Max (A Carter Brother series Book 4) (40 page)

“Different,’’ I whisper, sad for my best friend. She has a long way to go before she finally moves on. It’s hard to know what it is exactly holding her back. It seemed her parents are a big issue for her. “We talked a lot. She doesn’t blame us, not like her mum. She said her mum is just being overprotective.’’

“I blame me,’’ Cowen admits, a sadness I’ve not heard from him yet creeping into his tone.

“No! No, Cowen. It’s Darren that attacked her, not you. Don’t you dare put that blame on your shoulders,’’ I tell him sternly, giving him a warning look. He has enough to deal with.

“But I got drugs.’’

“Yeah, but did you sell them? Did you force them on anyone? Did you keep selling them when you knew they weren’t legit?’’

“No. No. Just buy. Not sell. Promise.’’

“Well, then,’’ I tell him like that’s the answer. “She’s talking about leaving, wanting to start fresh at a new college,’’ I tell him, hoping it doesn’t get back to her mum. She said she hadn’t spoken to her about it. She’s waiting for the go ahead from the colleges before she brings it up with them. She doesn’t want them to talk her out of it.

“Marybeth told me she done a little better now,’’ he says sadly.

“I didn’t see her before, when it happened, but I can only imagine how bad it was if today was any indication to go by. She looked so ill. She didn’t look like Emma whatsoever. It was sad. Really sad,’’ I admit, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

“She’s strong. Always... Always... Always will be,’’ he struggles to get out.

“Yeah,’’ I whisper, knowing my friend really is strong. She’s the strongest person I know. Stronger than me. I ran away from my problems, she stayed and fought. We both stay silent, lost in each other’s thoughts, when I broach the subject I’m most concerned over. “Are Mum and Dad mad at me?’’ I ask, thinking how I went out without telling them where I was going or who I was with, just that I was out. Then there’s the whole ignoring them when I walked in earlier.

“No. But they have secrets hiding,’’ he whispers conspicuously.

Leaning up on my elbows I look over to him to find he’s deadly serious. Why would they be keeping secrets?

“What do you mean? What secrets?’’ I ask, feeling kind of panicked all of a sudden. I mean, it’s not like them to keep secrets from either Cowen or me, but it could be another thing that has changed over the past year. They’ve always been upfront about everything going on in their lives and have raised us to be the same.

Like the time sex first got brought up when I was with Darren. I went straight to my mum, asking for advice. It’s not like she could get mad. She had always said to go to them with anything, no matter what it was and that they’d never get angry with us as long as we told the truth.

I clear my head and eye Cowen when he stays quiet. He rolls his eyes, his expression of one annoyed.

Great! Now I’m annoying my brother. What else can I do wrong?

“Duh! That’s why it’s called a...a, it’s called a secret. And I’m the one supposed to be... to be... dump...no...brain dumb...damaged.’’

I smack his shoulder, not impressed with his attempt at joking. “But
how
do you know?’’

“I heard them talking, whispering. Mum was crying. But she nodded her head,’’ he shrugs. “Oh, but she smiled when she wrote on paper.’’

Flopping back down on the bed, I begin to conjure up a million and one possibilities of what’s going on. They have been acting strange since I returned, always seeming on edge and I have to admit, now Cowen has brought it up, I swear they were whispering the other night before I walked in and interrupted.

My thoughts have me wondering if I’m the reason they’re so sad. Am I making them unhappy? Should I leave again? My eyes water with every passing thought, frustrating the hell out of me.

A small knock on the door causes me to jump. I’m so used to Cowen barging in that when the door does bloody knock it scares the shit out of me.

“Lake, sweetie, can I come in? I’d like to talk to you,’’ Mum calls through the door.

“Yeah, come in,’’ I rush out, sitting up in my bed and straightening my wrinkled clothing nervously. Then I realise how ridiculous I’m being and I inwardly roll my eyes.

Cowen sits up too, looking wide eyed at the door like he wasn’t expecting Mum to turn up at my door. Mum notices him the second she walks in and gives him a pointed look.

The poor lad has gone awfully pale. I actually feel kind of sorry for him, especially with the annoyed expression Mum is pointing his way.

“I thought you were too sick to eat dinner, mister?’’

“I am,’’ he coughs, blatantly faking. “Okayyy,’’ he whines. “I’ll go eat dinner.’’

Getting up from the bed, making as much fuss and noise as possible, Cowen finally stomps his way to the door. While Mum keeps her attention on me I keep my eyes on Cowen, my lips twitching at his juvenile behaviour. He stops once he gets to the door and turns, sticking his tongue out behind Mum’s back.

“I’ll cut that out,’’ Mum sings, causing me to giggle. I swear the woman has eyes at the back of her head. She’s always been like this. No matter what we were doing she’d know like she could sense we were up to no good.

“Dad,’’ Cowen shouts, stepping out of the room. “Mum’s going to... She said she’s going to cut my tongue out.’’

There’s a moment of silence before Dad’s voice booms up the stairs. “You should keep it in your mouth then, boy.’’

“No! Marybeth likes my tongue...’’ Cowen starts as he walks away.

Completely grossed out, I cover my ears. “La la la la la la.’’

“Cowen,’’ Mum gasps turning towards the door.

“Cowen,’’ Marybeth’s unamused voice calls from downstairs and Cowen’s head snaps back to mine, wide and scared. He’s down the hall now but even from my bedroom I can see the regretful look on his expression.

“I shouldn’t have said that out loud?’’ he asks, looking so guilty it’s cute.

“Nope,’’ I call back, pronouncing the P with a pop. My cheeks ache, hurting from grinning so wide.

“No shit!’’ he groans before I watch his shoulders slump, his chin falling against his chest. Mum and I watch as he takes the first step downstairs, both of us amused at his expression. He looks like he’s about to face death and not his little, midget girlfriend.

Mum snaps me back to the present when she walks over to the door and shuts it. I gulp, wondering if I’m in trouble. It would explain why my dad isn’t joining my mum. He could never tell us no or tell us off. Mum, however, had no problem with discipline and was like a dragon when either of us stepped out of line.

“I’m sorry for sneaking off again,’’ I blurt out. It’s the only reason that would explain why she’s so upset with me.

She waves me off looking unsure. “You’re an adult, Lake. But thank you for putting our minds at rest and leaving the note on the fridge this morning. I’m pretty sure you took ten years off mine and your father’s lives the other day,’’ she smiles.

“Okayyy,’’ I say slowly, my mind coming up blank with any other possibilities. She must read the confusion on my expression because she steps forward, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“I want to talk to you about something else, something important. But I need you to hear me out before jumping to conclusions.’’

“What is it?’’ I ask, sitting up straighter, my attention focused solely on my mum and what she’s about to talk to me about. My heart is going crazy, my stomach fluttering with nerves.

“I don’t even know where to start,’’ she admits nervously, wringing her hands in her lap. “We know you don’t want to be here...’’

I cut her off, my voice sharp. “I do.’’ My eyes widen and the fear of letting them believe I don’t want to be here makes me feel sick. I never want them to think that.

“Calm down and listen,’’ she tells me gently, rolling her eyes. “We know you don’t want to be here but you also don’t want to be away from us. Your father and I got talking and we’ve decided to let you go...’’

I don’t hear much else. The constant ringing in my ears doesn’t let me register anything else coming from her.

All I can think of is her words.

We’re letting you go
.

The last place on earth I expected to be again was at a strip club, this time not because of a hen party. Men’s beady eyes follow me as I make my way to the bar. I can feel their eyes on every inch of my body like a physical touch, making me feel seedy and dirty.

Arriving at the end of the bar, waiting for the chick working behind the bar to notice me, I don’t expect to be noticed hidden away. But when the stench of stale beer fills the space surrounding me, causing me to gag a little, I sigh.

“How much for a lap dance, darlin’?’’

I turn my head to the slime ball and scrunch my face up in disgust. The man looks like he’s been in here a while,
after
partying in a dump for the night. His clothes look a mess: all wrinkled with unknown stains on them. His hair is messy, unkempt, along with his demeanour.

I open my mouth to give him a piece of my mind when a deep, scratchy voice interrupts me from behind.

“She’s with me.’’

Turning around, a genuine smile reaches my face and I dive forward, throwing myself around the huge beast. My arms wrap around his neck and I breathe him in, my excitement doubling at the familiar scent.

“Maverick,’’ I whisper, feeling my throat clog up with emotion.

“Lake,’’ he rumbles, pulling away with a huge grin on his face. “It’s about goddamn time, girl.’’

Maverick and I have exchanged text messages since the day I left. If it wasn’t for him or his texts I don’t know what I would have done. We’ve become extremely close and I only wish we had sooner because the guy is one of a kind. He’s awesome.

I roll my eyes at him playfully, still grinning. “Marybeth is a slow driver.’’

“Where are they?’’ he asks, referring to my brother and Marybeth.

“They’ve popped out for lunch,’’ I smile and let him lead me out of the club. For a second I forgot where I was and that there were naked women a few feet from me. So as soon as we step into the cool hallway I sag with relief.

As we walk to his office my mind goes back to the day my life changed.

Mum didn’t explain herself the first time very well. They weren’t letting me go per se, just letting me go for the time being.

You see, it turns out Mum and Dad liked Coldenshire on their visit. They loved how Max and his brothers let Cowen in and that they all seemed genuinely sad to see him go.

It wasn’t just about Cowen and his ability to make friends. They enjoyed being there, the places, the opportunities, and the area in general.

But then there was me. They knew how unhappy I was becoming and could see how much missing them was tearing me up inside. I hadn’t meant to let my feelings show and believed I was hiding it well. Obviously not. Mum explained that until I had everyone I loved around me they wouldn’t truly have their Lake back.

But as much as they were doing it for me and for Cowen, they were also doing it for themselves. Dad would get more work contracts being a self employed carpet fitter in such a huge place. Back home the place was small and he lost money whenever he had to travel out for work. Mum, however, worked at the local doctor’s surgery but she said leaving her job wouldn’t be anything to cry over. They had been thinking awhile about all of this, even before the accident happened apparently.

It was Joan, though, that brought it all up again. They were having a conversation when Joan asked Mum when they were expected back in Coldenshire.

When it came about that they’d have to leave soon, Joan had mentioned it was a shame they couldn’t move to Coldenshire. That she and the rest of the family would enjoy having them around. I’m still unsure if Joan thought I’d be staying or if she knew I’d leave and was trying to persuade
them
to stay. I guess I’ll have to ask her when I get five minutes alone with her.

When we got back, Mum and Dad noticed I was withdrawing more and more and by the third day they had a talk about what they were going to do. With the option of moving already up in the air, they both agreed. The only thing that stopped them moving before was because they wanted to be there for when I returned. They didn’t want me to come back only to find out that they had moved away without me.

The papers that Cowen saw Mum sign were for our house to be put on the market. And the reason she was crying was because she overheard me and Marybeth talking. Mum and I talked for hours that night, Dad joining us when he realised there wasn’t going to be any tears or cat fights. Marybeth and Cowen joined but stayed silent since both had already agreed. So they basically sat there listening to me trying to find any doubts in my parents’ minds.

Dad had insisted that it was just a house, that wherever Cowen and I were would be a home. Everything else was just stuff. They wanted us all to be happy and a new start is what we all needed. I even had to talk to Marybeth about it all because, out of us all, it was her moving away from her family. She seemed really excited about the move, reassuring me her parents and brother were only a few hours away.

Which is how I ended up here in V.I.P. I had texted Maverick the news straight away, followed by Joan. They both promised to keep it to themselves as I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just in case something went wrong. In all honestly, a part of me wanted to keep it quiet so I had time to think of what I was going to say to Max. That time, it didn’t help any. I still have no idea how to approach him or what to say, which is another reason why I’m here with Maverick, and not at the house.

Joan has offered Mark’s house for us to crash at while Mum and Dad sort everything out back home. They need to pack up, organise all the bills and whatever else they need to do. Luckily, they had already found a house for us to move into, five minutes around the corner from Joan’s. They were just waiting for the mortgage to be approved.

“Have you been back to the house?’’ Maverick asks, a worried look crossing his features, causing my stomach to sink. He hides his reaction pretty quickly, handing me a bottle of water.

I take a seat on the couch in his office, trying my hardest not to look in the direction of his desk. Having dirty images flash through my mind about the night Max took me over Maverick’s desk is really not appropriate right now. Mostly it would be embarrassing so let’s not go there.

“No, I’m too nervous. No, scratch that, I’m scared as fuck,’’ I admit, taking a swig of my water.

“Have you figured out what you’re going to say to him?’’

“Nope, I’m just going to wing it,’’ I tell him, chuckling softly.

“I guess all those messages were pointless then,’’ he tells me dryly.

I chuckle for real that time. Poor man. I made him act out the conversation via text messaging and let’s just say, it wasn’t fun for Maverick. The poor man didn’t know whether I was serious or if I was acting out a scenario. I really went crazy on him.

“Yes, you were right. I should just say what comes to my mind.’’

“Probably not good to mention the dick amputation,’’ he says dryly, covering his own junk with his bottled water.

Okay, so I took my little acting scenarios a little too far. But in all fairness I’m bound to get mad at Max at some point or another and, let’s be honest, I’m going to threaten bodily harm after what he did to me.

“He humiliated me in front of everyone,’’ I snap defensively.

He cringes. “I know, but he’s sorry and he’s hurting too.’’

My body slumps and I feel saddened at the thought of Max hurting; the same Max who could make a stone laugh.

“Is he at home? That’s where I’ll go next I suppose. I just wanted to come check in with you first, make sure this is still a good idea,’’ I start, then stand up when the nerves I thought I had banished earlier that day resurface. “What if he’s over me or he’s moved on? Are you sure he didn’t sleep with bimbo one and two? This isn’t a good idea. I should call my parents, tell them we can’t move here and that there’s a plague or something going around. Yeah, I’ll do that.’’

Strong hands grab me at my shoulders, stopping me from wearing the carpet out and from grabbing my phone.

“Stop! You’re over thinking this. Stop worrying so much. It’s going to work out just fine. And what have I told you? It’s Max that should be sorry, not you.’’

“But I left him,’’ I choke out, my eyes watering. “You said it yourself, everyone has left him one way or another.’’

“This is different and as far as I can see, he pushed you away and you still came back,’’ he smiles sadly, wiping my tears with the pad of his thumbs.

“What if he hates me? I love him, Maverick, I love him so much and I never, not once, ever believed love like this existed. He infuriates me to no end, makes me madder than all hell, but he also makes me laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed. He knows how to cheer me up when I’m down, knows exactly what I need even when I don’t. And that’s just half of it. The way he makes me feel,’’ I sigh dreamily, my mind lost on everything that is Max Carter. “He acts dumb but deep down he’s one of the smartest people I know. It’s all an act. And under all that tough act exterior he’s all heart. I love how he is with Hope and isn’t afraid to show it. I’ve gone through life knowing Cowen is the other half of me, we’re twins, but Max, he’s the other half of my soul, the other half of my heart. It may sound crazy to some, but not to me, not anymore. Loving him is like an adrenaline rush, it’s the best experience of my life. Sometimes, when I really let myself feel what I feel for him, I’m scared I’m going to explode. If he hated me, or didn’t return my feelings, where does that leave me? Where does all that build up of love and all that adrenaline go? What will happen to me once all that he makes me feel explodes?’’

Realising I just laid myself completely bare in front of Maverick, I duck my head in shame. He probably thinks I’m some crazy chick and is thinking of ways to warn Max away from me. I wouldn’t blame him. Trying to explain the tightness inside my chest when I think of Max, it makes me crazy.

“Hey,’’ he says, using his fist to bump my chin up so that I have no other choice but to look at him. “He’s a lucky fucking guy, Lake. There’s no doubt in my mind that he doesn’t love you as much as you love him. He’s never been one to let people in and doesn’t love easily, but when he does, he loves with his whole heart. I just wish I had someone to love like my brothers do. Because they’re all better men for it, but unfortunately, it’s something I’ll never have.’’

He says this so seriously, so adamantly, that I’m stunned silent for a second, forgetting what we were originally talking about. “How can you think you’ll never have it?’’ I ask, pushing aside my Max problem for a second.

“Long story,’’ he says, shaking the dark look that flashes in his eyes. The hurt, anger, sorrow and misery disappears just as quickly as it appears, it’s heartbreaking. “Right now you need to go tell him you’re back.’’

“Is anyone else at home with him?’’ I ask, when I really want to keep pushing the issue over Maverick’s love life more. If anyone deserves to be loved and to love, it’s him. He’s one hell of a catch and has seen and done so much in his life already. He already acts as if he’s in his late forties and not in his twenties, the guy really does need to find love.

“Nah, I’ll be glad when you get him off the couch. He promised me four days ago he’d clean up his act but all he’s done is mope around the house all day in his boxers. I’m getting sick of it. So when you’ve sorted everything out, can you remind him he promised to interview some tenants for the apartment upstairs for me.’’

“I will,’’ I chuckle, grabbing my handbag. “Wish me luck,’’ I breathe in.

“You don’t need luck,’’ he smiles, punching my arm lightly. “Now go. I have work to do,’’ he says seriously, in mock fury. I laugh, grabbing the door, opening it wide.

“I’ll see you later.’’

“You too, darling,’’ he smiles, sitting down at his desk. “Oh, and take the back door, I don’t want you walking through the club when it’s open.’’

“Trust me, I would have found a way to get out of here without stepping foot back in there. Even if I had to climb out of a window,’’ I laugh, waving him off. Walking down the corridor I follow the signs for the exit, ones I vaguely remember seeing from the hen party. The whole place looks different compared to that night, so when I do find the exit I sigh with relief.

My phone rings as I step outside and Mum’s name flashes on the screen. A smile lights up my face and a giddy feeling erupts in my stomach like it does every time something small like that happens in my life. It’s just another reminder that I have them back.

“Hey, Mum,’’ I greet, walking down the alley way so I’m back at the front entrance of MC5. The town is bustling for five in the evening: people rushing to get last minute stuff before the stores close. I make my way over to the taxi rank, joining the long line.

“Hey, honey, just calling to update you on the progress,’’ she says and I hear the smile in her voice.

“Mum, I left four hours ago,’’ I laugh, cringing when rain begins to splatter. I manage to get my hood up without dropping my phone which I’m grateful for.

“I know, but we just had the best news. The bank called and the mortgage for the new property has been cleared. We’ll need you to grab the keys from the estate agent and check the place out and tell us what we’ll need like carpets, decorating etc. They close at half five,’’ she tells me and I sigh, disappointed that I’ll have to put off seeing Max for a little while longer.