Memo: Marry Me? (6 page)

‘You’re filling in for the length of our agreement, so quite a bit longer yet.’ Zach spoke right beside her. ‘You’re mine for that time, Lily, and I plan to hold you to every one of the agreed days.’

‘Well, I’ve done my best to get things in order in the office.’ She forced herself to treat his statement at face value, but her skin prickled as she absorbed his quiet words, and their double-edged meaning.

He couldn’t mean to pursue their attraction further? The one kiss had been devastation enough.

She had to get out of this man’s orbit. The sooner, the better. ‘I’m sure any of my staff would be able to take over and keep things going quite seamlessly from this point.’ If she could bring Deborah in…

His instant, narrowed gaze bored through her. ‘But that’s not going to happen, my dear. Now, let’s go mix with the crowd. I’m sure lots of these people would like to meet you.’

My dear.
Oh, it had been nothing but a throwaway line. Yet, even as she told herself this, she reacted to the heat of awareness in his gaze.

‘I was about to leave, actually. This is your night. The business dinner was just a ruse to get you here. You don’t need me hanging around.’

‘Nonsense. If you think I’ll let you go now…’A certain tautness of his features made his determination clear. ‘Besides, a lot of these people are business contacts. You might pick up some interest in your agency. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To build up business?’

‘Naturally, I do.’ She couldn’t very well say anything else. ‘But I can’t push my agency down people’s throats at your party.’

He took her hand and tucked it through the crook of his elbow. ‘You could if you wanted to. But, if not, then just enjoy yourself and don’t be a drama queen about it, there’s a good girl.’

Ooh!
While she was struggling to overcome her flash of ire, he excused them to his mother and brother and started around the room, introducing her to uncles, aunts and cousins, and more business colleagues than she could count. She would never remember most of them.

And Zach still wasn’t willing to let her bring in a replacement for herself. What would she do?

‘You seem to have quite a few relatives. I’m surprised at how many have travelled to be here.’ That made it sound as though Zach wasn’t worth making the trip for, and this wasn’t
her
family they were talking about.

‘Sorry. That came out all wrong. Why don’t I go mingle for a while by myself?’ she suggested rather desperately. ‘Let you get on with enjoying your guests?’

‘Why not stay with me? I’m enjoying your company, and it’s my birthday. Don’t you want to keep me happy?’ Aside from the hand that tucked her against his side, he didn’t touch her. But his glance held heat.

‘I shouldn’t.’ But she stayed. She was too weak to say no again and walk away. And she convinced herself it would be fine. They’d shared a kiss. But, when his common sense returned, he would have no desire to repeat it. Why would he?

They ate sumptuous finger food passed around by discreet waiters, and more food piled onto a groaning buffet table. During the informal toasts there were a lot of jokes about football. Perhaps Zach had played in high school or something. He certainly had lovely shoulders for the game.

When Zach spoke, she was thinking about those shoulders bared and raised above her. Stark, illicit thoughts that shocked and enthralled at once.

‘Come dance with me.’

‘You should dance with some of your guests.’ Her voice sounded almost normal. She hoped he couldn’t see the desperation and lingering desire for him in her gaze.

She couldn’t dance with him. Couldn’t be held close against the solid wall of his chest without revealing just how much she wanted to be that close, and stay that way for as long as she possibly could.

Darkness had set in. The harbour outside sparkled with twinkling lights. There was far too much of the fairy tale about this night already for her to risk a dance with the prince of the evening.

‘I’d rather dance with you.’ Before she could argue, he led her onto the dance floor.

She belatedly realised that she had imagined something quite different to the reality. All over the floor, people were grooving down to a fast-paced song from a 1980’s movie. This would be no smoochy, mouth-watering moment, and she felt momentarily chagrined by the turn of her thoughts.

Yet the dance moves, that felt natural in the privacy of her living room or when she went out with the girls to a club, seemed quite different with Zach’s gaze locked on her.

Every move she made felt sensually charged. Every move
he
made seemed designed to make her more aware of him. Nobody around them was taking the slightest bit of notice, yet she felt so conscious of the tension between them that it was a physical sharpening down her spine.

And he felt it, too, all of it. She knew it, because he didn’t bother to hide the heat in his eyes when their gazes locked. That blatant barrage of sensual interest stole her breath.

Almost at the end of the number, he moved close, his hands firm on the swell of each of her hips as he drew her in. He wasn’t watching her body move. Not now.

Instead, he looked into her eyes, and his
burned
, and she knew she was going to melt, utterly, and she wouldn’t be able to do a thing to stop it. Not one thing, despite all her determination and her need to watch out for herself. And her memories, and the hurt, and all the things she couldn’t trust herself to remember any more.

A smattering of applause indicated the end of the song. Zach lowered his hands. She realised hers were on his waist, let go and stepped back.

‘You make shaking your hips an art form.’ He smiled, making light of it, but his eyes didn’t. They smouldered with dark feelings that showed her she hadn’t seen past the first edge of this man. Not really, even though she had worked with him for three weeks and been aware of him for every moment of that time.

‘Why don’t you ask my brother to dance while I take Mum onto the floor? Dan’s a bit shy about girls, but it would do him good to get out there with someone pretty and confident about herself.’

Zach’s arms were locked to his sides, as though he didn’t trust himself not to haul her back to him.

Confidence had been hard won in the last twelve months, but Lily thought:
you make me feel as though I am those things
, then turned and saw Daniel standing at the edge of the floor tugging at that collar again.

He was just a boy. Not yet in high school, probably. Without realising it revealed her own insecurity, she said, ‘Will he let me that close, if I ask him?’

‘Yeah.’ Zach answered Lily’s question in a tone gravelled by the suppressed need inside him. ‘I don’t think Daniel will be able to do anything else.’

Lily didn’t hear his words. She had already walked away, and that was probably just as well, because Zach really wasn’t himself. He hadn’t been himself since she’d walked into his office that first Monday and started to reorder his working life, as a matter of fact. And his comment hadn’t been about Daniel, but about himself.

He had kissed Lily. Madly, deeply, in front of a room full of people. He wanted to do it again, in private, and never, ever stop. He couldn’t convince himself to let it be. So he’d sent her away to dance with his brother, but so far separation didn’t seem to be helping.

Lily headed straight for Daniel, hips wiggling, one arm stretched out to the boy as her finger beckoned him forward. It had the desired effect.

Daniel broke into a grin and was soon on the floor, laughing and showing her a few moves that weren’t too bad for an eleven-year-old whose feet tended to get in his way. Zach closed his eyes on a familiar ache.

He was so proud of that kid.

With the need to whisk Lily out of the party and straight to the nearest available bed still thrumming deep in his veins, Zach tugged his mother onto the floor and tried to behave normally, instead of as though every nerve ending burned.

He had never wanted anyone this intensely. He would have taken anything Lily was willing to give him, if she had continued to look at him that way much longer after their shared kiss.

‘Thanks, Mum.’ He schooled his tone to sound nothing but cordial. ‘This was nice of you.’

‘I had a little help.’ His mother let him twirl her out on the end of his arm, then pull her back in again, her laugh an echo that had lifted his spirits for as long as he could remember. ‘Thank goodness Lily came along in time, because there’s no way I could have asked that Rochelle creature.’

His mother didn’t know about the sofa incident, but Zach could feel his ears burning anyway. ‘Yeah, well, Rochelle’s gone now, and I’ve got Lily instead. I hope she didn’t have to do too much to help organise tonight.’

Again the protectiveness surged. He didn’t want to add to Lily’s worries, even though he was the one who had insisted she stay and work for him.

It’s not the same thing.

His gaze moved automatically to Lily and Daniel, but it wasn’t his brother he watched. It occurred to him that he might be truly out of his depth, but he pushed the idea away. This was a heady attraction, that was true, but it could be only that. He had learned his lesson with Lara.

‘No, dear. I didn’t make unreasonable demands on your Lily. All she needed to do was get you here.’ The number ended and they made their way off the floor. ‘Lily did seem a bit taken aback when I first outlined my plan. Does she have much family herself?’

‘I don’t know.’ Suddenly it seemed wrong that he didn’t, yet why should it? ‘She’ll be gone soon. I really don’t
need
to know.’ But the words rang hollow, because he did want to know about her. He wanted it all. Her history, her secrets.

‘I’m not sure if I know what I want,’ he muttered, unaware he had spoken aloud.

‘Well, my darling, I never thought you would go unscathed for ever. Now, remember we’ve got the barbecue tomorrow evening. That’s still on, despite tonight’s surprise. It’ll be nice for the rellies who’ve travelled. Meanwhile, I think I’ll start shooing people so we can all get some sleep before then.’ And, with that curious mixture of remarks, his mother took herself off.

Zach moved off the dance floor slowly. He wanted Lily. That
was
all. Wasn’t it?

Daniel brought Lily off the dance floor to join him, his elbow stuck out stiffly so she could grip it with her fingers. She did so with a soft smile on her face that caught at something deep inside Zach.

‘Well done, Dan.’ Zach’s voice softened. ‘I wish Dad could see you. He’d be really proud.’

‘I wish he was here, too.’ Daniel dropped his elbow, allowing Lily to step away, and his face tightened.

Zach kicked himself for reminding the kid of what he didn’t have. He did his best to be father
and
brother to him, but he knew it was a poor second. ‘Dan — ’

‘Did you read the brochure I left on the table at your place? The one about Sarrenden College? They’ve got the best mechatronics program in Australia, starting right from the first year of high school. The program’s brand new.’

‘I saw it, but it’s in Melbourne, and we live here.’ The building of all things mechanical and electronic was Daniel’s latest obsession, and Zach was quite willing to indulge him, although Dan’s interest would probably soon wane. ‘We’ll have to see if there’s something here in Sydney. Maybe some after-school classes you could go to.’

Daniel’s mouth tightened. He muttered, soft enough that only Zach heard, ‘You don’t understand.’

‘Mechatronics is quite cutting-edge stuff, isn’t it?’ Lily addressed her question to Daniel. ‘Wasn’t one of last year’s Youth Australia Innovation awards given to someone working in that field?’

Daniel’s face lit up. ‘Yeah. They designed this really cool computerised exercise “pet” that goes out with the person when they walk or jog. It has all-terrain capabilities, and it measures heart rate, blood pressure and a heap of other stuff. It “woofs” if anything is wrong with the person.’

‘Speaking of exercise, do you want to take a run with me tomorrow morning?’ Zach asked. ‘I need to keep my fitness up for the match on Sunday.’

‘Touch footy.’ Daniel pulled a face. ‘It’s not
real
football. It’s just a bunch of you and your suit friends running around pretending to be fit. Hockey’s better.’

‘Ah. The football jokes are explained.’ At Daniel’s side, Lily stifled a chuckle behind her hand. But the crinkling around her eyes revealed her amusement.

Since hockey was the only sport Daniel’s senior class played at competitive level, Zach was reluctant to concede the point. ‘Maybe, but in touch footy we still get to dive around in the mud if it’s rained, and yell and swear a lot.’

A grin tugged at Daniel’s mouth. ‘I’ll run with you,’ he relented. ‘But I’m not going to the game. And, right now, I’m going to find more food before they take it all away.’

‘Off you go, then.’ He gave Dan a friendly push towards the buffet table. ‘There’s still a bit of birthday cake left, I think.’

The hordes shooed rather well under his mother’s efforts. Zach got caught up in a little flurry of goodbyes and good wishes. It was towards the end of this that he spotted Lily sidling away, and the feelings inside him roared in protest.

Not like this, just slipping away as though she meant nothing, as though the night and their shared kiss had meant nothing. As though either of them really believed this was over or in any way resolved. The buzz in his system assured him it was not.

His mother gathered Daniel and made her way to the elevator. Zach walked straight to Lily. He had her elbow in his hand before she noticed his presence. ‘After a taxi? I’ll get one.’

‘Thank you, but there’s no need to trouble yourself.’ By the time she finished speaking, he had hustled her not towards the lift, where others waited to make a leisurely descent to the floor below, but to the ornate staircase. He didn’t want to share her, even in this small way.

They descended without speaking. Her heels clacked on the parquet steps. Their clothing rustled as they moved. It was oddly intimate, and his hand moved from her elbow and found its way to the small of her back as they stepped outside into the night.

The evening was warm with the promise of rain whispering on the sea breeze. After the rain, the temperature would drop, but for now the air caressed them, and drifted the scent of her perfume to him. Waves lapped against the wharf, adding to the feeling of intimacy.

Desire had him in its grip. He should leave her now, but he would see her home.

Among departing others, they were silent as they made their way to a row of cabs.

When they reached a vacant taxi, Lily gave a sigh that sounded rather relieved, and turned to him. ‘Well, Happy Birthday again, and I guess I’ll see you on Monday when things will be back to business as usual — although I do want to talk to you about the future in respect of that. I want to put Deborah — ’

‘We’re not going there.’ She wanted to cut and run? Not likely, and he might as well kill the idea now. Lily was a great secretary. He had no intention of losing her.

Besides, she was nervous. Aware. As awash in all of this as he was. And he couldn’t help but revel dangerously in that knowledge. He swept her before him into the rear seat of the cab and followed. ‘Give the driver your address, there’s a love.’

‘Oh, but I — ’

‘Or we could go back to my place.’ He wouldn’t take her there. If he got her inside the doors of his home, he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to let her go again. And, for all that he wanted her, that warning voice still had
some
volume remaining.

She must have taken his threat to heart, because she rattled off her address, a not particularly auspicious suburb near enough to the city centre to make commuting acceptable. What was her home like?

‘You’ve not mentioned your family since you started working for me.’ His mother’s earlier question hovered in the back of his mind.

‘There’s not a lot to say.’ Her tone held a curious flatness. ‘I’m an only child. My parents don’t live in Sydney. We keep in contact by phone, mostly. We’re all busy with our own pursuits.’

Too busy to see each other in person at least sometimes? Was that by choice? If Lily were part of his family, he would want more than phone calls.

He might have questioned her more, but she looked at him then, and all he saw was the luminous quality of her eyes rendered almost indigo in the darkened interior of the cab. The need to kiss her rushed through him once again.

By the time the driver stopped outside a modest group of four old but large-looking flats in a quiet street, tension had filled the back of the cab.

Zach caught the driver’s eye in the rear-view mirror. ‘Keep the meter running. I won’t be too long — ’

‘You don’t need to be any time at all.’ Lily’s mouth was a mutinous line.

‘A few minutes, perhaps.’ Just long enough for a kiss goodnight. For a kiss without a room full of people to bring it to an end. A kiss that
he
ended, to prove that he could. To prove he had control over this. ‘Which one’s yours?’

‘It’s the first on the left, the one with the two external doors.’

‘One for your home, and one for your office that can be accessed both from within and without?’ He followed her up the short path, noted the splashes of brightly coloured flowers in beds on either side. He took her key from her and pushed it into the lock of the second door.

‘Yes.’ She gave a strained nod. ‘That’s right.’

A sticky note just below her lighted doorbell said ‘catch the cat’. He read the words. Lily did, too, but they made little sense until he swung the door open and Lily bent, and with a deft movement snatched up a ball of tortoiseshell fluff as it tried to catapult itself past them.

‘Jemima,’ he said absently, and wanted to be held as closely. He wanted to be treasured by Lily, he realised, and shifted uneasily.

‘If she got out, she might get run over. How do you know her name?’ The question dropped with utter surprise from her mouth as she stepped inside and put the cat down.

He followed her in. ‘You offered me Jemima’s firstborn kitten if I’d give your agency another chance. You have a duck or a chicken, too, I think.’

‘Oh. Oh, of course.’ She swallowed. The cat wrapped around her ankles, then sat quietly on the floor beside her feet. ‘Are you very fond of cats? I was going to get her spayed.’

She must be really rattled to be unable to remember their earlier conversation.

‘You mentioned that.’ His pulse quickened. ‘In any case, I don’t want a kitten.’ What he wanted was Lily.

‘I see.’ She let out a breath, but her body remained tense, and her eyes…

She gave a nervous cough. ‘Well, goodnight. Thank you for seeing me home.’

A glow of moonlight shone through the window behind her. He had seen nothing of her home besides the small bit of foyer they stood in and that extra door outside.

He wanted to see more, but most of all he wanted her. A growl erupted in his throat while his hands reached and pulled her forward. ‘Lily. Tell me you want more than a taste of this. Tell me you’ve been thinking about it all night, too.’

Her skin was softer than he had even imagined. He discovered it inch by inch with the tips of his fingers. Touched the freckles he had fantasised about. A faint tremor followed the touch of his hands, a reaction that thrilled through him as well.

‘I haven’t wanted to think about it, but I have.’ Her admission was reluctant but she remained before him, unable or unwilling to step away from his touch.

That small fact lodged inside him and took hold. He fingered the fabric of her gown where it clung lovingly below her neck. ‘I like your dress. It reminds me of things the ladies used to wear to dinner when they came to our house when I was very small.’

Most of all, he liked the feel of the dress beneath his hands, and the thought of what she would feel like without it.

‘The dress…the dress, ah…’ Her words were breathless, strained with the same anticipation that had him in its grip. ‘I, um, I won it on an eBay auction. UK, actually. I got Betty, my chicken, that way too. Not from the UK, from an online auction. Someone was going to
kill
her if I didn’t buy her, and she lays the best eggs and is no trouble.’

She was full of surprises, full of adorable nervous talk, but right now there was only one thing about her that he wanted to know. One thing he wanted to unravel once and for all. ‘I’m going to kiss you now, Lily. You might like to stop chattering while I do it.’

‘Right.’ The word was a sigh of defeat, or perhaps just acceptance as he pulled her close, and her hands rose to his chest to curl into the fabric of his formal jacket.