Mirror Image (47 page)

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Authors: Danielle Steel

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"I .. . I'm .. . Charles .. ." But as he looked at her, and remembered
what had happened that afternoon, he suddenly understood it.

"Are you expecting, Victoria? " he asked, looking stunned, as she
nodded. He had been incredibly careless for the past two months, but she
had never complained about it, so he had just let it happen. And knowing
her feelings about that, he was suddenly terrified that she would be
furious with him, and all the bad times would return again with a
vengeance. But as he looked at her now, she looked anything but angry
and she was crying.

"I am, " she admitted to him. She thought it must have happened on their
anniversary. She had already been to the doctor once, the baby was
expected at the end of March, and she was two months pregnant.

"Are you very angry? "

"Angry? " he said, staring at her, wondering how she could have
forgotten all the things she'd said in the past about not wanting to
have children. "How could I be angry? You're the one who never wanted to
have a child. Are you angry at me? " he asked with worried eyes.

"I've never been happier, " she whispered to him, as she closed her eyes
and he kissed her, overwhelmed by how lucky they were, and how
infinitely precious to him she was.

"I can't believe it .. . when will it be? " he asked her.

"In March, " she said softly, wondering what she would do when her
sister came home again and reclaimed him. What would happen to the baby
then? Whose would it be? What would Victoria say to her about this?

It was going to be a terrible scandal, but still all she could do was
cling to him now, and pray that the future would never come. When it
did, she would be the loser in all this. Particularly, if they demanded
to keep the baby. She envisioned all kinds of terrifying scenarios, when
she allowed herself to, but most of the time she just forced herself not
to think of any of it, except Charles and the baby.

They told Geoff just before they went home, and he was a little startled
too, but he didn't ask her any questions. They both took care of her
like a piece of antique glass, and she laughed at them, but she loved
it. Charles was even afraid to make love to her now, but much to his own
chagrin, he found he couldn't stop himself, and he was as amorous as
ever. The doctor in Newport told her there was nothing to worry about.

She was healthy and young and the baby would be fine, as long as she
didn't overdo it.

And the moment they got back to New York, Olivia raced to the house on
Fifth Avenue. The letters had been gathering there for two months, and
she hadn't dared ask anyone to send them to her. She prayed that
Victoria was all right in France, and her hands shook as she sat in the
doorway and opened each of her letters. She was still safe in France, in
the same place, working in the hospital, and Olivia stared when she read
the last letter from her. It was Providence. For a brief moment, it tore
at her heart, longing to see her again, and then she knew it had to be,
for her sake, and for Charles, and for their baby. Victoria said that it
was too difficult to explain, but that she was needed there, and
although her life was somewhat complicated, she had never been happier,
and for reasons she would explain to Olivia later on, she wasn't coming
home at the end of the summer as planned. For the moment, her life was.

there now and she begged her sister to forgive her. Olivia felt her
heart pound as she read the letter again. She missed her sister
terribly, but she knew it had to be this way now, for their sakes.

She prayed that she would stay safe and well, and that one day, Victoria
would forgive her for what she was doing.

 

 

 

Chapter 27.

 

The summer in Chalons-sur-Marne had been hard for all of them. The heat
of the battle had moved to Champagne, directed by General Petain, and
because the treeless meadows provided no cover and no natural defenses
for the men, the "poilus, " as the French boys were called, dug
themselves into trenches again and were slaughtered by the thousands.

The goal of their mission in Champagne had been to cut the German rail
lines, but as the Germans stood on the high ground watching them, the
Allies made easy targets. The artillery barrage continued night and day,
until the infantry went in and the boys were cut down like toy soldiers,
knocked over one by one, until their remains or their broken bodies were
brought in to the field hospitals for the doctors and women like
Victoria to work on. But there was precious little left of them by the
time they got them. It was a slaughter.

By the end of September, they were faced with blinding rains, and
everywhere they went, they sloshed through mud and water. It was
grotesque as some of the boys lay dying in the mud, literally drowning
as they blew bubbles of blood in puddles of water. The horror and the
shocking losses went on into October. And Edouard looked as tired as
everyone else as he sat in his barracks late one night with Victoria
when she came off duty. He had two rooms in the farmhouse that belonged
to the chateau, one as his bedroom, and the other as his study, and
Victoria was more or less living with him there, although everyone
pretended not to know it, and she still kept some of her things at the
barracks.

"It's not much fun, this war, is it, my love? " Edouard asked as he
leaned over and kissed her. He was soaking wet and had just come from
the hospital on foot in the pouring rain, but she was almost used to it
by now. None of them had been dry in a month, their clothes, their
tents, their sheets, everything was wet and moldy.

"Are you tired of it yet? " he asked. "Ready to go home? " Part of him
wanted her to go so he knew she'd be safe, another side of him always
wanted her near him. He had found in her something he'd never had
anywhere before, a woman who was his equal, his friend, as strong as he,
his lover, and at the same time his partner. They were perfect together.

"I'm not sure what home is anymore." She smiled tiredly at him and lay
down on their bed after sixteen hours of duty. "Isn't it here, with you?

I thought it was, " she said softly and he lay down next to her and
kissed her.

"I believe it is, " he said, kissing her again, and then he looked at
her with interest. "Have you told your sister about us yet? " He
wondered if she would, they had talked about it repeatedly, but Victoria
was still afraid to shock her. After all, they were both married.

"No, but I will. She knows. She knows everything about me."

"How strange to have someone like that. I was very close to my brother
before he died, but we were always very different." He loved talking to
her, about life, about the war, about politics and people, they shared
so many of the same interests, and he was almost as liberal as she was.

Almost, but not quite. He thought the suffragettes went too far, and he
told her that if she ever grew a mustache or went on a hunger strike in
order to get the vote, he would beat her.

"Olivia and I are different too, " she said, lighting one of his
Gitanes. They were getting harder and harder to get and now they had to
share them. "But it's like two sides of the same coin. Sometimes it
almost feels like the same person."

"Perhaps it is, " he teased, rolling on top of her and taking a drag off
the Gitane, "when do I get the other half? " He laughed.

"Never, " she grinned at him, "you'll have to be satisfied with what
you've got. We're all grown up now, no more switching." He laughed at
what she had just said and rolled off of her again.

"I'm sure your husband will be happy to hear that, " he said wickedly,
"poor devil. After this mess here, you've got to go home and sort that
out, for their sakes, " he said kindly, and she had long since agreed to
do that. When the right moment came to go home, she would go back and
tell Charles herself She owed that much to her sister.

"Maybe she won't want me to tell him by then."

"That could get complicated, I admit. At least there's nothing physical
between them, or so you say. But if she looks exactly like you, I'm not
sure I believe that. I defy any man to resist either of you for more
than a few weeks. God knows I couldn't do it."

"Did you try to resist? " she asked, looking intentionally evil and
almost purring at him as he chuckled. Even in the ugly, wrinkled
uniform, Victoria somehow managed to look sexy.

"Not for a minute, I'm afraid, " he answered honestly. "I can never
resist you, my love, " he said, and moments later, he proved it.

Later that night he broke the news to her that he had to go to Artois in
a few days, for the next Franco-British offensive. It had started the
same day as the battle in Champagne, but it was not going well and the
poilus hated the British commander, Sir John French, and wanted one of
their own there. There was a movement afoot to replace Sir John with Sir
Douglas Haig, but so far nothing had been done yet, and the French
didn't want him anyway, so Edouard had promised to go to Artois and see
what he could do to help morale, and help plan the battle.

"Be careful, my love, " she said sleepily. There was something she
wanted to say to him, but she was so tired she couldn't remember what it
was, and in the morning he was gone, and she had to go back to the field
hospital again. She didn't mind working fifteen- or even eighteen-hour
days. This was her life now.

Life in New York was far more civilized than in Chalons-sur-Marne, to
say the least, and October was bright and fair and sunny. It was
unusually warm, and Olivia and Charles seemed to be unusually busy.

They went to the Van Cortlandts several times, dinner parties with
clients at Delmonico's, and at the end of October, planned to go to a
large party at the Astors'. Olivia was four months pregnant by then, and
it didn't show in the style of the dress she wore, but it had already
begun to thicken her figure, and without clothes there was a small round
bulge that he loved to hold. It was so sweet to see her that way, and it
reminded him now and then of when Susan had been expecting Geoffrey.

Somehow, older and having paid dearly for what he cared about, this
seemed even dearer. Charles said he wanted a girl, and Olivia didn't
care, she just wanted the baby to be healthy.

He made her go to the doctor regularly, and he had reminded her once,
somewhat awkwardly, to tell the doctor about the miscarriage she had had
before they were married.

"He doesn't need to know that, " Olivia said, mortified. She hadn't had
it anyway, but she couldn't say that to Charles, and she was terrified
he might tell her doctor.

"Of course he does, " Charles said soberly, "particularly if you almost
died. You could hemorrhage again this time. Or worse yet, lose it." They
were both afraid of that, and whenever she was too tired, or felt ill,
she went home to rest, but it wasn't often. Olivia was in good health,
and better spirits.

So far, despite the ugliness of the war, and the heavy losses in
Champagne and Artois that fall, Victoria seemed to be safe and well, and
as Olivia read what she said, she always had an odd feeling of peace
from her, as though her sister had finally found what she wanted.

She made no mention of Edouard and yet Olivia had a sense from her that
she was not alone there. When she closed her eyes and thought of her,
she had an uncanny sense of fulfillment and completeness, not unlike
what she felt now, living with Charles, and waiting for their baby.

She wore a lavender silk gown the night they went to the Astors', and an
ermine coat her father had had made for her when he'd heard she was
having a baby. He was very proud of her, and l pleased that things had
worked out so well. It was easy to see how happy they were. The only
sorrow they all shared was the fact that "Olivia" had not returned, as
promised, at the end of the summer. The woman they all thought was
Victoria, except Geoff, said that she had heard from her, that her
sister was well, and that although she had given no address, she was in
a convent in San Francisco and would be home eventually. But no amount
of searching for her had turned up anything.

The investigators had finally given up at the end of August. But Olivia
had reassured her father again that her sister sounded well, and he
shouldn't worry. This was what she wanted and they all had to respect
that. He still reproached himself for Olivia's disappearance, and
secretly admitted to the real Olivia again that he thought her sister
was in love with Charles, and of course the real Olivia vehemently
denied it.

But other than that, all was going well for them, and on the night they
went to the Astors' ball, Olivia looked especially pretty.

Charles stayed close to her, and it was only when he ran into an old
friend, that he drifted away for a little while, and left Olivia to chat
with an acquaintance of her sister's. She had never doubted for a moment
that she wasn't talking to Victoria, no one ever did, Olivia was used to
it by now, and they had a pleasant conversation. Olivia was a little
surprised to learn that Victoria still owed her friend money from losing
to her at bridge, which made her smile as she promised to pay up this
time, since Victoria always swore to her she didn't gamble, because she
thought it was stupid.

Olivia wandered out to the garden then, to get away from the heat and
the noise of the room, and as she stood looking peacefully at the
rosebushes, she was startled to hear a voice behind her.

"Cigarette? " he said, she didn't recognize the voice as she started to
decline, and then saw it was Toby.

"No, thank you, " she said coolly. He was as handsome as he had ever
been, but she saw that he looked a little more used than he had two
years before when she first met him.

"How have you been? " he asked rather pointedly, almost strutting as he
came closer to her, and she could smell as well as see that he'd been
drinking.

"Very well, thank you, " she said, starting to move away from him, and
he grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him to stop her.

"Don't walk away from me like that, Victoria. You don't need to be
afraid of me, " he said boldly.

"I'm not afraid of you, Toby, " she said in a clear voice that took him
by surprise, as well as the man who was listening to her, unseen, a few
steps behind them. "I just don't like you."

"That's not what I recall, " he said, looking like a handsome snake, as
she turned on him with eyes that glittered with anger.

"What exactly is it that you recall, Mr. Whitticomb? Was it deceiving
me, or your wife, that you so enjoyed? Actually, what I recall most is
your attempting to seduce an innocent young girl, and then lying to her
father. Men like you belong in jail, not drawing rooms, Toby Whitticomb.

And don't bother sending me flowers again, or love notes. Don't waste
your time. I'm too old for that nonsense now from a man like you.

I have a husband who loves me, and whom I love dearly. And if you come
near me again, I'll not only tell him, but half the city you raped me."

"That was no rape, it was .. ." he started to say, but before he could
finish, Charles stepped out of the shadows, looking extremely pleased as
he smiled at his wife. He had come looking for her, just in time to see
Whitticomb follow her onto the terrace, and then he had gotten caught
listening to them inadvertently, but he loved everything she'd told him,
and * had warmed his heart to hear it. It had put an old ghost to rest.

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