Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (45 page)

“I do Uncle, but I also find it difficult to forget so many other things.”  She glanced out of the window and saw Jane and Mr. Harwick just entering the park, the nanny following with the two eldest children.  “Jane was the one who was to save the family.  I do hope that he will love her.”  Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner glanced at each other.

“Lizzy, will you come upstairs with me?”  She set down her sewing and they walked up to the nursery, and sent the maid away.  She picked up baby Paul and set him on a changing table, and cooed at him while he smiled and reached for her hair.  “Lizzy, I have noticed that you and Mr. Darcy express affection for each other.”  Elizabeth blushed deeply, and Mrs. Gardiner smiled, still tickling her son.  “I am not going to chastise you.  You are engaged now, and although I would prefer that you follow the dictates of propriety and never kiss him or touch each other before marriage, I will allow reality its due.”

“Thank you, Aunt.”  She whispered.

“Mr. Darcy is a passionate man, I would think, and like any passionate man, he undoubtedly looks forward to the marriage bed.” Elizabeth’s hands twisted together and she stared at the baby, watching Mrs. Gardiner untie the string around his waist to remove the wet napkin, and hang it on the screen of the unlit fireplace.  She picked up a dried cloth, but paused.  “Lizzy, when Mr. Darcy has embraced you, have you ever felt something hard pressing against you?”  Elizabeth nodded, but said nothing.  Mrs. Gardiner placed the napkin around her son and indicated his genitals.  “This is what you felt.  Of course, for a man it is significantly larger, and when he feels . . .desire, it will grow and become hard.  This is what the marriage bed is about, Lizzy.”  She finished diapering the baby and returned him to his bed, then looked at her niece.  “When in the Bible you read that a man knows a woman, it means that part of his body enters her.  He will move within her and become increasingly excited until he spills his seed.  The purpose of this is to create a baby.”  She smiled at Paul and back to her unusually silent niece.  “Now I see that I have frightened you.  Please ask your questions.”

“Does it hurt?”  She said quietly.

“No, it does not, perhaps the first time it will be uncomfortable, but Mr. Darcy deeply loves you, and I am certain he will try to make it as pleasant an experience as he can, and as you become accustomed to it and relax, you will find that it is very pleasurable.  You see, it is not simply lying still and receiving him.  Lovemaking is the most intimate way that you can share your feelings with Mr. Darcy, and he with you.  It will be a way for you to celebrate the happiest moments in your life, as well as the means to provide comfort in the saddest.  It is also simply the way that you will reaffirm your marriage vows on an ordinary day.”

“Mama speaks to her friends of it being something to be avoided, and I have heard them laugh about closing their eyes and hoping that their husband would be done with their duty quickly and leave them.”

“So you have heard something of this?”  Mrs. Gardiner nodded.  “I am not surprised that your mother did not curb the volume of her voice.  Your uncle mentioned Lydia’s behaviour.  Well, keep in mind the nature of her marriage.”  She took Elizabeth’s hand and they sat on the bed shared by the elder children.  “When Mr. Darcy kisses you, what do you feel?”

“I never want it to end.”  She whispered.  “If anything I . . .I feel that I wish to make him feel as wonderful as I do.”

“That is because you love each other.  You have nothing to fear, Lizzy.  Your marriage bed will be a very happy place.  I am so overjoyed for you, it is a rare thing to have a marriage such as you will experience.”  Mrs. Gardiner hugged her tightly.  “I know that Mr. Darcy will care for you, just as your uncle has always cared for me.”  She held Elizabeth and they rocked together while she cried quietly.  “You are relieved?”

“Yes.”  She sniffed and wiped her eyes.  “May I talk with you about this again, when I am able to think clearly?”

Mrs. Gardiner laughed and saw Elizabeth’s fear fading a little as she smiled.  “Of course dear, anytime.  Now, we are to visit Darcy House this afternoon, so I suggest that you wash your face and fix your hair.  His coach will be here soon.”

“How am I to face him after this conversation?”  Elizabeth sighed and her aunt laughed.  By the time she came downstairs; Jane and Harwick had returned and were talking to Mr. Gardiner.  “Did you enjoy your stroll?”  She asked cheerily.

Harwick smiled warmly to her and nodded.  “Yes, walking with the children made me miss my girls a little less.  I look forward to them being old enough to take such walks.”

“Are they at your estate?”  She took a seat nearby and glanced at Jane. 

“Yes, there was no point in bringing them to town.  My sister is looking after them right now, but she will be joining me here in a week or so.”

“Your sister lives with you?”  Jane asked curiously.

“Yes.  Her husband died about three years ago.  His estate obviously had to stay in the family, but she was left with a monetary settlement and the use of a home in London.  However, she decided to live with us at first, and when my wife died, she was a great help with the children.  Now that both of us have ended our mourning, she is considering remarrying and having her own family.  She and her husband, Mr. Carter, had no children.”

“She is young?”  Mrs. Gardiner asked.

“Yes, well, not as young as you two ladies,” he smiled at the sisters.  “But she is five and twenty.”   

“May I ask how her husband died?”

“Ah, Miss Elizabeth, it is a not a tale that I like to relate.  Let us say that Mr. Carter was rather adept at hiding his dissolute ways during their courtship and disappointed my sister and my parents when they emerged after the wedding.  He is not regretted.”  He saw the wide eyes of the ladies and the curious tilt of Mr. Gardiner’s head. 

“I imagine that such an unhappy result will encourage great caution when she considers marriage again.”  Elizabeth said thoughtfully.

“As any person considering such a momentous decision should.”  Harwick smiled at her, then realized that she was thinking of him and her family.  “Have you spoken to Mr. Darcy since your battle of wills the other night?”

The family laughed and Elizabeth blushed but met his slightly raised brow.  “Yes, and it was amicably resolved, sir.”  She noticed a coach arriving and looked at her aunt as she stood.  “And we are now to go visit him.”

“Well, let us not keep Mr. Darcy waiting.”  Mrs. Gardiner laughed and followed Elizabeth to the doorway where they said their goodbyes.  Harwick watched them boarding the coach with a small smile and turned back to see Jane watching him.

“I should take my leave as well, Miss Bennet.  I have trespassed on your company for too long.  I enjoyed our walk today, and I look forward to our evening at Vauxhall.  I will come with Darcy tomorrow night.”  He rose and bowed to her and Mr. Gardiner.

“Let me see you to the door, sir.”  Jane walked ahead of him and watched as he put his hat on and adjusted his gloves.  He smiled and bowed again, then departed.  Jane watched him through the window and returned to the sitting room.  “He did not stay very long.”

“He was here two hours, Jane.”

“Yes, I guess that he was.  He is a very civil man.”  She sat down and looked at her hands.  “This is difficult Uncle; it is not what I expected.”

“What do you mean?”

“Marrying for duty and to save the family sounds very noble and romantic until you are faced with a stranger by your side.”  She stared at the empty sofa where she had watched Darcy and Elizabeth smiling at each other, then shaking her head looked back to her uncle.  “But this is what I was raised to do.”  Mr. Gardiner smiled at her and she straightened her shoulders.  “I did not know he has a sister living with him.  I wonder what she is like.”

“You will meet her soon, it seems.  And I am certain that you will get along very well, he certainly seems to think so.”  He said encouragingly. 

“How do you know?”  She asked worriedly.

“Because he would not continue with you otherwise.”  Mr. Gardiner winked and went back to his paper.  Jane picked up her sewing and lost herself in thought.

 “LOUISA!”  Bingley called to his sister when she passed the study door.  “May I have a word with you?”

“What is it, Charles?”  She came in and followed his silent request to close the door.  “Do you have a secret?”

“Well not exactly.  How is Caroline doing in her search for a husband?”

Louisa snorted and held up her hand.  “Forgive me.  It goes poorly.  She just is not trying.  She has it in her head that you will somehow convince Mr. Darcy that she is the best choice for his wife.”  Bingley groaned.  “I played along at first because frankly it was amusing, but I know as well as you that he would never marry her.  He has no reason to take a woman of our status.  Her dowry is nothing to what he could easily find with a woman of the first circles.  Only love would make him so blind, and clearly he avoids her company so that is not likely.”

“No, not at all.”  Bingley sighed and handed her the morning’s
Times
.  He pointed to the particular notice and Louisa gasped then started laughing.  “This is amusing?”

“I should think so!  Caroline wasted this entire season conspiring to be with Mr. Darcy, and here he found an heiress to marry right under her nose.”  She handed back the paper.  “Do you know her?”

“Yes I do, and you have met her as well, do you not remember her from that ball at the beginning of the Season?”

“That daughter of a gentleman from Hertfordshire?  With the small estate?”  Louisa sat forward in her astonishment.

“She is a delightful girl.  Beautiful, engaging, a delight in every way, he is a very lucky man.” 

“Charles, if I am not mistaken, I would say that you are in love with her yourself, but then you do have a habit of loving every pretty face that walks by.”  To her surprise Bingley flushed as she spoke.  “Do you care for her?”

“No, we are friends!”  He glared.

“Does Mr. Darcy agree?  You cannot risk losing your friendship with him.”

“Louisa enough.  Darcy is deeply in love with her, and she with him.  Now then, what do we do with Caroline?”  He took the engagement announcement and set it aside.

She sighed and shrugged.  “Nothing.  She will scream and gnash her teeth like the spoiled child she is, but in the end she is meaningless to him.  We simply have to convince her that it was never to be and point her in some other man’s direction.”

Somewhere in the house a screech rent the air.  “I think that she knows.”   Bingley said softly.  Louisa heard the pounding of feet in the hallway and stood wearily.  “You go and speak to her, and I will attempt to think of a man who would want her.  Maybe Hurst . . .?”

“You know that he sleeps to avoid her.”  Louisa smiled.  “He will be so glad to marry her off.”

“Then he is not alone in motivation.”  Bingley raised his brows and watched her go, then looked at the paper again and began to laugh. “You played matchmaker for Darcy and Miss Elizabeth, and were a great success.  Now, let us see what you can do with your sister.”

DARCY WAS WAITING AT THE DOOR when the coach pulled up to his home.  He strode out and handed down Mrs. Gardiner, then smiled warmly at Elizabeth as she stepped to the curb, kissed her hand and tucked it onto his arm.  “It is so good to see you come home.” He whispered before he greeted them formally.  “I am sorry that I did not escort you myself, but my aunt decided to join the tour and arrived just as the coach was ready to depart.”  He smiled at Elizabeth and noticed that she could not meet his eye. “Dearest?”  He whispered.

“I am just nervous about the house.”  She smiled a little and looked down at his arm.

“There is nothing to fear, trust me.  You have already seen the principal rooms; this is simply your opportunity to decide on how you will redecorate your private rooms.  Mrs. Mercer is the one in charge.” They entered the hallway and he turned to study her face.  “What is wrong?”

“Nothing that I can speak about here.”  She whispered, and his brow creased. 

“Ah, there you are.”  Lady Matlock appeared and looked expectantly at Darcy.  “I will conduct the tour, it would be improper for you to see Miss Elizabeth in the mistress’s chambers.” 

Darcy gaped at her in disbelief. “Aunt, I am in your company, surely it will not be inappropriate!” 

“We ladies have things to discuss.”  Lady Matlock nodded at the women and started up the stairs.  “We will return before too long, Nephew.”  Darcy was left standing on the landing, staring up at Elizabeth’s retreating form and crestfallen, walked away to his study. 

“I do not believe that Mr. Darcy was pleased with your plan, my lady.”  Mrs. Gardiner smiled.

“Of course not, he has been imagining Miss Elizabeth within these rooms for quite some time.”  She opened the door to the Mistress’s chambers and entered.  “I think that it will do him some good to keep on imagining.”  She smiled and closed the door behind them and noticed Elizabeth’s wide eyes and frightened expression.  “Well, this is obviously the bedchamber.  My sister decorated it upon her marriage, but it has not been changed in six and twenty years, so it is certainly time that it was.”  She opened a door to show the empty dressing room and another to show the bath.  Leading on she indicated a door that opened to the nursery.  “Of course you will have a wet nurse so it will not be necessary to have the baby in here; this is a relic of a different time.”  Elizabeth glanced at Mrs. Gardiner who had raised her brows with hearing Lady Matlock’s presumption.  The woman walked back across the room and touched another door.  “This leads to your private sitting room, and this,” she opened one more door, “leads directly to Darcy’s bedchamber.”  She stood aside and looked at Elizabeth expectantly. 

Cautiously stepping forward, she peeked in, glimpsed the enormous canopied bed and deep burgundy velvet curtains that surrounded it, and backed out quickly.  Lady Matlock proceeded in a businesslike manner.  “Now then, I do not know the arrangements that your parents adhered to in your home estate, but marriages in our circle are conducted in an expected fashion.  You have your bedchamber, and your husband has his.  You will, of course, be expected to accommodate him at his pleasure as is his right by law.  He will avoid you during your monthly courses, on Sundays and other church days, and naturally when you are ill and with child.  It is disrespectful to claim a false physical ailment to discourage his company.”  She walked over to the bed and waved her arm.  “He will, because he is considerate, come to your chamber.  He will knock and enter and join you in the bed.  He will raise your night gown and then raise his, unite with you for however long is necessary, thank you for the pleasure, and of course, depart for his rooms.  My nephew seems fond of you, so he may wish to kiss you and touch you before he does his duty, but he just as likely may not.  He will make faces and grunt as he moves.  Do not be alarmed, he is not in pain.  I suggest that you keep a linen towel nearby to clean yourself afterwards.”  She paused for a few moments as she thought then her eyes opened.  “Oh, and early in your marriage he may wish to stay with you for convenience sake because he will wish to repeat the act several times before retiring.  This will wane with time.  Of course you will be willing and compliant with each coupling; the goal is to provide Pemberley with its heir.  Do you have any questions?”