Manipulation (Shadows) (3 page)

“Fine. Tell him I told you to take him out on a dare because I want you to lose so you’ll have to wear normal shoes.” I poke her ribs with my elbow.
Go talk to him.
I wonder if a poke is enough to make her do it.

She bites her lip. Definitely considering. I read people well. Always have.

Jesse’s across the street and about to turn the corner. “Just coffee. Do it.”

“Will you really make me change out of my boots if I don’t?”

“Actually, yes. I really will.” I narrow my eyes. We both know I’m joking. I touch her again, on the shoulder this time.
Go, Katy.

My thought hits her. “Shit.” She drops my arm and runs across the street. “Jesse!”

Okay, I feel a little bad for “forcing” her to go but in my experience, people won’t do something that they really don’t want to do. It’s just that people don’t pay attention to much of anything, so when I can put a thought in their head—they generally follow it. Especially when it’s something they might want.

I laugh at Katy bouncing her way across the street in her boots and open the door of my building. No doorman here. I wonder where Addison Princess lives? Well, me thinking about Addison,
Bunny
, makes me an official loser. I jog up the narrow stairway to the third floor just hoping to get through my stupid sentence as fast as possible.

THREE

Addison

“Chase.” I exhale as I answer my phone. “There you are.”
Why did it take you two days to call me? And why can’t we live closer so I can touch you and make you answer these things?

“What’s up?” His voice is normal, relaxed.

“Didn’t you get my messages?” I left him three messages. How does he not check after the second?

“You know I don’t check messages, babe. I just call you back. And here I am, calling you back.” He sounds so pleased, like he should get some sort of prize or something just for doing the decent thing.

“I got arrested.” Now I’ll get the reaction I’m looking for.

“What?” Okay, his voice is way too calm.

“Well, come on. I’ve been sneaking onto the train forever.” Now I want to downplay, maybe that’ll make him worry more.

“Are you trying to tell me it wasn’t worth it?” His voice sounds hurt.

“No, no, of course it was worth it.” I can’t have him think I don’t want to be with him. It’s so awkward with how picky his parents are, and our age difference. I’m pretty sure mine would be okay with it, well, if they didn’t know we were having sex, but I’m sure his wouldn’t be. Wait. How is he not more worried about me getting arrested? And how is this suddenly about him?

“Well, I’m going to be really busy for the next little bit anyway. Caitlyn’s family’s in town, but I’ll make time for you next time I’m in the city.”

I hate Caitlyn. She thinks she has some kind of hold over Chase just because their families are close, which is pathetic, because he and I have been together for two years.

And that’s it from him? It sucks feeling like second to, well, everything. The thing is, when we’re together, I come first. This is why I know that if we just lived closer, all this weirdness between us would go away, and maybe the random whispers I hear about Caitlyn would also disappear.

And
make time
? I hate it when he talks like that. Like I’m this burden, an extra responsibility. It makes me worry that he’ll get sick of me. “Oh you know…if it works out…” I strain to keep my voice light.

“Oh, right. I forget I’m talking to the great Addison Princess.” He’s teasing. That’s good. We’re okay.

“So, I’ll be seeing you soon then?” Crap. Did that make me sound desperate?

“You know I can’t resist that body of yours.” His voice lowered a notch.

Now I’m grinning like an idiot. “Okay. Soon.” Annoyance forgotten.

“Not soon enough...” His end clicks.

“Addi -
son
!” Deborah’s voice sing-rings down the hallway. “I’ve come to your shack in the sky to see the delinquent!” Her voice is still half singing.

“Very funny!” I yell through my door.

“Hey girlie girl.” Her head pokes in my room. Deborah’s hair is the blond version of mine. Long, straight, smooth with bangs. But my hair hangs nearly to my waist. She’s attempting it, but hers still stops around her shoulder blades. I don’t think it’s going to get any longer, not without extensions.

“Hey, come on in.” I smile as she steps into my room.

“So, are you jealous?” She sticks out a foot to reveal the most delicious pair of Chanel boots. Tall, black so soft they look pettable
,
and heels that take practice for normal walking.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I fold my arms. Her parents’ apartment might not be as nice as ours, and they might not have as many cars, but she and her mom dress. “You are the most spoiled…”

“Look around you, Addison. You have your own walk-in closet and bathroom. How many people in New York can say that?”

“You.”

“My closet is not a walk-in, and I share the bathroom with my brothers.” She makes a face.

“Right. So that means I should feel better about you having the most gorgeous boots ever?” I pull my feet onto the couch.

“Nope.” Her smile turns wicked. “You can still be jealous of that.”

“So, what are you up to?” I don’t want to talk about her stupid boots anymore.

“I want to know what happened? At your hearing?” She sits across from me.

“Some life skills class that Dad’s going to get me out of and restitution.”

“But weren’t you charged with, like, thousands?” She pulls a tiny mirror out of her purse to check her reflection. She’s always doing that. It makes me crazy. Like, what’s going to happen to your hair or makeup in five minutes?

“Yeah, but since I can travel for almost free normally, the restitution isn’t all that bad.” I stand up and catch myself in the full-length mirror. I start to do a once-over and then realize that I’m acting like Deborah. I immediately turn away.

“And speaking of traveling, how is the elusive Chase?” Deborah’s the only one I’ve told about him. Well, except for my sister, but Ellie knows everything.

“We just got off the phone.” I try not to sound smug, but I kind of am. “He’s coming to town to see me soon.”

“So, what are we up to?”

“I was about to get Ellie from school.” I always look forward to seeing Ellie. She’s young enough to still be honest. At least with me.

“Isn’t that what Marla’s for?” Deborah’s mouth pulls into a full pout—like that would work on me.

“Mom had extra stuff for her to do here today and it sucks being picked up by an empty car.” It happened to me more often than not. I don’t want it to happen to my sister if it doesn’t need to.

“It’s not empty. Doesn’t Jimmy still do most of the driving for your dad?”

“Most of it.”

“Well?”

I ignore her attempts to make me understand that she does not want to pick up my sister with me. “Wanna come, or should we get together later?”

Her shoulders slump. “Call me when you come back. But it sucks because we never see each other.” She widens her eyes in standard dramatic Deborah fashion.

“Right, because we live so far away.” I mimic her expression of annoyance.

“Hey, to some people, three floors is a big deal.” She’s teasing, but we both know kids snobby enough that it could also be true.

“That’s crazy. Now…
if you were in a building further south…”

She shudders. “Don’t even tease.”

* * *

Ellie’s smile is wide when I open the car door to let her in. I did good coming here. She hands her bag to me, then
her violin, and I scoot over while I hand
her my coconut hand-sanitizer because a lot of people go through that school in a day. She takes it without question because it’s just part of our routine.

“So, now that you’re not allowed to ride the train anymore, does that mean Chase is finally going to go away?” Ellie takes a drop and rubs her hands together before stuffing my bottle back in my bag.

“Definitely not.” I shake my head. I will never understand why she doesn’t like him. We all grew up together.

“I still don’t know what you see in him.” She shakes her head. Ellie’s grown-up mannerisms crack me up, but I try not to let on.

“Oh come on, Ellie.”
Just look at him
, is what I want to say but don’t. That wo
uld probably bring on a lecture,
that while amusing from an eleven-year-old, is not one I want to hear.

“I’m not arguing about his rich parents, even though I think they’re obnoxious, or the fact that he’s cute, but you could do so much better, Addie.” She sighs and sits back in her seat, keeping her eyes on me.

“Listen to you, talking all grown up.” I grab her knee, trying to tease.

“No guy that doesn’t want to be seen with you, and wants you to sneak around—is worth it.”

“It’s just until I’m eighteen,” I remind her.

“But he’s been busier lately, right? And I heard...” Ellie stops and sucks in her bottom lip. Afraid to tell me something.

My heart starts thumping harder for something that is going to be totally fine and easy to explain away. “What?”

“I heard he’s dating one of the Johnson girls, and that’s it’s getting really serious. Like getting the two families together kind of serious.” Ellie mumbles out the words. Now her grown-up demeanor is gone.

“Oh, it’s just Caitlyn.” I seethe a little at my inability to be around him to show her who his heart is with. “They’re good friends, Ellie. Nothing more. He even told me they were all getting together.” He loves me. He’s just trying to make sure no one’s on to us. He wouldn’t hurt me.

“If you say so.” I can tell by the raised eyebrows
that Ellie doesn’t believe me
.

“I say so.” I put a hint of authority in my voice so she’ll know to drop it.

“Are we eating with Mom and Dad tonight?”

“I haven’t heard anything.”

“Where’s Marla?”

Who knows? I have to talk to her, touch her, something. I need help. I can’t be expected to keep up on all my clothes, not with everything else I have going on.

“Doing chores for Mom probably. Want a pizza?” I raise a brow.

“Will you eat it with me?” she teases.

I sometimes skip out when we order pizza. It’s a lot of fat and carbs, but I know Ellie loves it. “I won’t skip out, but can we get a whole wheat crust?”

“Fine.” She pretends to be putout by slumping in her seat, but she wouldn’t be eleven if she didn’t.

I stare at her sweet face. This is my family. This is the person I have a connection with. That I care about. She’s enough.

FOUR

Dean

I finish my last bits of homework. Only another month or so before graduation. Part of me can’t wait, and part of me knows life will get infinitely harder. I’m smart enough to know that I have it good with Bill and Jeannette.

“So Dean, when does this class of yours start?” Bill, my foster dad, flops back onto one of three papasan chairs in the living room, dropping the Birkenstocks off his feet onto the floor. He rubs his hand over a bald head and looks at me.

We get second glances all the time because neither he nor his wife, Jeannette, are old enough to be my parents. They’re early thirties.

“Tomorrow.” And I’m not at all looking forward to it.

“You know.” He chuckles. “You wouldn’t be stuck doing it again if—”

“I’m well aware.” I raise my hand between us. “If someone would let me talk to my brother, this wouldn’t be an issue.” He knows this pisses me off, and I wish he wouldn’t bring it up.

Bill sighs. “We’ve put in petition after petition, Dean. I don’t know what to tell you.”

I want to put my fist through something, but that would just wind me up in counseling again or some other needless and pointless waste of my time.

“Jeannette has rehearsal until late tonight.” He flips open his iPad case and starts thumbing through pages. They may be total hippies, but they’re up on the technology.

“And why don’t you need to be there?” He’s the head tech at one of the theaters. I can never remember which one, mostly because he bounces around like they all seem to do.

“I made the sound effects guy be the techie head tonight.” He chuckles more to himself this time and flicks his finger across the iPad again.

“I’m gonna head to my room.” I stand up and duck under a row of plants hanging from the ceiling.

“Have you eaten?” He glances up at me briefly.

“Yeah. I’ve eaten.”
A bowl of cereal.

“Oh. A new kid will be here in a few days to take the top or bottom bunk. Best to claim your space now.”

“Will do.”
Shit
. I walk into my room, which is still dark.

Something moves near my window making me jump back into the hallway and slap the light on, heart pounding. The door still rests open, and no one’s in here. Weird. My eyes have to be playing tricks on me. I scan the room again as my heart begins to slow down. What the hell is wrong with me?

The floor is bare. The beds are made. The books are lined up on the shelves. I have my favorite sketches covering almost an entire wall. People, animé, some characters I’d like to build a graphic novel around someday. All of it. It feels like my space. For now.

I step in and look around again for whatever moved, even getting on my knees to check underneath the bed. Nothing. I’m an idiot.

I’ve had to share my room off and on for the three years since I moved in with Bill and Jeanette, but it always sucks getting a newbie. I think I’ll stick him on the top this time since I’m apparently seeing things in the dark. I hit my stereo and the Black Keys start playing. Nice.

“What’s up?” Katy half yells from my door.

“How was your date?” I tease.

“You mean coffee.” She turns the stereo down enough so we’re not yelling.

“Fine.” I stand on the ladder to see if I’ve left anything on the top. “Coffee.”

“Well, coffee was
nice
…” Her grin leads me to believe it was more than nice. “And then he forgot something in his shop so we had to go back there…” She’s half dancing while keeping her feet on the floor.

“And?” I can play this game for a short while.

“And we listened to music as loud as the speakers would go…” Her voice gets higher with each new admission.
             

“Okay, are you going to lead me on forever? Or tell me what happened?” I’m trying to be a good friend and listen, so I sit on the floor in front of the blue dresser and wait for her to finish her story.

She sits on the bottom bunk. “He asked me about you, and I told him how we’re good friends even though you don’t like my boots.” She wrinkles up her nose and sticks a boot in my face, which I push away.

“And I told him how we kissed once and how weird and awkward it was and then…” She’s leaning toward me and trying to pause dramatically.

I know she wants me to encourage her, but I’m not a girl. I don’t do the squeal girl thing.

“He kissed me.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you owe me.” I fold my arms.

“Nice try, Dean.” Her eyes narrow.

“So, now what?”

“Now I’m freaking out.” She grabs the sides of her head with her hands.

“And why is that?” I’m glad Katy and I are friends, because it gives me some insight into girls, but not glad, because I really should have learned more from her by now.

“Because I’ve never…you know…and he obviously has, and now it’s like this thing that’s going to be hanging out there.” She gestures randomly in front of her.

I hold my hands up between us. “I love you, Katy. But talking about your virginity is where I draw the line. And it’s only hanging out there.” I repeat her gestures. “If you’re thinking about it and want it to be.”

“Oh, come on.” She scoots herself out to the edge of my bed. “I need help here, pointers or something.”

“One.” I hold my finger up between us. “You’ve had coffee and one kiss.” I cross my legs and lean forward. “Two. Just tell the guy. Really, we don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Mostly it’s just overwhelming because we know when we screw things up, the girl will always remember we screwed up because we’re her first.”

“But what if me being, you know, all inexperienced freaks him out?” She is seriously worried about this.

“Then you need to find someone who’s not an asshole.” I laugh and lean back again.

“But what if I like him, even though he’s an asshole?” Her voice is filled with pleading.

“Then rent some porn and take notes. I don’t know, but leave me out of it.”

Katy may be older than me, but only by a month and since she’s so much shorter, it feels like she’s my little sister.

“Well, I think I’ve inflicted enough emotional damage on you today. Wanna grab a coffee and join the throngs at Starbucks?” She stands up as tall as she can and stops next to my door.

“Yeah. I ate cereal for dinner.” I crawl up from my spot on the floor.

“Again?” She grabs my doorknob.

“It’s what’s easy, and we both know what the food’s like here.” I shrug. “I need a CD while we’re out. Maybe we should stop and talk with Jesse. I could do some research for you. Find out where he stands on the whole virginity issue.” I hold in a smile.

She whirls around and puts her finger to my chest. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

“Wow. Vicious.” I hold up my hands. “Won’t say a word, promise. In fact, if it makes you feel better, I’ll tell him we slept together.”

“That’s a great idea!” Her whole face brightens. “Then I could avoid the conversation altogether, and if I do something embarrassing I could just blame it on you!”

“I was kidding. Go.” I gesture with both hands to get her out of my room. Are all girls this neurotic? And if so, how do they hide it so well?