Mine to Fear (3 page)

“
Thank you. It's just that we can't be
too cautious. There's only a few ways to get in Chardonia now,
especially since we're not technically allowed in. We have to keep
the
m
well
guarded.”

“
That's as it should be.”

I move back around the tree and into the
cave. It's dark and narrow, looking as if it ends before it even
begins, but I press on, slipping through a crack in the back just
wide enough for a person. It's even darker back here. I pull my
energy to my core and release it in the form of pure light. Only
it's not very pure. My nerves have brushed hints of green into
it.

Tawny casts her own spell, white and pure
with the tiniest touch of purple. I have no clue what purple means
to her. Even after knowing each other our entire lives, I have a
hard time reading her emotions.

As we walk through the rocky tunnel, we
chat, our voices echoing through the chambers. The chamber is damp
and smells of earth.

“
Will they be suspicious of us
bein
g
in
Chardonia?”

“
They are suspicious no matter if we
try to enter legally or not,” I reply. “If that bothers you, it'd
probably be best to turn around and go home.”

“
I'm used to suspicion. After all, I
have lived at court all my life.”

“
At least you've had practice. Though
that's going to be one of the smaller problems.”

“
What's the biggest?”

“
I don't know which threat is bigger
yet. The council or Zade.”

“
Zade's temper is something fierce,”
Tawny replies.

“
It's only gotten worse.” The tunnel
grows steeper, making my legs ache with exertion.

“
Worse? How's that even
possible?”

It's then I realize how bad it is that I
haven't told her yet. The ground levels out, and we come to a
cavern the size of a small room. I motion to the cave floor. “We
might as well rest here.”

She doesn't hesitate to follow my direction,
which bodes well for how seriously she's taking this. Besides, we
haven't eaten since we left and that was hours and hours ago. I'm
starving, even if my nerves are trying to say otherwise.

Once we're sitting, I pull out hard
tack, and we munch on it while I think on how to tell her that my
brother was serious about not marrying a princess. About wanting
instead another girl who's sweet and kind.
A girl who
barely knows magic, though I know that's not why they fell in
love.

After we've been eating a few minutes, she
asks, “Do I get to know how Zade's temper could have possibly
gotten worse?”

I set my food down, guilt making it too
difficult to eat, even if I'll need the strength later. “The girl
he owned, the one he set free…”

“
Serena.”

The fact she remembers Serena's name is
either really good or really bad. “Uh, yes, her. She um…”

“
Found a way to make his temper
worse?” Her expression is so neutral in the light of our wavering
magic, I can't decide how she's taking this all.

“
Actually, yes.”

“
Truly? How did she manage
that?”

I just have to spit the words out, no matter
how much they stick to my throat. “She captured his heart.”

“
Oh.” The defeated word echoes through
the cave.

I'm the inconsiderate person for not telling
her sooner. My words grow quieter as I continue. “He proposed, and
she has accepted. They are engaged to be married.”

“
Oh.”

Guilt presses in on me more than the
walls of the cave. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't
know how.” I'm selfish like that. And still slightly upset that I
wasn't there for the engagement. Or rather, majorly
upset
.

Her expression remains carefully guarded.
There's no telling what she's thinking. Being at court has probably
given her ample opportunities to practice because she's terribly
good at it. Even her spelled light hanging just above her head and
to the right doesn't change color to hint at what she's
feeling.

“
Tawny, are you all right? Do you want
to return to Envado?”

Finally, she squeezes her eyes shut as
if in pain, but it's the only indication she's feeling anything.
One that passes all too quickly. “I'm fine. It's just unexpected is
all. He made it clear that our relationship would be no more. I was
fine with that. Our parents had more plans for us than I think we
did. They're still disappointed he cut it off, though they
understood why when they heard of his gaining ownership of a
Chardonian woman. We heard of Zade breaking the first engagement
with Serena, an
d
we thought
maybe… But it's fine.”

That may be what her words say, but her
heart said differently when they were first engaged. “You don't
have to go through with this. I can make it on my own, and Envado
still needs you.”

“
Envado has what it needs.” The skin
around her eyes tightens. “I'm coming.”

And so she is.

I should have told her sooner. The thought
haunts me all through the tunnel, the cavern we stay the night in,
and the tunnel out to Chardonian territory. I don't know if the
guilt will ever leave or lessen. Sometimes I just make bad
judgments. The thought still plagues me as we step into Chardonian
sunlight.

The land is more beautiful than the evil
hearts ruling the country. Hills covered with forest as far as the
eye can see. Most women don't even know how pristine their country
is because they're too busy spending their lives locked up. If
Tawny wasn't present, I think I might just curse.

“
This is Chardonia?” she asks,
surprise tinting her words.

I glance over the forest. Rightness hums
through me. This is where I belong. Where I need to be. “This is
Chardonia. A place of repressed dreams and trodden hopes. Dreams
and hopes we will help set free.”

“
I like the sound of that.”

I do too. Except the problem will take
more than just saying a few words to be fixed. I don't even know
where to begin with helping them put the idea forward except by
continuing with what I was doing before.
Helping
Serena with whatever she needed while trying to place hints she was
worth more than she thought. It wasn't enough, but at least it was
something.

A few Chardonians may have come to
accept some women have the same rights as a ma
n
does, like owning themselves and land, and
that women can do magic, yet there's a long, long way for them to
g
o
. The women need freedom
from men. A say in things. A right to do what they want. And if
most of those in power had it their way, the little
progres
s
we've made would be
stomped on. The Grand Chancellor will use any means necessary to do
the stomping.

“
W
hat's this
place?” Tawny asks.

“
It's a house owned by a Chardonian
who helps our cause. My friend is here also.”

My skin tingles as I hurry toward the
building. Suddenly, someone grips my arm and yanks me to the side.
I whip my hand out, slamming it toward the side, just stopping
myself from spelling Cynthia.

“
You scared me.” I embrace her tightly
with a laugh. “It's been too long. How are you?”

“
Shh.” She pulls me further into the
trees, Tawny following. “This house has been
compromised.”

“
What?” I whisper, but roughly. “How
did this happen?”

“
I don't know. We think there's a
mole.”

A mole? My heart twists. Who would do this
to us? Why would they do this? Everyone who's helped us acted so
genuine.

She flashes a message spell that darts away.
“I tried to get word to you but didn't know where you were. Lukas
will meet us somewhere safer.”

Not safe, but safer. Too bad I have Envadi
royalty with me. What was I thinking, letting her join me? We
follow Cynthia through the trees until we reach a clearing that can
be seen from the house. She stares at it, biting her lip.

I almost ask how bad it is but clamp my
mouth shut. If she wanted to talk, she would have said something.
Seemingly satisfied with whatever she's staring at, she motions for
us to run. We take off.

Once we get going, I see what is making her
so stressed. Law officers. And they're coming this way. I move
faster, only in my haste, I run into a bush. Drat!

“
This way,” I hear one of the warlocks
behind us call.

Land sakes! How are we going to ever get out
of this? We're going to end up captured. My chest burns with more
than the need for air as we run.

I glance back. The warlocks are closer now.
I duck my head, not that it helps hide my tall height, and place
myself behind Tawny.

“
What are you doing?” she
demands.

“
Keeping you safe.” I throw a spell
behind me, black and thick. A blinding spell. If they can't see us,
they can't hit us.

My heart pounds as we make headway. When I
peek back, one of the law officers is in sight, and another comes
into view, the black spell hovering behind them like a fog. They're
further away than they were but still not far enough.

A golden spell flies from the closest one,
straight at me and Tawny. I jump on Tawny's back, throwing us both
to the ground. The spell soars over our heads, and crashes into a
tree beyond us, making the inner layer visible. That could have
been Tawny or me. I shiver.

But there isn't time to do more than that.
I'm pulling Tawny to her feet as Cynthia bursts an emerald spell at
them. They slow as it hits, coughing.

We press harder, running until my already
sore legs burn. Cynthia turns and aims a burgundy spell at our
pursuers. It slows them enough that they are out of sight, but they
zap several spells our direction. Cynthia throws a dark red shield
spell up, protecting all three of us from the attack.

As we continue to run, I can't help but
wonder what I've done by bringing Tawny into Chardonia. This isn't
the welcome I wanted for her or me.

“
Get back here, wenches,” one of them
calls.

Yeah, like that'll entice us to stop.

Tawny flashes a pink spell behind us. It
goes out of sight for a moment, only to flare up.

“
Got them,” she says.

I gasp for breath as we continue to pull
ahead. Cynthia covers our tracks with a spell I don't take time to
study, though I'd love to see how she does this one. My own
track-covering spell isn't what it should be.

After we've been running off and on for what
seems like all day but is probably closer to an hour, Cynthia stops
us. She looks around and then moves a dead bush to reveal a cave
entrance. Despite how hard the cave floor is, we all collapse on
it, heaving for breath.

“
That was not fun,” I say.

Tawny nods. Oh lands, her parents will never
trust me again when they learn how serious of a situation I've
dragged their daughter into. Why did they ever agree to let her
come? They know things are unstable here and getting worse.

Suddenly, Lukas is hugging Cynthia, gripping
her tightly and whispering in her ear. I stare the other way,
trying hard not to intrude on their moment.

“
Are you two well?” he asks us after
finally letting Cynthia out of the hug but still keeping an arm
around her.

I wait for Tawny to nod before saying,
“We're fine. What happened?”

“
I don't know,” Cynthia says. “Things
seemed to be going well and were safe, but this morning while Lukas
and I were on our way back from a walk, we saw several law officers
go in the house. We hid in the trees but never saw them come out.
And…”

“
There was screaming,” Lukas finishes
for her, his voice hushed.

Pain shoots through me. “But George has been
working with us for years.”

“
They are determined to have me,”
Cynthia says. “I showed everyone what women can
d
o with magic,
and they want
to annihilate that.”

Determination fills me. “They can try, but
they won't succeed.”

“
No, they won't. There have been a few
other girls who have run away from home. I'm going to try and find
them.”

“
That sounds like a good plan. Do you
need help?” I ask, excited there is a chance for me to do
something.

“
I think it'd be best if Lukas and I
keep the search group small.”

“
I should really move on anyway.”
Though I long for a way to do more.

“
Go to Serena,” Cynthia
says.

“
Thank you.”

If only Serena's family situation weren't so
fragile. If only her stupid father wasn't around so I could go
directly to the girls. Better yet, if only I could spell his lights
out. “I just don't know if we can get there safely now without the
male chaperone our contact was supposed to provide.”

“
I can take you and catch up with
Cynthia later,” Lukas says.

“
Haven't they been coming down on
foreigners?”

“
Yes, but we're not completely banned.
It will be less hassle for me to be caught than you.”