Marriage On Demand (16 page)

She took a step toward her closet, then stopped. No, not love, she reminded herself. It had been about sex and nothing else.
Austin
didn't believe in love and she wasn't in love with him. She might be a fool, but she wasn't crazy. Falling in love with
Austin
was a guarantee of heartbreak. She liked him a lot, enjoyed his company,
thought
he was a great guy. That wasn't love.

When she had dressed, she went downstairs to help with the children's breakfast. After that she tackled the mounting paperwork in her office, but it was hard to concentrate. She kept trying to figure out what she was going to say to
Austin
and wondering how he would react.

Finally, when she couldn't stand not knowing, she called out to Mary that she was going for a walk, then left the house and headed through the trees to
Austin
's barn. On her way she passed the open garage. Voices stopped her, and she paused to investigate.

His Mercedes sat in the center of the garage, next to a large four wheel-drive truck. There was a hall leading to another room. That's where the voices came from.

"
Austin
?" she called.

"We're in here."

We? Rebecca swallowed hard. Who was with him? A woman? She hesitated, wishing she'd taken the time to put on some makeup. All she'd done was
wash
her face and brush her hair, then pull on one of her favorite sundresses. She glanced down at the pale, floral-print fabric. Skinny straps held up the bodice. The dress showed off her slight tan and made her feel wonderfully feminine. She'd known she would need a boost of confidence when she faced
Austin
. Of course she'd just assumed they would be alone.

Stiffening her spine for courage, she walked across the garage and stepped into the workshop. It was a huge open room with big windows and a long workbench down the center. Toolboxes and saws and stacks of lumber had been pushed against the walls. At one end of the bench sat Austin and David. Between them was a small wooden box.

David grinned at her. "We're making a birdhouse.
Austin
's gonna let me paint it."

For once the shadows had been chased from the child's eyes. His color was good, his contentment genuine.

Austin
cleared his throat. "I sort of reached a dead end in my research and thought I'd take a break. David was here, so we decided to build something together."

She stared at him for several seconds before she was able to put a name to the expression she saw lurking in his gray eyes. Embarrassment. She suppressed a smile.
Austin
was embarrassed at being caught working with the boy. They'd obviously been having a great time together. What was the big deal? Why couldn't
Austin
admit he liked the kid?

Men. She would never understand them.

"I think it's terrific," she said, moving closer and studying their project. "It's going to be very nice. Where are you going to hang it?"

"Outside my window," David said. He pointed to the metal loop at the top of the roof. "
Austin
said we can hang a hook under the eaves and I'll be able to see who comes to live in my house."

"Pretty neat." She ruffled the boy's blond hair. He looked up at her and smiled. The poignancy of his expression made her want to weep. If it'd been her choice, she would adopt David in a minute. As a single woman, she would have problems with his relatives. They'd mentioned they were willing to let him go to a family, but abandoning him to a single parent would look bad, even to their selfish minds. Besides, she already had a child of her own to worry about.

Instantly all her concerns about
Austin
and how he would react returned to swamp her. She glanced at him and saw he was watching her. Could he see her guilt? Had he guessed? She sent up a quick prayer to God to please transport her somewhere else, but He wasn't listening. She sighed. He probably was listening, but figured she had to go ahead and face the ramifications of what she'd done.

She squared her shoulders. Not for a minute did she regret making love with
Austin
. She didn't even regret being pregnant. It was telling
Austin
about it that was giving her pause.

She crouched down in front of David and smiled at him. "I have to talk to
Austin
, honey. Would you mind finishing the birdhouse another time?"

David leaned forward and gave her a hug. "I'll go to the house and ask Mary for a snack."

"You do that."

He turned toward
Austin
. "Can I come back tomorrow?"

Austin
looked uncomfortable, then nodded. "Sure sport."

David threw his arms around him and squeezed tight.
Austin
sat in his chair, frozen. He made no move to hug the boy back, although Rebecca thought she saw a flicker of affection in his eyes. David released him and scampered out of the room. She heard his running footsteps on the concrete in the garage, then there was quiet.

They were alone.

She stood up, edged back from the table and started to walk around the workshop, investigating the tools and supplies

"What's up?"
Austin
asked. He remained seated at the workbench and bent over the birdhouse.

His not looking at her made it easier, she told herself, even as she wondered how he could be so casual. Of course he couldn't know why she was coming to see him. But it had been exactly thirteen days. Had he guessed? Maybe he didn't care.

She sighed. What was she supposed to say? She thought of several opening lines and discarded them all. Why was this so hard? All she had to say was
Austin
,
I'm pregnant.
No big deal.

She stood staring at a red toolbox and opened her mouth to speak. "It doesn't mean anything." That wasn't right. She tried again. "It doesn't have to mean anything to you if you don't want it to. It means a lot to me. Of course, why wouldn't it? I just don't want you to think it's about money. Yours. I don't want it or feel that a claim is necessary. It doesn't have to be disruptive. I guess you can ignore the whole thing."

"Rebecca? What the hell are you talking about?"

She turned to face him. He'd risen to his feet and loomed over her. Six feet four inches of confused male.

"I have a great job," she said. "Lots of support, friends, a decent income. I don't have my own place, but I'll be getting one as soon as the new home for the children is built. I think it would be a mistake for me to move out while they're in temporary quarters."

"I still don't know what this has to do with anything." His gray eyes locked on hers. He wasn't smiling. He wasn't doing anything but waiting and watching. It was unnerving, like trying to take a test with the teacher breathing
down
her neck. "Just say it."

"I'm pregnant."

Nothing about his expression changed. His mouth stayed in a straight line. His eyes continued to hold hers. Not by a twitch of a muscle did he give away what he was thinking. She waited, clasping her hands in front of her waist, nibbling on her bottom lip. The silence stretched between them until the room vibrated from the tension. Would he blame her? Did he understand that she hadn't done this on purpose? She'd never really seen
Austin
angry. Would he frighten her? She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but fear could be pretty upsetting.

She tried to think of something intelligent to say. Nothing came to mind. Just when she became convinced he was never going to say anything at all, he spoke. She'd spent the morning planning her response to any number of things he might say. She thought she'd planned for every contingency. She'd missed one.

"Rebecca," he said, his voice low but clearly audible, "will you marry me?"

Chapter 8

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^
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R
ebecca might have been beautiful and gentle, and terrific with kids, but she was an amateur when it came to hiding her feelings.

Austin
watched her carefully, monitoring what she was thinking. Shock widened her eyes and drew the color from her skin. Her lips parted, but she didn't speak. Her fingers twisted together. She looked as stunned as when she'd turned around and seen him undressing that night in his loft.

But she didn't recoil. That was something.

She was going to refuse, of course. He expected her to.

Why would a woman like her want to marry a guy like him?

After what he'd told her the last time they'd been together, he was surprised she'd come this close to him again. No doubt her sense of right and wrong had convinced her he should know about the baby.

Baby. He swore under his breath and stared at her stomach. He couldn't believe it. They were going to have a child together. Whether she wanted to or not, they were going to get married. No child of his was going to be born a bastard.

"You want to marry me?" she asked softly.

"Yes."

She held out her hands in front of her, palms up.

"Why?"

"Because of the baby."

"This is the nineties, Austin. You don't have to marry a woman just because you got her pregnant. I would have thought you'd be the last person to care about convention."

"I don't care what other people think. This is between you and me. I want us to get married. I want my child to have a name."

There. He'd said it. He watched as understanding dawned in her eyes. He'd told her a little about his childhood and what had happened to him. Being the compassionate type, she would melt inside. It was a dirty trick, but he didn't care.

He would do whatever was necessary to protect his child from the horrors of the world. Even if he had to lie, cheat and steal. He trusted no one. Not Rebecca, not even
himself
.

"I thought you'd be angry," she said shyly. "You're acting very calm about the whole thing. Did you guess?"

"No, but I'm not surprised. Life has a way of holding me responsible for my actions. I didn't think this time would be any different."

"That's not very romantic." She tossed her hair over her shoulders, leaving her face bare to his gaze.

"I know. I'm sorry. This isn't about moonlight and roses, but the proposal is genuine."

"If we get married, I'll be your wife."

"I know."

"But I don't love you."

For the first time since she'd made her announcement, he relaxed enough to smile. "I know. I don't want you to love me. I want to give the baby a name and a home. Nothing else. I know this isn't what you'd planned. Maybe you would have found another
Wayne
. Maybe you wouldn't have. You're still emotionally connected with him. When you're ready to let go of him and move on, we'll work something out. Being married doesn't have to change our lives all that much."

She drew her eyebrows together, as if she was mulling over his argument. "I don't…" She paused, then tried a different tack. "I do care about you,
Austin
, but marriage, gosh, that's so huge. It's really not necessary. I can take care of the child fine on my own. He or she can have your last name. I don't mind that."

He took a step toward her, closing the distance between them. When she tilted her head back so she could meet his gaze, he gently touched her cheek. Her soft skin burned him clear down to the black hole of his heart. "That's not good enough. I've got a lot of flaws, but running away from my responsibilities isn't one of them. You were the inexperienced one. I should have known better than to assume the birth control was taken care of. I didn't know you were a virgin, but I could tell you hadn't been around. Your pregnancy is my fault. I was too caught up with wanting to get you into bed to think the thing through. Now there's a baby to consider. I won't walk away from that."

"If I remember correctly, I was the one making all the offers. You resisted me, almost to the end." She smiled up at him, her expression teasing.

"Rebecca Chambers, I wanted you from the first time I saw you two years ago."

" Really?"

He nodded.

"Then why didn't you say anything? Ask me out?" Her smile broadened. "Although I probably would have expired right on the spot. The shock would have been too much."

"I would never have asked you out. You're not my type."

He was being honest with her. He wondered if it would scare her away. But Rebecca was strong, even if she didn't believe it about herself. He'd always suspected there was a core of steel inside her. She proved it now by not taking offense at something that was obvious to both of them.

"If I'm not your type now, I'd better learn how to be," she said. "After all, we are having a child together. Even if we don't get married, there are going to be a lot of joint decisions." She shrugged. "The list is endless. I don't even know where to start. What kind of parents are we going to be
Austin
? I don't know the first thing about being a mother."