Mila (Heartbreaker #3) (13 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Mila

Brian left for work a little while ago, and I’m getting ready to go over Jill and Nico’s house and visit Jill. Nico needs to run a few errands, so I told him I’d come sit with her. I know she’s going stir crazy, but she’s getting closer and closer to her due date so hopefully it’ll all be over soon.

After showering, I throw on some leggings and an off-the-shoulder t-shirt. My hair is in a braid that hangs down past my bra straps and I keep my makeup light.

I’m just getting ready to leave when my phone rings. I look and am surprised to see Gaia’s name come up on the caller ID.

“Gaia, how are you? I’ve been worried about you.”

Her sigh comes through the line. “Hey, sissy. I’m okay. I hear you’re in love. Who’s the guy?”

“His name’s Brian. He works with Jill and is a social worker. Gaia, he’s amazing and treats me so well. If you’d just move here, you could meet him.” Just saying his name makes me smile.

“Does he know you can’t have kids? You know that would be a deal-breaker with most guys.” I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it in disbelief. Maybe she isn’t trying to be hurtful, but it still stings.

“Jesus, Gaia. Of course he knows. We’ve already talked a bit about what our options could be if we get to that point in our future. What’s going on with you? Mom says you disappeared for a week.” There’s no point in beating around the bush.

“Nothing’s going on.
Momma
needs to relax. I don’t need you and Nico on my back either. I’m handling it, okay?”

“If you need me I’m here, okay? I wish you’d consider coming here. I’m so much happier here than I was at home.” I want her desperately to come here. She’d be able to heal if she were away from the toxic memories.

“Yeah, sure. Listen, I need to go, but I’ll talk to you later.” She doesn’t give me a chance to say anything else before she disconnects. It’s time I let Nico know my concerns. Hopefully he’ll be able to get through to her.

Before I leave, I grab a bottle of water and throw it in my bag.

My thoughts are on Gaia as I head toward Nico and Jill’s. She’s changed so much, and I’m not sure what’s going on with her, but it’s scaring me. It’s reminiscent of how Nico was when he started using. Of course that was before he moved to America and went completely off the rails. Hopefully our brother will be able to reach out and get through to her.

I pull into Jill and Nico’s driveway about ten minutes later, grab my bag, and head inside. “Jill!” I call out when I shut the door behind me. I’m greeted with silence and figure Jill’s sleeping. In the kitchen, I find the sink filled with dirty dishes, so I quickly do them and wipe off the counters.

Upstairs, I make my way toward their bedroom. The door is open, and I step inside the room. Jill’s sitting on the side of their bed with her head bent. I can hear her labored breathing.

“Jill, are you okay?”

“My water broke.” She seems a lot calmer than she should be.

“Oh my God! Okay, what do you need me to do? Have you called Nico?” I’m not proud of the fact that I’m starting to panic.

She grabs my arm and looks up at me. Her mouth is pinched, her brow furrowed. “I haven’t called him yet, but I’ve been contracting all morning. They’re five minutes apart. I need you to take me to the hospital.”

I help Jill change into some dry clothes and grab her overnight bag out of the closet. We call Nico, who is going to meet us at the hospital. With an arm around her waist, I help her down the stairs, out of the house, and into my car. She starts having a contraction before we pull out of the driveway. I want to stop until it’s over, but she tells me to just start heading there.

The medical center is big enough that they have valet service. They bring me a wheelchair for Jill and take my car. We go to the front desk and they tell us where to go.

We head up to the birthing center and they show us to her suite, which is gorgeous. It looks like a hotel suite. Jill steps into the bathroom to change into a gown, and I sit back on the sofa while the nurse hooks her up to the machine that lets us hear the baby’s heartbeat and watch her contractions.

Jill is pacing back and forth next to her bed, the wires hanging down and keeping her from moving far from the bed. She only stops when she starts having a contraction. I’m not really sure what to do for her, so while she breathes through the contractions, I rub her back for her as she leans against the bed.

“Is this okay? Can I do anything else?”

“No, this is great. My back is killing me,” Jill tells me and breathes as the contraction fades.

“Jill!”

My brother comes running into the room and I back away as he goes right to his wife, hugging her close. I feel myself tearing up a little as my big brother places a hand on Jill’s belly. I don’t know what he’s saying to her, but her lips tip up in a sweet smile and then he places a gentle kiss on her lips.

I almost feel like I should leave, but I’m not sure what the protocol is. They never asked me to be in the room, but if I get the chance I’d love to stay.

Nico helps Jill back onto bed and then comes toward me with a nervous smile on his lips. “Thanks for bringing her. She swore this morning she was fine.”

“I was,” Jill grumbles from the bed.

“It was no problem. I was just glad I got there when I did.” I pick up my bag. “I’ll leave you guys to it. Call me when she’s here.”

“No, Mila, stay. You’re her godmother. It’s only right that you be here when she’s born,” Jill says.

My brother wraps his arm around my shoulders and squeezes me into his side. “Yes, please stay. I’m going to hover and drive Jill nuts, so you need to keep me in check.”

I love that my brother is worried that he’s going to make Jill crazy. I think she’s just going to be happy to have him with her.

***

Jill’s contractions are right on top of each other and the nurses are prepping her bed for delivery. While Nico is on the phone letting Gabe know what’s happening, I’m holding a cool washcloth to Jill’s forehead. She grabs my wrist, breathing through her contraction.

“I’ve got to push,” she moans.

After that, things seem to move quickly. They show us how to hold her legs as she starts to push. Nico looks pale, but he’s holding strong as Jill moans with each push. For over a half hour, nothing seems to be happening, and then I look down again and see a strip of dark hair.

“I see the head, Jill. Give me a big push,” the midwife says.

Jill is a rock star as she pushes with all her might. Nico is cheering her on while crying. They have us pull her legs back a little more, and then there she is. With only her head out, they suction her little nose and mouth and Martine starts crying. Once the head is out, she seems to just slide the rest of the way out. I pull down Jill’s gown for her so she and the baby can be skin to skin.

Tears slide down my cheeks as I watch Nico and Jill with their new daughter. She’s gorgeous, even if she is covered in gunk still. Her head, which is full of hair, is dark, just like her
papa
. I bend down and kiss Jill’s forehead.

“She’s beautiful. I’ll start making the calls.” I go to grab my phone, but an arm stays me. I look up into the happy eyes of my brother.

“Thank you for being here. I love you.” He wraps his arms around me in a bear hug, squeezing me tight. “My wife is amazing.”

“Yes, she is. You go back to your wife and daughter. I’ll make those calls.” I step out into the hall and head down to the café, where I start calling Jill’s family, Gabe, and then
Mamma
to let them know that Martine is here.

I buy myself a coffee once I’ve called everyone. After grabbing my coffee, I head to the corner of the café and text Brian, letting him know that the baby is here. He asks me if I want him to come. I decline because there is no sense in him coming up here because I’m not staying much longer.

Do you want to come over to my place tonight?

No, but thanks. I think I just want to go home and crash. I’m exhausted.

Okay, well if you change your mind call me. I love you.

I love you, too.

I don’t know why I said no. I just feel like I need a little alone time. I’m not sure why, but I do. When I step back into the room, you’d never guess that a birth just happened in there. Jill is sleeping and Nico’s sitting next to the bed with Martine in his arms.

“Hi, big brother,” I whisper, not wanting to wake Jill up. His smile is so bright, I feel myself getting teary-eyed again. “I’ve called everyone. Mom wants you to call later. Jill’s parents should be here tomorrow. Gabe and Jasmine are going to bring me Nicola before they come see you guys in the morning.”

“Do you want to hold her before you go?” I swallow down the lump in my throat and nod my head. He stands up and places her in my arms.

She’s beautiful. Her dark hair pokes out from beneath her pink little hat. The pacifier in her mouth moves in and out as she sucks on it. I rub my finger down her ruddy cheek, smiling as she makes little baby squeaks.

“She’s gorgeous, Nico.” I hand her back to her daddy.

“Thank you. She is, just like her momma.” He looks at Jill, who is still sleeping, with so much love it makes me envious.

He kisses me on the cheek, and I tell him I’ll talk to them tomorrow.

As soon as I step out of the room, I practically run to my car. The ache in my chest is becoming too much to bear. I make it to the valet and hand them my ticket. As I stand there, waiting for them to come back, I wish they’d hurry up.

After they brought me my car, I hopped in it and took off like a gun shot. The moment I reach my home, I go inside, lock up, and immediately head to my room, where I lie down, staring up at the ceiling as the first tear falls. I’m so incredibly happy for Jill and Nico, but a part of me is so freaking jealous that I can’t see straight. That will never be me. I’ll never carry a baby, never give birth…anything. I curl into myself as I cry for the one thing I’m never going to have.

I open my eyes. It’s dark out. I realize I must’ve fallen asleep. When I try to push myself up, I feel an arm wrapped around me. I roll over slowly and in the dark I can see Brian’s outline. Tucking myself under his chin, I fall back to sleep.

A kiss to my forehead wakes me up. Brian is smiling down at me. “Hey, sleepy head. Your eyes are swollen,” he says while he rubs his thumb under my eye.

“It was a long day.” I don’t want to tell him the truth, that I had myself a nice little pity party last night when I should’ve been happy and celebrating the witnessing of my niece’s birth. I should’ve gone to Brian and told him how I was feeling. Now I just don’t want to admit it that I was weak.

“That’s not all. I know that can’t have been easy, but I’m so proud of you for being there for them. Are you going to the hospital to see them today?” he asks as he kisses my neck.

“Gabe and Jasmine are bringing Nicola here in a little bit so they can go see her. I’m sure they’ll have me bring her up at some point so she can meet her baby sister.”

I crawl out of bed, and he follows me into the bathroom. He leans against the doorjamb and watches me brush my teeth.

“Do you want me to stay and help?”

I nod my head and smile at him around my toothbrush. My first instinct right now is to push him away, but I’m trying very hard not to. He knows that I can’t have children, so it’s not like it’s going to be a surprise. Brian tells me to hop in the shower and he’ll make breakfast and watch Nicola if they drop her off soon.

In the privacy of my bathroom, under the spray of the water, I shed a few tears, hoping I’m getting them out of my system. I don’t want to do this in front of my family when they should be happy, celebrating the new life.

I get dressed in another pair of leggings and a long t-shirt. My hair is twisted up into a bun on top of my head. I make my way into the living room and freeze. Brian is on the floor watching cartoons with Nicola in his lap. She’s chattering away and pointing at the TV. Brian agrees with everything she says and she’s eating it up.

I step further into the room and they both turn toward me. “Mimi!”

“
Ciao
, baby girl.” She launches herself at me, so I pick up her cute little toddler butt.

“Come eat, baby. I made you eggs, and I just need to pop your toast in the toaster.”

I follow him into the kitchen and let him pour me a cup of coffee. Nicola sits in my lap at the table, shoveling spoonfuls of scrambled eggs into her mouth. She is certainly a healthy little eater.

When the toast is done, Brian joins us at the table. “Thank you for breakfast. Do you want to go to the hospital with us?”

“Sure. Nicola, are you excited to meet your baby sister?” Brian asks her.