Marriage to a Mister (A Daughters of Regency #1) (17 page)

Fleur looked over to Julia, her breath slow and steady as she slept on. "Exactly. It has always been just Julia, father, and I. Perhaps having more than one motherly figure in Julia's life will also help."
 

Madeleine nodded. "You have done a wonderful job with her, Fleur, but Julia is a free spirit. I, for one, admire that in her."

"I worry for her; she can be very forceful. What if she runs into trouble and I am not there to help her?"

"We will not allow it, dearest. Frankly, I'm more concerned about you."

Fleur's head snapped up from the wine she was about to sip. "Me? Have I done something wrong?"

"Nothing at all, I just meant you are a new wife now and there are plenty of things that come along with that role."

"Oh, I see. I've long kept the accounts for Papa—"

Madeleine chuckled. "No, dear, that is not quite what I meant."
 

She trailed off when Julia stirred, opening her eyes in surprise. Fleur was glad of the distraction, which took the focus off her acute embarrassment when it dawned on her what Madeleine had been referring to.

"Did you have a good nap?" Madeleine teased.

Julia tried to hide her yawn. "If I had fallen asleep any sooner, I would have fallen straight into my dinner."

"Now that would have been a sight to behold, but you must be tired still. Fleur, you and Julia go on up to bed, we will see each other again in the morning."

Both girls nodded and kissed Madeleine on the cheek before saying good-night. Making their way up through the dark wood walls of the hallway, Fleur noticed the paintings of what had to be every Earl of Blackburn for the past several generations. It had been a very long time since she'd seen them.

Julia paused in front of her door. "Everything is going to change now, is it not? If you had not married, we would be staying together and we could stay up and talk like we always do."

Fleur smiled. "You mean you would stay up and talk whilst I would try to sleep."

Julia's chin quivered, her voice thin. "I do not have anyone now."
 

"Julia." Fleur stood in the hallway, dismayed. Julia was always so strong, so vivacious. She had no idea how badly it had affected her and Fleur felt guilt press upon her. "Come, let us go inside."

Fleur opened the door and laid her hand on Julia's back, ushering her into the dark room. She lit the candles on the bedside table from the candle in her hand and they sat upon the bed.

"Now, what is this about you not having anyone? You will have Father, and Prudence. I'm sure she could come stay with you for an extended period of time. In fact, she would benefit from it next season."

"I know, and I love Prudence, I truly do, but it is not the same," she said, looking at Fleur with her bright blue eyes misted over.

"And I will not be far away, just a two-day ride for a visit, and during in the spring we will be minutes away from each other during the season, if we are both in town," said Fleur, faltering. Would she be in town during the season? She had no idea what Evan even did for a living. It frightened her, how little she knew him now.

"And I will write to you, often. I am not going anywhere, Julia."

Julia nodded and sank onto Fleur's shoulder, tears falling on her neck.
 

"Besides, one day, some dashing young man is going to come and sweep you off of your feet, and you will have a family of your own."

Julia snorted, laughing through her sobs. "I do not want to be married, not ever, not if it means I have to leave behind everyone I love."

Fleur reached up and started to unpin Julia's hair. "You would not be leaving your family, Julia, you would be adding to it, giving me a brother and Papa a son he could spend time with, another cousin for Andrew."

Julia sighed and sat up from Fleur's shoulder. "I've ruined your dress. Now it's all snotty."

Fleur laughed. "I have been in a carriage most the day so I'm not sure it matters, but how do you feel? Better? You know I am just a short walk away if you need me."

"Short? Blackburn Hall is monstrous. It may take me a week to find you."

They laughed together. "You are overtired and need to get some rest. Undress and prepare for bed properly or I will send Lucy in here after you, and do not leave your candle burning."

"I will. Goodnight, Fleur."

Fleur stood and looked down on her sister lying upon the bed, already nodding off in her clothes. She sighed as soft light twinkled onto Julia's alabaster face from the window.

She walked to the door and turned the knob. "Goodnight, Julia." She left the room and closed the door gently and made her way to her own assigned rooms, thinking it was time for her also to let go. Her little sister was grown now, and as Madeleine had said, she was a free spirit, and she needed to fly on her own.

***

Evan sat around the room with the men feeling drained. He was just about to stand to serve himself a cool drink when his mother flung open the doors to his father's billiard room.

"I figured you boys would be playing billiards, seeing how we are all still on town hours, but here you all are, sitting around and looking maudlin."

"Actually, we are all worn out, the young and the old," his father said amidst laughter. "Where are the girls?"

"I sent them to bed nearly half an hour ago. Poor Julia was nodding off into her dinner, and Fleur was not far behind. I just came in to say a quick goodnight before I retire as well."

The earl stood and held out his arm for her to take. "I think I am for bed as well. Julian, shall the old folk retire and leave it to the youth?"

"Yes, if we are to tour your lands in the morning with your steward then I better sleep now. It has been quite some time since I spent more than an hour on horseback. Good night boys," he said, nodding to them all. He walked towards the door and stopped, looking back to Evan. It looked as if he were about to say something but thought better of it, and shook his head before walking out the door.
 

"You boys behave," the earl said, escorting Madeleine out of the library.

The boys sat in silence, most having the good grace not to stare at Evan.

All but Felix, that was. "Well?" he asked.

Evan nearly jumped at the break in silence. "Well, what?" he asked, irritation replacing alarm.

"Well, what he asks, should not you be upstairs with your wife? Evan, it is your wedding night."
 

Evan glared at his cousin, ready to let him have it. "Leave him be, Felix," Edward intervened. "I think it is time we all went to bed."

Felix, Dom, and Nathan all took that for the dismissal that it was and followed each other out of the room, Nathan giving Evan a long look before he trailed after.

Evan and Edward could still hear Felix as they out of the room, Dom behind him telling him to be quiet, while Evan was sure Nathan was trying not to laugh.

"Ignore Felix, you know how he is," Edward said, trying to soothe Evan's annoyance.

"I'm not angry with Felix, not really. I should probably be grateful he held his tongue this long and did not pop off in front of her father."

Edward moved forward and grasped Evan's shoulder. He watched his younger brother fidget, certain that something was bothering him, and certain that
something
was a pretty, shy young woman with dark hair and blue eyes. One who was, at that very moment, waiting in Evan's bedchamber.

"So you are not angry with Felix, but you have been surly all evening, barely saying a word."

Evan snorted. "I'm always surly."

Edward smiled. "Yes, but usually you are not so quiet in front of the family, and I know you find comfort in Nathan's presence, however much you try to deny it. So tell me what is troubling you."

Evan looked up at Edward, a slow smile edging onto his face. "You know it still bothers me that you are taller?"

"It is fitting for the elder brother. Now stop stalling, Evan."

Evan sighed and walked across the room, his brother's hand falling off his shoulder. He paced and his thoughts raced. How would he explain?

'Fleur ..." he said abruptly.

"Yes?" Edward prompted. "Evan, for goodness sakes just say it."

Evan spun on his heel, his pacing grinding to a halt. "What if I do something wrong? Say something wrong? Again? I always show my worst side to Lady Fleur, which is probably no more than I deserve, seeing as how I broke her heart so many years ago. Now all of a sudden she's my wife? And I'm just supposed to know how to speak to her? Edward, I do not know her anymore. I think that perhaps God is punishing me."

Edward stared at Evan, thinking it might be the longest speech he'd ever heard Evan utter. "God is punishing you? I didn't know you were so devout."

Evan glared. "That is beside the point."

Edward leaned against the wall, one long leg crossing over the other, raising one finger to push the spectacles back onto his nose. "Evan, listen to me. You have been married for approximately, what? Fourteen hours? And to a woman you have not spoken to or seen since she was sixteen."

"Yes, and I was horrible to her when we saw each other last, I can't deny it."
 

"The point is you are now both adults. She does not know you any more than you know her, so why not show her the real you? I know you still care for her."

Evan bristled. "It is only natural —"

"I am not accusing you, Evan, or poking fun. Unlike most men I do not think it a weakness to love one's wife. How could I, after seeing Mother and Father?"

Evan suddenly felt very tired, remembering what he overheard earlier that day. "Still, I have it on good authority she would rather it have been you. Her life with you would have been easier after all."

Edward cuffed Evan on the back of the head.
 

"Hey, that smarts!" shouted Evan.

"Keep talking nonsense and I'll do it again," said Edward, straightening his cuffs and coat. "She's probably up there right now, terrified and wondering why it is talking you so long to come to her."

Evan sighed. "I wish Mother had put us in separate rooms."

"That would hardly be appropriate."

Evan reached down and slammed the cue ball into the corner pocket. "Damn what is appropriate."

"And that too is your problem. Evan, I am quite sure Lady Fleur cares, as much as you do not. You have to take into account both of your needs now, not just your own. She might be shy, but keep in mind she will want for friends in her new home.
 
You need to help her ease into her new life, and perhaps in return she can help you ease into yours."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Evan asked, perplexed.

Edward sighed. "Not a thing. Let's retire. Just remember, if you are feeling unsure, then she probably is as well."

Evan nodded and led the way from the room towards the stairs. What Edward said made sense, and he wanted to become the man that she would need to settle into her new life as his wife, but he also hoped and prayed that life would be kind to him, and Lady Fleur would be asleep when he arrived to their room.

***

Fleur lay in bed, listening for any sign of Evan. She had heard the other men pass by her room more than half an hour before, and she wondered what was keeping him.

Leaning up, she strained to hear but heard nothing but the hum of quiet. She peeked around the room and felt foolish, so she rolled over onto her back with a huff. She knew Evan was avoiding her earlier that day and while it did bother her, if she was truthful with herself, she was also relieved.

What would we say to one another?
she wondered.

It was almost if they had to start anew, as if they had never met before, yet they had known each other, knew each other well in fact, and now she was suddenly his wife, laying in bed waiting for him.

What if he expected ... but of course he would. She knew more than Madeleine suspected. Madeleine grew up in the city, but Fleur grew up on a farming estate with plenty of horses and livestock. She knew exactly what to expect. Well, maybe not
exactly
, but definitely in theory.

She covered her eyes with her hands and shook her head back and forth, her hair wildly whipping about.

"I'm definitely not ready," she said to the empty room.
 

Raising up quickly, she flung her legs over the bed and picked up the candle she had left burning for Evan on her bedside table. She stood and crept toward to the door, feeling silly, but she could not stand the anticipation any longer.

She placed the candle down on the dresser and leaned forward, placing the flat of her ear against the cool wood, her hair falling in a curtain of dark around her face.
 
Irritated, she pushed it behind her ear.

Hearing nothing, she eyed the door handle, wondering if she dared open it just a crack, just so she could hear something, anything. Talking a deep breath, she slowly reached for the handle, and that is when she heard it. Footsteps, heavy booted steps getting louder, coming closer and closer. Fleur stood in place holding her breath, scared to move, when the booted feet stopped directly in front of her door.
 

She should have run when she first heard the footsteps, but now she was frozen. If she ran now he would surely hear her, so she waited and waited until she wondered if someone really had paused in front of the door, but then she finally heard him.

"Just open the door, you great idiot," she heard Evan say.

Fleur's eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth as she hid her giggles behind her hand and ran for it. Flinging herself on top of the bed, covers and all, she closed her eyes, feigning sleep just as the door opened. Her hair was splayed around her, covering her face, and she was thankful it hid her small smile.

She heard Evan walk around the bed and felt him work the cover out from under her feet and then slide it over her. There he stood, and she could almost feel his gaze as she wondered what he was thinking.
 

She felt the edge of the bed dip slightly, and she knew he was kneeling in front of her, his elbows placed upon the bed as he leaned, his breath not very far from her own as it stirred the hair covering her face.