Memo: Marry Me? (11 page)

She turned her head away, fixed her gaze at a point beyond her window. Her voice was flat. ‘It’s not as if their attitude is anything unusual.’ Her face closed into a determined mask, and she turned her head to look back the way they had come. ‘We should get back on the road. It wouldn’t do to be late to the airport.’

Zach turned the car back onto the road, but his thoughts were still on their conversation. On all that had happened, and on the growing realisation of how much Lily truly had been forced to come to terms with.

Her mother had tried to hide her away in a sanatorium. If Lily had complied, would she still be there today, while her mother swanned about the place pretending her daughter didn’t exist?

Zach wanted to take Lily straight to
his
mother. To give her the same love from Anne that had sustained him through the grief of losing his father, and through his fears about being able to hold up in his dad’s footsteps.

He wanted to give Lily
family
. The one thing that had torn his life apart when he’d tried to commit to a woman.

At the airport, they separated briefly while he signed off on the use of the hired car. When he joined her again, it was to queue for their boarding passes and to check their luggage in. Lily didn’t speak, but tension radiated from her. He didn’t feel any better.

Memories of last night came back full-force as he absorbed her closeness, and with those memories came regret so deep he couldn’t fathom it.

Zach acknowledged his confusion. Despite everything, he didn’t ever want Lily to leave his life. He couldn’t see his days without her there, part of them. Her sticky notes on his computer. Her forwarded reminders popping up in his email inbox just in time for her to come and tell him the same information when she retrieved it from her diary.

He cared for her. Too much. Too intensely. In ways he didn’t want to examine. And it was all utterly hopeless, because he didn’t have enough to give her. A few left-over crumbs of his life, after he’d handed the rest to his family and his job.

‘I’
LL
get some coffee. Do you want any?’ Lily made the excuse because she needed a moment away from Zach.

‘Nothing for me, thanks.’ He let her go without protest.

Yet, as she walked away, she felt his gaze on her. Perhaps he was still angry over her parents’ behaviour.

Well, she was angry, too. At him,
and
at her parents. Lily had been angry with her mum and dad for a long time. She hadn’t realised the whole truth of that until this morning. They
should
have been there for her. Not just after her accident, but right through her life.

But Zach had rejected her, too, and then gone on to act as though
he
had a right to do that but her parents didn’t.

While she waited for her coffee, Lily pulled out her cell phone to call Deborah, hoping just to hear her friend’s calm, rational voice. There was no answer. As she disconnected, their flight was called.

After taking two sips of the coffee, she abandoned the rest into a trash bin. She joined Zach, and they made their way to the boarding area. Zach had just stepped through when she thought she heard her name called, and hesitated.

Several people filed past her and she looked back, and instantly recognised the man hurrying towards her.
‘Richard.’

He stopped so close to her that she could have touched him. She hadn’t heard from him for twelve months, and suddenly here he was. How had he even known to find her here? What did he want?

‘Lily. I understand from your parents that you’re here with Zachary Swift.’ His glance searched around her, behind her. ‘I’d like to meet him.’

This was the man she had once pledged to marry. The man who had insisted she go kayaking in white water that day, despite her lack of experience, despite her protests.

Resentment stirred, but her life was what it was. And Richard was just a selfish, self-gratifying man who would have made her miserable.

In truth, she was well out of the relationship, and relieved beyond measure to know that he no longer made her feel anything but a rather abstract pity for the shallowness that lurked behind his pseudo-charming exterior.

‘Did my mother put you up to this?’ The moment she asked the question, she knew it was true. But why?

She let her gaze rove him indifferently, and said in calm, almost disinterested tones, ‘I’m very well, Richard. My work is prospering. I’m in good health, all things considered. Thank you for asking.’

‘You sound almost normal.’ This fact appeared to confuse him. ‘Where’s your employer?’ He all but snapped his fingers. ‘Get him back here before your flight leaves. I want a word with him. I — ’ He cut himself off. ‘I mean, the
university
could do with some funding, particularly in my area. It’s a golden opportunity…’

‘Ah.’ So Richard wanted to meet the
prestigious
Zachary Swift. The man with money and connections who might give him a donation that would aid his climb through the ranks of university staff.

Richard was as bad as her mother, viewing everyone through a lens coloured by his desire to get to the top.

‘My boss deals in the business of buying companies, and buying into companies. If you have one on your hands and need a buyer or a partner, make an appointment like everyone else.’ She felt her lip curl in derision. ‘Otherwise, stay away from us.’

The final boarding call came over the intercom. She turned and saw Zach paused, waiting for her, his gaze watchful, the rest of his face a blank mask.

She turned back to her ex-fiancé’s angry face, and wondered how she could have been so blind about him. But, sadly, she already knew the answer. She had wanted to please her parents, and had tried not to see Richard’s selfishness and his other faults. They had come home to roost the day he’d realised she would never get her full brain function back. Clearly, he hadn’t improved with the passage of time!

An airline official approached. ‘Ma’ am? Are you taking this flight, or staying behind?’

‘I’m taking it.’ She turned away from Richard and moved towards Zach.

The flight was short, and Lily and Zach ended up seated in separate parts of the plane because of some mix-up with the boarding passes. Lily didn’t mind. She welcomed the time away from Zach to try to pull her thoughts and emotions together.

When they arrived at Sydney airport, it hummed with noise. The moment Zach turned his cell phone back on inside the terminal, it rang.

‘I’ll get a luggage trolley.’ Lily left him to stand beside their bags and answer his call.

When she came back with a trolley, she heard him address the caller as ‘Steele’, and knew it was a call from his finance manager.

‘Is it really necessary for me to handle this problem right now?’ Zach tossed their luggage onto the trolley, and started pushing it one-handed as he scowled into the phone.

Lily moved along beside him. She had told Zach she would work out her contract to the end. But would he still want that now, after all that had happened? Pride wouldn’t allow her to ask again to leave.

‘Why are Gunterson and Greig so upset? We got the proposal to them on time, and they sounded quite positive about the deal.’ Zach’s hand clenched around the cell phone and his voice harshened. ‘Surely, whatever problem it is, it can wait until Monday?’

Steele talked on for another minute. Then Zach ended the call and snapped the phone shut.

Lily turned to him. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s the Mulligan project.’ He grimaced, and shoved the trolley faster as they approached the building’s exit doors. ‘They’re thinking of pulling out.’

‘What do you need to do to fix the problem?’

He gave a flat laugh. ‘Wine them, dine them. Convince them they’re the most important project I have on my books.’

Even if they weren’t, but in fact the Mulligan project was worth a lot of money.

They made their way into the taxi queue and began the slow shift forward. Stop, start, stop, start.

Zach handled their luggage without seeming to even think about it. ‘In my absence, Gunterson and Greig have gone cold on our proposal. Despite Steele’s efforts, they refuse to talk to him or explain the reason for their change of heart. The deal was all but sewn up, and now I’m going to have to try to get it back to that position.’

And suddenly Lily had a focus,
and
a way to prove herself. To show she could just go on, no matter what had happened between them. No matter that Zach hadn’t been able to make love to her in the face of her disability. She seized the chance to direct her thoughts towards fixing this business problem.

‘What about a long lunch meeting with drinks and lots of table talk? Right now — today? Given that it’s the weekend, and they’ll know you’re sacrificing your time for them, something like that might be your best bet.’

‘That’s a good idea.’ He hesitated for just a moment. ‘The lunch would go a lot better if you were there.’

She cautioned herself to remember that his invitation meant nothing at all, personally. Even so, she wanted to believe he still valued her
somehow
, even if only as his temporary secretary. ‘You really think my presence would be of some help?’

‘Yes. I’ll bet you could think of a great place for the lunch, too.’ He reminded her about her galloping garçon efforts that first day at work. ‘Something good like that would get them in the right mood.’

Although they spoke of business matters, Zach’s gaze on her held awareness, regret, hunger. Would it ever end — this heart-deep longing she felt for him?

‘How many people work for the Mulligan operation?’ She tucked her bottom lip in while she considered his request.

‘Five hundred workers with specialised skills they won’t be able to use elsewhere.’

‘That’s a lot of people and jobs. Why don’t we book a venue right now? In fact, why not that fabulous cliff-top restaurant overlooking Whale Beach?’

Zach nodded and flipped open his phone once again, and Lily assured herself she could do this, could maintain her self-control for one short afternoon, and not fall prey again to the need that had swept her up during their trip away.

‘The afternoon went well, I think. There’s something to be said for setting.’ Lily made the comment as they emerged from the taxi outside her apartment in the late afternoon. Nerves pulled at her, and she struggled to ignore them.

‘It was as successful as we could have hoped.’ Zach drew out her travel bag and leaned in to ask the driver to wait, then turned back to her. His hair was wind-tousled. When he stepped close to her, she could smell sea air on his clothes and in his hair. ‘In large part due to you choosing that venue.’

‘I know it cost you a lot of dollars. I’m very easy with your money, aren’t I?’ She wasn’t really worried about that. He would have vetoed it if he’d disliked the idea. But she
was
uneasy, now that the day was over. What would happen next? ‘I’d heard how beautiful the views were by sea plane over Sydney Harbour, but that’s the first time I’d seen them from that perspective.’

‘Yes. Very lovely.’ But Zach’s gaze rested on her face, and a chord resonated within her at the intensity of that look.

This afternoon, at times when she’d caught his gaze on her, it had seemed like he desired her and more. Oh, she was so confused! They walked to her front door, and he put the bag down. When he looked at her, she simply wanted to melt into his arms again. Why was it so easy for her to lose sight of all that had happened between them?

‘Palm Beach and Whale Beach are both so beautiful, too. The Norfolk Island pines and that blue, blue water. The long stretches of golden sand and palm trees.’ She forced the words to a stop.

But the few hours, despite being primarily for business purposes, had held a forbidden magic for her.

The views from the cliff-top restaurant windows. The feeling of Zach at her side through the afternoon. His hand clasped around hers as he helped her alight from the sea plane. The lapping of the sea beneath their feet as they’d walked the wharf towards the waiting restaurant car.

And that long, silent walk on the beach while they’d given their guests some space and time to discuss their options in private. Tension had buzzed between them, but she had soaked up that time together and tried not to think ahead.

‘You looked beautiful with the sea behind you, and nothing but endless sand beneath your feet.’ His voice was deep and hungry.

He seemed to realise it at the same time she did.

‘I hope Gunterson and Greig’s delegates will push ahead with the deal, now.’ The key eluded her as she dug around in her purse.

‘Whether they do or not, I’m glad I had you with me today. I doubt things would have worked out half as well without you there.’

Just as she found the key, his hand closed over hers. He lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips. Only that, but she wanted to cry.

Their gazes caught and held, and his mouth brushed hers while her heart cried
yes
, even as
she
cried no.

‘No, Zach.’

He made a harsh sound. Turned his head away. ‘You’ll stay with me to the end of the contract.’ He made it a statement.

She tipped her chin in confirmation. ‘Like I said, I’m not a coward. But please go now, Zach. It’s been a draining few days, and this isn’t helping.’

His fists tightened at his sides and a flare of something dark washed across his face. ‘There are things I want, no,
need
to know about what happened to you. I feel as though you’re blaming that somehow for what happened back at the inn.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’ Inside the house, Jemima must have become aware of Lily’s presence and started to howl loudly, adding to the general feeling of cacophony resonating within her.

The luncheon aside, last night and this morning had been tough. She had to be tougher. ‘I’ll see you at work on Monday.’

She took up her travel bag and used it to encourage Jemima backward into the house when she opened the door. A moment later, the door was closed and locked behind her, and Zach’s footsteps were receding down the path.

Zach left Lily because she’d made it clear she was at the end of her endurance, but questions remained unresolved in his head. He didn’t think he would be able to rest until he had answers to those questions.

Just how bad had things been for her as a result of her injury? How exactly had it happened?
Was
she blaming her condition somehow for the fact that he had stopped their lovemaking? If so, she had misunderstood him.

She still seemed fragile when she arrived at work Monday morning, so Zach kept his distance, although he couldn’t prevent his gaze from honing in on her often as she worked away at her desk.

Partway through the afternoon, she stepped into his office to leave a stack of typed letters for him to sign, and he looked up and caught her gaze on him. Wariness pooled in her eyes, and Zach knew he
had
to have those answers
now
, whether she felt ready or not. ‘You never told me, you know. How did your accident happen? That was your ex-fiancé at the airport, wasn’t it? I heard you say his name. Why did he leave you, Lily? Why didn’t he stay by your side and help you through what had happened to you? Why did he come to the airport to see you?’

‘My mother contacted Richard.’ Lily said it in a flat tone that still somehow managed to convey a sense of hurt. ‘He came to the airport in the hopes of meeting you.’

‘Me? Why?’ This wasn’t the answer Zach had expected. ‘What could he possibly want from me?’

‘Money.’ Lily shrugged her slender shoulders. She seemed almost embarrassed as she went on. ‘A grant, I think, which would make him look good and help him climb the ranks at the university. My father used to support him financially. I thought he still did, but maybe he doesn’t.’

Zach curled his hands into fists. ‘What did you tell Richard when you spoke to him?’
Was that all he wanted from you?

A small smile hovered around the edges of her mouth. ‘I told him to stay away from you, from me, and from this business. I think he got the message.’