Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension (8 page)

''Of course. But, there's no
Chinese restaurants on my way home. I can get us some
mexican.''

''Ah. Always you and mexican.
Fine, whatever.''

Heh heh.
Thank you Martha.

''I'll ask
them to go easy on the chili pepper for ya.''

''Okay. I'm waiting for
you.''

''I'm comin'
baby. Bye bye.''

''Lou?''

''Yeah honey?''

''Was everything okay at
work?''

''Kind of. It was one of those
strange days.''

''What happened?''

''Well, first
we started getting reports of someone, apparently going from
building to building and blasting fireworks from the top. We got
reports of five buildings so far.''

''Some minority's new year,
maybe.''

''I don't know. Then we got a
call from that Greek restaurant, you know, that one that has a lot
of flowers in flower pots outside. You remember that
restaurant?''

''No. Tell me what
happened.''

''Some wacko
trashed all the flower pots and stomped all the flowers. In broad
daylight.
He even ate some flowers. He
was still in action when we arrived. A guy in yellow shirt. He
resisted of course. We cuffed him and took him to the station. He
was shouting the whole time how we have to let him go, because he
has to absorb enough energy to save the world, or the world will
end. He was all drenched in sweat. Probably a junkie on a worst
possible trip.''

''Or, maybe, there's a full moon
tonight and all the creeps have left their dens.''

''Who knows. See you home.''

''See you.''

Chapter twenty

''That wasn't
him, you basehead! That was the guy in 'Patriots'
shirt!''

He's staring
at Lempo and me. I hope he realized how stupid he is.

''I'll turn
off the porn then'', he said: ''Bad timing for
pornography.''

''Jove, you got your pancakes
and your weed'', said Lempo: ''Now let's concentrate on the problem
at hand. We need to bring down the fucker that is levitating above
our heads if we want to go to the next level.''

He turned toward me.

''Cleit,
you're good with physics. What did Abraxas say? He mentioned that
medusas are affected by radio waves, photon radiation…''

''Abraxas
talks shit, he knows nothing about physics.
Just because someone is delivering his lines with
conviction, doesn't mean he deserves the sense of awe. Aren't they
exposed to sun light? Doesn't your cell phone have a signal? Use
your brain, bring your own conclusions, man.''

Under the impression of
everything that happened earlier, I've forsaken logic. I can't
believe I walked around the park looking for a magic flower.
Tulip.

''What do we do then?''

''You really want to do
this?''

''More than anything'', said
Lempo.

''If you're
going, I'm going'', said Jove: ''I want to see what's out
there.''

Flush. That retard with the
sword came out of the bathroom. He didn't wash his hands.

''Is the movie over?''

''It's over.
How would you like to go the next dimension, Laszlo?''

''Like, now?''

I opened
Jove's closet to see does he have any fireworks left from the
fourth of july. Yes, he does.

And: '' Yes, now.''

''Okay'', said Laszlo: ''I'm
ready to go.''

''I will do
my best to get you all there, but you have to promise me something.
When we, if we get there, we are not going to react impulsively, we
are going to bring decisions as a team, and we aren't going to hunt
no energy, we are going there to explore.''

They agreed. Good.

''But how are you going to…'',
Lempo started his yapping.

''All famous
world's physicists got their results in one same way. By
experimenting. By acting like children.''

I took Jove's
fireworks and we took elevator to the roof. There it is. The giant
thing. Levitating above us. We're right under it. We fixed bunch of
fireworks to blast it right at the jellyfish.

''Light every fuse at the same
time.''

So they did.

''Let's take cover.''

Result? It
exploded inside of her, and she went down, and fell in the street.
We went to the edge and stared down. Cars kept driving through her,
like there's nothing there.

''Did it work?'', asked
Lempo.

I looked around. One, two, three
of us on the roof.

''Where's Laszlo?''

''He's gone.''

''Then, I'd say it worked.''

Jove grabbed
me by my shoulders and started jumping enthusiastically.

''It worked,
motherfucker, it worked! You launched him into the next
dimension!''

Lempo's confused.

''But, why did it take him in,
and not us? I don't understand.''

''Only thing
I know is that this has nothing to do with laws of physic, or any
other laws of nature. It operates on some logic of its own. Pick up
the remaining fireworks and let's blast another
jellyfish.''

Before we
could go to the next closest building that has its jellyfish, Jove
had to go back to his apartment to pack for the trip. He put on his
hockey west, hockey mask and took his hockey stick with
him.

''We're not
going to hockey, you know.''

''Fuck that shit, we don't know
what's comin' next. I ain't goin' unprepared.''

Lempo started
pussying: ''He's right, we need to prepare for this, we
should…''

''I'm going now and you do
whatever you want.''

I took the
fireworks and went to the next apartment house, I rang the
interphone posing as a postman, and they let us in. We went to the
roof and blasted their jellyfish. The other side took Lempo in
return. Only Jove and I are left now. We went to the next building
and got on the rooftop.

''Okay, after this one, we're
out of fireworks, the one that stays will have to go buy more. You
have enough dough?''

''Yes.''

''You nervous, man?''

''I'm fuckin' shakin'.''

Yeah, me too. We lighted the
fuses. I shaked Jove's hand.

''Good luck, man.''

I closed my
eyes. When I opened them, I was still on the rooftop. Alone. Shit.
Now I have to go buy fireworks. I forgot to ask Jove where does he
buy his. The closest place I know is back at the Pine Cone Center.
I took the subway again. It's so unreal. All of this. I can't think
about it anymore, my head pulsates in pain. This day lasts too
long. And it ain't over yet. Sweet Jesus, what did I do? I've sent
my best friends into the fuckin' jurassic. You need to calm down
man, your cool is the only thing that's still preventing this from
turning into a full fuckin' nightmare.

I took a
shortcut to the firework store, walk through the park. I passed
next that magic tulip. And there, I heard someone's sobbing. Behind
the flower, with her back pressed on the flower's stalk, was a
cowered girl, her hands around her knees, crying. It was that small
blond girl from the convention.

''Don't tell me that you've been
here all this time.''

She quickly
wiped the tears off her face with her sleeves.

''I wasn't. I just came here to
cry.''

''Why?''

''And why
not? I'm about to fail… Once more. I'm in a pretty bad situation
and I have no one to help me through it. I don't know what I'm
doing.''

She got up.

''Where are
your friends, the tall guy that can't stop laughing, and the Asian
guy?''

Funny. She showed me this way
that she knows something about me.

''They're on the next
level.''

Her eyebrows pulled together. My
answer confused her.

''How?!''

''I've found a way.''

''Can I come with you? I won't
be a burden, I promise.''

You saved me Mario!

''Sure.''

''I'm Emily.''

I shaked her tiny hand, wet from
tears and sweat.

''I'm Cleitus. Follow me.''

C
hapter twenty one

I've been
sitting here for three hours already
, I
had a coffee, a mint tea and now I'm on my second mineral water.
Hubert had one coffee and started hitting 'Jack' after that. His
eyes are red. I think he's angry 'cause he didn't confront Abraxas
while he was available for confrontation. Hubert understood this…
revelation, if I might call it that way, as a personal insult.
He…

''Hey guys, can I sit
down?''

Out of nowhere, one of blokes
from the convention appeared. 'Patriots' fan.

''Be our guest.''

He reeks of
sweat, his face is ruddy, burnt by sun.

''Hoo, hot
day, I'm dehydwated, could I take a dwink of that minewal
watew?''

''Help yourself.''

''Thanks.
Good watew. I've
seawched the entiwe pawk and I found nothin', no mowe giant
flowews. I'm going to take a showt west and then I'm going to the
old wailwoad pawk.''

''You'd be
better off, if you'd just go home'', said Hubert: ''You're being
toyed with.''

''Why awe you
so
negative about this? Isn't this what
ewewyone wants? To be chosen to be a pawt of something big? Alice,
giwlfwiend of that guy Alden that got his awm twisted, she says
that Abwaxas is a satanist, and that he's using powews that Satan
gwanted him, so he would mesmewize us into doing his will. He
opened the doows fow us of fouwth dimension and fuwthew, and she
calls him a satanist.''

''All
satanists, especially those that aren't satanists for fad's sake'',
spoke Hubert through the mist of alcohol: ''Those that really
worship the… goat's head, are in fact, nothing more then lapsed
catholics.''

I've heard
Hubert telling this story about satanists being lapsed catholics so
many times. That was his graduation thesis – 'Why satanists are
nothing more then lapsed catholics by Hubert Ploome'.

''Object of
their worship, Satan, is a purely Judeo - Christian invention.
Early church defined Satan in order to try to explain the problem
of evil and created something that some later found worthy of
worship. It's the ultimate absurd, they might hate Jesus, but what
they are worshiping is created by Christians. It makes furher sense
when you know, that most of them satanists, one way or another,
have catholic or some other protestant ex-catholic background.
Evidence of correctness of my thoughts: non-christian societies
don't have Satan worshipers.''

''All
satanists awe catholic, huh?''

''You can sign that with
blood.''

He punched Hubert in the face,
called him 'bastawd' and walked away. I helped Hubert up.

''This went well, his reaction
was milder than the reactions of my dissertation committee.''

He started
laughing. Hubert is, I say it without any doubt, the smartest
person I know, he holds in his head more than any profesor from our
college, but sometimes, he's too smart for his own good.

''There's
gonna be a bruise under your eye. You are aware that every time you
share this theory of yours, not only you insult small and
insignificant society of satanists, but you also insult entire
catholic world?''

''And don't forget God!''

''God… yes.
Maybe God is on the 365-th level of existence. Maybe, Basilides was
right.''

''Nonsense!''

''I mean,
just try to think about it for a minute. It could explain a lot of
things. Disappearance of dinosaurs, for instance. Maybe, at some
point, they just continued their existence in some other dimension.
UFO-s. Accidental, or intentional transit from other
dimensions.''

''Wonderful!
And my dissertation was unacceptable. You actually believe what
you're saying?''

''No. I don't
know. Well, there's a fuckin' giant flying medusa right there! And
there! And everywhere! Can you explain that?!''