Man From Mundania (9 page)

which she knew was necessary, because here things did

not grow on trees. Well, she had the cent—but she cer-

tainly wasn't going to use that for money!

She would have to have help. That meant Grey—if he

would do it. Well, she would just have to ask him.

She stood, adjusting her blouse and skirt. This Mun-

dane clothing wasn't as good as Xanth clothing; it chafed

and wore. But it had to do. She was just lucky that Agenda

had been about her own size!

She went to the door and out and across, and knocked

on Grey's door. In a moment he answered.

"Grey, I need to ask you—" she began.

"Xbju—xfsfjoup hjccfsjti bhbjo!" he exclaimed, turn-

ing away.

Oh. He must have turned off the Pewter device again.

He would have to turn it on again before they could con-

verse.

Even as she realized that, she had a notion. "Wait!"

she said, catching his arm. For there was a point she

wanted to make while Pewter wasn't watching.

He paused. "Xibu?"

She smiled, turning him gently around to face her

squarely. Then she leaned forward and kissed him, not

hard.

She drew back. He stood as if stunned. "Zpv'sf opu

nbe bu nf?" he asked, amazed.

"It's all right. Grey," she said, smiling. Then she in-

dicated Pewter.

Dazedly, he walked to the machine and touched the but-

ton that turned him on. In a moment the screen came to

life.

IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS FOOLISHNESS—the screen

printed.

"Well, you aggravated me," Grey retorted. "But now

I need to talk to Ivy."

OF COURSE.

Grey made as if to return to her room, but Ivy held up

a hand in negation. "It's all right if Pewter listens," she

said. "I'll need to talk to him in a moment anyway."

NATURALLY, the screen said smugly.

She faced Grey. "I believe I am in Mundania," she

said. "I need to return to Xanth. Will you help me?"

"But-"

"But you don't believe in Xanth," she said. "But would

you believe if I showed you Xanth?"

"You see, I think I know how to get there. But I need

help. If you will come with me, and talk to people when

I can't—"

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Man from Mundania

Man from Mundania

41

"Oh, of course," he agreed.

She faced the screen. "Com-Pewter, you knew I was

coming, didn't you?"

YES.

"And you know where I'm from."

YES.

"Will you tell Grey where I'm from?"

YES.

"Uh, you have to tell it," Grey said. "It takes things

literally."

"Tell him," she said.

PRINCESS IVY IS FROM XANTH.

Grey stared. "You say that? But how can a machine

believe in fantasy?"

WHEN IT IS TRUE.

"You see, we could have asked him all along," Ivy

said. "Pewter, why am I here?"

GREY NEEDS YOU MOST.

"But what about Good Magician Humfrey?"

I KNOW NOTHING OF HIM.

So it was the curse! She hadn't been sent to Humfrey,

but to the Mundane most in need of her company. Yet a

mystery remained. "Pewter, why are you here?" she

asked.

TO FACILITATE YOUR ENCOUNTER.

"But you don't care anything about me!" she protested.

IRRELEVANT STATEMENT.

So Pewter wasn't telling. She wasn't surprised. She con-

sidered herself lucky that he had cooperated to this extent.

She turned again to Grey. "If you will help me, I will

show you Xanth," she said.

Grey evidently remained bemused by Pewter's endorse-

ment of her origin. He might not believe, yet, but at least

he was having more trouble disbelieving. That was prog-

ress of a sort. "I'll, uh, help you if I can."

"You will have to guide me to No Name Key."

"To what?"

A KEY SOUTH OF FLORIDA, the screen said helpfully.

"But that's far away from here! How—"

HITCHHIKE.

"But my classes! I can't skip—"

CHOOSE: IVY OR FRESHMAN ENGLISH.

Grey was taken aback. "Well, if you put it that way—"

YOU HAVE VIRTUALLY NO APTITUDE FOR SCHOLARSHIP.

Grey became suspicious. "You act as if you want me

logo!"

YES. THEN MY ASSIGNMENT WILL BE COMPLETED.

Ivy, too, was suspicious. "What is your assignment?"

TO GET GREY MURPHY INTO XANTH.

Grey shook his head. "I don't believe this!"

YOUR BELIEF IS IRRELEVANT. TURN ME OFF WHEN YOU

DEPART.

"This is absolutely crazy!" Grey exclaimed. "My com-

puter wants me to go into a delusion!''

"You understand," Ivy reminded him, "we won't be

able to talk intelligibly to each other until we get to Xanth.

I will have to keep my mouth shut in Mundania."

"But we can't go, just like that! My father—"

"Look at it this way," Ivy said. "If we don't find Xanth,

you can come back here in a few days, and Pewter will

have to help you pass all your classes, so your father

doesn't find out and turn him off forever. But if we do find

Xanth—"

Grey got his wits about him. "Let's say, for the sake of

nonsensical argument, that we find it and you go there—

where does that leave me? Alone again, and far from

home, and in trouble when I get home!"

"You're welcome to come into Xanth with me," Ivy

said. "I thought that was understood. But I assumed you

wouldn't want to."

"I, uh, if you go there, I want to go there too. Even if

it is crazy."

Ivy smiled. "You might like it—even if it is crazy."

Grey shrugged, defeated. "When do we start?"

"Now," Ivy said, delighted.

"Now? But—"

NOW, the screen said.

Grey tried to marshal another protest, but Ivy smiled at

him, and he melted. She had seen Nada stifle Dolph sim-

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Man from Mundania

ilarly; it was nice to know that such magic worked, even

in Mundania.

"Now," Grey agreed weakly.

They delayed only long enough to pack some clothes

and food, because neither grew on trees in drear Mun-

dania. Then they set off.

Hitchhiking turned out to be a special kind of magic: a

person put out one thumb, and it caused the moving ob-

jects called cars to stop. Some of them, anyway. Cars

turned out to be hollow inside, with comfortable seats and

belts to hold the people down in case they bounced out.

Each one had at least one person riding in it, and seemed

to go more or less where that person wanted. But there

were obstacles: glowing lights hung above the car path and

flashed bright red the moment any car approached. Then