Mates, Dates and Cosmic Kisses (11 page)

I glanced over at Lucy. She had one eye open as well. Our eyes met and we giggled.

Then someone started at the back of the class.

‘Kneedeep.’ A frog sound.

‘Tweet twoo.’ Someone did an owl sound.

‘Meeow.’ I did a cat.

‘Mooooo.’ That was Lucy.

The whole class joined in with animal sounds until it sounded like a farmyard.

‘Girls,
girls
!’ cried Miss Hartley. ‘What on earth do you think you’re doing?’

By now, we were all laughing our heads off.

So much for Christmas meaning goodwill to all men and schoolgirls. We all got detention and had to stay in at lunch-time.
Detention.
On the last day of term? Bah. Humbug. But I was
feeling marginally better. Perhaps prayer and meditation do work after all.

Then maybe so does a good laugh.

In detention, Miss Hartley gave us instructions to write out hymns.

‘Now I’m going next door to the staffroom,’ she said. ‘And if anyone speaks, there’ll be another fifteen minutes’ detention.’

We all did a few lines, then I got bored so I wrote a song about boys not phoning. Then I had an idea. Miss Hartley said if anyone speaks we’d get another fifteen minutes. She didn’t
say anything about singing.

It is Christmas after all. I started up a hymn and soon everyone joined in.

At last, term was over. A Merry Christmas one and all.

Chapter 12

The next morning
, Mum was up early and decorating our Christmas tree in her usual immaculate manner. White and silver, each bauble placed with
precision and each necklace of tinsel making a perfect circle round the branches. What a contrast to the tree at Lucy’s, I thought. Theirs looks like someone got out a box of coloured balls
and tinsel and threw it at the tree. Mum’s does look nice though, elegant, very
Homes and Gardens.

‘Want to help?’ asked Mum.

‘Not really,’ I said, flopping on one of the sofas. I knew from past experience there wasn’t much point. She had it very clear in her head what she wanted it to look like and
I’d be bound to put a star or something in the wrong place.

‘What’s up, Izzie?’ asked Mum, putting down the tinsel and sitting on the sofa opposite me.

‘Nothing,’ I said.

‘Oh, that again,’ she smiled. ‘Nothing always gets me down as well.’

‘It’s just, I dunno, end of term and everything . . .’

‘You’re usually ecstatic at the end of term.’

‘Yeah, but you know, I dunno . . .’

Mum sat, looking at me with concern. ‘I do wish you’d talk to me, Izzie. Perhaps I can help.’

No chance, I thought. No one can help.

‘I just feel I think one thing then go and do another. Like I’ve been trying to eat healthily then I decided I could have the odd treat. Then found I was having
loads
of
treats and only the odd healthy thing. I can’t even get that right. I’m hopeless.’

‘You’re only human, Iz,’ said Mum. ‘But it’s not just that, is it?’

I shrugged.

‘Is it that boy who called?’ Mum asked.

‘Who
didn’t
call, you mean,’ I said. ‘And I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.’

‘Probably nothing. Boys can be strange creatures. Call when you don’t expect but never when you do.’

‘Tell me about it,’ I said. ‘There should be classes in all that
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
stuff. You know, we do all these classes in school but none of
it really helps. Not with real life.’

‘I know,’ said Mum. ‘I remember when I was your age, or perhaps a little older, and just getting interested in boys. All the Latin, maths and literature wasn’t much use
when I had a crush on someone.’

‘That’s just it. No one teaches you how to handle it. What to do if he phones, or doesn’t? I seem to have got it all wrong.’

Mum smiled. ‘Our school wasn’t much help either. It was a very strict convent school. At least you get some sex education these days. I remember when I was about sixteen, we were all
called into see the Mother Superior who explained about periods. “It happens to everyone, even the Virgin Mary,” she said, as if that was supposed to make us feel better. Bit late, we
all thought – some girls had started years earlier.’

I smiled. It was hard to imagine my mum as an innocent teenager, she always seemed so sure of herself.

‘And another time,’ Mum continued, ‘we had to go and see Mother Superior again. This time it was handy hints for parties. “If you’re at a party,” she said,
“and the lights go out, stand in a corner and shout at the top of your voice, I’m a Catholic!” ’

‘How was that supposed to help?’ I laughed.

‘Exactly,’ said Mum. ‘Convent girls had a bit of a reputation back then so we all thought it was hilarious. Like every boy in the room would think, Right lads, the convent
girls are in the corner. And then she told us that it was permissible to sit on a boy’s knee but only if a book the thickness of a telephone directory was put on his lap.’

By now, I had the giggles. ‘Poor you,’ I said.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. ‘I’ll get that,’ grinned Mum.

She was back a few moments later with what looked like a large box of groceries.

All the yummy Christmas food, I thought to myself. How will I ever resist?

‘Come into the kitchen,’ said Mum.

I followed her in, hoping she wasn’t going to give me a lecture on eating what I was given.

‘Ta-da!’ said Mum with a flourish as she pulled out a pizza box. ‘Look what I’ve got.’

What had come over her? She was acting really strange.

‘Look,’ she beamed. ‘Organic pizza.’ She carried on pulling out a range of goodies from the box. ‘Muesli, you like that, don’t you? Free-range eggs. Brown
rice. Wholemeal bread. Mince pies
without
beef suet. Ingredients for a nut roast for Christmas day. But best of all, ice cream made with organic chocolate, no added preservatives. Get a
spoon. Let’s try it.’

I looked in the box. She’d bought loads of fresh fruit and vegetables as well. ‘Mum, this is amazing!’

‘I know. I never knew there was such a fantastic range of organic food around now. See in my day, healthy meant tasteless. Boring. But all the shops sell organic now. And it looks great.
And after my little talk with Mr Lovering . . .’

‘Ah . . . So that’s what it was about?’

Mum nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. ‘I’ve been so worried about you, Izzie, and your strange eating fads. Mr Lovering gave me a few tips. And it’s probably about time
I changed my eating habits too. You were right. I do tend to eat on the go and grab whatever’s to hand. From now on, we eat healthy in this house.’

I went over to her and gave her a huge hug. ‘Thanks, Mum.’

‘No problem,’ she smiled and hugged me back. ‘Between us, we’ll find a balance we’re
both
happy with. We have fresh and healthy with our fruit and veg. But
we can still have our treats.’

‘Great,’ I said. ‘So where’s that organic ice cream you mentioned?’

Chapter 13

Later that day,
I went over to Nesta’s. We were having a sleepover and were going to decide what to wear for the disco the next night.

I hadn’t told them yet that I’d decided not to go.

Lucy was already there when I arrived. She was looking gorgeous in a short black skirt and a lilac crop top that she’d made. Plus she was wearing eye make-up
and
lippie. A lot of
effort for a night in, I thought, but of course to Lucy it was more than that. It was a sleepover in the same house as her boyfriend. Hmm. Should be interesting.

Nesta’s mum and dad were going to a concert in town and popped in to say goodnight before they left.

‘There’s plenty of clean bedding in the spare room for you and Lucy,’ said Mrs Williams. ‘Anything you need Nesta will find for you.’

‘Thanks, Mrs Williams,’ I said.

She looked great, all dressed up for the evening in a black velvet top and trousers. She’s very glamorous is Nesta’s mum.

‘Don’t stay up too late,’ said Nesta’s dad, coming in behind her. He’s Italian and very handsome, like a movie star. With parents as good-looking as they are,
it’s no wonder Nesta’s such a stunner.

When they’d gone, Nesta brought up the important business of choosing our outfits.

‘Fashion show, fashion show,’ said Nesta. ‘Mum got me a new dress. I can’t wait to show you.’

She disappeared for a few minutes then came back wearing a short silky silver dress with sequins round the neck. She looked fantastic, legs right up to her armpits, lucky thing.

‘You look gorgeous,’ I said. ‘Shoes?’

‘Dunno,’ said Nesta, holding up two pairs. ‘Black and strappy or these silver ones? Do you think they’re a bit summery?’

‘No, perfect for the dress,’ said Lucy. ‘Anyway, it’ll be boiling once we start dancing. What about you, Iz? What are you going to wear?’

‘Not going,’ I said.

Nesta and Lucy looked appalled.

‘What do mean, not going?’ said Nesta.

I shrugged. ‘Not in the mood.’

‘But I thought Mark said he was going?’ said Lucy.

‘He did. But he hasn’t phoned to ask if we can go together and I don’t want to bump into him and go through all that stuff again. I realised that I’ve been doing all the
running. No, if he wants to see me, he can make an effort.’

‘Quite right,’ said Nesta. ‘But I don’t see why you should miss the disco because of him.’

‘You’ve got to come, Iz,’ said Lucy. ‘I thought you wanted to see King Noz play. You can ignore Mark if he’s there. And we’ll be there. Me and
Nesta.’

I wasn’t convinced. ‘Anyway, I’ve got nothing to wear. What are you wearing, Lucy?’

‘I made something specially,’ she said. Lucy is a real whiz on the sewing machine. She’s made me and Nesta tops in the past and they’re really fantastic,
professional-looking. ‘You’ll see tomorrow – it’s a surprise.’

‘Please come, Izzie,’ begged Nesta. ‘It won’t be the same without you and remember what we said about not letting a boy come between us.’

I did remember. And she was right. I was letting it all get to me again. Running around, trying to bump into him accidentally-on-purpose hadn’t worked. Neither had all that waiting in for
the phone. Maybe cutting off and hiding away wouldn’t work either? Oh why couldn’t it be simple? Then I thought, why
should
I let Mark ruin my Christmas? So he didn’t
phone. I’d had enough of letting him affect my moods.

‘I suppose I could come for an hour or so,’ I said.

‘Fantastic,’ said Lucy, then grinned mysteriously. ‘Anyway, I brought something for us to try tonight. Just up your street, Izzie, to get you in the party mood.’

Half an hour later I found myself standing in front of the mirror in Nesta’s bedroom while she and Lucy coached me from Nesta’s bed.

‘Again,’ demanded Lucy. ‘Again, but try to make it more convincing. Try and
feel
the words.’

The mystery ‘something’ was one of her mum’s self-help books on affirmations.

‘Just what you need,’ said Lucy before we got started. ‘You say the affirmations over and over again until your mind starts to believe what you’re saying and it becomes
real for you.’

She and Nesta had pored through the book until finally they picked one for me.

‘Say it again,’ said Lucy.

I straightened my shoulders. ‘I am full of joy,’ I intoned to the gloomy face looking back out at me. ‘I
am
full of joy.’

Nesta shook her head. ‘Yeah, looks like it.’

I slumped back on to the bed next to her. ‘Sorry, girls, I did try.’

‘Maybe it’s not the right affirmation for you,’ said Lucy, going back to her book. It was called
Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts.

‘OK, read me some of the others,’ I said. I knew she was trying to be helpful. The least I could do was go along with it.

‘I’m light, I’m bright, I’ve got it right.
Nah, that’s not appropriate.’ She flicked the pages.

‘Try another,’ said Nesta.

‘I’m slim and healthy, successful and wealthy,’
read Lucy.

‘You do that one, Nesta,’ I said.

Nesta stood up and went to the mirror. ‘I’m slim and healthy, successful and wealthy. I’m slim and healthy, successful and wealthy. Is there one for what to do with big
feet?’

I found a new page. ‘How about this one?
To find repose I relax to my toes.
No? OK. Pooh to that. Try
I am feeling warm and mild, cradling my inner child
.’

‘Oh yerghhhh. No thanks,’ cried Nesta. ‘Vomitous!’

‘No, no, don’t give up,’ I said, getting into it. ‘Oh, here’s one for me. Perfect, in the self-esteem section.
I am a perfect size, I have beautiful thighs.
Or
Everyone knows, I love my nose
.’

Nesta and I cracked up laughing.

Lucy grabbed the book from me and flicked through the pages again. ‘How do you expect to change your lives when you keep laughing? Here, try this, Iz:
I affirm that now I can, attract
the perfect man.
Come on, stand up and say it to your reflection.’