Marked by Death (The Godhunter, Book 4) (20 page)

“
I don’t care,” his eyes betrayed the lie, “as long as you’re mine.”

“
Just let me see him,” I returned to begging. “All I need is to touch him, just once a month. Please, I’ll stay with you, just let me keep him alive.”

“
She’s not asking a lot,” Re tried reasoning again.

“
Will you give me your oath?” Anubis ignored the collective gasp around him, “Blood to Heart, given freely?”

“
Are you
proposing
?” I stared at him with fascinated horror. “Why don’t men ever offer me a ring when they propose?” The pain was making me lightheaded and my focus drifted away. My breaths were coming on short gasps, my body aching even in the reprieve of pain.

“
I’ll shower you with rings,” his eyes went bright with sparks of colors, “with jewels fit for Cleopatra, anything you want. Marry me, Miw-sher, and I’ll let your wolf live. You may visit him once a month. I vow it.”

Blood to Heart. It was an ancient Atlantean ritual that resulted in a union more binding than marriage. I swallowed hard, trying to think. Gods had broken the oath before but only after centuries of marriage and even then, they were still connected to each other.

Thor had made a Blood to Lips oath to me when we’d first met, to convince me that I was safe with him and his friends. Even that minor oath of protection had shocked the God Squad and resulted in a mental connection we still shared, at least outside of the Underworld. Neither of the blood oaths were undertaken lightly.

Then Trevor's wolf tore through me again and I screamed, writhing on the bed. Anubis' hands were stroking my arms, his face above mine with a sheen of tears over his swirling eyes. Silver, there was only silver flowing over the black. What did it mean?

“Alright,” I licked my dry lips. “Take me to him. Make a blood oath to me that you’ll let me visit him once a month, and I’ll make oath to you.”

His lips covered mine and his joy made me nauseous. He celebrated as Trevor lay dying. It was all a means to an end with him. My life, my wants, my loves, meant nothing to him. Trevor’s life meant nothing to him. I hated him more than ever and I was going to bind myself to him… to save Trevor. My beautiful wolf would live. In that moment it was all that mattered.

Over Anubis' shoulder, I met Re's eyes. They were grim and disappointed, even the shine of his skin seemed diminished. I think he'd expected more from Anubis. He shook his head and mouthed two words to me.

“
I'm sorry.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

The Paul Mitchell estate had a terrible history. Lovingly built by the hair product magnate, with sprawling buildings paneled in koa wood, it boasted a wrought iron gate decorated with a brass heart that split in two when it opened. Prophetic if you ask me, since it had never been lived in by its creator. Paul Mitchell died before he was able to move in and it was left to his son to complete the house. Now the estate was being fought over by his relatives. So they rented it out as the lawyers tried to figure out who owned it.

What an appropriate setting for my engagement party.

I sat in a wooden deck chair facing the calm sea at the back of the property. I breathed in the salty air deeply, trying to let the familiar scent calm me. In front of me, dark waves crashed on the pristine beach, bioluminescent microbes making them glow blue and seem so mystical. Behind me the celebration raged, light and laughter spilling out through the open sliding glass doors. It only made me feel more lost, more desolate.

I stared hard at the huge diamond glittering on my left hand. Anubis had gone all out, a five carat Harry Winston solitaire. I felt like Wilma Flintstone. It sparkled up at me in the half-light, taunting me with every shimmer. I tried to ignore it but it was a little hard to miss.

Then another round of Trevor's pain rocked through me and left me gasping. The episodes were getting closer together but less violent. It scared me. How long did Trevor have left? Would he make it in time? Damn Anubis, if Trevor died, I would find a way to kill him.

“
Vervain,” the voice was hesitant, unusual for Blue.

“
Come to gloat?” I was still breathing hard from the pain and I kept my gaze fixed on the water. I didn’t want to see his beautiful face, the face of a man who was once my friend.

“
You hurt me,” he slid into the chair next to mine. “Why didn’t you trust me?”

“
I did trust you,” I sighed when the pain subsided and looked over at him.

He was impressive as always, black hair thick and glossy though not quite as shiny as Anubis’. He had on a three piece suit, the slacks of which he was rubbing with the palms of his hands. His stunning jade eyes were tight around the edges, wrinkled slightly with strain.

“You asked to see in my mind,” he abandoned the rubbing to lean forward on his knees. “You didn’t trust me enough to take me at my word.”

“
If that’s what you think, then you weren’t listening,” I shook my head. We'd gone through this all already. I apologized, he tried to kill me, and I let him. What else did he want? “I told you why I needed to see inside you. I believed you but I knew the Squad wouldn’t. I needed proof or they would have just accused me of being too soft where you’re concerned.”

“
Are you?” His eyes traveled over my face.

“
Am I what?”

“
Too soft where I’m concerned?”

“
Don’t,” I covered my face with my hands, to block him out for a second. “Don’t do this here… now. The way I feel about you is a little irrelevant at the moment.” I held the ring up and it caught the light with merry determination, like a little evil star foretelling doom.

“
I could have you from this place in a second,” he whispered.

“
It wouldn’t matter,” I stared back to the sea. “I’ve been scarred by Death’s blade. The cold would spread again and he would simply call me back. Then it would be even worse. At least this way I’ve been able to assure that Trevor will live.”

“
I’m so sorry, little witch,” he looked down at his feet.

“
If you can forgive me, I can forgive you, Blue,” I patted his shoulder and he met my eyes again. “I've mourned the loss of your friendship and the one bright spot in this evening will be the return of it. Thank you for that. Now go enjoy the party. There’s no sense in you moping out here with me.”

“
Misery doesn’t like to be alone,” he said solemnly.

“
Misery loves company, is the phrase,” I smiled, “but close enough. This misery actually wants to be alone for a little while. I can’t stand for you to see me like this, please just go back inside. I’ll be back in when I’ve composed myself better.”

“
Of course,” he stood and gave me a half bow. Blue was always such a gentleman.

I wasn’t meant to be alone though. As Blue headed in, Ma’at came out.

“Wine?” Ma’at held out a champagne flute filled with red liquid. “I thought you might find champagne offensive.”

“
You thought right,” I took the glass and drunk down half of it. It wasn’t as sweet as Duat wine but it was good enough to numb the pain.

“
He’s here,” she said softly and those two words brought me straight to my feet.

“
Trevor?”

“
Yes,” Ma’at gestured inside and I suddenly noticed that the laughter had stopped.

The guests were gathered in a circle around something… someone. I rushed in and pushed them aside, shoving a few into each other in my haste. Trevor sat on the floor, glaring up at the gods but unable to fight in his weakened and bound state. I dropped down beside him and his face went slack with relief.

“Minn Elska,” he started to cry. “I thought I’d never…”

“
I know, Honey-Eyes,” I kissed him, pulled him tight to me, uncaring that I had an avid audience. “I love you so much,” I whispered as I felt the wolf in me reaching out to him as well.

“
I love you too,” he pulled at the ropes holding him. “What's happened? Tell me how to get you...”

“
Shhh,” I stroked his face. “We don’t have much time.”

“
What the hell is going on?” He spared a quick glance for the others.

“
Anubis took me to Duat,” I looked up but Anubis wasn’t there. Re was though, and he looked over his shoulder quickly before giving me a grim nod. “I agreed to make oath to him if he let me see you once a month, so you’ll live.”

“
What are you talking about?” Trevor’s eyes started to glow. “Are you saying you’re going to marry him?”

“
I’m saying I don’t have a choice.”

“
No,” he growled, “no. If you marry him, I’m dead anyway. Just stick a blade through me now, Vervain.”

“
Trevor,” I cried, my misery and desperation pouring out of my eyes. “Please don’t. The only thing keeping me going is the thought of you alive. I can’t bear it, if this is for nothing.”

“
Minn Elska,” he moaned.

“
Where there’s life, there’s hope,” I whispered in his ear. “Live for me, baby. Give me the hope that I’ll be with you again.”

“
Vervain, I love you.”

“
I should have married you,” the tears were scalding my cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

“
Enough,” Anubis was suddenly there, pulling him away from me and handing him to a couple of werejackals. They started to drag him away, Trevor fighting back as much as he could. It was comforting to see him regaining his strength already but when the jackals started to manhandle him in response, fear gripped me once more.

“
Don’t you dare hurt him!” I screamed. “Re! Please, help him!”

Re gave me another quick nod and ran after the departing pack of jackals and my mate. I saw a burst of light and then heard a high-pitched scream. I sagged in relief, thanking Re silently in my head. Till the day I died, I would never forget his kindness.

“He lives,” Anubis pulled me to my feet. “Re will see him home, I'm sure. It seems he'll do anything to appear the hero in your eyes,” he grimaced.

“
Vervain!” Trevor roared from the courtyard. “Anubis, you bastard dog of Hell! Let her go, she’ll never love you, all you’ll have is a shell! Vervain, I love you! I love you and I’ll find you! I’ll get you back!”

“
Trevor!” I screamed and ran after him but Anubis caught me up and filled me with his heat, turning my limbs to water and forcing me to collapse against him. I cried into his chest as he picked me up and carried me into the master bedroom. The door shut behind us with an quiet click.

In the other room, the party picked up again as if nothing horrifying had just happened, as if my life hadn’t been destroyed. My tears ran out and I was left empty. I flopped on the bed Anubis placed me on, staring at the ceiling in a daze. There just comes a point where your body can't process anymore grief. It kind of shuts itself off and goes numb. I had just flipped my off switch.

“Miw-sher,” Anubis’ face came into view. I wanted to claw at it, tear him to shreds like my heart had been. “It will get easier. When you love me, you’ll forget him.”

I didn’t say anything. I’d bargained for Trevor’s life and I’d do what I had to do to keep him alive but I was done playing games with Anubis. It would be exactly as my mate predicted. Anubis would have a shell. I vowed it in my heart, nothing more than this empty husk. No more fighting, no more games, no more twisted romance. He'd have only what he could take from me.

“Miw-sher?” He pulled me against him, cradling my body like a child. “Please speak to me.”

“
What shall I say?” My voice was as empty as I felt.

“
Tell me what I can do, what I can give you to make you smile at me.” He stroked the hair from my face.

“
The head of John the Baptist,” I made a bitter sound that was supposed to be a laugh.

“
I’ve hurt you,” he swallowed hard and began to rock me. “I can’t seem to do anything but. I’ve chained you and humiliated you, I’ve torn you away from those you love and the life you’ve made. I know all of this and none of my reasons, my loneliness, my deep need of you, excuse what I’ve done. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. I’m sorry for every minute I’ve made you suffer but I’m
not
sorry for keeping you. I won’t apologize for fighting with everything I have to hold onto you.”

I finally looked up at him. He was pouring all his emotions into me, opening his mind and soul up for my scrutiny, and I found myself floundering through his darkness. I shook under the weight of his despair, I’d only glimpsed the surface before. His life was centuries upon centuries of longing, waiting, and wanting something to fill it, fill him with purpose and the will to go on.