Mia the Magnificent (7 page)

Lisa put her hands on her hips. “Mandy and Shawn compliment each other in height and voices. I was just doing my job as a director.”

“And were you just doing your job when you asked Mandy to get on her hands and knees to search every row for your lost contact?”

“I thought it popped out of my eye,” Lisa said.

“Lisa,” I said, looking at her skeptically, “you don’t wear contacts.”

“Oh, all right,” Lisa grumbled. “Maybe I was a little hard on her.”

I raised my eyebrows. “A little?”

“OK, a lot,” Lisa said. “But there’s just something about Mandy I don’t like.”

“Like the fact that she’s dating your ex-boyfriend?”

Lisa glared at me. “Maybe.”

“So, I take it your equation for getting over Mike isn’t working as well as you thought it would,” I said.

“You know full well I’m past my twenty-ninth day. I must have made some error in my original calculations. I’m analyzing the data, and once I figure out the inconsistency, I’ll be able to predict with more accuracy how long I have to endure the pain of seeing Mike with someone else,” Lisa said. “If I can find the right formula, I can
be done with these feelings once and for all.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe you can’t put feelings into an equation and expect it to work out all neat and tidy?” I said. “Relationships are messy, and getting over them is even messier. Mike’s a great guy. It’s going to take a while to get over him.”

“But I will,” Lisa said with a new resilience. “After all, I can’t keep wasting emotions on someone who’s dating a girl with only a slightly above average intelligence quotient.”

Figuring I didn’t want to know what database Lisa hacked into to find that information, I instead leaned over, picked a bracelet up off the floor, and said, “Hey, look at this. Cassie must’ve dropped it during rehearsal.”

“How do you know it’s Cassie’s?” Lisa asked.

“Because she showed it to me at least a jillion times during rehearsal, and went on and on about how Tim had bought it for her when they got back together at the end of the summer.”

“You know,” Lisa said, walking over to examine the bracelet more closely, “I swear I saw Alyssa wearing the exact same bracelet tonight.”

If Lisa was right, Tim was playing with fire, and he was definitely going to get burned.

When I finally got home that night, I was as worn out as a pair of shoes in a Salvation Army bin. I wanted nothing more than to take a hot bath and crawl between my bed sheets, but as I walked up my driveway, I heard a basketball bouncing on our backyard court, and I knew only one person would be playing this time of night: the King of Bling.

The smart thing to do was to go into my house and ignore Tim and the mess he was making for himself. But unfortunately, I sighed
as I headed to the backyard. I never was very smart when Tim was around.

As Tim shot an effortless lay-up, he called to me, “I was waiting for you to get home. Want to play some one-on-one? I’ll even spot you five points to make it fair.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not really in the mood for basketball. What I really want to do is talk about jewelry.”

“Jewelry?” Tim asked, missing his rebound.

“Yeah,” I said. “More specifically, bracelets. I’ve been searching for a silver bracelet that looks like it was braided together, with a heart charm on it. You haven’t happened to see one like that, have you?”

Tim dribbled the ball, avoiding my eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really?” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “Then maybe I’ll ask Cassie and Alyssa to come over and jog your memory.”

“Oh!” Tim slapped himself on the forehead. “You’re talking about those bracelets.”

“Yeah, those,” I said. “I just wish I would’ve known sooner I had a jewelry dealer living next to me. I could’ve put in an order.”

“Sorry, I’m all out of stock on that style,” Tim said with a grin. “But I do have a nice gold chain if you’re interested.”

“No thanks,” I said, turning on my heels and heading to my house. “I don’t need you throwing jewelry at me like I’m in a Mardi Gras parade.”

“All right,” Tim said to my retreating back. “You caught me. I bought those bracelets at a two-for-one sale. I gave one to Cassie a few months ago and I gave the other one to Alyssa last week. After all, what was I going to do with a girl’s bracelet? I didn’t think you’d want it.”

“So, which of them are you dating?” I asked as I turned around, unable to crush the concern I had for Tim. “Cassie or Alyssa?”

Tim shrugged. “I wouldn’t say I’m dating either one.”

“Then why are you giving them jewelry?” I asked in exasperation.

“What are you getting so worked up about?” Tim asked.

“I am not worked up!”

“Right, you’re cool as a cucumber.” Tim paused. “I wonder why people say that. I mean, cucumbers aren’t the only things that are cool. In fact, there are a ton of things colder than a cucumber, unless they mean that a cucumber doesn’t get tense. And if that’s the case, it’s still a stupid thing to say. No vegetables are tense. So why don’t people say ‘cool as a cumquat,’ or ‘cool as a carrot,’ or ‘cool as a—’”

“I swear, if you say one more thing about vegetables, I’ll stick one in a part of your body that’ll make you walk funny for a week,” I said.

“Wow,” Tim replied, bouncing the ball through his legs. “You sure are crabby tonight.”

“I’m not crabby,” I replied. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you. How many girls are you dating right now?”

“Why?” Tim said, now dribbling the ball around my legs. “Do you want me to add you to the list?”

“No.” I stole the ball from him and held onto it, so he’d have to look at me. “I’m just worried that you’re getting in over your head. I mean, how long do you think it’ll be before Cassie and Alyssa figure out you’re dating both of them at the same time?”

“I never told either of them I was dating them exclusively.”

“It doesn’t matter what you said, Tim!” I exclaimed. “If you give a girl a bracelet, she’s going to think you’re serious about her.”

“Really?” Tim said, taking the ball from my hands. “Even if I paid less than five bucks for both of them?”

“You are completely hopeless.”

Tim began dribbling the ball again. “I just think you’re jealous I’m dating other people.”

“Me, jealous?” I gave a hearty laugh. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“You are jealous.” Tim grinned. “I know you still want me.”

“Yeah, right,” I said. “I want you as much as I want to catch an incurable disease.”

“If you don’t want me, then why are you so upset I’m dating someone else?”

“I’m not upset—I’m tired,” I said, unable to say why I cared so much about who Tim was dating. “I’ve had a long day. I’m going to bed.”

“Fine,” Tim said. “Leave. But remember, the longer it takes for you to figure out how much you still like me, the more time I have to find someone else to like. I’m not waiting around for you forever, Mia.”

“Waiting around for me?” I stopped, unable to let that one pass. “When have you ever waited for me? All you had to do was not be with anyone for eight weeks in Maine, and you and I would still be together. And you’re dating two girls right now! So don’t get all ‘I’m not waiting around forever’ with me. I don’t need you or any guy to make me happy, and if you think I’ll ever come running back to you, you’re a few beads short of a rosary!”

I stormed off toward my house.

“Does that mean you don’t want to play basketball tonight?” Tim called.

Biting my lip, I kept walking. I was dying to tell Tim what he could do with his basketball, but I knew that making one more reference to shoving a foreign object into his body would be too much for one night.

The next few weeks blurred together in a whirlwind of homework, driver’s ed, and play rehearsals, none of which was going very well. Between flunking a geometry quiz, almost side-swiping an SUV while driving with my mom to fulfill the extra twenty hours required for a license, and having to memorize all of Marian’s lines even though Katrina hadn’t missed a single rehearsal, I was glad it was already October.

Pretty soon, driver’s ed would be over and I’d be finished with
The Music Man.
Then, by the time December rolled around, I’d have just enough time to focus all my energy on finals. My parents had been threatening me with math summer school, and I didn’t think I could handle dissecting angles in the middle of July.

I was also hoping my soon-to-be open calendar would allow me to see Eric again. He was right about not having any time to date, because from the moment he got the part of Skye Masterson in
Guys and Dolls,
he’d been consumed with rehearsals. Between that and volunteering for the community theater’s upcoming
Jesus Christ Superstar,
he was swamped. He didn’t even stick around anymore after dropping Zoë off for driver’s ed, and I had absolutely no chance of getting any lip action. Being truly independent sure was hard on the hormones.

“I don’t know what your problem is,” Chris said as he walked into the family room, “but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.”

“If you ever fell down a well,” I replied, flipping on the TV, “Lassie would leave you there.”

“Lassie?” Chris plopped onto the couch next to me. “Have you been watching that TV oldies channel again?”

“Maybe,” I said, hating to admit how much I really enjoyed
Leave it to Beaver
reruns. “So what are you doing home? I thought you were going over Kevin’s house.”

“I am, but first,” Chris said, switching off the TV, “I need your advice on something.”

“Are you serious?” I sat up. “Or is this a ploy to lure me into a false sense of security?”

“I’m being totally serious,” Chris replied. “But after we’re done talking, I really think you should see someone about that paranoia thing you’ve got going on. It’s kind of creepy.”

Figuring this was the best I was going to get from Chris in terms of civility, I said, “So, what’s up? What advice do you need?”

“Um, it’s about Gina.” Chris stared at his hands. “I think she’s a little mad at me.”

“What makes you think that?”

“She called me a pathetic loser who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her.” Chris paused. “And she also said a bunch of other stuff I can’t repeat, because if I did, and Mom heard me, I’d get a mouthful of soap.”

“Yikes.” I winced. “What’d you do to make her so mad?”

“Nothing,” said Chris, lifting his arms in innocence.

“Nothing?” I doubted it.

“OK,” Chris said, leaning back into the couch cushions. “I might’ve said something that hurt her feelings.”

“You said something to hurt someone’s feelings?” I said. “Wow, that’s a first.”

“If you’re not going to take this seriously,” Chris said, “then I’m out of here.”

“OK, OK, I’m sorry,” I said, pulling him back onto the couch. “Now tell me what you said to her.”

Chris sighed. “I told her I didn’t like her anymore because I liked someone else.”

“Is that all?”

Chris nodded.

“Well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m proud of you, Chris,” I said. “I mean, it takes guts to admit you don’t have feelings for someone anymore. And even though Gina might be hurt, it’s way better you told her the truth now than letting her keep on thinking there’s something between you guys if there isn’t. You actually did a good thing by telling her you like someone else.”

“Except,” Chris said with a miserable look on his face, “it wasn’t the truth. I don’t like someone else. I like Gina.”

“Then why in the world did you tell her you didn’t like her anymore?”

“Because Tim told me to. He said I was making everything too easy for Gina. He said if I pulled away a little bit, she’d like me even more.” Chris again sighed. “But now she says she’s not going to sit next to me on the bus when we take our field trip next week. And I was totally looking forward to that because I figured if the bus bounced around just enough, I might be able to accidentally brush up against her and—”

“La la la la la la la!” I screamed, shoving my fingers into my ears and jumping off the couch.

“Cut it out,” Chris said, standing up and pulling my fingers from my ears. “Just tell me what I should do.”