “That’s good,” she said offhandedly. “Not everybody does. Sometimes I’m pretty hard to swallow.”

Lily nodded. “Like a shot of straight vodka.”

Mariana nodded. “You’re honest. That’s super. I hate hypocrites.” She took another swallow of orange juice, set it down, and rose abruptly to her feet. “I have to go.”

Lily was startled. “Right now?”

“I have to get back to the laboratory to work on Mr. Muggins, since we’re through talking.” She frowned uncertainly. “Aren’t we?”

She looked so like an anxious little girl that Lily smothered a smile. “I believe you’ve covered the major points.”

Mariana moved toward the door. “I thought I had. You just do what I’ve said, and everything will work out.” She left the room with neither a backward glance nor a farewell.

The dining room seemed darker, as if a light had gone out.

Mrs. Muggins rolled into the room and began to clear Mariana’s place, clucking reprovingly. “The lass didn’t even eat her toast. How can she expect to go on working the way she does, when she never eats? Oh, well, Miss Mariana always knows best.” She whirled and glided toward the door. “Still, perhaps something should be done.…”

Lily shook her head in amusement as she placed her napkin on the table and stood up. Mariana
might be in for a shock in the near future. Mrs. Muggins’s programming seemed to be going awry, and off onto its own tangents.

Lily’s smile vanished as she moved toward the door. She had a sudden desire to see Andrew, to touch him, to assure herself that he was well and safe. What Mariana had told her had frightened her badly. Andrew had been right when he had said that the night before had been a giant step forward in their relationship, but there was still a long way to go. She wasn’t even sure she could maintain a permanent relationship, and she knew Andrew would accept nothing else.

Give him something to come back for, Mariana had said.

But that meant a commitment Lily wasn’t ready to make.

Still, there was no hurry, she thought with relief. Andrew would be patient, and had told her he wasn’t involved in any therapy at present. They would have time to work out their problems and come to a decision.

Yes, there was still plenty of time.

•  •  •

“The stars look closer here in Sedikhan.” Lily leaned back in the lawn chair, her gaze fixed dreamily on the glitter-sequined sky. “Why do you suppose that is?”

Andrew was sitting on a pillow on the flagstones of the terrace, beside her chair, and glanced up with a smile. “I could give you technical reasons, but I don’t think you want them right now, do you?” He leaned his head comfortably against her knee. “You’re more in the mood for fantasy.”

“Nonsense. I’m a complete realist.”

Yet she knew he was right. She was far too content sitting there with the gentle breeze touching her cheeks, teasing her with the scent of the flowering jasmine while she listened to the rippling sound of the fountain across the courtyard and to Cassie playing softly in the music room beyond the open French doors.

“I wonder on which star a rose could grow.
Have you ever read
The Little Prince
?” Andrew asked.

“Yes, but I don’t want to think of it right now. It’s too sad.”

“Only if you look at it from the viewpoint of a realist like one Lily Deslin.”

“It’s a sand-castle story.”

“Yes.” Andrew reached up and took her hand, threading his fingers through her own. “It makes me sad that you don’t believe in sand castles.”

“Sad? Why?”

“Because there’s so much in life that you can’t reach out and touch, so many things you lose if you don’t keep them alive inside yourself.” His lips brushed her palm. “I don’t want you ever to lose anything. I want you to taste everything and know everything and feel everything. I want life to be so damned good to you that you’ll wake up singing every morning.”

Tenderness welled up in her, preventing her from speaking for a moment. “You’d soon regret it if I did. I can’t carry a tune.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes.” She wanted him to wake up singing too. She wanted his every hour to be golden, every wish granted, every foolish sand castle he built to last forever. “These last three days I admit I’ve come pretty close.”

He held his hand to her cheek. “Me too.” He paused. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” she echoed softly. “It takes two.”

“I want you to know what you’ve given me these last few days,” he said quietly. “I used to think about how it would be to have you and Cassie here, but I didn’t realize …” He stopped, and when he spoke again his voice was husky. “It’s so
good.”
He fell silent, and it was several minutes before he continued. “I want you to know that if everything else were swept away I’d still be rich, because I’d have the memory of what we built together these last three days.”

The faintest uneasiness rippled through her. “You’re talking sand castles again. I don’t like it.”

“Sorry.” He kissed her palm once more. “I just wanted you to know. Lie back and look up at the stars, and I’ll tell you all about the constellations. I was fascinated by them as a boy, and memorized practically all the legends.”

“Andrew.” A troubled frown creased her brow as she looked down at him. She wished he’d look up again, so she could see his face. “Is something wrong?”

“What could be wrong?” He didn’t look at her, and his voice was low. “It’s just that I love you, Lily. I always have. I always will.”

He was waiting for her to respond. She
wanted
to respond. For some reason she felt he needed those words of commitment from her that night. Dammit, why wouldn’t the words come?

He was silent for a long moment, and then tilted his head back to gaze at the stars again. “That constellation is Leo, the lion.” Andrew tilted back his head. “One of the stories I’ve read said that he angered Zeus by growling at him and …” The words drifted on as Andrew gave her the story from his childhood.

Gave. Andrew always gave to her, she thought in guilty anguish. He gave and gave.…

But that night he had asked for something in return, and she had failed him. She hadn’t given him the words he needed to hear.

Next time she would do it, she promised herself.

Next time she’d tell him she loved him.

A
S SOON AS
Lily opened her eyes the next morning she realized Andrew was no longer beside her in the bed. His absence didn’t alarm her. In the last few days she had learned he was a much earlier riser than she. He must be in the bathroom, she thought lazily, or out on the balcony. He loved to watch the sun rise over the desert.

Lily reached over and with a caressing hand touched the indentation on the pillow where his head had lain. It was strange how many little things signaled this major upheaval in her life. The sight of the change from Andrew’s pockets on
top of the bureau, the sound of a shower running in the next room, Andrew’s quick footsteps on the stairs or in the hall. Such little, unimportant things to engender such flowering feelings of warmth and security.

The phone rang on the table beside the bed, and she reached over to pick up the receiver. “Hello.”

“Lily.” It was Quenby’s voice. “Listen carefully. I’m sending a car for you. Be out in front of the house in ten minutes.”

Lily sat up in bed. “Why? I’ll have to ask Andrew what plans—” She broke off as the crackling urgency of Quenby’s tone sank in. “What’s wrong?”

“Andrew.”

Blind panic seized Lily. Andrew wasn’t in the bathroom or out on the balcony. Andrew wasn’t in the house at all. Her hand tightened on the receiver. “What’s happened to him?”

“I don’t know.” Quenby drew a shaky breath. “As God is my witness, I don’t know. He’s at the hospital, and it’s not going well. Gunner was
planning on being there this morning before Andrew arrived, but Andrew showed up in the therapy room three hours ago. He knew Gunner would try to stop him, and immediately started treating Kalom.” She paused. “The doctors noticed something wrong almost at once. Andrew went into convul—”

“Save the rest of it,” Lily cut in as she swung her feet to the floor. “I have to get dressed and get downstairs. Will you be at the hospital when I get there?”

“I’m in the waiting room with Mariana.”

“She’s there too?” Lily closed her eyes. Of course Mariana was at the hospital. They always called the next of kin in life-or-death emergencies. Dear God, was Andrew dying? She should have known something would happen to explode the dream. But it shouldn’t have happened to Andrew. Perhaps she didn’t deserve her happiness with him after the mistakes she had made, but Andrew shouldn’t be punished. “I’ll be right there.”

She put down the receiver, jumped out of bed, and ran to the bathroom.

“Is he still alive?” Lily demanded as soon as she strode into the waiting room. “For God’s sake, what happened to him?”

“Kalom,” Quenby said simply. “Gunner thinks Kalom is trying to die and wants to take Andrew with him.”

“I don’t understand. Can that happen?”

Mariana turned away from the window. “They’re joined telepathically. It can happen.”

“But if Andrew’s trying to help him, why would Kalom want to kill him?”

“Who knows? He’s twisted,” Quenby said. “Gunner says his mind’s like a desert where nothing can grow but malice, and the malice is so bitter, he chokes on it. He
wants
to die.”

“Then let him die,” Lily said fiercely.