Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (19 page)

“How am I ever to forget you?”  Elizabeth blew out her candle and climbed into her bed. 

MR. GARDINER AND JANE led the way and Elizabeth followed slowly as they window shopped in the fashionable part of town.  They were in search of a birthday gift for Mrs. Gardiner.  Elizabeth had seen nothing of the items on display.  Instead she was lost in thought about the events of the past week.  Two nights she had joined her family at dinners.  There had been a few unmarried men, but as usual, Jane drew them like flies while she was left to smile and laugh, and attempted to attract them with her conversation.  More often than not, she found that the men’s eyes glazed over when she spoke of anything more challenging than the weather. 
I do not know the topics that interest these men.  Perhaps I should ask Aunt for ideas.  I just do not understand.  I can speak to Uncle about so many subjects, and he does not seem to mind.  Does that make him unusual?  Mr. Stewart did not mind my conversation, if anything he seemed to enjoy it.  Maybe tradesmen wish to talk of different things than gentlemen.  What is wrong with me?  I do not seem to fit in anywhere!
  She blinked back tears that pricked her eyes. 
What would Mr. Darcy be like?  Would he like me as Mr. Stewart did or walk away as these others do?
  She shook her head and chastised herself.  “You really must stop dreaming of him.  It is impossible.”

“What is impossible, Lizzy?”  Mr. Gardiner smiled and looked over to her.

“Nothing, Uncle.”  She blushed and noticed a bookshop.  “May we stop in here?”

“Certainly!”  He called ahead to Jane, “Lizzy wishes to look at the books.”

“Oh of course she does!”  Jane smiled.  “I think that we should just leave her here and go to a tea shop; she will take no notice of our absence.”

“I am not that terrible!”

“Lizzy, when your nose is in a book, you are deaf and blind to the world!”  Jane laughed.

“That is true.”  Mr. Gardiner nudged her and Elizabeth shrugged and smiled.  They entered and immediately Elizabeth paused and breathed in the scent of parchment and leather.  “I believe that we have lost her already!” 

She wandered off to the back of the shop where the poetry was kept and Mr. Gardiner and Jane stayed in the front, examining a display of books meant to catch a lady’s eye.  She slowly strolled past the shelves, looking up at the titles and nearly tripped over a man kneeling on the floor.  “Oh, pardon me, sir!”

“No, no, it is my fault.”  He stood and turned to smile.  “Miss Bennet!”

“Mr. Bingley, what a pleasant surprise!”  Elizabeth smiled warmly at him.  “Are you in search of something in particular to drive you to the floor?”

Grinning widely he shook his head in mock despair.  “Oh, Miss Bennet, I have no idea what to purchase.  I am not a reader, but I must purchase a gift for my advisor.  He sponsored me at court and he is so self-effacing, he will not hear of my thanking him incessantly as I wish.”  He laughed.  “Neither would he hear of me apologizing for nearly destroying his carriage’s cushions with that sword I had to wear.” 

“He seems to be a very supportive man.”  Elizabeth said softly.

“He is very serious, and very busy, but Darcy is a friend of the like I have never hoped to have before.”  Bingley smiled and tilted his head.  He did not miss the quick intake of breath from his companion; or the expression of . . . something . . . that appeared in her eyes when he spoke.  “Miss Bennet?”

She blinked and focussed on him. “I am very happy for you, Mr. Bingley, congratulations on your presentation.  Now you say that you are not a great reader, yet you wish to choose a book of poetry for Mr. Darcy?”

“Yes, well, he has a library that would put any great collection to shame, not just in town but at his estate Pemberley in Derbyshire.  I was sure that a book would be the gift he could not refuse.”  He lifted his chin to the shelves.  “The problem is that I have no idea what to purchase, and he likely has it already.”

“May I make a suggestion?” 

“I was hoping that you would, I had a feeling that you enjoyed reading.”

Elizabeth reached to a shelf and pulled out a pocket-sized copy of Shakespeare’s Sonnets.  “This is small, but it is also something that he can easily carry with him.  You can never go wrong with the classics.” 

Bingley took it from her and paged through with a smile.  “Excellent idea!”  He grinned.  “Thank you so much!”

“I hope that he enjoys it.”

“Lizzy?”  Elizabeth heard her name called and she turned. 

“Oh, my uncle is calling for me, I should go.”

“Mr. Gardiner, well I should go and greet him.”  He offered his arm and Elizabeth smiled and took it.  They appeared from the shelves and Mr. Gardiner’s brows rose as he bowed.  “Good afternoon, Mr. Gardiner.  Imagine my surprise to meet Miss Elizabeth here.  It is such a pleasure to see you again!”

“Likewise, Mr. Bingley.  I hope that you and your family are well?”

“Indeed we are.”  He looked up and saw Jane standing silently nearby.  Mr. Gardiner noticed and stepped back to her side. 

“Mr. Bingley, this is my niece Miss Jane Bennet.”

“Miss Bennet.  It is a pleasure.”  He stared at her, and Elizabeth watched Jane blushing and staring back. 

“The pleasure is mine, sir.”  She said softly.  Bingley looked at Elizabeth who had tilted her head, then back at Jane. 

“I hope that you found a book to your liking.”

“I . . . no, I am afraid that this shop was my sister’s choice.”  She smiled and he smiled back. 

“How fortunate that she chose it then.  She has aided me in finding two beautiful things today.”  He bowed and looking to Elizabeth who raised her brow at him as he winked.  “Perhaps we will meet again sometime?”

“Anything is possible, Mr. Bingley.”  Elizabeth smiled.

“You are welcome to our home in Gracechurch Street, sir.”  Mr. Gardiner offered.

“I will remember that, sir.”   The group departed and Bingley watched them walking down the sidewalk, and noticed Jane looking back at him through the glass.  He sighed.

“An angel.”

“GEORGIANA I HAVE TO LEAVE.”

“You are never home!”  She cried.  “Why can you not be here?”

“I know that this is difficult for you to be here alone every evening.  I do not enjoy the constant dinners and balls either.  I only enjoy the theatre performances to be honest with you.  But I must go!”

“Why?”

“Georgiana, you know full well why.  I have to do my duty.  I have to find a wife.  Would you prefer that I just select the first woman who smiles at me tonight and then you will have her as your sister?  You asked me to find someone who will care for me when you left home, did you not?  Well finding that person takes time.”

“I am sorry, Fitzwilliam.”  Georgiana sighed and hugged him. “I was being selfish.  I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.  We are both more accustomed to evenings at home together.  Father certainly was rarely out and when I was home from school I played with you.  We are both learning our responsibilities.”

“Must you stay out so late?  I hear you return then you sleep until nearly noon, then you work and go out again.  Perhaps if you returned earlier we could see each other a little more.”

Darcy sighed with frustration.  “You are exaggerating, Georgiana, I could not sleep until noon unless I was medicated.  These events do not start until nearly ten, you know what town hours are like!  This is not Pemberley!”  He saw her pleading expression and sighed again.  “I will try, dear.”  He kissed her forehead and a footman knocked. 

“Sir, Mr. Bingley is here.”  Darcy felt Georgiana startle and straighten up, and look eagerly to the door.  He suspected his sister had developed a little crush on his friend and smiled. 

“Would you like to greet him, Georgiana?”

“Oh yes!”  They walked out to the front hallway where Bingley stood studying the bowl of calling cards.  He turned at their entrance and grinned. 

“Good afternoon!  Miss Darcy, how pretty you look!”

She blushed bright red and whispered.  “Thank you, Mr. Bingley!”  She opened her mouth to speak again and looked at her brother for help.  Darcy smiled. 

“I think that Mrs. Somers is waiting for you in the Library, is she not?”

“Oh, oh yes, she is.  Excuse me.”  She smiled shyly at Bingley and he returned it with a huge smile of his own. 

“It was a pleasure to see you again.”  The men exchanged amused glances as she floated down the hall and went to take seats in Darcy’s study.  “She is getting prettier by the day.”

“She is rather fond of you, I think.  You charm every lady you see, it is an interesting talent.  In the hands of a scoundrel it could be quite disturbing.”

“Well then luckily I am no scoundrel!”  He laughed and settled into his chair.  “Funny that you should mention charming ladies though, I met the loveliest angel today . . .”

“Another angel, Bingley?  Do you make a habit of falling in and out of love?”  Darcy smiled at his friend.

“Hmmm, well I am certainly fond of ladies.”  He shrugged.  “I am in no position to offer marriage to any woman yet.  So for now I will admire the beauty that surrounds me.”

“Poetry is not your strong point.”  He chuckled.

“Ah, speaking of which, this is for you.”  He handed Darcy the parcel from the shop.  “It is a small token of thanks for all you have done for me.”

“I do not require gifts.  I value your friendship.”  Their eyes met and Darcy looked back down immediately.  “Well, it seems to be a book.  Let me guess, the history of horse racing in Britain.”

“No, try again!”

He opened the paper and smiled.  “Sonnets!  Why this is a very handsome volume Bingley, thank you!”

“You are welcome, but I merely purchased it.  The book was chosen by another.”  Darcy’s brows rose in inquiry.  “Miss Elizabeth Bennet found it for me.  She thought that you would like something that was portable and what did she say?  Oh,
you can never go wrong with the classics
.”
  He watched the same expression appear on Darcy’s face as had been on hers. 

“You . . .you saw her in the bookshop?”

“Yes, and I actually did say your name this time and she fairly gasped.” 

Immediately Darcy’s mind began to race, how did she know his name?  It hit him like a bolt; he could see Georgiana running to him in the park calling his name, followed by Mrs. Somers doing the same. 
She wanted to remember me!

“Darcy?”  Bingley smiled and laughed.  “Come on man, wake up!”  Darcy was enveloping the small book within his hands and staring at it as he unconsciously caressed the cover.  “Darcy?”  Bingley said quietly. 

“I . . .I thank you for this gift, Bingley.”  He looked up and held his gaze this time.  “I will treasure it.”

“You are very welcome.”  He paused and took a stab at his theory.  “She looked very well.”

“I am glad of it.”  Darcy’s eyes dropped down to the book. 

“Her uncle invited me to visit their home, you were correct, it is in Gracechurch Street.”  Bingley watched and waited for some sort of a response, a remonstration not to mix socially with tradesmen, perhaps even a request to accompany him, but Darcy remained silent and held the book.  When the silence became uncomfortable, Bingley moved on.

“You are still going to the Whitcomb’s tonight?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”  Darcy sighed and rubbed one hand over his face.  “I cannot understand how people do this for months.  I am exhausted.”

“Well, that is not surprising; you have been out nearly every night but Sundays for over a month.  I enjoy socializing, but even I am growing weary of the Season.  Forgive me Darcy, but when I have attended these events with you, I cannot help but notice your lack of enjoyment.”

Darcy sat back in his chair, still holding the book.  “It is my duty.”

“To be miserable?”  Bingley laughed.  “Truly Darcy, you present the most forbidding countenance, it is a wonder that any woman smiles in welcome at you.”

“They smile because of what they see as their reward for marrying me.”  He glanced around the finely appointed room.  “They know the prestige of being Mrs. Darcy.”

“Surely some of them actually might like you, if you let down that frown of yours.”  Darcy shrugged.  “Do not tell me that not one lady has caught your eye or had something interesting to say?”

“Of course there were, Bingley.  I am not such an egoist that I reject every woman in London.”

“That is not what I see.”  Darcy glared at him.  “Look, if you hate it so much, why go?”

“Because I am the head of this family, and I am responsible for its legacy and its continuity.  I have been charged with doing my duty and that means marrying well.  You are in the same position, might I add.”

“Yes, but I like the ladies!”  Bingley laughed.  “I am sorry, I only wish for you to be happy.  I also overheard your aunt speaking with your uncle.”

Darcy’s brow creased. “What was said?”

“They worry that you are retreating deeper into yourself.  I do not know you from the time before your father died, but from their conversation, I would say that the change has been marked.  You do not impress me as ever being an outgoing individual . . .” He saw Darcy close his eyes and shake his head.  “Well I suspected as much, but it seems that your relatives considered you to be more amiable.”

“It seems that I need to speak to my uncle.”  Darcy smiled a little.  “So have you become my advisor, now?”

Bingley stood.  “I am hardly qualified to give advice on any subject; I simply want my friend to be happy.  I will see you this evening.”  Darcy walked him to the door.  “By the way, Caroline is determined to win you.”

“And you wonder why I frown at the ladies.”  Bingley laughed and departed.  Darcy returned to his study and sat back down, taking the book in his hands and feeling the leather, imagining Lizzy touching it as well.  A knock on the door startled him and he looked up.  “Come.”    The door opened.  “Mrs. Somers, what can I do for you?”

An hour later Darcy was sitting in his uncle’s study in Matlock house.  “What should I do?”

“When does Mrs. Somers wish to leave?”