Memo: Marry Me? (13 page)

After she took her seat beside Anne, she turned her gaze to Zach once more. ‘What do you know for certain about Daniel’s disappearance so far?’

Zach stood at the window and outlined all they had done. He explained that an aunt and uncle were at his house even now, in case Daniel happened to turn up there. Or someone else tried to contact Zach there about the boy.

‘Have you contacted the police?’ Lily hardly dared to say it aloud.

‘Not yet.’ Zach’s shoulders tensed. ‘We’ll have to do it soon, if nothing else happens.’

Lily wanted to hold Zach and never let go. She wanted to pour encouragement and hope into him, and tell him not to give up. ‘How much longer will you wait?’

‘We’ll wait until six p.m. If there’s nothing by then — ’

‘That gives us almost half an hour.’ She drew her notebook and a pencil from her bag and beckoned Zach over. ‘Draw the curtains wide. We’ll all be able to see anyone approaching. We need to go over every conversation, every social outing, all Daniel’s school projects, and friends’ parties, anything that might give us a clue.’

For the next twenty minutes, Zach and his mother turned their minds inside out as they considered all that had been happening in Daniel’s life. The picture that emerged to Lily was of a boy who had changed from gregarious and outgoing, to more serious and quiet. Yet he hadn’t struck her as unhappy. ‘What were you like as a ten and eleven-year-old, Zach? What did you want out of life then?’

‘I played with school friends, loved to kick a footy around, didn’t care too much about my studies.’ He gave his mother a wry glance. ‘Homework time was a bit of a trial, but I eventually pulled myself together and got serious.’

‘Did you get serious at Daniel’s current age? When you were facing the looming thought of high school?’ Something whispered at the edges of Lily’s mind, nagging at her. If she could just pin it down…

Zach’s eyebrows rose. He looked at Lily, then at his mother. ‘Yeah. I changed a lot around that age. I got really interested in maths and commerce, actually.’

Lily’s heart began to thump, but what if she was wrong? It was the wildest thought, with so little to back it up. Nevertheless, she said it. ‘What if Daniel’s attitude has been changing, and you haven’t noticed? What if he’s gone from being a young sports nut, playing with his friends, to a serious boy considering his future?’

Anne leaped to her feet. ‘Oh, he has become serious. He has changed a lot in the past few months, but how does this help us?’

‘He wanted to go to a Melbourne boarding school to study mechatronics.’ The words finally burst from Lily. Somehow, they were all on their feet, and she turned to Zach hopefully. ‘You vetoed the idea, but do you think he accepted that? Did you find some local classes for him to attend? How did he respond to the offer of those?’

Zach’s face tightened. ‘I made a couple of enquiries, but came up blank. I told him there were no classes available and forgot about it. I thought it was just a whim of his.’

Anne gasped, and her eyes widened. ‘Daniel didn’t say anything to me. Why would he want to go so far away from here? From his family?’

A silence stretched as mother and son looked at each other. Shared the concern and pain, and a dose of self-recrimination.

Lily broke that silence, but not before accepting that the bond of commitment and love they shared was nothing she had known, or would ever know. ‘Is it possible that Daniel might have tried to make his way to that Melbourne boarding school on his own? Might his desire to attend there next year have driven him to do that, if he believed the chance had been refused him?’

‘We have to consider it.’ Zach snapped it out.

His mother spoke at the same time. ‘What if he’s not still there, or didn’t even go?’

‘I’ll find out. I’ll hire a private plane. That’ll be the fastest.’ Zach lifted the phone, and then turned to his mother. ‘Use your cell phone to alert the train and bus services and the airports again. Especially anything coming back from Melbourne. Their security people are to watch for him in case he’s already on his way back.

‘We have to follow this possibility. It makes more sense than anything else so far, and you’ll be here in case the phone rings…or anything.’

A movement outside drew Lily’s gaze. She stared, then gasped at the sight of a boy with a gangling build dressed in a tee-shirt and jacket and a pair of grey school trousers, moving up the pathway with his shoulders hunched, his backpack almost dragging on the ground as he lugged it along beside him. A taxi drove away behind him. ‘Daniel…’

Anne’s head snapped up. Her gaze flew to the window. Then, with an inarticulate cry, she ran for the door.

Zach made a wrenching sound that etched itself across Lily’s heart, and hurried behind his mother.

‘Daniel! Where have you been? Are you safe, son?’ Anne snatched the boy into her arms, and pulled him into the haven of their home. She drew back to look deep into his eyes.

Then it was Zach’s turn to pull the boy close, and if Daniel had believed he would soon be able to break free of his brother’s hold, to overpower him in a struggle of strength, the grip of Zach’s arms around him now would put that belief to rest for a very long time.

Lily watched them from just paces away, but in her heart the distance was deserts wide, oceans deep. Even if Zach decided he wanted more than his career and this family, Lily could never compete. She knew nothing of this kind of love.

Finally, Zach let go of Daniel, swallowed hard several times and seemed about to speak.

Daniel spoke first, addressing himself to his mother, although one hand held a fistful of the back of Zach’s shirt, something Lily felt certain the boy didn’t realise he was doing.

‘I’m sorry, Mum. I wanted to go away to Sarrenden College, and when Zach said no I decided to go and see it for myself so I could convince him to let me.’ Daniel swallowed hard.

His voice trembled as he went on. ‘Then I realised I was wrong to try to do it that way, and I tried to come home. I wanted to be back before you started worrying, but I got mixed up with the trains and I lost my cell phone, and I was scared I’d run out of money if I wasn’t careful.’

‘Oh, Daniel.’ Anne lost her fight at last, and tears tracked down her round cheeks.

Daniel broke away from his brother and put his arms around her. A sob escaped. ‘Sorry, Mum.
I’m sorry.’

Zach stepped forward, and patted both brother and mother with large, strong hands that Lily now saw had learned their gentleness here in the heart of the loving family that had shaped him.

When Daniel drew back, and Zach laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed, Lily’s heart squeezed with it.

‘I’m the one who needs to apologise, Dan.’ A muscle spasmed in Zach’s jaw. ‘For not listening to you, for brushing off your attempts to talk properly about it all. The truth is, I didn’t want you to leave, but I have to learn to let you go. I’m just glad you’re safe now, because you’re very precious to us.’

Anne wiped her eyes, took a deep breath, and added her words of assurance, and sterner ones for the way Daniel had put himself at risk. ‘This family will be making some changes in terms of keeping
all
of us safe in future. We’ve been so busy just living a simple family life that we’ve forgotten we’re also worth a lot of money, and could therefore end up prey to blackmailers or worse.’

Zach nodded.

Daniel stood with head bowed inside their small circle of love. Then he looked up with a new maturity in his eyes. ‘You’re right, Mum. I hadn’t thought about that. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you or to Zach.’

At that moment, Lily finally broke free of the stillness that had held her in place since Daniel’s return, and accepted the utter truth that this was no place for her. She couldn’t even maintain a reasonable relationship with her parents, and never had been able to.

While the family were busy with each other, she slipped outside to take her second taxi ride away from the man who owned her heart.

L
ILY
walked into work the next morning dressed in a severe black skirt and skin-tight green top, and wearing a set of carved wooden bangles on her right arm.

Zach watched her enter the outer office, her chin high, her shoulders stiff and her face closed against any show of emotion. ‘Good morning, Lily.’

‘Hello.’ She rounded her desk to put her bag away. Her face softened slightly when she turned to look at him and asked after Daniel’s health. ‘How is your brother? Does he seem all right after his gruelling day yesterday?’

‘He’s okay. Mum’s keeping him at home, and they’re going to spend the day looking into his options for boarding school next year.’ He hesitated before he took a step towards her. ‘Lily, about what we shared — ’

‘There’s no need to talk about it.’ She reached for the first file he had placed on the desk. ‘We had a wonderful experience together, but we both know there’s no future in it. I’m here to work, now, until my contract is over. Let’s focus on that.’

Zach didn’t want to agree, but he sensed if he tried to argue right now she would ignore everything he said. And he didn’t know fully what he
wanted
to say. Only that making love with her had left more things unresolved between them than ever before, and that he didn’t want their closeness to end there.

He gave a tight nod, and walked into his own room.

‘What are you both doing here?’ Lily looked up from her computer screen and stared at her parents in blank question.

If it wasn’t the welcome they had anticipated, she couldn’t help that.

Zach must have heard her greet her parents, because he emerged from his office and came to stand at the side of her desk. The show of solidarity, even in the face of the tense relations between them, made her acknowledge the impossibility of pushing him out of her heart. How could she do that, when he was more firmly entrenched there now than ever?

‘We were in Sydney, and thought we’d drop by.’ Her mother made this unlikely pronouncement.

Lily unconsciously toyed with the bangles on her arm. Her mother’s gaze followed the movement, and her jaw dropped before she looked away again with an expression of distaste. So, okay, the bangles were a bit garish. But Lily realised something just then.

Her mother would look away in the face of anything about her daughter that caused her discomfort. Lily knew and understood that about Dorothea now, in a way she never had before. The knowledge was almost releasing.

Until her mother turned to Zach and pasted an entirely different expression on her face. ‘Actually, our stopping by the office today has a two-fold reason. Naturally, we wanted to check on Lily and ensure she wasn’t causing you any…That she was comfortable here, and settled into her work.’

Lily’s father cleared his throat and looked unhappy. He took a step closer to the desk, then stopped as if uncertain how to proceed. ‘I’m sure you’re showing the highest standards as always, my dear. You’ve always done so.’

Lily’s heart cracked open a little.

‘Well, enough of Lily’s progress.’ Her mother slapped it shut again.

Why had Lily never seen that there was nothing beneath her mother’s surface except more of what was on top? Lily had gravitated to her father’s side, had aligned herself to him by attending his university, by trying to please him with her grades. He hadn’t been as harsh, although he was by no means openly affectionate.

‘You said there were two reasons you stopped by, Mum. What was the other thing?’

Dorothea stepped forward, and Lily noticed the elaborate hairstyle that must have taken hours with a hairdresser.

Her mother addressed her words to Zach. ‘Carl and I are invited to a most prestigious function.’ Here she paused, as though to strengthen the impact of her next words. ‘We’re to dine with the State Governor, and as the invitations are for ourselves and a guest each we came here to invite you, Zach, to attend with us.’

As though realising her faux pas, she turned quickly to her daughter. ‘You too, Lily.’

‘Unfortunately, Lily and I will have to decline your invitation.’ Zach ground the words through teeth that threatened to crack under the pressure of his clamped jaw.

Something did, indeed, crack inside him as he stared at the woman who had produced such a stunning, kind, giving, amazing daughter.

‘But I’d like to extend an invitation to both of you. To a special event of my own that happens to be on in…’ he heard himself say ‘…a little under an hour from now. My family will be there, and I’d like you and Carl to meet them. What do you say?’

When Dorothea looked trapped and uncertain, he said, quite mildly he thought, ‘Don’t concern yourself about time frames. This will only take about an hour. You’ll be gone and back to your hotel with plenty of time to prepare for your night out.’

‘Well, that’s very kind of you, but are you certain you can’t see your way to attending the dinner with us?’ Dorothea didn’t quite manage to hide her disappointment.

‘Quite certain,’ he said, and wondered if he was completely insane. ‘But that doesn’t mean I have to forego the pleasure of your company altogether.’

A choked sound from Lily drew his gaze to her.

‘Will you come with me?’ He watched her toy with some papers on her desk, and willed her to look at him. ‘You don’t have to.’

Finally, she looked up and their gazes met.

She glanced once at her mother, then brought her gaze back to his face and nodded agreement. ‘I’ll come.’ Her half-shrug was meant to indicate she didn’t care one way or the other, but tension bracketed the sides of her mouth. ‘It’s still work time for another hour, anyway.’

‘Get your bag, then. We’ll lock up here, escort your parents downstairs and see them into a taxi, then meet them at my venue.’ Where Lily and her parents would spend an hour with his mother and brother. Was that why he was doing it?

Probably. It was past time her parents saw a real family in action. It might give them a clue about how it should be done! And her father had seemed…different. As though he had really wanted to see her. Well, it was too late to take the invitation back.

Zach was out of control right now, acting rashly, and he knew it. Something was building up inside him. He didn’t know what it was, but a physical outlet for all that growing tension couldn’t hurt. He would take what relief he could get.

Outside the building, Lily shivered as he hailed a taxi, opened the door, and waited while her parents climbed inside. Zach gave the driver the directions and a generous fare, and sent the cab on its way before either parent managed a word.

As the taxi merged into the traffic, he turned to Lily. ‘Let’s get to my car. I’ve got a warm jacket I can lend you.’

She didn’t budge from the footpath. ‘I agreed to come, but that’s because of my parents. Where are we going?’

‘To my touch-footy practice at French’s Park oval. You probably think I’m mad.’

‘Yes, I do, actually.’

She didn’t speak again. Just got into the car when they reached it, and when he handed her the jacket out of his kit she wrapped it around her shoulders.

Zach’s tension spiked higher. He wanted to be that comforting blanket in Lily’s life. He wanted to be all sorts of things to her.

When they arrived at the park, he pulled his kit bag out of the back seat and slung it over his shoulder.

Then he turned to look at Lily, and it just happened. One minute he was watching the wind play with her hair, and wanting that hair spread across his pillow as it had been so recently. The next, love for her slammed through him, almost knocking him to his knees.

He had been so stupid, so blind, and now that blindfold was off and he knew. Knew that he loved her, knew that every second in her arms when they made love had been about showing her, convincing her, giving all of that love to her, even though he hadn’t realised it then himself.

He wanted to say things to her, life-altering things.
Have my baby. Be my lover for ever.
Zach wanted to say other things, too. Things like
marry me
.

How? How could he say those things? His ex-fiancée hadn’t hesitated to tell him it was his commitment to his family that had ruined things for them, and Zach cared about Lily so much more than he had ever cared for Lara. Yet Lily was so different to Lara. And she loved his family.

‘There are my parents, and your mother and Daniel.’ Lily gestured towards a rustic shelter. Tin roof, upright support timbers. It had little else to recommend it.

Zach reluctantly followed Lily’s gaze. ‘They don’t usually attend my practice sessions, but after yesterday I guess we all wanted to be close.’

Now he had thrown Lily’s family into the middle of that closeness. Zach’s thoughts churned.

When a team mate yelled for him to get togged up and get on the field, Zach turned to Lily and said harshly, because of the confusion reigning inside, ‘I have to go. Mum will look after you.’

He wanted to stay at Lily’s side and sort out his feelings right now. But again that team mate called, and he reluctantly ran onto the field.

Zach practised football like a madman. This was Lily’s observation as she tore her gaze from the strong legs displayed to advantage in a pair of dark blue shorts as he ran all over the field. He treated the football like an enemy he wanted to dispatch.

And she loved him. Loved everything about him. Even his obsession with a game that appeared to involve nothing more than butting shoulders with his colleagues, and seeing if he could knock any of them to the ground, then trying to avoid being knocked flat himself.

She watched him run to the other end of the field in pursuit of someone she had thought was actually on his own side. ‘I thought touch football was supposed to be non-aggressive.’

‘It’s appalling, is what it is, and, oh, look. Now it’s started to rain!’ Her mother’s sharp words were the first she had uttered since before the game began.

After meeting Zach’s family, she had stood in speechless silence, too taken aback apparently by the outcome of Zach’s invitation to be able to say anything coherent.

‘Uh-oh.’ Daniel’s grin still held some shadows. He stood close to his mother, and had one arm draped loosely around her shoulders. He nevertheless cast a reluctantly admiring glance in his brother’s direction. ‘Looks like we’re in for some mud and swearing.’

The eyebrows Lily’s mother plucked so finely hiked into her coiffed and lacquered hair. ‘I beg your pardon?’

Daniel just grinned and turned his attention back to the field, where Zach and his colleagues did indeed appear to have transformed into mud-worshipping, loud-mouthed heathens.

Lily bit back a gasp as Zach performed a rather spectacular slide on his tummy right through a big, muddy puddle to stop the ball getting over the end line. ‘He’s acting like a maniac. He’ll hurt himself. He could break his ribs doing that.’

‘Something certainly seems to have got into him today.’ Anne gave Lily a searching glance.

‘Ah, hmm.’ Lily’s father bent his head towards her, his face tight, eyes uncertain, and said so no one would hear, ‘I looked into your agency business, visited your website. And I read your staff recruitment policy.’

‘Did you?’ She hadn’t meant to sound shocked, but she was. ‘Why?’

‘So when I complimented you on your business acumen and success, you’d believe it when I said that I’m proud of you.’ For a moment, his eyes shone with what might have been the hint of some deep emotion. ‘I miss you at the university. It’s not the same without you. We could be ourselves there without…As for that Pearce, well, your mother liked him but I don’t. Never have, really, but I thought you cared for him.’

His voice dropped to a near whisper. ‘I’m a weak man, Lily. I can’t walk away, and I’m no match for — ’

‘It’s all right.’ Her hand closed on his wrist.

He gave a tense cough. ‘I could visit, if you’d like. I’ve got several trips to Sydney planned in the course of this university year.’

‘That would be nice.’ She swallowed hard on the emotion that had risen, squeezed his hand and let it go. Followed his regretful glance to her mother, and gave a slight shake of her head. ‘We are what we are, Dad. Let’s just try to look forward, not back any more.’

Her father nodded and looked away, back out to the field where the game had wound down and the rain had stopped, leaving a puddle in the middle of the field, and a bunch of very grubby businessmen to hobble off that field in various states of exhaustion and bruises.

After a moment of silence, her dad turned back to her. ‘Do you love him, Lilybell?’

She reached up and dropped a shaky kiss on his whiskery cheek. ‘It can’t work out between us, Dad, but yes. I love him. I can’t seem to help it.’

From a distance, Zach observed the exchange between Lily and her father. The bent heads, the way she reached up to kiss the older man’s cheek.

Her mother looked disgruntled, but this fact didn’t seem to be bothering anyone but Dorothea herself.

Mud dripped from Zach’s elbow as he approached and nodded to Lily’s parents. ‘I hope you’ve enjoyed the time with Lily, and thank you for taking the opportunity to meet my family. I’d introduce you to my team mates, who happen to be business colleagues, except it appears they’re all anxious to get home and rid themselves of their muddy clothes.’

The park had a changing room, but not showers.

Zach gave his mother an air hug.

She grasped his arm before he could move away, and asked, ‘What are you doing, Zachary?’

‘I’m starting to realise some things I should have understood long ago, Mum.’ Purpose filled him as he turned to Lily. ‘Are you ready to leave?’

She dipped her head in agreement, said quick farewells to her parents, then to his mother and Daniel.

Did Lily love him, as Zach loved her? His heart burned to know the answer at the same time he feared it. If she didn’t…

After Zach changed clothes, they made their way to her home in silence. When they arrived, Lily got out of the car quickly and hurried to her door.

Zach followed. ‘Don’t say goodbye yet.’ He clenched his fists as he fought the need to reach for her. They had to talk first. He had to tell her what he had realised out there on the football field, and hope she returned his feelings.