Mia the Magnificent (9 page)

My mom rinsed the lettuce in the sink. “I don’t know if I can help you with any of those problems. But would you mind if I used them in the novel I’ve been trying to write? I’m really having a hard time getting started.”

“Meaning, she has rewritten her opening line over a thousand times,” I said.

“The opening line is important,” my mom said, pulling a knife out of the drawer. “It sets the tone for the whole book.”

“Yeah, but at the rate you’re going, I’ll be pushing your wheelchair around in the nursing home while you drool over your laptop, still trying to set the tone.”

“I know, I know,” my mom said, gathering her mass of red hair into a ponytail and tying it with a rubber band. “I’m just waiting for a really good idea to come to me.”

I turned my back to my mom and rolled my eyes for Lisa’s sake.

“I saw that,” my mom said. “Don’t forget, I’m a teacher and a mom—I have eyes in the back
and
side of my head.”

Lisa picked up her spoon and dug it back into the bowl. “You know, one of my problems could have been easily eliminated if you’d stayed in Student Council this year, Mia.”

“I didn’t go out for Student Council because I was afraid you were going to trick me into running for class president again. Plus, I thought last year’s vice president would run for president. How was I supposed to know she was going to move to Indiana the week before the election? Cassie won only because no one ran against her.”

“It doesn’t matter how she won. What matters is she’s now in charge of our student council.” Lisa licked her spoon clean. “Did you hear she wants us to hold a car wash this Saturday to raise money?”

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked.

“She wants the girls to wear bikinis!” Lisa held out her hands. “And when I explained to her that the average high temperature was 63 degrees in October, she said that was even better because guys like girls with goose bumps. I couldn’t believe it! Hasn’t she ever heard of the women’s liberation movement?”

My mom puckered her lips prudishly. “Lisa’s right. A girl shouldn’t flaunt her body in order to raise money.”

“Said the woman who marched naked to raise money for animal rights,” I said.

“I wasn’t naked. I was wearing a body suit,” my mom replied. “And I wasn’t intentionally raising money. I was simply protesting against people who wear fur and people kept handing me dollar bills.
Can I help it if I was a hottie in college?”

“Mom, no one says hottie anymore,” I said, sliding a tray of cookies into the oven. “And no one wants to hear about you being naked.”

“You’re the one who brought it up,” my mom remarked, scooping the chopped lettuce into a bowl.

“Anyway,” Lisa said, setting down her spoon, “as a member of the student council, I have to be there on Saturday. Unfortunately, so do Mandy and Mike. And I’m not up to facing Mandy when she’s wearing a bikini.”

“I can come with you, if you want,” I said. “I’m not doing anything else on Saturday.”

“Great!” Lisa exclaimed, instantly perking up. “I was hoping you’d say that. Besides, Tim will be there, and after last night’s rehearsal, I bet you’re dying to spend more time with him.”

“Why?” my mom asked, piling ground beef into a skillet on the stove. “What happened between you and Tim?”

“Nothing.” I picked up a dish rag and scrubbed an imaginary spot on the counter. “Lisa doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She wasn’t even there.”

“I was in the costume room,” Lisa said, scooping out a chocolate chip from the bowl. “And even back there, the temperature went up a couple of degrees when Mia and Tim kissed.”

“It did not!” I said, giving Lisa my most powerful “shut up” stare.

“Hold on,” my mom said. “Why were Mia and Tim kissing at rehearsal?”

Lisa chewed her chocolate chip and explained, “Well, Katrina was gone and Jake kept shoving his tongue in Mia’s mouth...”

I quickly glanced over at my mom. Yep, I could count all her molars.

“So, the way I heard it, Tim said he could show Jake how to kiss Mia the right way, and he did! And from what everyone said, it was
some kiss.”

“OK, that’s enough, Lisa.” I hoisted her off her kitchen stool. “I think you should get going now. It’s almost time for dinner.”

“Forget dinner!” my mom exclaimed, yanking her hair out of its ponytail and running out of the kitchen. “I just got the perfect idea for my novel!”

The next Saturday, I woke up to a clear sky and what was, for October, a record-high temperature, making me wonder just how close Cassie’s relationship with the devil really was. It was the perfect day to wear a two-piece swimsuit to a car wash—that is, for anyone whose parents would let her wear one.

I walked into the kitchen and Chris looked up from his cereal bowl. “Where are you going so early on a Saturday? The circus hire you for the freak show again?”

“You know,” I said, grabbing a granola bar from the cupboard, “if you were just a little bit smarter, you’d need watering.”

“Why are you so cranky?” Chris asked. “You look in the mirror?”

“No,” I replied as I ripped the wrapper off my granola bar. “I’m crabby because I told Lisa I would help her run the car wash, but Mom and Dad are insisting I wear a T- shirt and shorts when every other girl is going to be wearing a bikini. I’m going to look like the Miss Congeniality contestant at a beauty pageant.”

“Don’t you need a pleasant personality to win Miss Congeniality?”

I scowled at him and gnawed off a hunk of granola bar. “So, where are Mom and Dad?”

“Dad went for a run—mumbling something about how turning 40 wasn’t going to slow him down—and I haven’t seen Mom in days. She’s been holed up in her bedroom pounding away on her laptop.
Do you think she’s
starting
to turn mental on us?”

“Starting to turn mental?” I chewed off another bite. “So, what pointless thing are you doing today?”

“I’m hanging with Gina at the mall.”

“Gina?” I asked, surprised. “You actually took my advice and she forgave you?”

“Like I was ever really going to listen to you,” Chris said, pouring more cereal into his bowl. “No, after you gave me that lame advice, I went to talk to a real expert—Tim.”

“Oh no,” I said, groaning. “What did he say?”

“He said to ignore Gina for a day or two, and then she’d come back to me.” Chris smiled. “And he was totally right. Gina called me last night and asked me to go to the mall with her. So, once again, Tim proved he’s the master when it comes to girls. If I keep following his advice, I’ll be just like him when I get to high school.”

At the thought of Tim playing Dr. Frankenstein with my little brother, I choked on my last bite of granola bar. I had to stop him. Maybe I could place garlic around Chris’s neck or stab Tim through the heart with a stake—oh, wait, that was Count Dracula. OK, I wasn’t really sure how they stopped Frankenstein—we hadn’t gotten to that book in English yet—but I did know it ended badly for Frankenstein’s monster. No way was I was going to let my little brother suffer the same bad results.

I pulled into the grocery store parking lot where the car wash was going to be held just as Mike finished locking up his bike.

“Hey, Mia,” he said with a wave. “What are you doing here?”

“Lisa needed my help,” I said as I climbed off of my bike, “and you know how hard it is to say no to her.”

“Yeah, I remember. One time, she talked me into seeing a film
that was entirely in French and didn’t even have subtitles.”

“Wow, that must have been rough,” I said, placing my bike chain through my front wheel.

“Actually, it wasn’t too bad.” Mike shrugged. “I kind of liked it, even if I didn’t understand any of it.”

“Lisa does have a way of making even the most boring things fun,” I said.

Mike sighed. “Yeah, she definitely isn’t boring.”

“Are you saying Mandy is?” I asked, hoping to give a ray of hope to Lisa. Maybe Mike wasn’t as into Mandy as Lisa thought he was.

Mike looked at me. “I didn’t say that.”

“But I can tell that you think it,” I replied, praying I was right.

“Even if I did,” Mike said, “it’s not like I can do anything about it. There’s no way I can hurt Mandy’s feelings by breaking up with her for no reason. And it’s not like Lisa and me are ever getting back together. She totally hates me. I can tell by the way she always glares at me in the hallway.”

I paused, debating how much information I should divulge. After all, there was a best friend code of conduct. But if I shared a little bit of Lisa’s true feelings, it might benefit both Lisa
and
Mike. Taking a deep breath, I said, “You know, Mike, Lisa really doesn’t—”

“Mia, where have you been?” Lisa said as she came running into the parking lot. “The car wash is about to start.”

I almost groaned.

“Hey, Lisa,” Mike said, rearranging the wood chips around the tree with the toe of his shoe. “How have you been?”

“Fine,” Lisa replied curtly.

“That’s good,” Mike said with a somewhat discouraged shrug. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Considering we both attend the same school, I believe that is an inaccurate statement,” Lisa said. “You have seen me, but we haven’t spoken, which is completely appropriate considering I have nothing to say to you.”

“OK, then,” Mike said, giving me an “I told you so” look. “I guess I’ll see you later, Lisa, and it was good
talking
to you, Mia.”

As I watched Mike’s disheartened form trudge across the parking lot, I turned to Lisa and said, “Did you have to be so mean to him when he was trying so hard to be nice to you?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Lisa sighed. “It’s like my brain won’t let me be nice to Mike because it’s afraid if I do, I might start liking him again.”

“Again?” I asked. “Lisa, you never got over Mike in the first place.”

“But I will get over him... eventually,” Lisa said, “just as soon as I figure out the correct variables to my equation.”

“You and your equation are driving me crazy,” I said.

“Then let’s not talk about it anymore.” Lisa held out a towel and bucket to me. “What do you want to do? Wash or dry?”

Deciding to drop the Mike issue until I came up with a better strategy, I grabbed the bucket. “How about I start on washing and see how it goes?”

“Great.” Lisa pointed to the side of the store. “The faucet is over there. Fill up this bucket and I’ll meet you out front.”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” I said, saluting her, momentarily forgetting I had a bucket in my hand.

As I rubbed my sore forehead, Lisa giggled. “I’m so happy you’re here today.”

“I’m here to amuse,” I replied as I left Lisa’s side and headed toward the faucet.

As soon as I turned the corner of the building, I was immediately accosted by Cassie Foster. Grabbing my arm, she demanded, “What are you doing here, Freak Queen? You’re not even on the student council anymore.”

“Um,” I said, relieved I was still holding the bucket in case I had to use it to defend myself, “Lisa asked me to help.”

“Yeah, right,” Cassie said with a sneer. “I bet you’re here to see
Tim. You probably think that kiss you had at rehearsal actually meant something.”

“No, really,” I said, “I’m not—”

“Mia?” Alyssa said as she rounded the corner. “Lisa told me you were back here. I was wondering if you had a few minutes so I could talk to you about Tim.”

Oh great,
I thought. The bucket was looking more and more useful with each passing moment.

“Excuse me,” Cassie said snidely, “but I’m talking to Mia the Freak right now—wait a minute, did you say you wanted to talk to her about Tim?”

“Yeah, but,” Alyssa said, backing away from Cassie like she was a rabid dog, “I, I, I guess it can wait.”

“No, go ahead.” Cassie crossed her arms across her chest, which was currently spilling out of her hot pink bikini. “I want to hear what you have to say, too.”

“Oh, uh, OK,” Alyssa said, looking as though she wished she was anywhere but here. “I wanted to ask Mia about that kiss she had with Tim the other night. Because I wanted to make sure she knew that Tim and I are exclusively dating. He gave me this bracelet and everything.”

“Huh, that’s funny,” Cassie said, her eyes practically shooting sparks as she threw her arm in front of Alyssa’s face. “Because he gave me the same bracelet.”