Mind the Gap (In Too Deep) (17 page)

"Josh," I whispered, "I want you. I want this. Please."

Josh didn't try to talk me out of it. He just smiled as he bent to kiss my neck. He ever so gently guided the tip of his erection to the opening at my center. His hand was wrapped around it, near the end, and I loved the feel of his fist against me. Just about crazy with desire, I forced my hips forward to increase the pressure. He pushed forward to meet my thrust.

I was so ready for him that he had no problem pushing into me in
one motion. I gasped at the intrusion, but then settled into enjoying the sensation that came from being stretched so tightly. I pulled on his backside, forcing him to remain buried deep inside me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on nothing else but the feel of his hard length on the inside of me. It felt so good, I almost lost it right there, even with him being completely still.

"Oh my God, Josh. I love how this feels. It's too good." I sucked air through my teeth as I enjoyed the
warm rush that pulsed through me. "I think I'm going to—"

"It's okay," he whispered, "you can."

I started rocking my hips in a slow rhythm. Josh was as solid as iron, pressing down on me with relentless pressure. I writhed against him, moving my body against his until an earth-shattering orgasm overtook me. I felt as if I had jumped off the edge of a cliff and was falling for a long minute before I came to my senses again.

Josh remained inside me,
still completely motionless. He smiled at me as he lowered to place sweet kisses on my cheeks and forehead. We stayed tangled on that couch for another hour, and by the end of it we were both exhausted.

I felt as though I had bared every part of myself to Josh Rand that evening, like I didn't hold
anything back. I wasn't just giving him my body, I was giving him my heart, and even though it might have been naïve, I actually trusted him with both.

Chapter 20

Josh

It
was official. I couldn't be held responsible for my actions when I heard a few simple notes from Brit's soft little raspy voice. It had to be the vulnerable quality of it that compelled me. Whatever it was somehow caused me to want to protect her. The sound of it made me forget all insecurities about the way things had ended up last time we were together. I knew there was a possibility things would wind up being awkward again, but I just couldn't make myself care enough about the risk to change my course of action. I wanted her, and it seemed like she wanted me too. What was there to do but go with it? 

We had a
really nice time on the couch (if you know what I mean) before ordering some takeout. I was glad we slept together early in the day. That way sleep wouldn’t create that distance it had last time. I didn't want to waste any time with awkwardness. If we could get along in the bed, there should be no reason we couldn't get along in the rest of life.

We talked about it, and I decided to spend a few hours over at her house, but then go home for the night. I could tell both of us were contemplating mentioning me spending the night, but neither of us came out and said anything. I knew it was pretty
early in the relationship to be starting with the overnight visits. But what the hell did I know about relationships anyway? And wasn't it sort of weird that I felt okay sleeping with a girl, but not with sleeping over at her house? Regardless of whether or not I wanted to spend the night (which I did) I didn't have clothes or a toothbrush. Not to mention, it was Monday evening, and I had to be at work early in the morning. Brit was totally fine with me not spending the night. Maybe she was like me and figured it was just too early in the relationship.

We talked about her being afraid of the dark, and she said she was giving some serious thought to getting a Bullmastiff dog like Emily's. Sal possessed the perfect combination of intimidating looks and lazy, gentle temperament, and Brit
was really putting some serious thought into getting one. What's more is that Gretchen and Joel both liked the idea of having another dog like Sal hanging around the property.

Brit had been looking into breeders online, and had it narrowed down to a few places. They were all in the L.A. area, so she had plans to go visit the parents once she got serious about buying one. She said first she needed to get settled in and catch up on her finances since moving was so expensive.

I was totally supportive of the idea of Brit having a dog. Obviously, she didn't have much to worry about since she was on gated property, but I knew the dog would help her with her fear of being alone. And, for God's sake, I certainly didn't want Trevor (or any other friend who happens to be a guy) coming over to keep her company at night.

Before I left that night, Brit showed me my painting. I'd seen it propped against the wall, but
it was mostly blocked by other canvases. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen, and that's not just because I really liked the artist. The color patterns were in a circular design, but the painting was made from tiny painted squares that gave it the look of a mosaic. The combinations of colors and textures on all those little painted squares drew me in, and I found myself staring at the painting for several long minutes, checking out all those cool squares. Each one was different. A time or two I even reached out to run my finger on one of them to feel the bumpy texture. Brit just sat there and watched me inspect it.

Finally, I looked at her.

"Whatcha think?" she asked. She was wincing.

"Brit, seriously. Thank you so much for not letting
Trevor talk you into giving him this and painting me another one. I mean, not that I don't think you could do it again, which I totally think you can, it's just that I
want
this painting. I love it. Name your price. I'll write you a check right now."

She loved that I loved it, and a huge smile spread across her face.

"I want you to have it."

"I'm so glad we agree.
"

"No, I mean I want to give it to you. Like for free."

I laughed. "There's no way I could let you do that. I can't even begin to imagine how many hours you've spent on that thing. Seriously, name your price."

"Josh, I'm being serious too. It's something I've already thought about. I can't take money fro
m you. I don't
want
to. I really want to make it a gift. Please let me." She reached out to touch my hand as if the contact would let me know how sincere she was. I could easily see she was sincere, but I was sincere about wanting to give her something for her time also. 

"I don't feel right about
taking it without giving you
something
," I said. "You know, to help you get moved."

She looked at me, her eyes pleading with me to understand. "It may be too early or weird for me to say this, but I'll just go ahead and say it so you understand… I really like you, and I don't want you to give me anything for the painting. I want it to be a gift…you know, because I like you." She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair.

I smiled. "I like you too, Brit. And I'm not going to argue anymore because I see what you mean, I guess I wouldn't like it if you tried to pay me for a gift." 

"Finally," she said, smiling and putting her arms around my neck. She stood to her tiptoes and put her lips to
mine in a quick kiss.

I wanted to take the painting with me when I left, but she insisted she wanted to do one final tweak on it before she let it go. I told her there wasn't a thing I'd change, but she said
what she had in mind was so minor that I wouldn't even notice. I made her promise to have it to me soon since I was anxious to hang it in my apartment. 

****

The next day after work I rode out to Joel's property in the hills. The cabin was dang-near ready and I was excited to see some of the finishing touches that were being added. Joel had consulted with me some when they began laying the foundation, and I'd been in on a few construction suggestions that he'd ultimately gone with. It was a beautiful project, and I was glad to be a part of it.

I pulled up a few minutes early, and got out of my truck to look around the outside of the house. It was after 5PM, and there were still a couple of crews on the property, one doing landscaping with brightly colored flowers, and the other putting up an iron fence and gate. They didn't need a privacy fence way out here on property this big, but the iron fence and gate was a nice accent to the massive amount of landscaping that was going in.

Joel pulled up just as I circled back to the front of the house. He had Gretchen and the baby with him, and we all exchanged hugs and handshakes before making our way into the house. Gretchen settled the baby on a blanket on the couch as Joel and I walked around the house to see all the changes.

I asked Gretchen if she wanted me to sit with the baby while she looked at everything but she said she'd already been
there once that day. She just came along for the ride. I told her how much I liked the furniture she picked out.

"Thanks!" she said. "I just copied things I liked from
Pinterest and hired people to do what I couldn't."

"It looks great," I said. "I think everyone should have a house in the woods."

"It's funny you say that," Gretchen said, "because we're making it available to our family and close friends."

I gave her a questioning look.

"Joel and I made ten copies of the key. We're giving them to the people we love. We want you to be able to use the cabin anytime we're not using it. All you have to do is call us and see if it's open, and if so, you'll have your own key and you can just let yourself in."

"You're letting your cabin be a free timeshare?" I asked.

Gretchen and Joel both laughed.

"Yeah, I guess so," Joel said, "We just like to think of it as giving our family a key.
It's not like we're giving them to people we don't trust."

I couldn't believe how free this couple was with their money. All of our friends had some measure of success, but Joel was the only one who had money to share, and the most amazing part was that he
actually
shared it. The cabin was beautifully furnished, and I had a hard time believing they'd just pass out keys to their friends. I had an even harder time believing that I was apparently one of those friends, and I'd be able to use the place.

"You're not worried that someone will come in and trash the place?" I asked.

"It's just like I said, we trust you guys. We're only giving it to our closest friends," Joel said.

"Hey Josh," Gretchen interjected.
"This is unrelated, but I saw your truck at the house yesterday."

"Yeah, Brit's company left, and she called to see what I was up to."

Joel started talking to the baby, acting like he wasn't paying any attention to what we were saying.

"I talked to her today," Gretchen said.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, not knowing where she was going with that. "Yeah, and I know you're newly divorced and everything, so I thought I'd warn—"

"Not
newly
," I said.

"Huh?"

"It's been long enough. I'm over it."

"Oh,
well, you know what I mean. I just wanted to tell you that I think she really likes you. I didn't know if you were aware how much—"

"You don't have to worry," I said. "I like her too."

Gretchen gave me an accessing glance like she could figure out just how much I liked her if she looked hard enough.

"I'm serious. I'm not messing around with Brit, and the ex isn't an issue at all. I can't believe I'm even saying this, but I'm totally fine with the whole Kayla thing now. I know it's too soon to tell, but I think I could have another shot with Brit."

Gretchen squealed like it was the most wonderful thing she'd ever heard. "Oh my God, I almost feel bad for Rachel that she's not here right now. She would be so excited to hear all this
looove
talk, especially about Brit."

"I don’t know about all that, but I do like her," I said.

"Oh, quit playing," she said. "I can see it written all over your face."

"What?" I said. My hands went into the air as I shrugged.

"You
loooove
her," Gretchen said.

Joel cooed at the baby, but he was smiling, and
I figured I should be embarrassed, but wasn't.

"Admit it," Gretchen said, shoving at my shoulder.

"Whatever," I said, shrugging again. "I'm not saying that this soon, but I do like her. I like her a lot. I could definitely
see myself
loving her."

That must have been good enough for Gretchen, because she squealed again and added a congratulatory hug.

"I can't believe how freaking cute you guys are," she said. "I love the match so much."

I was a little taken aback by how suddenly things between Brit and I were becoming official.
Looking back, I realized I could have probably gotten out of that conversation a little easier, but I was glad I didn't deny how I felt.

Before we left, Joel handed me the key to the cabin. He said it'd be completely done before Christmas, and I was welcome to stay anytime as long as I picked up after myself. I promised him if I ever used it, I'd leave it better than it was when I arrived and thanked him for trusting me with a key
to such a nice place.

Gretchen flagged me down as I was pulling out of the driveway
to make sure I remembered about the Lakers game the next night. It was Rachel's birthday, and since they all went to see a Lakers game last year, they were making it a tradition. Last year they had courtside seats, and this year we'd be sitting a few rows back with the general public, but it would be fun regardless. I assured Gretchen that I was looking forward to it, and told them both I'd see them the next day.