McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (70 page)

“But he was?”

She nodded, smiling as she thought of her late husband. “Over time, I came to realize that was how he was wired. Nothing bothered him, and
everyone
liked him. He asked me out a hundred times before I finally said yes.”
 

Sydney looked up in time to see a flash of naked pain cross Luke’s face. “What’re you thinking?”

“That when you said yes to him you were saying good-bye to me, and I didn’t even know it.”

The pain she heard in his voice made her sad. “Maybe,” she said, dropping soft kisses on his chest, “I was saying ‘good-bye for now’ to you.”

“You really believe that?”

“I’m beginning to.”

“Tell me about the kids.”

She knew they needed to have this conversation if they had any chance of moving forward together, but that didn’t make it any easier. “Max was brilliant. All mothers say that about their kids, but in his case, it was true. He taught himself to read before kindergarten, and we were talking about having him skip third grade because he was so far ahead of his age group. He loved the Red Sox and video games, even though we didn’t let him have them at home. Seth took him to Fenway Park every summer, and they watched the games every night. There was nothing he didn’t know about that team.”

Luke ran his fingers through her hair, offering comfort as he listened.

“Malena was all girl—ballet and nail polish and frills and bows. She drove her brother insane wanting him to play with her dolls and trying to dress him up for tea parties. She was in kindergarten, often in trouble for talking in class. We suspected she’d be a handful as a teenager. But she was sweet and kind and generous. Always fighting for the underdog and befriending the kids no one else liked.”

“I’d love to see pictures of them sometime.”

Sydney tilted her head back so she could see him. “I’d love to show you.”

“Thank you for telling me about them. I know it’s not easy for you, but now I feel like I know them a little bit.”

Another thought occurred to her, making her hurt the way she did every time she thought of it.

“What, Syd? What is it?”

“I never saw them after. By the time I came to, they’d all been buried. My parents and Seth’s took care of everything.”

“That might’ve been for the best, don’t you think?”

“The shrink assured me I didn’t want those images in my head. He said I was better off remembering them the way they’d been in life.”

“But?”

She appreciated he understood there was more to it. “I feel guilty I wasn’t there for them. That’s weird, right?”

“You were badly injured yourself. There was nothing you could do for them but get better so you could keep their memory alive.”

His softly spoken words went straight to her heart. “That’s such a sweet thing to say. Thank you for that.”

“I’m feeling a little out of my league here, but then again, I always did with you.”

Surprised to hear that, she said, “Why?”

“Come on,” he said, laughing. “You were far too good for me. Still are.”

“That’s not true. I was never, ever good
enough
for you.”

“We can agree to disagree.”

“I don’t know how you can say I was too good for you when I walked away from what we had without a word.”

“All right, if you insist. I’ll agree you’re not good enough for me, but I’m willing to overlook your deficiencies.”

Astounded, Sydney let her mouth fall open, which made him laugh. And then he leaned in to take advantage of her open mouth, chasing the thoughts from her busy mind.
 

His lips moved gently over hers, as if he was afraid to scare her away by taking too much.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and let her tongue wander into his mouth, seeking him.

That seemed to spark something in him, and his kiss went from gentle to fierce. All of a sudden, he pulled back. “I’m sorry,” he said, breathing hard. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I wanted you to.”

“Syd, I want you so much. Not just tonight, but every night. The last thing I want is to rush you or push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I set us back a bit tonight, huh?”

He pushed himself up on an elbow. “No, baby,” he said, brushing the hair back from her face. “It’s not your fault. It’ll take the time it takes. Look how far you’ve already come.”

“Sometimes it seems like I haven’t come very far at all. Other times, I feel closer to my old self again, which of course makes me guilty. How can a mother ever feel like her old self again when her children are gone forever?”

“Trust me—I saw you last summer. You’re a thousand times better than you were.”

“That’s right,” she said, smiling. “You were ‘visiting’ me back then.”

“I couldn’t stay away.”

She reached for him, and he snuggled into her embrace, his lips brushing against her forehead. Sydney smoothed her hand over his hair, comforted by his warmth, his scent and his calm, quiet demeanor.
 

“Luke?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you make love to me?”

His entire body went still, and she swore he stopped breathing.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” she said after an uncomfortable moment of silence.

He took her hand and directed it to the front of his gym shorts.

Sydney gasped when he pressed her hand against his erection.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said in an unsteady tone.

“Oh.” She took advantage of the opportunity to stroke him and felt him grow even harder. She’d never forgotten what it’d been like with him—the thrill, the connection, the overwhelming passion. “Then what?”

“Syd,” he said, his eyes closed and his face tightened with tension as she relearned his length and width. His hips seemed to have a mind of their own as he pushed against her hand.
 

“Tell me.”

“When we do this, I want it to be about us.”

“Who else would it be about?”

He opened his eyes and met her gaze. “It’s not about us tonight. And that’s okay. That’s what you needed. But when we do this, it has to be for the right reasons. We’ve already had one chance and managed to screw it up. I don’t want to screw it up again.”

Sydney withdrew her hand and shifted onto her back. “I should go home.”

He stopped her. “No. Stay here with me. Stay for as long as you want. We’ll get there.” Cupping her cheek, he turned her face toward him and kissed her. “And when we do, it’ll be worth the wait.”

“You’re sure of that?” she asked with a smile, anxious to diffuse the tension she felt coming from him.

“I’ve had
years
to think about what I’d do if I ever got a second chance with you.”

The intensity behind the statement made her shiver with anticipation. “Is that so?”

“Uh-huh.” He trailed kisses from her throat to her ear. “As much as I love being with you like this again, I never would’ve wished for it to happen the way it did. I hope you know that.”

“I do. I know that.” She rested her head on his chest. “I love being with you again, too.”

“Being in a bed is a novelty for us.”

Sydney laughed. “Remember all the crazy places we did it?”

“I remember everything.”

“You really do, don’t you?”

“Every minute. So you’ll stay awhile? Spend some time with me? Let me take care of you?”

She studied his handsome face for a long moment before she said, “Yes, Luke. I’ll stay with you.”

Chapter 10

The next time Sydney woke, she was alone in the big bed and bright sunlight was working its way through small cracks in the blinds that covered the windows. She looked around the room, which was tidy but short on frills, like the man who occupied it. Outside she heard Buddy barking the way he did when he was engaged in a fierce game of fetch.

She glanced at the clock and shot out of bed when she saw it was almost noon. Luke was probably waiting for her to get up so he could take her home and get to work. Her dress from the night before was impossibly wrinkled from being slept in, but it would get her home. After a quick trip to the bathroom, she rushed outside where Luke was throwing a tennis ball for Buddy.

As Buddy flipped himself over in his haste to grab the ball, Luke laughed. Watching him, Sydney remembered the tender way he’d cared for her the night before, how he’d encouraged her to talk about the family she’d loved and lost, and how he’d put her needs above his own, the way he had even as a boy.
 

“Hey,” Luke said. “You’re up.”

“I’m so sorry. I’ve made you late for work.”

Walking over to her, he said, “I took the day off.”

“Because of me.”

He kissed her nose. “We work seven days a week this time of year. I can’t tell you when I last had a full day off, so I was due. No worries, honey.”

Sydney could tell she surprised him when she put her arms around his waist and went up on tiptoes to kiss him.

“What’s that for?”

“To thank you for last night. You got me through a rough spot, and I appreciate it.”

He wrapped her up in a tight hug. “I was glad to be there for you. Now, how about some coffee and something to eat? You have to be starving after not eating last night.”

“Coffee would be great, but then I should go. You probably have things to do.”

Drawing back to look down at her, he touched his lips to her forehead. “I thought we agreed you were going to stay with me awhile.”

Sydney looked up at him. His face was freshly shaven, his hair still damp from the shower, and his serious dark eyes were intensely focused on her. “I thought you meant just last night.”

“I meant for as long as you want to be here.”

“Oh.”

He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. “Let’s start with coffee and go from there.”

She followed him inside, where he poured coffee and insisted on making her an omelet and toast. Sydney was lingering over a second cup of coffee when she asked Luke about her purse.

“I’ll get it for you.” He went into the living room and returned with it.

“Thanks.” She checked her cell phone and let out a gasp. “Oh God. My mother’s been calling all morning.” Sydney called her mother back as Luke got busy cleaning up the kitchen.
 

“Sydney!” Her mother’s voice was frantic. “
Where have you been?
Why haven’t you answered your phone?”

Syd closed her eyes, summoning fortitude. “I’m so sorry. My phone fell out of my purse in the car last night. I didn’t notice until now.”

“Your father and I were about to call the airlines!”

“I’m sorry you were worried. How was the reunion?” She talked to her dad next, and by the time they hung up, her parents were reassured that Sydney was doing fine on the island. She put her head down on the counter for a second to regroup.

Luke’s hands landed on her shoulders, kneading away the tension. “Everything okay?”

“It’s normal, isn’t it? After what happened, it’s normal for them to hover over me to the point of suffocation, right?”

“I suppose so.”

She tipped her head to encourage him to continue the divine massage. “I know they don’t mean to smother me, but I wanted to jump for joy when they left on their trip. If they come back before the end of August, I may very well shoot myself.”

“I’ll lock up the guns.”

Sydney laughed and then moaned when he worked out a tight knot.
 

“Will you tell them?”

“About what?”

“That you’re seeing me again.”

“Eventually.”

“Will it be an issue?”

Even though she wasn’t at all finished enjoying the massage, she turned so she could see him. “Not for me.”

“So if your parents flip out that you’re dating the marina guy again, you’ll be fine with that?”

“I imagine they’ll want me to be happy.”

“And if they don’t approve?”

Sydney wrapped her hands around his and waited until his gaze met hers. “It won’t matter.”

“You say that now.”

“Trust me when I tell you I love my parents, but I’m not under their thumbs. Not anymore.”

He nodded, released her hands and went to finish the dishes.

Sydney followed him and wrapped her arms around him from behind, resting her face on his back. She held him until she felt the tension begin to leave him.

“You need to call Maddie. She was here last night, and she’s worried about you. She’s called this morning hoping to talk to you.”

“I’ll call her. After that, can we run by my place so I can get some clothes and a toothbrush?”

“Sure.”

“Are we okay, Luke?”

“Of course we are.”

He said what she wanted to hear, but she wondered if he meant it. Once again her parents were coming between them, and this time they were more than a thousand miles away.