Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend (17 page)

‘She stole him?’ he asked.

It always looks weird when Puppy talks, because dogs are not supposed to talk, and he looks like a real dog. When he speaks, his tongue hangs out of his mouth and it makes him lisp. And he scratches himself a lot, even though as far as I know there is no such thing as imaginary fleas.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Max went out to her car and then she drove away.’

‘So she didn’t steal him. Maybe they went for a ride.’

‘Yeah, but I don’t think Max knew what was going on. I think Mrs Patterson tricked him.’

‘Why?’ Puppy asked. ‘Why would a teacher trick a little kid like that?’

This is another reason why I do not like to talk to Puppy. He doesn’t understand things like I do. Piper is only in first grade, and Puppy almost never leaves her side, so he does not get to see the adult world. He doesn’t go to the gas station or the hospital at night and he doesn’t watch television with Piper’s parents. He’s too much like Piper. He hasn’t learned anything like why a teacher might steal a kid.

‘I don’t know why Mrs Patterson would trick him,’ I say, not wanting to explain bad guys to him. ‘But I don’t think that Mrs Patterson likes Max’s parents. Maybe she thinks they are bad people.’

‘Why would Max’s parents be bad people? They’re parents.’

See what I mean?

I wish Graham was here right now. I miss her so much. I think I’m the only who misses her. If Meghan missed her, Graham would still be here. I wonder if Meghan even remembers Graham.

No matter what happens, I don’t think that anyone will remember me when I disappear. It will be like I was never here. There will be no proof that I ever existed. When Graham was disappearing, she said that the only thing that she was sad about was that she could not watch Meghan grow up. If I disappeared, I would be sad about not being able to see Max grow up, but I would also be sad about not watching me grow up.

Except you can’t be sad if you disappear, because disappeared people can’t feel sad.

They can only be remembered or forgotten.

I remember Graham, so it still matters that she was here. She has not been forgotten. But there is no Graham to remember me.

The police ordered Chinese food for Max’s parents and Chief Norton just delivered it.

‘We have some more questions, but we should be done soon. Can you hang on for another hour and then we’ll send you home with a couple officers?’

‘We can stay as long as you need us to,’ Max’s mom says.

She sounds like she wants to stay here all night. I don’t blame her. As long as she does not go home, she can keep thinking that Max will be found any minute. Going home means that they know they won’t find Max tonight.

Unless they go to Mrs Patterson’s house, they are not going to find him.

The police officer with the brown spot on his neck leaves with Chief Norton. Chief Norton says that he wants to give Max’s parents a few minutes to eat and be alone.

I do not leave. Without Max, Max’s mom and dad are the only people I have.

As soon as the door closes, Max’s mom starts to cry. It’s not a big cry like the kindergarteners do on their first day of school. Just a little cry. Lots of sniffles and tears but that’s it. Max’s dad puts his arm around her. He doesn’t say anything, and I don’t understand why. They just sit there together. Maybe they hurt so much that the only way they can say it is to say nothing.

I hurt so much, too, but if I could I would talk.

I would tell them how stupid I feel for letting Mrs Patterson leave without me. How stupid and guilty and rotten I feel. I would tell them how worried I am that today is Friday and I won’t be able to ride in Mrs Patterson’s car until Monday afternoon. I would tell them how afraid I am that Mrs Patterson won’t ever come back to school on Monday and I will never be able to find her or Max again.

If I could talk to Max’s parents, I would tell them that Mrs Patterson tricked Max and stole him from the school and lied about it and now Max is in trouble. If I could tell them all that, then Max could be saved. If only I could touch their world and let them know.

It’s why I’ve been thinking about Oswald, the man at the hospital. The mean imaginary friend man who I never want to see again.

Except now I might have to.

CHAPTER 27

There are two police officers at the house tonight, and they are the kind of police officers who don’t sleep. I have seen this kind of police officer at the police station before. They can stay awake all night because the police station never closes.

They are sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and watching television. It feels weird to have two strangers in the house with us, especially with Max not here. It must be weird for Max’s mom and dad, too, because they went to their bedroom early tonight instead of sitting in the living room and watching television.

Max’s dad wanted to go out searching for Max, but Chief Norton told him to go home and get some sleep. ‘We have patrol cars and volunteers walking the neighborhood, and we need you well rested if you’re going to be any help to us tomorrow.’

‘What if Max is hurt somewhere?’ Max’s dad asked, and there was anger in his voice, but it was the kind of anger that someone has when they are afraid. It sounded more nervous and rushed. It was like fear dressed up in a loud voice and red cheeks. ‘What if he slipped and fell and banged his head and now he’s lying unconscious under a bush, out of sight of your patrol cars? Or what if he fell through an open sewer grate or even tried to climb down on his own? What if he is lying in a puddle under some street, bleeding to death right now?’

Max’s mom is crying again, and it stopped Max’s dad before he could say anything else about Max dying or being dead.

‘Those are all things that we have considered,’ Chief Norton said.

Even though Max’s dad was almost yelling, Chief Norton’s voice stayed quiet. He knew that Max’s dad wasn’t mad at him. He might have even known that Max’s dad was not really angry at all but just afraid. His name might be Chief Norton, but I think he is smarter than I thought.

‘We’ve actually checked every sewer grate within three miles of the school, and we’re expanding that radius now. Yes, it’s possible that Max has managed to get himself stuck in a place that is difficult for our teams to see him, but I’ve made sure that everyone who is searching knows this and they are leaving no stone unturned.’

Max’s dad was right. Max is stuck in a place where nobody can see him. But I don’t think it matters how hard they look.

So Max’s mom and dad went home, and after they showed the police officers where the coffee pot and bathroom and telephone and remote control were, they said that they were going to bed.

Max’s mom and dad have not turned on the television, even though I cannot remember the last time they did not spend the evening watching TV. Max’s mom took a shower and now she is sitting on the bed, brushing her hair. Max’s dad is sitting on the edge of the bed, too, turning his telephone over and over in his hands.

‘I just can’t stop thinking about how afraid he must be,’ Max’s mom says. She has stopped combing her hair.

‘I know,’ Max’s dad says. ‘I keep thinking that he’s stuck somewhere. Maybe he got himself trapped in the basement of an abandoned house or maybe he found a cave somewhere in the forest and he can’t get out. Wherever he is, I keep thinking about how alone and how afraid he must be.’

‘I keep hoping that he has Budo with him.’

I let out a little cry when I hear Max’s mom say my name. I know she thinks I’m imaginary, but for that split second I almost felt like she thought I was real.

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ Max’s dad says. ‘Anything to make him feel better. Feel less scared.’

Max’s mom starts to cry, and a second later Max’s dad does, too. But Max’s dad cries on the inside. You can tell that he is crying, but you can also tell that he doesn’t think you can tell that he’s crying.

‘I’m trying to think of what we did wrong,’ Max’s mom says, still crying. ‘I keep thinking that this is somehow our fault.’

‘Stop it,’ Max’s dad says, and I can tell that he is done crying. At least for now. ‘That goddam teacher lost track of Max, and he probably took a walk and got lost. And then he got curious about something that he saw and got stuck somewhere. We have enough to worry about without blaming ourselves.’

‘You don’t think someone took him?’

‘No,’ Max’s dad says. ‘I can’t believe that. No, they are going to find him at the bottom of a well or trapped inside the basement of some abandoned house somewhere or locked in some shed in someone’s backyard. And you know Max. He’s probably heard people shouting his name already but won’t answer because he doesn’t like to talk to people and he doesn’t like to shout. He’s going to be cold and wet and scared, but he is going to be fine. That’s what I believe. I believe it in my heart.’

Max’s dad’s words sound good. They are bursting with hope and I think he really believes everything he said. I think Max’s mom is starting to believe it, too. For a second, even I believe it. I want to believe it.

Max’s mom and dad hug and don’t let go. After a few seconds it feels weird to be sitting next to them so I leave. They will probably be asleep soon, anyway.

I do not want to go to the gas station tonight. Dee and Sally won’t be there, and I can’t stand to be reminded of all the people who I have lost in my life. Graham. Dee. Sally. Max. The gas station used to be one of my favorite places, but not anymore.

I can’t stay here, either. Not all night. I do not feel right sitting in Max’s parents’ room and I do not want to sit in Max’s room alone. And I can’t sit in the living room or kitchen because the police officers are there and they are watching one of those shows where a man talks to a bunch of people who think he is funnier than the people watching on television do.

Plus it feels strange to have these strangers in our house.

I need to talk to someone. And there are not many places where an imaginary friend can go to talk to someone, especially at night.

But I know one place.

CHAPTER 28

The Children’s Hospital is across the street from the regular hospital, but I don’t go to the regular hospital anymore. Not since I met the mean man imaginary friend. Sometimes I get nervous just coming to the Children’s Hospital, because it is so close to the adult hospital.

But the Children’s Hospital is the best place to find imaginary friends. Even better than school. A school is full of kids, but most of them leave their imaginary friends at home, because it is hard to talk or play with an imaginary friend when teachers and other kids are around. They might bring them to school on the first day of kindergarten, but unless it is someone like Max, the kids figure out fast that talking to someone who no one else can see is not a good way to make friends. This is the time when most imaginary friends stop existing.

Kindergarten kills them.

But the Children’s Hospital has always been a good place to find other imaginary friends. I came here when Max was in first grade because Max’s first-grade teacher, Mrs Kropp, told us that hospitals never close. She was teaching the class about 911, which is a number that you can press on a phone if there is an emergency.

If I could press numbers I would have pressed that number today when Mrs Patterson stole Max.

Mrs Kropp said that you can press 911 anytime, because the ambulances and hospitals are always open. So one night I decided to skip the gas station and walk to the hospital instead, which is like six gas stations away.

The kids at the Children’s Hospital are always sick. Some are sick for just a day or two. They fall off their bikes and hit their heads or catch something called pneumonia, but there are also kids who have been at the hospital for a long time because they are really sick. And lots of these kids, especially the really sick ones, have imaginary friends, probably because they need them. Some of the kids are pale and skinny and have no hair, and some wake up in the middle of the night crying softly so no one will hear them and worry about them. Sick kids know that they are sick, and really sick kids know they are really sick, and all of them are scared. So lots of them need imaginary friends to keep them company when their parents go home and they are left with the beeping machines and flashing lights.

The elevator in the hospital is tricky for me, because I cannot go through the elevator doors. I can pass through glass doors and wooden doors and bedroom doors and even car doors, but I cannot pass through elevator doors. I think it is because Max is afraid of elevators and never, ever goes inside one, so he probably does not think of the elevator doors as regular doors. They are more like trapdoors to him.

But I want to go to the fourteenth floor, and it is easier for me to take the elevator. Fourteen floors is a lot of stairs. But that means I need to make sure that there is room in the elevator for me, because even though people can’t see me or feel me, they can bump me and squish me into a corner if there are too many of them.

That’s not quite right. I don’t bump into them. I bump into the idea of them, which means that I feel them but they do not feel me. But there have been times when the elevator fills up with people and I am so squished into the corner that I start to feel how Max must feel when he is in an elevator. All tight and trapped and suffocated, even though I don’t actually breathe. I look like I breathe, but all I breathe is the idea of air, which is always there.

It’s very strange to be an imaginary friend. You can’t be suffocated and you can’t get sick and you can’t fall and break your head and you can’t catch pneumonia. The only thing that can kill you is a person not believing in you. That happens more than all the suffocating and bumps and pneumonia combined.

I wait for a person in a blue costume to press the button. She walked into the hospital right behind me. I have to wait for someone to use the elevator since I cannot press the button that tells the elevator that someone is waiting. And then I have to hope that the person is getting off on a floor close to mine. The woman in the blue costume presses the number eleven, which isn’t bad. If no one else gets on the elevator, I will get off on the eleventh floor, too, and climb the stairs to the fourteenth floor.