Marriage On Demand (8 page)

In the back of his mind, a voice whispered he might be hurting her, and he tried to hold back. Then she reached forward and cupped his buttocks, pulling him closer.

The explosion ripped him apart from the inside. Pleasure sucked at his breath and turned his muscles into quivering stone. Scattered pieces of his psyche remained suspended for a single heartbeat, before reassembling.

Sanity returned and, with it, the ability to move.
Austin
stayed where he was but slowly opened his eyes.

Rebecca stared up at him. Her face was flushed, her full mouth smiling faintly. There was nothing mocking about her expression, or predatory. But she'd come to his bed a virgin. What the hell was going on?

"You probably want an explanation," she said, turning away from his gaze.

"Probably," he agreed.

The blush started just above her small, perfect breasts and climbed quickly up her neck to her cheeks.

"I didn't lie to you," she said, her voice soft and laced with embarrassment.

"You left out a pretty big detail." He probed his emotions and was surprised to discover he wasn't angry. Confused, a little panicked perhaps, but not outraged. Unless of course she had planned this.

He drew his eyebrows together and glared down at her. "If you thought you were going to try and trap me—"

"I didn't," she said quickly, turning her head toward him and meeting his gaze. "Far from it. I…" She swallowed and the blush got deeper.

"Yes?" He rested his hands on her knees, liking the feel of her soft, naked skin under his palms. He supposed if he was any kind of a gentleman, he would pull out of her so that she could cover herself with the sheet. Fortunately for him, he wasn't a gentleman, so he didn't have to worry about her embarrassment. He wanted to keep her off guard. After what had just happened, he was damn well going to get the truth out of her, regardless of how low he had to stoop to get it. Besides, being this close to her was exciting him again.

"I didn't tell you I was a virgin because I knew if you knew, you wouldn't make love to me." She spoke very quickly, as if forcing the words past a constricted throat. "Don't be mad at me, please? I sort of picked you on purpose Because of your reputation and all. I thought if any one could fix my problem, you could. Maybe you should be flattered…"

She ended her speech with a tentative smile. He kept his face stern and her smile died quickly, leaving her mouth trembling and vulnerable. He had to fight the urge to bend down and gather her into his arms. The need to hold her close and comfort her was almost as overwhelming as the need that had pushed him to take her virginity.

"Not good enough, Rebecca," he said, deliberately making his voice cold.

She shivered and crossed her arms over her bare chest.

"You're angry at me." It wasn't a question, so he didn't answer. "I suppose I understand why. I guess a man doesn't like to be burdened with a woman's virginity without at least having some kind of warning."

That got him where he lived. He was about to pull back and let her cover herself with the sheet when she reached out one of her slender pale hands and touched his thigh. Instantly heat seared him, going directly from the point of contact on his leg to his groin. Blood flooded him, causing him to fill and stretch her. Her brown eyes widened.

"
Austin
?"

He muttered a curse and started to shift away.

She grabbed his wrist and held on. "Don't go yet. I have to tell you I'm glad it was you. I know it's silly, but you made me feel safe and wonderful. I want to thank you for that."

He shook his head. "This is the craziest thing that's ever happened to me."

Her smile returned full force. "I doubt that. You must always have women throwing themselves at you. I can't be the first one who's succeeded in seducing you."

Despite his confusion and the anger that could flare to life at anytime, he grinned at her. "You did not seduce me."

Her hips flexed, drawing him closer. "Sure I did."

"Rebecca," he growled, "
don't
toy with me."

"Then don't be angry. Oh,
Austin
, I know this isn't what you planned, but it was perfect for me. You made my first time wonderful. I'll treasure this always. I didn't come here to trap you, and I didn't mean to lie. If you knew what it's been like being a twenty-nine-year-old virgin… I told a couple of men I'd been dating and they stared at me like I was crazy. They couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"Then they were fools."

Her blush had faded, but now it returned. "Thank you."

He stared down at her, at her naked, slender body, so pale against the black satin comforter, at her hair fanning out around her shoulders. Her mouth was slightly swollen from his kisses, her skin flushed with faint embarrassment. Despite the warmth of the room, or perhaps because of their intriguingly intimate position, her nipples were hard, two coral-colored, tempting peaks.

He ran his hands down her bare thighs toward her center, then drew back before touching her soft, protective curls. "I'm not the answer to your prayers, Rebecca. I'm no hero."

"You're wrong about that, but I know what you mean. I'm not looking for a commitment. I just want to forget about my past, and my virginity was the last reminder. I'd saved it for
Wayne
and he's been gone a long time. I wanted it gone, too. Please don't make a big deal out of this. I won't."

"I want to believe that."

She raised herself up on one elbow and drew an X over her left breast. "Cross my heart. I'm not involved. I know you're not, either. You've had so many women that in two weeks you won't even remember my name."

Her smile was too much to resist. He bent forward and pressed his mouth to hers. She still tasted sweet. That surprised him. He pulled back and studied her face. The air of innocence continued to cling to her, as if it had nothing to do with the loss of her maidenhead. He grimaced at the old fashioned phrase. What was wrong with him? So she'd been a virgin. So he'd been the one to change that. So what? It didn't mean anything.

"I'll probably remember you for at least a month," he said, trying to match her light tone.

"I'm not going to get all weird on you, Austin." She traced his face, her touch warm and soft against his skin. "I know you're completely out of my league."

He was only five years older than she was, but suddenly he felt like a debauched old man. Her sweetness mocked his black soul, her quick, easy smiles hurt his tired eyes. He'd seen too much, done too much, lived too long in the dark. She was right – he was out of her league, but not in the way she imagined.

He felt her hand slip from his jaw to his neck and then lower. She rocked her hips slightly, urging him to take advantage of their position and his aroused state.

He couldn't. He swallowed and tasted the bitterness of regret on his tongue. When he started to pull out, she murmured a protest. He silenced her with a quick kiss. "You'll be sore enough in the morning," he said quietly.

He went into the kitchen. Candlelight danced against the walls and railing, weaving erotic patterns that made him
want
to forget what he'd just done. But he couldn't.

Deep inside the darkest, blackest part of him, a primal rage swelled. It wasn't directed at Rebecca, but at the cosmos and fates that had drawn them together. His muscles tensed. Sound vibrated in his throat, but he swallowed the words because they had no meaning. He fought the sexual thoughts that flooded him and the urge to claim this woman again.

The primitive reaction, the desire to proclaim her as his own, shocked him. He'd spent most of his adult life fighting against his primal nature and the sudden confrontation with that animalistic side of him was unexpected. Was it about bedding a virgin or bedding Rebecca? A shudder racked his body. He didn't want to know.

"
Austin
, are you okay?" she called from across the room.

He cleared his throat. "I'm fine." He banished those thoughts to a small place in his mind and turned his back on them.

He returned to the bed, knelt beside her and brushed the hair from her face. "How do you feel?"

"Wonderful."

"Sore?"

She shifted, then grimaced. "Maybe a little."

Her pale body looked so slender and fragile on his big mattress. He wanted to take back all they'd done together and forever erase it from both their memories. At the same time, he wanted to take her again. He didn't. Instead, he slipped under the covers beside her. The storm had passed, but the electricity stayed off. She snuggled against him, her body feminine and warm. He thought about pushing her away, then told himself it was a little too much
like
closing the barn door after the horse was long gone. So when she rested her arm on his chest, he pulled her close, slipping one leg between hers.

"Thank you again," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "Now I'm just like everyone else. Normal."

"What are you going to do with your newfound freedom? Start seducing unsuspecting men?"

She giggled softly. Her breasts gently brushed his side and her breath fanned his face. He tightened his arm around her back and rested his cheek against her hair.

"No. I'm not the seducing type. I would like to find someone and get married. Have a few kids."

"Maybe you'll meet another
Wayne
."

She stiffened slightly, then relaxed. "I don't want another
Wayne
. I could never love anyone the way I loved him."

He hadn't expected her words to affect him, but they did. Occasionally he was reminded of his solitary existence. Most of the time it didn't bother him; he even preferred life that way. But sometimes, like tonight, the words crept past his barrier and entered his soul. Sometimes he felt regrets for what he'd lost and a sense of longing for what he would never have. If only things had been different.

Austin
grimaced, then called himself a fool. It hadn't been different, and he d given up on wishes a long time ago.

They didn't make any difference, anyway.

Rebecca snuggled closer and sighed. "Are you still mad at me?"

"I was never mad."

"Good." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, then settled down with her head on his shoulder. "'Night,
Austin
."

"Good night, Rebecca."

Within seconds she was asleep. He listened to the sound of her breathing. He would like to think his expert lovemaking had worn her out, but he had a feeling her exhaustion was more about the stress caused by the fire than anything else.

He tried to turn away from her, but even in her sleep she clung to him, seeking out his warmth, holding on to him with her arms and legs. He fought against the desire her presence evoked. His body betrayed him, hardening into throbbing need. It would be easy to roll her over and take 1qr again. She probably wouldn't mind. But he couldn't.

Rebecca Chambers had been a virgin. He shook his head, unable to believe it even now. She'd been right. He wouldn't have made love with her if he'd known the truth. Not because he was afraid of hurting her, but because it implied a gift he didn't want to have. She'd promised to walk away from him and not look back. Was that possible? She'd sworn she had no emotional connection to him.

He shifted slightly, pulling her closer and gently rubbing her back with his hand. She slept on.

He couldn't argue with her logic. He wasn't relationship material. He didn't want a wife and didn't know the first thing about being a husband. As long as they were both able to walk away, there wouldn't be a problem. Besides, he wouldn't ever have to see her again.

He closed his eyes, then opened them suddenly. Of course he was going to have to see her again. She was moving into his house with her orphans. A premonition of danger filled him. He tried to fight the feeling, but it was too strong.

She'd promised to walk away and not look back, but it wasn't going to be that easy. As he stared into the darkness he wondered what kind of a price he would pay for this night.

* * *

Rebecca awoke to bright sunshine and the smell of coffee. She stretched against the soft sheets and opened her eyes.

This wasn't the children's home. This wasn't even the school auditorium where she'd spent the past few nights. She glanced around the unfamiliar loft, then gasped.

She was in
Austin
's bed.

She stared down at the wide mattress at the decadent, black satin comforter, then rubbed her fingers against the expensive sheets. Without thinking, she started laughing.

"I guess this means you're awake. How'd you sleep?"

The low masculine voice cut through her amusement. Rebecca glanced up at Austin, who was leaning against the kitchen counter. With the sunlight behind him, she couldn't read his expression, but his body proclaimed him wickedly male, in jeans and a worn sweatshirt pushed up to the elbows.

"I slept great," she said. "How about you?"

"Not bad."