Max (A Carter Brother series Book 4) (37 page)

“Not funny,’’ I grumble, my lips twitching.

“We had to do something. You look like you’ve got a stick up your ass,’’ Max says ever-so politely.

“She whips you?’’ Cowen whispers, moving his chair away from Joan’s general direction.

We all laugh then, the mood light and carefree. Marybeth explains the joke to Cowen but he still keeps one eye trained on Joan, watching for any sudden movements. I swear, every now and then he’ll jump when he see’s Joan move, looking afraid that Joan will grab a whip out of her back pocket and whip his ass. It’s hysterical.

The rest of the dinner is pretty much everyone stuffing their faces and chatting mindlessly about anything and everything. It’s one of the best days of my life.

Everyone is finished when my dad clears his throat. Turning my head I notice he’s shifting uncomfortably in his chair, looking like he’d rather be somewhere else.

“Dad?’’ I call nervously, wondering what’s on his mind.

“We need to talk to you about a few things. We just need you to know it wasn’t our intention to keep anything from you,’’ Dad chokes out, looking to my mum for help.

“Mum?’’ I ask her, my voice pleading. My body heats, trembles raking through my body as I anxiously wait for her to answer. She looks to my dad before looking my way again, her eyes softening when she sees my panic stricken expression.

“What your dad is trying to say is that we were going to tell you. It’s just, we’ve only just got you back. We didn’t want to be a bearer of bad news.’’

“Emma,’’ Cowen blurts out, then looks down at the table shamefully. Marybeth rubs his back affectionately and I sit up straighter in my seat, my eyes watering.

“What about Emma?’’ I choke out and I hear Kayla gasp from the other side of my mother. I know she’s thinking the worst, the same as me, after all, she knows what it’s like to lose her best friend. Max filled me in on some of what happened but Kayla filled me in the most about Charlie, Kayla’s best friend, and the heart condition that she suffered with before she passed away from complications.

“After the accident, Darren, he um, he kind of lost it. It was the same night everything happened. It was Banner that found her before it got too far,’’ she tells me.

“What do you mean? What did he do?’’ I plead. My fingers bruise from digging my nails into the wooden chair but it’s the only thing keeping me grounded.

“He attacked her,’’ Cowen says, looking at me with sad eyes.

“But she’s okay?’’ I ask, not believing something has happened. Not to Emma. Not when she lost her sister not long before.

“Yes, she’s okay now... kind of. Darren attacked her, he tried to...’’ my dad starts to explain.

“I get it,’’ I tell him quickly, not wanting to hear the word ‘rape’. All I want to do is get in a shower I feel that dirty. I loved him or I thought I did. I gave myself to him and never realised just how sick he was. The drug dealing thing I could move on from, but this... This is something that I blame myself for. I taunted Darren the night of the accident, I told him we knew and that Emma was going to the police. How many lives have I destroyed? I shake my head, a few tears falling free.

“She’s okay, but she wasn’t for a while. She wouldn’t leave the house or let anyone in to see her. She’s attending a community college near home for now but she still needs a lot of support.’’

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’’ I whisper. I feel bad that the past few days I’ve enjoyed being around my family, happy to know I didn’t tear us apart or lose my brother. When all along I did ruin someone’s life, it just wasn’t who I thought it was.

“We wanted to tell you at the right time. We wanted you to be surrounded by the people you love,’’ Mum tells me softly.

It’s then the silence in the room becomes too much and I look around the table giving everyone a small smile.

“I can talk to her soon,’’ I nod, needing to make all this right, and honestly, not wanting to talk about it in front of everyone. I don’t need them to know how much of a failure I really am.

Not only had my brother needed me by his side, but my best friend had also. God, she must have suffered. Then something occurs to me. “What happened to Darren?’’

“He was arrested, put on trial and got found guilty. He got five years,’’ Dad fills in.

“For good behaviour he gets two,’’ Cowen snorts, his jaw clenched. I know his pain. Even though Emma was my best friend, she was also close with Cowen and even admitted to having a crush on him a time or two. Nothing she’d ever play on. She valued our friendship and knew being with my brother would ruin that. Back then he never stayed with a girl long. He usually got what he wanted and moved on. If he did that to Emma it would have caused tension at home and I’d most likely lose my friend because of it.

“I hope he stays there,’’ I bite out.

“Hopefully his parents can only afford soap,’’ Max adds, lightening the mood. We all laugh, Cowen chuckling louder than the rest of us.

“You said a few things?’’ I tell Dad while everyone begins conversations: filling the silence.

“Yeah. We’ve got to go back tomorrow. We want you to come with us,’’ he tells me and my heart stops. I knew there would be a time they’d have to leave but I didn’t want to process it. How could I? I have a life here, a new family, but I also don’t want to lose my real family now that I have them back.

“I don’t...’’ I shake my head, looking to Max for answers. His eyes are on me and I know from the sadness flashing in his eyes that he heard everything my dad just said.

I have to admit, a huge part of me wants to stay because of him. He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself and he’s also been through a lot, he doesn’t need another woman in his life leaving. But not only that, I can’t picture my life without him in it. We’ve spent nearly every moment together since I moved in. Losing him would be like losing Cowen at this point. That’s how close we’ve become.

My dad’s expression falls when I stay silent and my mum’s hand grips my leg under the table. I know they’ll let me stay if I asked, but I also know it would kill them. I’ve missed out on so much already. But they don’t know how much Joan and her family have done for me. Everything here feels right. But if they leave, it won’t. Either way I don’t win. I’ll be losing someone who means the world to me.

“What time do you have to leave?’’ Max asks my dad, his expression changing. It’s not his normal light, carefree face. His face has hardened a touch and his eyes have turned cold.

“We need to leave before midday,’’ Dad answers.

“You should go,’’ Max tells me, nodding his head. “You’ve finally got your family back. You should stay with them.’’

“But...’’ I start, but his expression has me shutting my mouth, my eyes watering.

“But what? When I called them I knew you’d leave with them. Have you not thought of that before now? I’ve got to meet Lindsey tomorrow around half eleven, so it works out perfectly. I won’t get accused of anything.’’

“Jackie?’’ I ask, my voice laced with hurt. Why is he doing this to me? I don’t understand.

“Yeah,’’ he smirks, leaning forward on his elbows. “She’s a chick I met at Antonio’s. Hot piece. Big jugs,’’ he tells me, his eyes cold and distant. This isn’t the Max I know.

“Max,’’ Maverick warns, moving back in his chair.

“What?’’ Max asks, looking offended, a huge smile on his face, although it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“You know what,’’ Maverick snaps back; his voice louder.

“Why are you doing this?’’ I ask him, moving my chair back ready to escape. I look around and although everyone avoids my eyes the humiliation of what Max is doing still hits me, my cheeks heating in embarrassment.

“How else am I going to get rid of you? I’ve lost my player status since you arrived,’’ he snarls yet a flash of hurt and regret flickers in his eyes.

“That’s enough,’’ Dad snaps, beginning to look red. His hands are clenched into fists on the table but my mother’s soothing voice calling his name relaxes him.

“Sorry, sir, but she needs to know she has to go. I can see love hearts in her eyes like a poxy emoji and I’d hate for her to lose you again because I’m awesome,’’ he snickers.

“Max. Don’t do this, please,’’ I beg, not understanding why he’s pushing me away.

“Do what? Tell you the truth,’’ he laughs, his head thrown back.

“Max, get the fuck out now!’’ Maverick roars, slamming his cup down on the table. I’m surprised it didn’t smash.

“Why?’’ Max asks cockily. My brother next to him is fuming, his eyes narrowed angrily up at Max. Marybeth is trying to calm him down. Seeing everyone like this is making everything that is already happening worse. Devastation and betrayal hit me in full force and I have to take in a deep breath to try and calm down.

“You’re going to regret ever saying any of this in the morning. You don’t mean it. Stop being a jerk and let Lake make up her own mind.’’

“For fuck’s sake, she already made up her mind. Everyone leaves, brother, you should know. You were good at it,’’ Max snarls and Maverick looks like he’s been hit with a sledge hammer and the hurt that washes across his face has me wondering what Max meant. “I’m doing her a favour. I’m not the bad fucking guy here. Fuck it. I’m going to meet Lindsey. I’ll see you assholes in the morning,’’ Max snaps before rushing out the room.

The room goes completely silent as I sit at the table with tears running down my face, my heart hurting painfully at Max’s departing words twist the knife he already stabbed in my heart.

“Lake,’’ Mum whispers, her hand on my thigh rubbing gently.

Snapping out of it, I jump up from my seat. “I best go pack then,’’ I mutter before rushing out of the room.

In my room I head straight for my phone, praying Max has sent me a text message saying it was all a lie and that he was joking or he didn’t mean any of it. When there’s nothing I sink down on my bed and burst into tears. I grip my chest letting the pain consume me as a strangled sob breaks free from my throat. For the first time in a while I let the pain consume me, feeling everything enough for it to break me, my body falling limply onto the bed from exhaustion.

Not much time passes, maybe twenty minutes at the most, before someone comes knocking on my door. I half expected someone to come up and check on me but I guessed they’d have come sooner.

“Go away,’’ I sniffle, not wanting anyone to see how humiliated I’m feeling right now. It would just be another knife to the chest.

Max deliberately caused that scene downstairs, knowing what it would do to me and how I would feel. He didn’t care either way. It has me wondering, though, if he had planned to do what he did all along. He didn’t seem to hesitate or mull over what he was going to say next, it all came out naturally like a rehearsed speech.

The door opens even after I protested, telling them to go away. I’m about to ream out whoever’s brave enough to go against my wishes but when I’m met with Maverick’s dark, nearly black, eyes staring back at me, I’m startled into silence.

Out of everyone Maverick is the last person I would have guessed to be the one coming to check up on me. We’ve never really spoken. He’s given me more dirty looks than the girls at the church food bank.

I’ve not really seen him since Denny’s hen party. From what I overheard Mark telling Joan last week, Maverick has something going down at V.I.P and it’s causing him stress.

“Hi,’’ I whisper, wiping tears from my eyes and my runny nose along the sleeve of my t-shirt.

“How are ya feelin’?’’ he asks me gently, stepping further into the room and taking a seat on the end of my bed.

“Oh, I’m fine. Not like Max didn’t just rip my heart out in front of everyone I care about,’’ I bite out sarcastically. My body sags immediately for talking so rudely to him when he’s just checking up on me. “I’m sorry.’’

“It’s fine,’’ he tells me gently, his eyes staring at me intently, searching for what, I don’t know. Shifting on my bed, I avoid his intense stare. I’ve always been intimidated by Maverick. Out of all the brothers he seems to have a dark edge to him, something cold and dark lurking behind those dark brown eyes of his. It actually reminds me of when I first met him and I thought his eyes were black. God, how long ago that was now?

“It’s not,’’ I whisper after a few awkward moments of silence.

“You do know he didn’t mean any of what he said down there, don’t you? He’s just scared, as much as it would pain him to admit,’’ he tells me and my eyes reach his. Looking at him closely I can tell he genuinely believes what he said. It doesn’t matter, though. Max can’t take back what he did or said to me. It’s engraved in my mind, playing over and over like a broken fucking record.

“Didn’t he? Want to bet he’s already with
Lindsey
right now?’’ I bite out, my face scrunched up in pain. “I thought I meant something to him,’’ I tell Maverick without meaning to. It just slipped out. But I meant every word. I did believe I meant something to him. I thought we shared something special.

“Deep down I think you know how much you really mean to him. You’re just angry and upset right now. He knew you’d be leaving.’’

“How? I didn’t even know until he made the choice for me. And why do you care? You’ve always seemed wary of me.’’