Making You Mine (50 page)

Sydney was quiet. That’s all she’d had to say and she knew he got it. She’d called him the day after Valerie and Isabel’s announcements too and just like then he reminded her that she and Angel hadn’t even gone to a fertility expert yet. “For all you know it might be a quick fix.”

She had only brought up the possibility of seeking medical help five months after they’d lost the baby and they still weren’t pregnant. Angel didn’t think it necessary but said he would if she really wanted to. She said she’d give it some more time but hadn’t brought it up since. It was almost as if they did it was their first step toward the real possibility of finding out they may never be able to have children. She couldn’t even bear the thought.

As she talked to Sydney she walked all the way around their property. It reminded her of how excited they’d been when they purchased it. They’d lived in a duplex for the first year and a half of their marriage. They were too excited about getting the restaurant up and running to think about buying a house. It was only when they decided they were ready to start a family that they went to Valerie to help them find a home. They fell in love with it the moment they saw it.

The excitement of owning their own home began to fade after the first several months of trying to conceive with no success. Even now neither wanted to admit they were worried. It was as if they said it out loud made it more real.

She was in the back patio now and had been on the phone with Syd for almost a half hour when Angel slid the back door open and stuck his head out. “You almost done? This rice has been ready for a while now. What were you gonna do with it?”

Sarah knew that tone. He wasn’t happy about her being on the phone with Syd this long. It had been a while that she’d even been on the phone with Syd while Angel was home and it’d never been this long. She tended to cut the calls short when Angel was around but today she just needed to let it out.

“Okay and listen going to a doctor about this doesn’t mean you’re admitting anything. All it means is you’re getting a little help. Thousands of couples go through this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’m not ashamed. I’m just scared.”

“Don’t be. You’re both surrounded by people that love you. You’ll have a ton of support and family to hold your hands through this, including me.”

She took a deep breath feeling emotional all over again. “I love you, Sydney.”

She hadn’t said that to him in years. Once they were both married it felt a little weird. They’d replaced it with
I miss you
. But at this moment it felt right. She’d needed the comfort he’d brought to her in just those few words.

“I love you too, Lynni.”

After hanging up she took a few deep breaths to try and wash the emotions away, before making her way back inside.

~*~

It’d been years since he had to even think about Sarah and Syd. And even longer since he’d worried about it. She was his wife now. He owned her body and soul just like she owned him. She assured him of this, and it went both ways. So why the fuck was he getting so worked up? To walk into his kitchen and feel that vibe. A vibe he didn’t like from Sarah and then have her pull away from him because she had to take this call—a call from Syd. Really?

As if that weren’t bad enough she walked out of the house. She’d never done that. Not that she talked to Sydney often these days but if she happened to she did so openly and freely without any reservation about Angel hearing her conversation.

The sliding door opened and Angel leaned against the counter in the kitchen waiting for her to come around the corner. She did but avoided his eyes placing her phone on the counter nearest to her. “What’s going on with Syd?”

Sarah walked up to the stove removing the lid from the pot of rice. Angel reached out for her hand and pulled her to him. “Let’s try this again. What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and said nothing staring at his chest. He lifted her chin and saw her tear filled eyes. Immediately his worries about Syd were gone, replaced by overwhelming concern. “What is it?”

She shook her head again, wiping a tear that escaped down her cheek. Angel wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her even closer, refusing to drop the eye contact. “Look at me, Sarah. You can tell me.”

“I’m ashamed to.”

Angel’s breath caught. He wouldn’t let that statement and the fact that she just had a long conversation with Sydney, one she obviously didn’t want Angel to hear manifest into something ugly. “Don’t be silly. Just tell me.”

She leaned in and rested her head against his chest. “I don’t want you to think I’m not happy for Sofia and Eric. I really am. It’s just that…” She took a deep trembling breath and right then he knew exactly what was wrong.

He’d thought about it when he hung up with her after giving her the news. Maybe he should’ve waited until he got home to tell her. But Sofia had just told him when Sarah called and it was still so fresh on his mind. He stroked her back. “Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I wanted to bring it up but since you hadn’t in months I was afraid to. What do you say if it doesn’t happen this month we go see a doctor?”

She lifted her head away from his chest and stared at him. Her big beautiful green eyes were full of worry. “I’ve done some research, babe,” he said, kissing her forehead. “There’s all kinds of reasons why it might not be happening. It could be something really simple.”

“I’ve been looking it up, too. But I’m just so scared. What if they tell us we can’t
ever
?”

“Sarah, we already know we can.” God he’d never forget how devastated she’d been. He had been too but he hurt more for her than anything. He knew how excited she’d been. Not that he hadn’t been but he decided long ago that he could be happy going through life without kids as long as he had Sarah by his side. But since this was so important to her he’d do whatever it took to make her happy. “It already happened once, baby. It’ll happen again.”

Her eyes went from worried to hopeful. “You think?”

He smiled kissing her. “Yeah, I think.”

She smiled, taking a deep breath and leaned against his chest again. “Okay so if it doesn’t happen this month, I’ll make an appointment.”

“Good.” He kissed the top of her head. “Now you wanna tell me why you had to go outside to talk to Syd?”

She continued to lean against him. “I didn’t want you to hear me tell him I was upset about Sofia’s news.”

Angel clenched his teeth, taking a deep breath. He had to remind himself that Sarah had always been close to Sydney. So close that sharing something this personal with him was normal. He only hoped that now that he was getting divorced it didn’t mean she’d be hearing more from him. Best friend or not, Angel had never truly accepted it, just learned to tolerate it. Sarah had to know this. But he’d let it go for now.

He turned to the pot of white rice on the stove. “So you really making dinner?”

Sarah pulled away glancing at the pot then back at him with a smirk. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

Angel laughed. “I didn’t say that. I’m just saying,” he glanced around at the otherwise empty stove top. “Are we playing survivor or something? Is rice all we’re having?”

She laughed. “No I was going to make some teriyaki chicken.”

Angel crinkled his nose. “What do you say we go grab a pizza and some beer. Well, wine for you. ” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Might not be too long before you can’t have wine anymore .”

Sal explained the final task needed to close out the books for the month. Ever since the third restaurant had been opened up in La Jolla Shores last year, he’d had his hands full, but he was still insisting he could manage all three restaurants. The back office stuff anyway—things he’d gone to school for all those years. But knowing how busy he and Grace were with the new restaurant and now Grace taking time off to be home more with baby Sal; Sarah had finally convinced him she could take over some of the things he normally did at her and Angel’s restaurant. It was a bit more daunting than she’d expected. He always made it look so easy but she was catching on. If only her mind didn’t keep wandering.

She was two weeks late now but refused to make any announcements. The initial home pregnancy test had come back positive and even though she’d allowed herself to jump into Angel’s arms and cried overjoyed; there was still a very small possibility it could be a false positive, or she could lose it again. Her appointment with her doctor was still a few days away. Secretly she knew she was. She was already feeling all the signs from the first time. They would hold off until she was past that twelve week mark. It was a long time to keep it to themselves but she knew this family. They’d make a huge deal out of it which would only make things worse if something went wrong.

Raul, their newest waiter, walked in the back and started putting on his apron. Unlike most of the waiters they hired, since he’d worked at several of the trendy marina restaurants he’d needed the least amount of training and he doubled as a bartender when they got real busy on the weekends. He was a little cocky and outspoken and flirted wildly with the other waitresses, not to mention the customers, but Sarah had to admit he was good.

Sal turned to face him. “So how we doing? You catching on?”

Raul brought his eyebrows together with an expression of sheer confidence. “With my eyes closed.”

Sarah was glad for the distraction because her phone had buzzed a couple of times since Sal started explaining everything to her and she thought it rude to check her texts so she took advantage now that he chatted with Raul.

Both texts were from Sydney. She clicked on it and read the threaded messages.

Sitting at the airport. Flights delayed and I’m bored as hell.

Then:

How are you feeling?

He’d was the only other person that knew about her positive pregnancy test. She tried to keep it from him but the last time they talked he knew something was up when she stumbled on her answer about why she still hadn’t made an appointment to see the fertility specialist. He knew her too well so she decided to just tell him, but made him promise to not mention a word to his parents until she gave him the go ahead.

She was about to text back when Sal stood up. She looked up at him. “Are we done?”

“Yep, that’s it. For the monthly stuff. I’ll come back and show you the quarterly stuff next month.”

He kissed her head and she thanked him for his patience. He and Raul walked out together into the dining room and she texted Sydney back.

Tokyo again? So far so good. But my appointment isn’t for another few days.

Sydney worked as a technical engineer for a giant computer software company whose headquarters was based in Tokyo so they flew him out there at least once a month. When he first hired on he’d actually lived out there for a few months.

She went through some of the stuff her and Sal had just done on the computer while she waited for him to respond.

Angel walked into the back; before she could even say anything he leaned in and kissed her deeply. When he finally came up for air she smiled. “Wow. What was that about?”

“Okay, whatever you want.” He kissed her again. “You think you’re up for a ballgame this weekend? Romero and Isabel are stopping by to have lunch and he has extra tickets to the Padres game this Friday. It’s a play off game.”

Angel looked up at her, his eyebrow raised. She knew he’d noticed the increase in texts from Sydney but he had to understand this was a really hard time for Syd. And they were just texts.