Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (58 page)

“Mr. Harwick feels strongly about his family, so of course his sister’s arrival is more important than attending a race.” 

Mrs. Gardiner glanced at her husband in surprise and turned to regard Jane carefully.  She was flushed and looked somewhat defiant.  “Well that was interesting.”  Mr. Gardiner murmured. 

“What brought that about?”  Mrs. Gardiner said softly.

“I do not know, but it is about time.”  He glanced over to Darcy and Elizabeth and chuckled.  “Now these two are lost.”

“Your eyes are dancing.”  Darcy smiled.

“This is exciting; can you not feel the pulse of the crowd?”  She looked around to see the milling people, but focussed her attention to the open area where they stood last year. 

“I find myself in the odd position of wishing we were down there.”  Darcy spoke softly.

“With the unwashed hoard?”  Elizabeth laughed and turned to smile at him.  “I know enough of you Fitzwilliam that you are far happier here.  If you must be in a crowd, you prefer one of your peers.”

“That shows my disdain for those below me.  Are you trying to shame me?”

“No, I am simply being honest.  I cannot expect you to disregard who you were raised to be anymore than you can expect me to ever leave my upbringing completely behind.”  She looked down to her hands and he reached out to hold them.

“But you discount the attraction of anonymity that standing in that crowd gives us.  I would love to see how a girl with proper country manners reacts to a race.”  His comment, instead of making her smile, brought a frown.  The first of many races began and while everyone else watched the horses, he watched her, and noticed that her attention was on the ladies in the crowd.  He saw her mirroring their movements, and realized that his statement on her country manners had made her self-conscious. When she reined in her natural enthusiasm and applauded politely at the race’s conclusion, he stood.  “Come.”

“Where?” 

He bent to Mr. Gardiner.  “Sir, I am going to take Elizabeth to place our bets for the Derby, do you mind?”

Seeing the determination in the man’s eye, and knowing full well that there was nowhere they could possibly be alone, he smiled and sent them on their way.  Darcy offered Elizabeth his arm, nodded to Stewart as he watched them pass and took her out of the stands and through the milling crowds, past the men selling refreshments, placed their bets, and instead of returning to their seats, turned in the opposite direction. 

“What are we doing?” 

“You will see.”  He said cryptically and continuing on, stopped short when he saw his uncle and cousin approaching. 

“I was wondering if we would see you today.”  Lord Matlock smiled and bowed to Elizabeth.  “Our carriage was delayed with the traffic.  We should have come with you, Darcy.  You made good time, I suppose.”

“We did, but there was no room for you, Elizabeth’s family and Bingley joined us.”  He noticed Layton’s raised brows, but appreciated that he made no comment, and was at least behaving politely to Elizabeth.  “Did Singleton come with you?”

Layton smiled.  “No, he . . .was persuaded to remain home with Audrey and Georgiana.”  Darcy cocked his head and his cousin continued, “Richard and I persuaded him.”

“I am sorry to have missed that.”

“I have no doubt that you will hear the details.”  Layton laughed and saw Elizabeth’s curious gaze.  “Ahem.  In any case, I hope that it was effective.  We are on our way back to the ladies, and you?”

“Are taking the air.”  Darcy smiled and they moved on.  “Curious.”

“What was that about?”  Elizabeth asked as they moved on.  “Is Audrey well?”

Darcy looked down at her to see the concern for his cousin, and brought his hand up to cover hers.  “I hope that her brothers have inspired her husband to change his ways.”

“I know how upset she was at the theatre; I suppose that he behaves that way frequently.”  She saw Darcy’s nod.  “And the Colonel and Viscount . . .”

“Spoke up for their sister.”  He smiled to see her satisfaction.  “You are pleased.”

“I want her to be happy.  I know that Mr. Singleton was not her choice but her parents’.  I seem to have the knowledge of how unfathomably fortunate our relationship is driven home to me at every turn.  Thank you again for risking so much to marry someone like me.”

“I do not know what has made you feel so low about yourself today Elizabeth, but I wish that you would stop.  Did my comments about your manners start you thinking this way?  Truly dearest, I find nothing at all wanting in you.”  He leaned down to try and see her eyes.  “Why are you so shy with me?”

“I suppose that I have had a great deal to think about of late.”  She said softly, in great contrast with the roar of the crowd during the second race.  Darcy strained to hear her as she continued.  “I have thought much of your cousin, Miss de Bourgh.”

“Elizabeth, even if I wanted such a match, marrying a delusional woman is impossible.”

“I wonder what she looks like.” She said softly.  “Is she beautiful?”

“She is sickly, Elizabeth.”  He heard her sigh and stopped walking.  “Please tell me what is wrong.”

She said nothing until his insistent gaze drove the thoughts from her; and in a burst it tumbled out.  “All around me I see marriages, and the common theme is the wealth of the couples.  What one can bring to the other, and the sacrifice they make to secure the funds for another generation.  I see it with Audrey and Mr. Singleton, and the Viscount and Lady Layton.  I know that it is the reason my parents married and yours.  It is the only reason Jane would consider Mr. Harwick, and he is merely looking for a woman to secure his heir.  I bring nothing to you, if anything I take away.   My lack of dowry takes funds from your wealth to create a settlement, my lack of connection and instruction takes away from my ability to be a good hostess and example to Georgiana, my lack of beauty . . .”

“Enough of this!”  Darcy said fiercely.  “Enough I say!”  She looked up to him with wide eyes, and saw that he was battling hard to restrain his reaction.  “Sometimes Elizabeth, you can say the most ridiculous things!”

“What did I say that was incorrect?”  She demanded.

He stared into her frightened, angry, beautiful eyes, falling deeper under her spell with each passing moment, and reminded himself that despite her strength, his Elizabeth was not yet eighteen.  “Everything you said was true.”  Her eyes cast down, and he touched her chin to raise it back up to his gaze, “Except what you say of yourself.  Your manners are lovely, your care for my sister is invaluable, and your beauty is incomparable, and those qualities barely touch the reasons for my wanting you.  You my love, are recovering from my cousin’s attack still, just as I am, and I think you are nervous of your father coming to visit and how that might somehow make me reconsider our engagement.”  She bit her lip and looked back down.  “Dearest if I could, I would be kissing you senseless right now to clear your mind of such foolishness.”  He glanced down to his breeches and she followed his eyes, raising her hand to her mouth in surprise.  “Do you see what you do to me?”  He whispered heatedly to her ear. 

“Fitzwilliam, what can we do?  Hide that!”  She ordered.

Darcy started to laugh, loudly, happily, and watched as she positioned herself in front of him.  He saw that his mirth was attracting attention and did not care.  “Come my love; let us go somewhere that I can express my feelings in relative obscurity.”  He took her hand, placing it back on his arm, still chuckling as she attempted to shield his groin with her skirts, and made their way down the path that led to the spot where they had watched each other one year ago.   

3 June 1809

Such an exceptional day I spent with my Elizabeth!  I have attended the Derby five times and three were memorable, the first with Father, obviously last year when I saw my love and made a friend of Bingley, and this year, with my endearingly frightened and confusingly shy Elizabeth.  I hope that I have managed to reassure her that nothing will send me away.  She will be my wife, no matter what her father does, and although I did not express it then, I will have to tell her how much comfort she brings me to see her distress over Anne.  It is not right for a man to express excess emotion, but to see her clearly struggling with hers brings me relief in some way from the memory of that horrible night.  I was so happy to bring her to the public viewing area and steal a kiss while the crowd pressed forward to the rail.  That short embrace and exchange of affection seemed to return my Elizabeth’s confidence and humour.  She needed my touch, it seems.  I cannot express in any way how gratifying that is to me.  My kiss returned a wilting rose to full bloom.

Next year when I escort my wife to the Derby, and she undoubtedly wins once again, I will disregard all of propriety and kiss that woman before all of polite society.  Never have I seen anything as breathtaking and enticing as my Elizabeth trembling with the joy of her triumph.  But I will not wait a full year for this.  I am determined to achieve that expression of elation by my hand.  Be prepared to blush my love.  There will be no chaperones on our honeymoon.

Darcy set down his pen, blew out his candle, and walked from his sitting room, through his empty bedchamber and into the freshly redecorated mistress’s chambers.  He settled into the bed, closing his eyes, imagining Elizabeth touching him as she whispered all she wished to do . . .then groaned and fell soundly, securely, to sleep.

Chapter 22

   
“M
mm.”  Anne murmured.

“Miss Anne, how do you feel?”  Mrs. Jenkinson was at her side, pressing a cold compress to her head.  A fever had come not long after their return from the trip to London.  The companion kept her views to herself, but she knew that the excitement and the turmoil of the journey was the likely cause.  For anyone else, this would have been a simple illness, and easily battled.  For Anne, it was just another step closer to death.

“Where am I?”  She said as her eyes blinked open.

“You are in your chambers at Rosings, do you not recognize it?” 

“Rosings?”  She sat up and ripped the cloth from her head, then stared at Mrs. Jenkinson.  “Why do you address me as Miss Anne?  I am Mrs. Darcy!  Why am I not at Pemberley?”

Mrs. Jenkinson gasped; the delusion did not disappear when she was removed from Darcy’s company.  “Miss Anne, you are not married.  Rosings is your home.”

“No, I married my cousin!   I am Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy!”  She said stubbornly.  “Why are you teasing me?  Where is my husband?  Why am I here?  He is the master of Rosings; we should be in the master’s chambers!  Mama must move out!  Is that what is wrong?  Will Mama not leave?”  She threw the covers aside and stood, then collapsed on the bed, too weak to walk.  “Tell Fitzwilliam, tell him . . .” She closed her eyes. 

Mrs. Jenkinson took the opportunity to lift her head and put a glass to her lips.  “Come now Miss Anne, drink your medicine.”  Anne murmured but obediently swallowed the laudanum.  Mrs. Jenkinson managed to move her back into place, covered her, and called for a maid to sit by her side while she went in search of her mother. 

“Lady de Bourgh.”  She said quietly from the doorway.

Lady Catherine immediately looked up from where she had been lecturing Mr. Collins on his mentor’s choice of sermon topics.  “Well?”

“I have some news.”  She glanced at Mr. Collins.

“Is it about my daughter?  Is her fever worse?”

“It is the same, madam; however I need to speak to you.”  Mrs. Jenkinson tried to impart as much as she could into her look and Lady Catherine nodded. 

“Is Miss de Bourgh ill?  Shall I go and pray with her, and give her the comfort that she surely will feel with the words of our Lord?”  Mr. Collins said eagerly.

It was a convenient excuse to remove him from the room and Mr. Collins was soon on his way with a maid to visit Anne.  “What is it, Mrs. Jenkinson?” 

“Madam, I hesitate to inform you of this, but Miss Anne awakened from her sleep and firmly believed that she was Mrs. Darcy.  She demanded to know why she was not in the mistresses’ chambers, and assumed that you had not moved out of them since the wedding.  Madam, her delusion grows!  She expects Mr. Darcy to come to her. I gave her some elixir and she fell to sleep so she is safe with Mr. Collins, but she cannot go about speaking of such things!”

“She believes herself married to my nephew?”  Lady Catherine said with interest, “Even now?”

“Yes, madam.  I am certain that with Mr. Darcy’s pending wedding he would not appreciate such a story spreading,”

“No, he would not like that at all. It would hurt his reputation, not to mention Anne’s . . .” Lady Catherine began thinking quickly when Mr. Collins reappeared.

“My Lady!  Imagine my surprise to learn that Miss de Bourgh, pardon me, Mrs. Darcy . . .that your daughter had married!  Why it is great news indeed!  I regret that I, I mean Reverend Mousely, was not chosen to perform the ceremony; however the description she gave me of the fine service performed by the Bishop himself in London certainly explains why my . . .his poor service was not necessary.  Shall I toll the bells in celebration, madam?  All the countryside should know that Rosings has a master and I do hope, will soon have an heir?  Of course, pending Mrs. Darcy’s recovery.”  He added sorrowfully.

Mrs. Jenkinson stared at him with her mouth open then turned to look at Lady Catherine.  A small smile of triumph played over her mouth.  “Mr. Collins, I thank you for your congratulations, however Mr. Darcy is not presently at Rosings, and my daughter’s illness has made her confused of his location.  When he arrives, you may celebrate as is appropriate for such a great occasion, however, until he arrives we will only rejoice in our halls.”  She quickly ran through the possibilities in her mind. Darcy would not let his cousin be labelled mentally ill by denying their marriage as a delusion.  It would hurt the family.  He would marry her to protect their name, and to save his reputation. After all, how could he pretend to marry this country upstart if he was already married to Anne?