Maya And The Tough Guy (17 page)

“They tumbled onto her bed, rolling over and over until he was on top. He shoved her skirts up and sheathed his engorged member in her wet, silky folds.
”

Jayce watched her in awe. Her cheeks flushed as she read the ridiculously over-descriptive sex scene, but she was so intense about it. She even gripped his thigh as she read.

“
As they lay there in the afterglow of their passion,
” she read, “
Cecilia gave her heart to Reginald, knowing that even though she would share a marriage bed with another man, she would only truly belong to this one.
” Maya closed the book and held it to her heart. “Isn’t that just beautiful?” she asked, her eyes wide and honest.
 

It wasn’t beautiful. It was sentimental crap, but if it made Maya happy, then Jayce was willing to declare it the greatest literature of all time. “Yeah,” he said. “Beautiful. Kind of sad, too.”

“Oh, don’t worry. She runs away with him in the end and they live happily ever after.”

She was still hugging the book, a dreamy, far off look in her eyes. She’d used this book and others like it to escape her painful existence. It hurt so much to think of her alone and in pain. He’d lived in this same town, not five minutes drive from her house, all these years. He’d pined over her all these years. If only she’d called him, he would have gone to her house, knocked Damon flat on his ass, and taken her and the kids away.
 

But she’d never known of his feelings. She still didn’t. Jayce watched her for another moment, holding his breath. Then he let it out. “I’ll read it right this time,” he said, reaching for the book.

She let him take it, and then she lay down alongside him, resting her cheek in the crook of his shoulder, her hand on his belly. He read out loud, not laughing this time. Page after page of smut, but smut that she’d wanted to share with him. Page after page of a world she’d invited him into, a world where she’d once found peace. He read until he heard a very soft, very quiet snore.
 

Craning his neck, he saw that she was asleep. Her lips were parted slightly and puffed out on each exhale. Jayce closed the book, sat it on the nightstand, and turned off the lamp. He managed to adjust himself and her to a more comfortable position. Then he wriggled out of the towel, which was too uncomfortable to sleep in, and pulled the comforter over them both.
 

He doubted he would sleep, holding the object of his affection at peace in his arms for the first time in his life, but he closed his eyes anyway.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The first tendrils of consciousness seeped through Maya in the blue, pre-dawn light. Her very first awarenesses were physical and primal. First there was heat and flesh next to her, against her. Then there was fire and need within her…desire for the heat and flesh next to her.
 

Jayce.

It was the only thought in her higher intellect. It was as though her body so desperately craved this one thing that her mind only had enough power to put a name to it.
 

Jayce.

Mine

She peeled her nightshirt off, hating that the thin fabric was separating her from him. Beneath the cover, she kicked off her panties and then slid on top of him and rubbed her breasts up and down his chest. Her hair fell alongside her face and stuck to her lips, but she could only think of this one thing, this one need, this one food for her desires.
 

He was fully erect, though only just now stirring. Maya slid onto him—something she’d been so terrified of, something she’d feared she’d never be able to do again—she did it like it was nothing. His thickness filled her, stretched her, and made the ache of need explode like wildfire.

Jayce awoke like a dying man coming to life, with a gasp of air and an arch of his back. “Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!” he cried.
 

Maya fisted her hands in his hair. “It’s okay,” she said. “Open your eyes.”

He did, taking forever to focus. Maya moved up and down, back and forth, grinding her clit against him, drawing out her own pleasure, feeding off his desperate moans and touches. His hands grappled at her as though struggling to find a good hold. She grabbed them and guided them to the bed posts, which he gripped until his knuckles turned white.

“No,” he gasped. “Please let me touch you.”

“I like it this way.” Maya sat up, her hands braced on his abs, and swirled her hips.
 

Suddenly his hips thrust upward, nearly bucking her off, and before she knew it, he was in control, even in this submissive position. Now she was the one grappling for a hold. She finally fell forward, her hands fisting in the blankets on either side of his shoulders as he slammed into her faster and harder.

“Maya!” he cried. “Condom.”

“Don’t stop,” she gasped. “Don’t you fucking dare stop.”

He cursed, cried out, and came inside of her. Maya took back control as he was coming and finished herself off with two more thrusts. She fell forward, dug her nails into his shoulders, and sobbed through an orgasm ten times more intense than she’d ever had before.
 

At last she collapsed on top of him and waited for his arms to come around her. When they didn’t, she remembered that she hadn’t given him permission. “Hold me,” she whispered.

His arms went around her. “I brought condoms,” he muttered.

“I’m on the pill.”

His muscles relaxed, some. Sweat cooled between their trembling bodies. She felt Jayce pull the blanket back over them. It must have gotten kicked off. Jayce’s fingertips trailed up and down her spine, and Maya found she couldn’t stop smiling.

“It was better this way,” she said softly. “Barely conscious, acting only on my urges.”

“I would like to be here every time you’re barely conscious.” His voice was raspy and…tense.
 

“That was easily the best sex I’ve ever had,” Maya murmured.

“It’ll always be good with me, Maya.”

At first she thought it was a cocky thing to say. But then she realized that he meant sex would always be better with him than with Damon. “Because you’ll never hurt me?” she asked softly.

“Never as long as I’m alive.”

The morning light was gradually brightening, but it was still so early, Maya wasn’t ready to leave the bed. “It’s encouraging to know that there are men like you out there,” she said. “Maybe I won’t have to be alone forever.”

He didn’t say anything. It wouldn’t have been unusual…there were lots of times when he remained silent. But this silence felt different. It felt like it was holding a secret. Jayce’s arms tightened around her and she realized he was holding his breath.

“Or, I guess I could just fool around with you forever,” she said.

Even his laugh was wrong. “Yeah,” he said. “That would be fun.”

“Just fun, though, right?”

“Oh, yeah, Maya. Just fun. This is definitely nothing serious. Not for me, anyway.”

She finally sat up and frowned down at him. His eyes were squeezed shut, but quickly opened when he sensed her watching him. For a moment, his expression was utterly vulnerable, unlike anything she’d seen in him before. He quickly masked it, but it was too late. “Jayce, this is just fun,” she repeated.

“I know,” he snapped. “Didn’t I just say that?”

“Yeah, but—”

“But nothing, Maya.”

“Then…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong? Did I say something was wrong?”

“It’s not anything you said, it’s just something I’m sensing.”

“Do me a favor and don’t try to read my mind, okay? I’ll show you what I want you to see and you’ll just have to take my word for how I’m feeling. Okay?”

She swallowed hard, suddenly wanting to comfort him. That couldn’t be a good idea, though. If his feelings for her were running deeper than they should, the last thing he needed was her being nice to him. So she patted his cheek. “Okay. That kind of attitude wouldn’t fly in a real relationship, but for us, it’s fine.” She rolled off of him and settled against his side, feeling ready to doze off again.
 

She didn’t. Instead she trailed her fingers up and down his abdomen, occasionally stopping to trace a tattoo.

“Listen,” Jayce said after a long while. “I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend, okay? If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

She smiled. Somewhere in her woman brain, she catalogued the experience. She’d just won a small battle, after all. In the enduring effort of females everywhere to dig into the emotional databases of their male counterparts, this was quite a victory. “I appreciate you telling me that.”

He took in a deep breath and blew it out. “I don’t want you to blow that out of proportion and think I’m going to be heartbroken, or something. I’m not. I just like you and I’d like the chance to take care of you, that’s all. No big deal.”

“Of course.” She nuzzled against him, grateful for this little mystery being solved. She nearly dozed, thinking the conversation over.

“So?”

Her eyes flew open. “Hmm?”

“Would you be interested?”

Shit.
She couldn’t look him in the eye for this. It was better the way they were, with her nestled in the crook of his arm. “That’s not a conversation I’m prepared to have.”

Silence. After a few minutes, Maya relaxed again, once more thinking it was over.

“I just think—“

Her eyes flew open again.

“—That if we liked each other enough to move in together, I could really help out with—“

This time Maya jolted upright. “Whoa, whoa. I just told you I’m not ready for this conversation. Not anywhere near ready.”

His expression was so sincere, she couldn’t be mad at him. She just wanted him to stop talking. Forever. “Well, could I at least tell you my thoughts on the subject?” he asked.

“No,” she said sharply. “Just no.”

His brow furrowed in thought. Maybe in hurt. “Are you…interested in me at all?”

Her jaw dropped. “I just fucked you senseless, Jayce. Isn’t that enough for you?”

He swallowed and then gave her one of those tight smiles that she knew was just another mask. “Of course it is. Sorry, Maya. Come back here and let me hold you.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head and crawling backward. She grabbed her night shirt and slipped it on. “No, you need to see something.” It still wasn’t bright enough, so she flipped on the lamp on her side of the bed.

Jayce sat up, leaning back against the pillows. Maya grabbed some things from her dresser, some papers. She dropped them onto the bed and then sat in front of Jayce. “See this?” she held off a print off of the score for her last practice HiSET test. “Look at the math score. Failing. I cannot advance in life until I get my high school equivalency. I can not pass that test until I get better at math and I’m terrified that I’m just too stupid to figure it out.”

“Maya, you’re not—”

“Look at this,” she said, holding up a note from Mattie’s teacher. “My son is a discipline problem. He’s been bullying a kid at school. Jayce, what do I do with that? How’s that supposed to make me feel? I love my son so much, but I’m scared shitless that he’s going to become his father.”

Jayce’s jaw muscles tensed.

“This,” she said, holding up some legal documents, “is for my court date in two weeks. I’m getting divorced in two weeks. Do you have any idea how much this is costing me in money and in emotional stress? Do you?”

He met her eyes.

“And these.” She held up Damon’s letters. “My husband is begging me to visit him in jail. Listen to this:
Dear Maya, I think about you every moment of every day. I love you so much. I know I’ve done you wrong and I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been angry and violent towards you and it was all my fault, not yours. You never did anything to deserve it. But I’m begging you for a second chance. Please come see me. Even if you don’t love me anymore, please let me say goodbye.”
She choked back tears. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to read those words and want them to be true, but know that even if they are true, you can’t go back into a relationship where all trust is lost?”

Jayce swung his legs out of bed and sat on the edge, his back to her.
 

Maya breathed in and out until she’d calmed herself. “I just…I need you to know what my life is like right now. There’s no room in it for a boyfriend, there’s barely room in it for me. So please, please don’t come at me with conversations like that.”

The room was silent after that, except for the rustle of the papers as Maya gathered them together. She stood and replaced them on her dresser before climbing back into bed.

“Do you want me to go?” Jayce asked softly.

“No.”

She watched the muscles in his back as he straightened and twisted to face her. “Was this good? What we did last night…and this morning?”

“It was perfect.”

“Then if you want, we’ll just keep it like that.”

“If you think you can. If you think you can keep from getting too involved.”

He slid under the covers and lay on his side to face her. “Can I touch you?”

She smiled. “No more love slave. Touch me however you want.”

He did, brushing his knuckles down her cheek. She didn’t flinch. He cupped her jaw and kissed the corner of her mouth. His lips laid gentle kisses all over her face and neck and chest. His touch was the very opposite of uninvolved. It was possessive and needy. When he rolled her to her back and moved on top of her, it was with the kindness and gentleness of a lover rather than a casual partner. His thrusts came slow and deep and full of passion. When he came, he kept his face turned from her, but deep down, Maya knew what would be there.
 

She stroked his hair and neck. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t make a sound. But he clung to her like a man who’d found home after years of searching. It recalled to her mind images of soldiers kissing the dirt of their homelands, mothers reunited with their children, husbands with their wives.
 

She shouldn’t have believed him when he’d said that his feelings weren’t deep. Now here she was, the proud owner of a good man’s heart, and no idea what to do with it.