Miss Whittier Makes a List (24 page)

He released her then, and turned away to the chart table.
“
Go to bed, Hannah,
”
he said, his voice a bit
daz
ed,
“
and don
’
t try to improve on perfection.
”

She hurried from the cabin, her face flaming, grateful for the darkness of the companionway. The solitude of her cabin was a blessed relief, she decided as she closed the door behind her, and then sighed with exasperation. Captain Spark
’
s boat cloak was still draped over the hammock.
“
I wi
ll
not return it tonight!
”
she said out loud.
“
I would have to be crazy!
”

She climbed the gun and crawled into her hammock, wrapping the cloak tightly about her, and gradually sinking into sleep. There is so much to worry about, she thought, her eyes hey as she listened to the endless clanking of the pumps forward. We are sinking, the
Azores
are still so far away, the French are lurking somewhere, and I have to memorize a dratted document. She snuggled deeper into the cloak, which smelled of mildew, like everything else on board, and Captain Spark. Thank goodness I do not love him
,
or this voyage could become a real trial. And thank goodness Mama warned me about sailors.

She brought him coffee at first light, setting it as usual on the quarterdeck and assuming her customary position on the rung of the ladder. He
crouched beside her as usual, h
is eyes weary, and sipped the coffee as he watched her face.
“
I was wishing you would come on deck sooner,
”
he said when he finished and handed back the mug.

“
I
can bring your coffee sooner, if you wish,
”
she replied.

He smiled.
“
I
am not so sure I want coffee as much as I need conversation. It would keep me awake better, I think.
”
He looked at the riggings, and then back at the jury-rigged mizzenmast.
“
Another night has passed, Lady Amber, and we are still afloat and somewhat closer to the
Azores
.
”

“
Will we make it,
do you think?
”
she asked.

He shrugged.
“
If you do not sight any French vessels, if the wind freshens, if the men can keep the pumps going. I don
’
t hold out an optimistic report.
”
He touched her shoulder then.
“
But don
’
t wo
rr
y, I
’
ll s
e
e you into one of the little boats.
”

“
I wasn
’
t worried,
”
she said as she got up to leave.
“
I don
’
t know why I should trust you, but I do.
”

T="+0">t hoaptain merely smiled and
resumed his position on the quart
erdeck, his eyes on the ocean. She went below deck again, retrieved Spark
’
s boat cloak, and placed it on the quarterdeck before climbing the riggings for another day of watching. He nodded to her and wrapped himself in it.
“
Smells of almond extract now,
”
he commented.

“
Oh, I am sorry,
”
she said.
“
Then thee should
—
you should
—
not give a girl a gift of scent
.
”

“
I will give you flowers in
London
,
”
he replied, his eyes on the sails.
“
And diamonds, when you will let me. And children, drat them, and an estate with a view of the ocean.
”

“
Sir, that wi
ll
not happen,
”
she replied, shy again and wishing he would not speak of such intimate matters.

“
Oh, we shall s
e
e, Hannah,
”
was all he would say.

The
Dissuade
moved sluggishly through the mid-Atlantic, weighed down by water in the hold, where the pumps clanked. Mr. Futt
r
ell sent his crew aloft to raise as much sail as they dared, knowing that too much canvas crowded in the upper yards would sink them as s
ur
ely as the
ocean
that lapped back and forth in the hold. When he was finally satisfied with the allotment of canvas, he sent the men below deck to the pumps again.

The shift in the hold changed every two hou
rs
, when the men, wet from the waist down, would come on deck and throw themselves down to sleep. Adam, his face drawn with exhaustion, climbed the rigging once to bring her some ship
’
s biscuit and a flask of moldy water. They sat together in silence, for the most pa
rt
, shoulders touching, staring out at the water.

“
Hannah, tell me something,
”
h
e askedinally.
“
Does thee love Captain Spark?
”

She brushed off the crumbs from her
shirt
.
“
Thee is absurd! Of course not.
”

“
He cares for thee.
”
It was a simple sentence, delivered with Adam
’
s usual lack of dramatics.
“
I s
e
e him watching thee.
”

Hannah put the telescope to her eye again and scanned the ocean.
“
He cares for thee.
”
Adam
’
s words so quietly spoken drilled into her brain.
“
Thee knows it is absurd, Adam,
”
she said as she watched.

“
So is our
current
situation, Hannah, and yet here we are. Who would have thought it?
”

Without any more talk, Adam returned to the deck. As much as she liked her childhood friend, Hannah was not sorry to
see
him go. I must think this through, she thought to he
rs
elf as she watched his blond head get smaller and smaller as he descended. She clasped her knees to her chest and leaned back against the mast, wondering what it was she had done to get the captain so convinced that he was in love.

Othe
rs
at home had withstood her ch
ar
ms, she told herself wryly, thinking of the young men who came into the parlor there on
Orange
Street
to sit and stammer and ask her how she did. Papa would talk of business, then leave her alone with one suitor or another, but
nothing ever came of it. I must be
speaking of th
e wrong things, she would think,
or perhaps it is the way I look. There were no mirrors in the
Whittier
house so she went to the pond in the back field, and stared into its reflecting depths,
wondering what there was about h
er features to prevent the return, beyond a few visits, of
Nantucket
’
s young men. She could s
e
e nothing in the reflection that would disgust a man intent up marriage.

She finally asked her best friend Abigail Winslow.
“
It is that
twinkle
in thy eye,
”
Abigail had confessed as they sat knitting once.
“
I suspect they think the
e is a rogue at heart, Hannah. Is thee?”

She smiled at the memory, and her outraged reaction, and then her smile faded. Perhaps I am a rogue, she thought as
she scanned the ocean again. I truly
would rather be sitting barefoot in trousers in Captain Spark
’
s lookout, my knees wide apart and my
shirt
unbuttoned.

It was more than that,
and perhaps there was something t
o what Abigail Winslow had so artl
essly declared. Last night when Captain Spark kissed her, she had not wanted him to stop. She lowered the telescope, wondering why her cheeks burned, even up here where no one could see her. I wonder, she thought, has this man taken my measure?
Does
he know somehow that I truly am a rogue, and more to the point, does this knowledge not frighten him off, as it did the young men of
Nantucket
? She rested her chin on the eyepiece of the telescope.
“
If the
e
knows these things about me, Daniel,
”
she whispered softly,
“
then thee knows me better than I do.
”

She watched all day and into the night, when Mr. Futtrell finally called to her and she came down, weary with watching. Captain Spark had ordered the running lights doused before he went below to snatch a few hours sleep. If only there was some way to stop the noise of the pumps, she thought as she went below deck, shook her head at Cookie
’
s attempt to feed her salt pork, and collapsed in her hammock. The thought of silent pumps made her sit bolt upright.
“
Oh, no,
”
she said.
“
Let them make all the racket they choose.
”
Silent pumps would mean that the voyage was over.