Marked by Death (The Godhunter, Book 4) (21 page)

I closed my eyes tight. I didn’t want to feel anything for him but hatred. I didn’t want to sympathize with him or sense the attraction between us flaring again. I didn’t want to see his side of it… but I did.

“
Wanting where its spite to try, Has made me live to let me die,” I whispered.

He tried to kiss me then but I turned my head away and I heard him make a low sound of despair. Understanding him, pitying him, did not change what he'd done to me and Trevor. I couldn't fully hate Anubis but I couldn't love him either.

“I can’t do this now,” I said to his stricken face. “Please Anubis, just leave me alone for a little while.”

He rested his forehead on mine and sighed. “Alright, Miw-sher, but please make an appearance tonight. I want the others to see my strong Godhunter. Don’t let that scene be the last thing they remember.”

“Anubis,” I pulled out of his arms and glared at him. The spark of anger driving some of my numbness away. “I couldn't care less what your friends think of me.”

“
Of course,” he nodded as he got to his feet. “That was selfish of me. Take all the time you need.” He walked out quickly, as if afraid to say something even more stupid.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Another day, another present. I stared at the long velvet box on the foot of the bed. Everyday since the engagement party, I’d found presents lying in wait for me. Sometimes they would be waiting on my plate at breakfast, sometimes on the table in the library, sometimes in the bedroom.

I picked it up, casting a glance at the intricately carved, stone jewelry box that sat on a table beside the bed. It had been his first gift, with a note which read that he intended to fill it to overflowing. It was going to take a lot to fill the four wide drawers and deep trench on its top but Anubis already had a pretty good start.

Inside it was a collection of jewelry I’d never dreamed of owning. Each piece was a work of art, a one of a kind, and most had magical symbols hidden in them. They weren’t just expensive, they were thoughtful and priceless. If they'd been from Trevor, I'd have delighted in each and every one. From Anubis, they just annoyed me.

I opened the latest box and inside was a gorgeous opal necklace. The opals had the blue cast I loved, gleaming and shimmering in their depths. There must have been twenty of them, all the size of my thumbnail, set in gold filigree with the three phases of the moon displayed at the center. It was breathtaking. I picked up the parchment that was resting beside it.

Sitting on the bed, I casually closed the box and tossed it on the jewelry case, opening the note to scan. It was a poem. I lifted a brow, vaguely amused. The God of Death wrote me poetry.

The Lady Lion is fierce and fair,

I’ve seen forever in her stare,

And so I stalked her by moonlight.

But though I caught her in my snare,

And chained her to my side, beware,

For the Lady, she still doth bite.

There is solace in her silky hair,

But I should’ve known to have a care,

For now what’s mine, is hers by right.

I’d thought to hold a prize so rare,

But as payment for what I dared,

She locked my heart and soul up tight.

I fell back into the bed, holding the poem to me. None of my lovers had ever given me poetry. The only poem I'd ever received was from Finn and honestly, it was pretty horrid. This wasn't so bad. It was much harder to find annoying than the jewelry.

If only he hadn't made a crucial mistake. He’d referenced my lioness. My cat was lost to me in Duat. I’d never lead my men, they’d most likely go wild without me, and there was a chance I’d never shift into my lion form again. I’d never run on four legs into battle or hunt my prey. What had originally seemed to be a romantic poem was taking on darker connotations.

“
Did you like the poem?” Anubis stood in the doorway, looking at me warily.

“
Why bother? I’m already yours,” I sat up and tossed the poem on the bed. “You don’t have to woo me.”

“
Is this your revenge then?” He came into the room and sat on the foot of the bed. “I treated you horribly and now you treat me the same.”

“
I agreed to stay here, to bind myself to you,” I edged away from him but he caught my hand and pulled me into his lap. I stiffened but my blood sped through my veins in an uncontrollable reaction to his nearness. “I never said I’d be kind to you.”

“
I can make you wet and writhing but I can’t make you look at me like you look at him,” his arms tightened around me. “You started to give in to me before, what changed? Why do you fight me now?”

“
What changed?” Was he really that obtuse? “You forced me to be with you in order to save the life of the man I love. I started to feel something for you, I don’t deny it. You could look into my head and see it if you wanted to. I understand your pain, your loneliness, and I was attracted to your honor but what you’ve done to me has no honor in it and I can’t respect that. I can’t respect you.”

“
You’re right,” he fingered the thick curls of hair at my back. “I have no honor when it comes to you. You’ve brought me that low. I can’t think past my desire, how you feel pressed up against me, what it's like to be inside you. I can’t think past your eyes, the defiance in them, the courage you always show no matter how afraid you are. Or the way you give compassion to everyone, including your enemies… including me. I’ve made you mine but it’s a two edged sword. You’re in my arms but you ache for another. I’m more happy than I’ve ever been but seeing you like this tears at me. I don’t know what to do to make you love me. How do I make you love me?”

“
You can’t,” I sighed. “Love just happens. Even my love magic can only work if there’s the seed of love there. If a heart is barren, nothing can make it bear fruit. There was once a young shoot rising up in my heart for you but you plucked it too soon and tore the roots up with it. Now there’s nothing left.”

“
Don’t say that,” his eyes flashed with colors and I felt his heat flare up in my body, forcing my limbs to move around him. “I’ll make you feel that way again.”

His hands pulled at the hem of my dress, sliding it up my thighs, then over my head. I straddled his lap, immobile but strangely calm. I couldn’t fight him, so it didn’t matter. What he did to me was his shame, not mine. I’d survived worse than a little rough sex.

My clothes were in a pile on the floor, joined in moments by his. I stared at the twining fabric and tried to keep my mind off the feelings his hands were stirring. They flowed over me with practiced skill and even though they brought me to passion, I knew I was just an instrument to him, to be played perfectly, to be made to sing.

When he applied his mouth to the task, I crested and my body sang for him but my heart was cold and silent. The desire was meaningless, the pleasure his tongue brought was cold, slipping away quickly. He didn’t seem to notice. He smiled up at me like he’d won and I rolled my eyes. We went through this every night. I wondered how long it’d be before he tired of it.

The thick mattress was beneath me then and I had no idea how I’d got there, I was so distracted with my thoughts. His beautiful face was over me, glassy hair with gold beads clicking, and rainbow eyes highlighting his strong features. Before he could lower his face to mine, I spoke.

“
Will you chain me?”

“
What?” He stopped, his lips an inch away from mine.

“
I want you to chain me,” my toneless voice fell like a bird shot from the sky, once so alive but then suddenly dead, falling, moving, but without life.

“
Why would you want that?” His gaze became a little frantic, the colors faltering.

“
It just feels right.”

“
It feels right?” He drew back and stared hard at me. “You
want
me to abuse you? Do you think it will make it easier then, easier to hate me?”

I just looked away.

“I’m not going to chain you,” his lips were on the pulse at my neck, tongue licking over its sluggish beat. “I’m going to make love to you until you scream my name, until his is wiped away completely.”

“
The iron chain and the silken cord are both equal bonds,” I whispered as he lowered himself to me.

Tingles spread over my skin wherever he touched me. I felt his heat swirling within me, demanding my desire, rushing between my legs like a thousand little kisses. My legs began to shake and he raised them to his shoulders, looking down on me in triumph, as he thrust into me and pounded out his frustration.

My body bucked, half curved in on itself from the force of his hips, only my head and shoulders left on the bed. His hands worked at my breasts, pinching and kneading till I was filled only with pleasure. That sweet pressure built again until it was all I knew, all I wanted. Anubis was right, he could make love to me till I went blank of all but desire, and that was fine. I’d take the reprieve. I’d take the pleasure offered because it was only temporary. When the last moans drifted away, my blood would slow and he’d leave me cold again.

I crested, screaming out his name.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Diamonds, I was dripping with diamonds. They were a girl’s best friend, right? I should be grateful I had so many of them. They were pinned throughout my long curls and cascaded down my neck in increasingly larger teardrops till the one at the bottom hung heavy over my chest, dangling, like some mythical beast had cried all over me.

My cleavage was completely covered by the gems, and my rapid breath was making them dance and sparkle. My cream silk gown was cut in a deep V, with long sleeves, a clinging waist, and flowing skirts. On my wrists were more diamonds, rows of bracelets and of course there was my big diamond ring. On my feet were diamond shoes, no really, diamond shoes. They were silk pumps encrusted completely with the gems. I literally looked like a million bucks and I felt as cold as all that ice seemed.

It was my wedding day.

“
Whoa,” Ma’at came into the dressing room, clad in simple blue silk and looking ten times as beautiful as I did in all my jewels.

“
It weighs a ton,” I poked at the necklace. “Look at me, all dressed up to marry the God of the Dead. I’m the freakin’ Corpse Bride. I should dye my hair blue.”

“
You sure do sparkle nice though,” she smiled and came over to hug me. When she was in close enough to my ear, she whispered. “The only way to break his hold on you is to drink from the Grayel. Tell them they must let you drink from the Grayel or all my efforts will be wasted.”

“
What?” I was jolted from my apathy.

“
I’m getting you out of here,” she pulled me to the door, saying in a louder voice. “Come on, I have a gift for you in my room.”

I went along with it, hardly able to hope that I might actually escape Anubis. We strolled casually through the hallway, arm in arm, like we had all the time in the world, while my heart rate sped up and tried to burst free of my skin.

It actually only took a few minutes to get to the tracing chamber but it felt like lifetimes. I was shaking and sweaty by the time we set foot on all that glossy obsidian. I turned to look at Ma’at and she held my hands.

“
I’ll open the way,” she said quickly, “then you direct the trace so I don’t have to leave with you.”

“
Will you be okay?” I suddenly realized that Ma’at would have to deal with the fallout of my disappearance.

“
He won’t be able to prove anything,” she smiled and winked. “Besides, I can’t help myself. I’m the Goddess of Justice and what he’s doing to you is unjust.”

“
Thank you, Ma’at,” I felt tears rise up. “If there’s ever anything I can do for you, just ask.”

“
I will, my friend,” she started to chant the words that opened the gates to the Underworld.

I chanted my own directions into the spell and felt the magic begin to pull me.

“Goodbye, Godhunter,” I heard Ma’at’s voice as if from far away. “May you never be forced to return to Duat.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

I was standing in my living room,
my
living room in
my
house. I couldn’t believe it. I was finally home. My welcome was an indignant meow and a hurtling pile of fur. I was shaking a little but I still managed to pick Nick up and give him a proper hello while he chastised me.